This is a good juice. This is a very good fruit punch. Fruit punch is a bit of a jerk, if I'm being honest. For the most part, fruit punch is an overly sweetened mess that makes a mockery of the fruits it claims to be made from.

This though, this isn't too bad. There is a very strong taste of cherries, which I enjoy, and a handful of other fruit that kind of blend together nicely. Apples and grapes kind of mush up into a flavor themselves as if someone just angrily let it all out on them when they weren't looking. A horrible mugging that they didn't see coming. Just mushed. Their loss is your gain because this is pretty good. Even the Stevia does a fine job of keeping things sweet but also in their place. It's like a nice but stern history teacher. Ahh history teachers; the oldest teachers in the game.

While I'm 99.9% it's not sure I really wish this company was associated with Found Magazine. If you are not familiar they collect notes, drawings, list, etc that people randomly find and post them online/in their magazine. It's weird and sometimes boring, but often strangely interesting to catch a glimpse of someone's world.

In the ideal world in my head these sparkling waters were created from recipes that were found on a sidewalk somewhere. You know the owner was just walking along one day, stopped to tie his/her shoe and say a paper laying in the street. The penmanship was interesting looking so they picked it up and it was a handful of recipes for flavored sparkling water. After a quick stop at the market, the ingredients were combined to form wonderfully refreshing sparkling beverages that were so good that a new company was launched.

If that happened to me and these beverages were the result, I certainly would have started the company just so that I could get people to try how great they are. I'm always forcing people to try my drinks, and with something like this I would like to do it on a larger scale. Lucky for me the company already exists, so I can make people buy it, or I could if they were available around Buffalo.

While they call this a sparkling water, I would say that it is a fairly dry soda. As soon as you add sugar to something it ceases to be called water to me. There isn't much sugar in here though, so it is a tad dry, but it's the kind of soda that works better dry. It really tastes like you muddled some cucumber and mint and shoved it into your bottle of sparkling water (with a tad bit of sugar). I fully stand behind any beverage that actually tastes like the things it is named after. There are far too many companies out there that take liberties with flavors. I want what it says on the bottle, and that is exactly what happened here. My mouth couldn't be happier. It's so light and refreshing. It's also a sipping beverage, and not something you find yourself chugging. That is for the best of everyone. Found, never get lost again.

Hats off to Jimmy Buffett. Seriously. I cannot drink or read the word "Pina Colada" without singing the chorus of that song in my head. I have been to a Margaritaville in Las Vegas and had a pretty decent meal of jerk chicken so once again, Jimmy, I doff my hat to you.

Review. Right. This is not a pina colada. I have never drunk one but this is sparkling and clear and not alcoholic and milky. Taste wise though; I don't hate it at all. I quite like it actually. Initially it tastes kind of diet but then you read that it's Stevia and not something gross and you kind of readjust your taste buds to it and the next sip is far better. One sampler in my focus group said that it smelled like suntan lotion but I don't think that I've ever met a pina colada that didn't.

For this being zero calories, this is very good. It is up there on my list of great pina colada drinks. It's accurate and even though they made it calorieless, it doesn't really suffer any consequences. So from me to both Spree and Jimmy Buffett, good work guys. You've got it.

Guys/Girls, I have to admit that I am not a big rooibos tea drinker. In fact, I don't know if I've ever had a proper glass of it. I do know that when there is a selection of bottled teas it is one of the last I would choose. I have no good reason for this. I don't dislike the taste by any means; it's just kind of there. I guess I'm just a green tea lover at heart, and it will always be my first choice, especially if it is jasmine related.

Cheribundi has done a good job with a tea that I care very little about. They took the slightly nutty flavored tea and kept its integrity while adding their classic cherry juice to it. The result is like the mullet of beverages, cherry up front, rooibos in the back. You are instantly greeted by a nice, tart cherry flavor that fades into a tea flavor for the aftertaste. If this type of tea is your thing, then jump right on this train. If you're on the fence, maybe you just need to buy a day pass and ride the train for a little bit and see what you think about it. I think you'll come back to ride again.

Vemma has been slowly building it's empire based on a promise of a healthier energy drink that does more than just get you amped up, as well as giving those beverages flavors that are outside the norm in the world of taurine, B vitamins and a whole lot of sugar. Now I seem to have left my Bunsen burners and my Erlenmeyer flasks back at the office so I was unable to perform the proper scientific research to confirm their health claims (they do seem above water though). What I can do with confidence is confirm the taste of this beverage.

This is no Red Bull, Monster or Amped clone. The Verve! line tastes like to other energy drink that I have encountered. For this can of ParTEA let's start with the fact that it is uncarbonated. This is a good thing since the base of it is green tea and as much as companies work on it, I have yet to taste a carbonated tea that I have preferred over the still variety. They have added mangosteen and aloe to the tea, which give it a nice fruity flavor. Actually the fruity flavor overpowers the tea a bit more than I would prefer it to. By a bit I mean that the tea flavor is hardly there. Such is the sadness in this world. Vemma chose to sweeten the whole deal up with a bit of organic cane sugar as well as a heaping of xylitol, which is a little used zero calorie sweetener. The result is that you end up with a fruity drink with a slight diet flavor to it that has a minimal tea taste, without any trace of the “classic” energy drink flavor to be found.

Did I need to be wearing a lab coat and goggles to type that out to you? Of course not. Did I do it anyways? Of course I did, I'm a scientist!

Some people enjoy things like lavender or chamomile to calm them down but something about this drink is really putting the relax into me.

It is a good split between milk, smooth and Earl Gray, a pretty neutral tea. Lightly sweetened and placed gingerly into a baby carton, this drink provides countless minutes of sipping pleasure. It's not bitter, not too sweet, and is a good blend of everything that you would want in a milk tea, if you have ever heard of milk tea before and craved it. Hey, I've had stranger cravings for things.

Like I said, this is a relaxing, smooth drink that is meant to be sipped on your front porch, back porch, beachfront property or anything in between. I am very relaxed drinking it. Either that or the fact that I'm listening to Das Racist "Relax."

After enjoying about half this can my ladyfriend came in the room and I handed it to her for a sip. She instantly asked if it was diet. I said yes, as I am not a known liar, but that it wasn't bad and overly diet. She took one sip and the look of utter revulsion crossed her face. I believe she then called it “diet death” and quickly handed it back to me.

My point here is that if you are not used to diet drinks you're not going to like this, or any zero calorie sweetened beverage. They are in an entire different universe from “normal” sodas. As much as I wish it wasn't true, it's a sad fact of life.

The opposite side of things is that once you become acclimated to these sweeteners, some of them (aka erythritol/stevia) aren't that bad. Sometimes for the sake of health you have to accept things that aren't initially attractive to your taste buds. For many people soda is a way of life, but those same people tend to end up overweight from consuming it far too much. This is a nice option for changing things. Yes, it does have a bit of a diet taste, but I assure you stevia is far better tasting then any of those other guys out there.

This is the most acceptable zero calorie orange soda I have ever tried. As a person who drinks far too many beverages you should probably take that as some sort of gospel.

In the world of apples there is a wide spectrum of tastes. There's your Fuji, the Gala, Golden Delicious not to mention Red Delicious, your Pink Lady, your Granny Smith and everything in between. Actually that's not a large array of flavors. It is kind of one central flavor with different degrees of tartness and sweetness.

There is one flavor that is missing from that whole wheelhouse though and that is the flavor of this soda. I get the general apple taste they are going for, but it's not much of an actual apple flavor. It's more the artificial flavor that we have been conditioned to associate with apple. Actually, the more I drink, the more I notice some semblance of a real apple flavor underneath the sugar and bubbles.

This isn't a bad soda by any means, but it's sweeter than anything I need to drink. It's much better than the apple-bubble gum flavor I was expecting due to the pinkness of the liquid. So, that's a plus for sure. Now I just want to tear into a nice Golden Delicious.

With a name like “Protein Zone” I expected nothing but grit and grossness, as there's a level of that to be expected in any drink with that specific functionality. The picture of the banana and coconut on the label also had me weary. Coconut water is just fine, but anything that tastes even remotely like toasted coconut belongs in the filth bin, with all of the bananas on this planet. Thankfully the orange and pineapple that are also pictured carry most, if not all, of the added flavor. Sure, there is a texture to this that makes me feel like I took this to the beach and left the cap off as people walked by and kicked a bit of sand into it, but hey I'm strangely okay with that. It has a nice tropical flavor that makes up for the weird texture.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. "Kids. Right?" They just don't get it. Perhaps it's me becoming a curmudgeon…€Ž of an old man but sometimes an unsweetened green tea is all I need to make me a happy man. What pleases me about it? The bitterness and the crispness of it. Jasmine is wonderful because it's a bit botanical. This is a dark green tea, which is code for a sencha which is pretty bitter in its own right and equally fantastic. I've had hot cups of the stuff and it's a strong and equally lovely cup. This is no different. The bitterness is set right in a great place where it's enjoyable to drink at any speed and also strong enough that purists can get what they want from it.

Kids do not enjoy unsweetened tea. Kids drink garbage. Maybe it's just American kids. I think I can speak on behalf of all people that used to be dumb American kids and say that I wish I drank more unsweetened tea as a child. I wasted my time with my mom's diet Pepsi for years. That being said, she pretty exclusively drinks unsweetened tea now so maybe we are all learning what East has known for hundreds of years.

Dear Japan,

Sorry we're so far behind.

Sincerely,
America

There is a dark secret in the Warner Brothers universe. Something the brothers in question never wanted to general public to know. You see, their beloved character Speedy Gonzales was in fact a junkie. Well I guess junkie isn't the appropriate word, as his vice was uppers, but he was indeed an addict. Do you think a mouse could really have all that energy and not be hopped up on something? I'm shocked we didn't realize it from the start. The mouse took all the pills and powders he could get his hands on if they would keep him on the move.

For his audition to become a cast member of Looney Tunes Gonzales was very nervous and he ended up drinking far too much coffee in the waiting room. As a result he was all jittery and talked way too fast. The higher ups loved the gimmick and he was hired on the spot. As a result he had to get all amped up on caffeine whenever he was shooting. All too soon the coffee wasn't enough and he moved on to over the counter caffeine pills. Before long he was making back alley deals with various sound and lighting guys. He just couldn't get enough of the sweet stuff and eventually it led to an early death of heart stoppage. His tomb stone had his catch phrase carved into it and a little yellow hat was placed upon it as his tiny little coffin was lowered into the earth. It was a sad day in Hollywood.

Decades later a Californian company has released an energy drink in honor of this star of the screen. If you ask me it's a bit tasteless to name an energy drink after a deceased speed freak. One thing that is not tasteless is the contents of the can. It is based on the delicacy from Mr. Gonzales' home country of Mexico. If you are not familiar it is a cinnamon spiced rice-milk beverage and it is delicious. Arriba did a great job with the flavor, and an even better job of it not tasting like a general energy drink below the classic taste. The weird taurine flavor is there if you search for it, but if someone poured a glass of this the drinker would have no idea that they were getting hyped up on taurine, guarana, ginseng and caffeine. It's something different for those of us who get tired of the energy drink flavor, but need the pick me up (and dislike coffee).

This homage may be in poor taste, but I can assure you that if he were alive and well today Speedy Gonzales would have stock in this company and a garage full of the stuff.

Number one: I don't know the definition of the word "savory." It seems that with food television, everyone is a regular Bobby Flay. Sure, some people are an Alex Guarnaschelli and some are a Yan but everyone is someone now and everyone has to use phrases they shouldn't know unless they serve time in a French kitchen. Calm down. They're just chicken fingers from a bag. Where is your stamp of approval from Guy Fieri that says you have a license to say the word "brunoise" or "papillote." I realize the humor in that statement, so don't give me guff for it.

This tea advertises a "savory-sweet herbal infusion." That seems like a bit much. This is not a heavy tea. I have had heavy tea. This is not it. This is a medium flavored tea with a lot of great ingredients, most that you really have to focus to find, much like a "Where's Waldo" book. To you overseas readers, I am aware that his name is "Wally." I know more than you give me credit for.

Mint? It's in there. Cocoa? Lightly in there. Don't think chocolate and don't think dark. Think about opening cocoa powder and smelling it once the dust settles from you vigorously opening the top. As for the other ingredients, you cats ain't pullin' your weight because I didn't taste any vanilla, licorice, or bitterness from the yerba mate.

It's a fine tea, don't get me wrong, but you just did the tea equivalent of fluffing up your resume. That's going to make your employer mad and make more work for you. People that talk about knowing Microsoft Word on their resume have zero job experience and people who know fifteen programming languages are recent college grads who have spent a day with each and aren't proficient in anything. You're welcome, Monster.com. I've cracked the code.

When I see the word masala on a drink, I get uneasy and nervous. I've had drinks with it before and the reaction with my taste buds was not a pleasant one. While I do love Indian cuisine, drinking it is not on my list of things I enjoy doing.

Lucky for my mouth and my stomach and my well being this was nothing like the previous drinks I have tried. It is simply an iced chai tea. Chai is not in it's normal state iced, and it takes a bit getting used to, but once you do, you're in for a nice ride. It's like it spent it's entire life driving around the US and then it decided to rent a car while it was on vacation in England. It was a crazy hectic first bit, but once it got used to being on the other side of the road, it was nothing but smooth sailing on it's own terms.

It's a slightly different chai than I'm used to, but the difference isn't huge. This is a nice spiced tea that luckily tastes nothing like chana masala, which is a delicious dish, but not through a straw. Never through a straw.

Look at that picture. It is as if the gods of the South have beamed a little bit of their heart and soul down on my rustic table. Ice. Sugar. Tea Period. Done and done, right?

Look. It's not normal that we review something like this that isn't purchasable in a store but they've got eight (current) locations and I'm pretty sure that this recipe is the same throughout the chain.

The only thing that this drink had that is optional is a big ol' slab o' lemon but this, this is what Sweet Tea is. Also, it's cheap, as it should be, and there are unlimited refills, as there should be. Happiness in a canning jar.

When I was a kid I used to go to my grandma's house where my uncle has tons of antiques, collectibles and vending equipment. Inside one of them he had Atomic Fireballs. I would take a handful of quarters or nickels and buy three or so of them and put them in a tall glass of water and just let them marinate and make spicy cinnamon water. Taking one sip of this took me back like twenty some-odd years to those days.

Unlike the concocted drink of my youth, this tea is unsweetened but whatever cinnamon and other spices they used cut right through the garbage and somehow create a naturally sweet and spicy drink. The cinnamon has a serious and delicious burn and there is quite a lot of orange taste in it thanks to the one-two punch of both orange peel and orange oil. There are a lot of other great flavors in there but you cannot distinguish them as much as the cinnamon and orange. A complete bonus to this is that one bag easily makes two cups of tea. I drank one pretty quickly and made another one to take on a walk with my dog. I knew the first one was strong enough that I could at least try to make a second and I was right.

I do enjoy that the same flavors today bring me as much happiness as they did when I was eight. Look, I never said I wasn't immature. No one is going to argue against that. I think that if eight year old me knew that I was drinking something as spicy as this, we would high-five and the world would implode on itself because you're not supposed to interact with the past, especially yourself. Everyone knows that.

I find it baffling that in the 4+ years that we have been doing Thirsty Dudes we have yet to review Yoo-Hoo. It's an American classic for cripes sake. When this was brought to our attention I started looking all over for a bottle or can of it, with zero luck. I feel like I would always come across it when I was out looking for other beverages to review, but when I'm finally in the market for it; zilch. I ended up settling for a pack of juice boxes. They aren't what I really wanted, because they aren't what I remember from my childhood, but I'll take what I can get.

As a child I would have been perfectly happy being in the Shining if when those elevator doors opened an ocean of Yoo-Hoo came pouring out instead of blood. I would have sucked up as much of it as I could until I puked. Then, I would have moved to a pukeless area of floor Yoo-Hoo and then licked that up. Sure attempted murder would be just around the corner, but who can care about a thing like that when you're covered in such a deliciously sweet chocolatey treat?

If you've never had Yoo-Hoo before I'm going to guess that you are under a certain age. When I was growing up this chocolate drink was all the rage. It's essentially a version of chocolate milk, even though the dairy in it comes from whey and caseinate (from milk) and nonfat dry milk. You know what they are right to call it a chocolate drink, but it is very similar to chocolate milk, without being as gross.

I really thought this would be fairly disgusting now that I am an adult, and I don't need cheap chocolate drinks in my life, but I have to admit, I still love it. There are way more ingredients in here than make me comfortable, but taste wise this is pretty darn good.

Okay sir, and what kind of oil did you want us to put into your car today? 51-50? Sir do you know anything about oil? I dare say you don't because that number has nothing to do with oil. I'm looking for a response along the lines of 10W-30 or 5W-20. The only two things I know about 51-50 is that I think they were a Canadian band in the 90's and apparently it's the California legal code for someone who is a danger to themselves and others. Oh yeah, it's also a Van Halen record, or Van-Hagar to be more precise.

You say that it's also the name of an energy drink that you partake in quite a bit? Well I've never heard of it, but I'll keep my eyes out for it. Working in this garage all day I need something to help me keep awake, and I'll tell you the coffee they have here is butt, if you'll excuse my French. Oh you have a can I can have? Well thank you sir. I mean I did just insult you, but I appreciate this.

Hmmm…€¦this is actually pretty good. It tastes different than Red Bull and it's hundreds of imitators. It has a berry heavy fruit punch style flavor, without tasting childish or cheap. It's a nice change up from the chemical citrus candy flavor that's the norm. This actually doesn't taste very chemical at all. You say it's an energy drink with a boost? What does that mean? Oh the usual suspects such as ginseng, taurine and caffeine are in here, but they also add maca and astragalus root to it? Well sir, I have no idea what those things are but it tastes good and if it gives me energy this will go on my shopping list. They are used to boost the immune system, strengthen vitality, improve sexual desire and raise resistance against fatigue? Well, this drink really does it all doesn't it?

This has been the weirded oil change I've ever given sir, but I appreciate the break and the drink. I really do need to know what kind of oil you would like me to use though.

Welcome to Coco Cafè where everything we serve is made with coconuts. Sure it limits what we have to offer and to be honest we have kind of a niche clientele, but we do what we do and if you don't like it you can get your nutrition elsewhere. Oh, you're going to be adventurous and stay, well la-ti-da Mr. Fancypants. May I suggest you try our coconut on a half shell? It's really just a coconut cut in half and a knife/fork combo. What can I say; our chef isn't very good in the kitchen. What he lacks in cooking, he sure makes up for in beverages though. Here try one of these coconut lattes on the house. Today he whipped up some vanilla ones, and they are a little bit of okay.

To make these drinks chef starts off with a mess of coconut water and adds a splash of reduced fat milk in it. I don't know why, I think he has some weird vendetta against vegans. I heard his fiancè ran off with an activist or something and now he's all jaded and bitter. Anyways, he then dumps a shot of espresso into that mixture, topping it all off with just a dash of vanilla extract. I personally could use a little bit more of the vanilla because it's kind of hard to find it under the espresso flavor. This really just tastes like a nicer coffee with a whole lot of coconut milk in it that has been moderately sweetened. Even though it's fairly simple it really does taste nice. It also makes coffee refreshing, which is an added bonus.

You know what? We should probably just close up this restaurant and go into the drink business. This whole exclusive coconut dish thing was a dumb idea from the get go.

Where as Filbert's doesn't do much except let down the folks of Chicago, Berghoff has nothing but city pride. Unlike it's competitor this does not taste like a generic soda water with just a hint of flavor. In fact this is pretty much as good as an orange soda is going to get without the substantial use of actual orange juice. You can totally guess what this tastes like. It's basically a higher end general orange soda. They use cane sugar to sweeten it though, so it already has a leg up on the competition. Besides the sweetener it just seems to take everything in the right direction.

They didn't create anything new with this soda, but they sure did a classic the right way.

Some kids like to eat fruit. Take Danny. Little Danny only eats fruit and it's becoming a problem. He, like most kids, hates vegetables but unlike other kids, he also hates candy. He just never got it. He loved fruit, though. He would come home from school and if there was a fruit he could reach, he would eat it. This made his mother both very concerned and very angry. She was concerned because what mother wouldn't be if her son was not eating vegetables. She was angry because fruit doesn't come cheap and as Danny got taller, she would come home to less and less fruit because he could reach higher shelves and eat everything.

One day, Danny's mom put her foot down and limited him to a certain amount of fruit per day and in exchange, she bought him Litl' Squirts fruit juice. She told him that there was no funny business in it and that it was just fruits and water. He agreed to these new terms and took a bottle with him to his room.

He took a sip and loved it. It was naturally sweetened with fruit and it was actually a good tasting drink. He could taste the blueberries as well as the apple. It was like there was a mixologist somewhere that felt the way he did about fruit and made a drink specifically for him.

His mother noticed that there was more and more fruit around the house and talked to Danny about it. Danny said that although he cut down on eating fruit, he increased his liquid fruit intake. Confused, his mom opened up the cupboard and noticed that there was only two bottles left of the case that she had bought. She was raising a monster, an inconsiderate fruit monster.