United States - 4098 Reviews

All my life I've been told I am 'nice'. Some have even said I'm too nice, whatever that means. Once after someone said I was too nice, I tried being an asshole but then I realized I don't know how. It's a problem I have. Pretty serious huh?

My instinct to try and not be nice when I saw the name of this soda. I thought I was going to be gross and allow me to easily do this, but then it had to be a good grape soda. Although, by good I mean it was much better than I expected it to be. It's really generic in taste, but for a run-of-the-mill grape soda it's pretty good. See! It's hard for me not to be nice. Even though this would be considered boring to most people, I still have to give it a nod. Oh well, I guess I'm cursed.

Come on, people. You haven't had this? I don't know how we haven't had it yet. We've been spending all our days drinking Black Mushroom sludge and enough Energy drinks to fuel the most depressed, tired country. So why the wait? We probably went to the store as individual, thirsty dudes, saw lemon Snapple, and though, "Oh yeah, someone already did this. Next." and moved right on down the line? You didn't come here for that, though. You came here for a review so here goes.

It's good. Now that they've replaced their lines with all natural product, every tastes better. You can taste the black tea, the sugar, the lemon and everything together is actually great. This is a wonderful lemon tea. Great balance, great price, great taste, and so on. Snapple, you've been in the game a long time and I would be upset that you couldn't have gotten it right in that amount of time.

Dear Mr. Zuckerberg,
It has come to our attention that people are becoming annoyed at the constant layout changes you've been making to The Facebook. I'm sorry, I was just told Justin Timberlake told you to drop the 'The' and it's now called just 'Facebook'. Anyways, if you don't do something drastic and awesome soon, I think people are going to jump ship and join Google + more rapidly. Sure you could clean up the layout, make privacy settings better, and a whole slew of other things, but I have a better idea!

An energy drink! Kids these days love energy drinks. Have you seen the energy drink sections at corner stores lately? It's bigger than the juice section! So you get this energy drink in the hands of kids and they will be so wired and hyperactive they will want to post a million photos and status updates.

Ready to hear the name I thought of? You're going to love it: Facedrink. Isn't it great!? What's that? Oh.... apparently there is already an energy shot called Facedrink. Its tag line is "the social drink". Hmmm, well great minds think alike I guess. Lemme give it a try. Not bad at all! Most energy shots are gross, but this one is pretty good. I already feel energized and ready to post about this on Facebook. See! It's working already and I'm not even the target demographic.

Sincerely,
Derek

A month ago I went to a show in Boston. It's a town I've always wanted to visit but never had the chance to until now. My friend Cory, who runs the blog Tokyo Hipster, lives there and suggested I check out Leo's Place because they had a good selection of root beer. He was definitely right. Their selection was pretty awesome for a hole in the wall diner. I wish I had more money at the time because there were a lot that I had never seen before.

I went for this one because it looked the most "small brew" of the bunch. I figured it would be the hardest to find this one again. I really was right because I can't even find a website for this company. I also was hoping that since it was a small company that it would be really interesting and stand out among the others. Sadly, this was not the case. It was a good root beer, but nothing to write home about. It didn't have much bite to it, nor any crazy flavors or aftertastes. It was just a simple root beer. Maybe that's what they were going for. If that's the case, job well done!

You've got your best suit on and you're ready to go. It's your big day. You've got an interview at a publishing house and this is your opportunity to get out of this town. You board the train into the city and when the snack cart rolls by, you are feeling thirsty and decide to grab something to drink. You scramble through your briefcase, which you bought just for this interview because, you know, big city people carry a suitcase. You scrounge enough money to buy a Sobe Lifewater and since you're aggressively trying to get a job, you decided on the black cherry dragonfruit. Dragons don't ask questions. Dragons are closers. Who gets to drink coffee? Coffee is for closers. A.B.C. Alec Baldwin is your new spirit guide for the rest of the long train ride into the city.

You drink this drink and it's good. It's light and has a bit of a bitter erytritol taste, but you're on your way to be an adult and you can deal with a little bitterness. For the first time with a dragonfruit drink, you can actually taste it, and that pleases you because you've only had one once at an exotic fruit taste test party at a rich friend's house. What a night. Kumquat, dragonfruit, pomegranate, and the like. A night you will not soon forget.

You take the last sip and when you throw the bottle in the garbage can, the cap comes loose and spills purple juice on your crisp white shirt. You can cover most of it in your suit coat so you decide that is all you can do and you go into the interview. You talk to the CEO of the company for over an hour and things are going great. As you stand to leave, you shake his hand and he takes one last look at you and sees the newly acquired stain. He asks you what it is and since you don't want to start off on a bad foot by lying to your potential boss, you tell him that you were enjoying a Sobe Lifewater and when you threw it out, the cap flew off, spilling some on your shirt. He laughed and took his jacket off. Under the jacket lied over a dozen stains. "This is mustard and this one is ketchup. Over here we've got both black and blue ink. On the back, you've got chocolate and here on my arm is pizza. You're going to fit in great. I'll see you next Monday. Congratulations."

You've worked hard all day. You endured an entire triathlon and you're not even tired. You almost gave up when it got to the running part, but you stuck it out. You're a champ. You deserve a treat. How about a nice organic sports drink to re-fuel. I know that took a lot out of you. In the past this company hasn't treated you very well, but with this drink they made up for it. It tastes like orange juice and passion fruit juiced mixed up with a little bit of sea salt mixed in to replace your electrolytes. It's one of the better sports drinks you've had, due to it being all-natural. Now it's time to get up and cut the grass. You've already wasted most of the afternoon watching that triathlon on CNN.

If drinks, the liquid themselves could be played on the radio, this would be a Top 40 hit. Much like Beyonce, this drink is approachable by all, doesn't offend anyone, and is safe with kids and adults alike. Unlike Beyonce, I don't want to take this home more than a few times. It's very...standard. A bit watered down, which I like, but it's nothing to call yo' mama about. Why did I channel Wilmer Valderrama in that last sentence? Mostly because I can do whatever I want in this text area. This tastes like orange mangos. If that's what you want, wicked. You're set. Buy a case of this guy.

I guess it takes a strong man, or an idiot to turn down a drink that aims to quench everyone. This drink is organic. It's as good for you as juice can be, and it tastes exactly like it's supposed to. So why am I "dissing" it? Well, unlike Vince Vaughn, this site puts me in a position To "Dis" Or "Give Props" to drinks. This drink is just too darn easy.

I didn't even have to open this to determine what it would taste like. The can is obviously trying to replicate Monster energy drinks so I was guessing that the insides were as well. I assumed correctly because this tastes just like the low carb Monster: melted candy with a diet energy drink aftertaste. Not bad per se, but not groundbreaking. This should try and find its own energy identity and stop trying to emulate one of the best out there.

Have you heard, Ghostbusters has gone "green." For years they were able to get around all of the E.P.A. laws because they were the only company in the game of keeping NYC's ghosts (I wonder if they were in the inspiration for the
Sonic Youth record) off the streets and in a containment unit where they belong. These days the laws have gotten stricter and they were forced to give in.

This one was Egon's brainchild. He teamed up with Gatorade and worked out a formula that would convert all of their leftover ectoplasm into a tropical tasting sports drink. He came up with the idea when he noticed that Louis Tully always got a second wind whenever he got "slimed." He's normally an accountant/lawyer and is not even close to being in good shape so dragging his proton pack around the city really put a drain on him. He would be dead on his feet and then without fail some ghost would slime him and within seconds he'd be up and running again. After a few quick tests Egon realized that ectoplasm was really 67% electrolytes. He isolated an isotope or two and before he knew it he had a tasty drink on his hands. The only downfall was that it remained a toxic looking green. Let's face it though a lot of the Gatorade flavors are fairly neon in color.

Egon, who is ever the health nut, sweetened the newly transformed ectoplasm with sucralose to try and keep the overweight citizens of New York in check. Gatorade put up a stink, claiming that it tasted too diet, so he ended up adding some sucrose to it as well. The result is a light fruit punch tasting drink that only has the faintest tinge of a diet flavor too it. Now hopefully the public won't freak out when they realize they are essentially drinking ghost poop.

On a recent trip to the tropics, Shawn wanted to taste all that the tropics to offer. He ate many things in, around, and out of pineapples. He ate a lot of fresh fish such as grouper and a red snapper that was the same size as his two-year-old son. He devoured tons of delicious fruits like mangoes, grapefruits, lemons, and limes. He even ate a rather gluttonously large bowl of turtle soup, which he was on the fence about but tried and liked more than his vegetarian wife would have liked. On the final day, he went to a pig roast and after that, he was ready to come home to Minneapolis.

On the plane ride home, he felt a bit of a void. Yes, he had done as the people of the land had done, but he felt that he didn't get a well-rounded taste of the tropics. If he could blend the culture, food, and drink up into a very good, industrial blender, he could have what he desired. When he got home, he went to work the next day, still feeling that hole that he didn't get. A few days later, a package arrived on his doorstep. He hadn't ordered anything except for Pet Shop Boys Please and this was too large to be that. He opened the box and there was a note and a box. It read:
Shawn,
We thank you for your recent trip to the topics. We notice that you did quite a lot of activities and we appreciate you using your time to its fullest extent. We have sent you a package of Phix in the Tropic flavor so you can drink your vacation whenever you want.
Thanks again,
Joe the travel agent

Shawn opened up the package and quickly but carefully poured the powder into a leftover bottle of water. As he drank it, he remembered all the good things about the trip he had just returned from. No, it didn't taste like fish, turtles, coconut, and pig. It tasted fruity, a bit citrus-y, and as an extra added bonus, was an energy drink to get him out of whatever rut he was in. He was smart to have put it in a resealable water bottle because shakable, mixable stuff fell to the bottom and he had to mix it up. It kept it interactive and he was fine with it. He was happy with the taste and now, rather than pictures, he could carry around little packs of his vacation and not have to show disinterested people pictures of him eating a swordfish.

Today a slew of us went up to Letchworth State Park to enjoy yet another gorgeous day. We enjoyed the sights, sounds, and smells of everything nature. In addition, there was also a craft show, which I didn't give two rips about until Jay freaked out because some dude from his past was selling homemade root beer, sarsaparilla, birch beer, and (the legal equivalent of) Cheerwine. Also, I got a blackened chicken po-boy that was pretty darn outstanding.

On our way to "the Grand Canyon of the East" and some waterfalls, I saw the following automobile:

• 1986 Bertone


• Mid-90's Miata


• Glistening black Porsche Cayman


• Bentley Continental


• Triumph Spitfire Mark IV


• A new, brown Mercedes E-class coupe, which couldn't have been owned by a nicer man.

Nice, right? Yeah. You know that's night. Can you tell where my priorities are? I just told you that I went to a state park and told you about cars that I saw? I've got my interests and you've got yours. I love cars. I would love to do something with cars later in my life because no way do I see myself doing web development until the day I die.

So I did not drink a whole lot when I was there. I had a small, twenty-pound weight strapped to the front of me in the shape of a small boy and that didn't make matters any better. After spending all day there and only sippin' on Jay's drinks that came in a refillable, tin can, I didn't have much. Seriously, every drinking fountain gave me one-third the water I so desperately desired. When I got home, it was an issue of quantity so I grabbed a tallboy, threw it in the fridge, waited an hour, and then grabbed it and went.

I made the right decision. This is a good green tea and honey iced tea. Like many other drinks like this that don't need to be named, you lose quite a bit of the green tea, but there is a really good honey taste to this drink. Cintron also performed some magic and managed to keep the calories down to a respectful amount. Drinking this whole can, which I am not far from doing, would rack up only 210 calories and although that is a lot, 23.5 ounces is also a lot. It's not like I didn't work it off at the park, so I'm fine with my decisions.

Energy drinks are getting too extreme these days. Between the Redline review Derek did yesterday and this I think one of us is going to have a heart attack.

I have a bad habit of drinking something first and then reading everything on the packaging after I'm done. Luckily I did not do that with this because there are a bunch of warnings on it to read the label before use. It also says "Not for sale to minors" on it a bunch of times, so you know things are serious. I feel like teenagers are the prime market for most energy drinks, so when they exclude them you know it has to be powerful. The bottle informs me not to drink more than 6oz in an eight-hour period. I think I accidentally drank about 8, and I sure can feel it. Like to the point where I kind of want to throw up to purge my body of the poison.

As far as taste goes, it tastes like a diet Gatorade or something of that ilk. Not a flavor I'm fond of, but what do you expect with a diet drink. It doesn't have as much of a "energy chemical" taste as I would have expected seeing as it's ridiculously concentrated.

I can't really get behind this drink. When I drink an energy drink I do it for a little push to help me stay awake, or if I'm going to be doing strenuous activity. I like to not notice it much. This is jitter central. I wish I could undo drinking so much.

I was scared to drink this. I was recommended to try this out by my friend Mike Soto, because he said it was the most intense energy drink he has ever had. Challenge accepted! I finally came across it in a gas station in Bloomington, IN. I was feeling pretty tired before I started drinking this so we'll see how it goes.

Observation one: It's clear and non-carbonated. This is unusual among energy drinks. I've had plenty of non- carbonated ones, but I don't recall any clear drinks. It's nice because it means that they didn't add any unnecessary coloring.

Observation two: Terrifying reviews online. I came across this Amazon review that was titled 'You might die!'. This freaked me out a bit. I have definitely had my fair share of energy drinks over the years, but only once has my heart actually hurt from them. It was when I stayed up all night before an 8-hour shift at work and I ended up drinking five energy drinks in the course of 12 hours. It was not a pleasant experience and I have never done anything that stupid again.

Observation three: There is a gauge on the side of the bottle. Yes, to make sure you don't drink too much in one sitting (you're only recommended to drink half of the 8oz bottle at a time), they have a gauge to let you see where the drink level is at. On top of this, there are warnings ALL OVER the bottle. They all say "CAUTION, read label before drinking". I have drank about 1oz so far and I'm already really energized.

Observation four: It tastes good! Really good actually. It doesn't taste like an energy drink at all, especially not a diet one. It's like a slightly thicker berry vitamin water with more flavor. Trying to determine the flavor I ended up drinking another 2oz. Uh oh...

Observation five: This drink is intense!! In the name of science (reviewing drinks is a science, right?), I decided I needed to drink the entire serving of 4 oz to properly review this. Let's just say, this REALLY works. I feel more awake than I ever have been in my entire life. The term "hyper aware" comes to mind. The way I feel right now is what I imagine cats feel like when they see something flying in the air and their heads jerk back and forth really quickly. This is easily the most effective energy drink I have ever consumed. At the same time, I would be terrified to drink this whole bottle in one sitting.

An open letter to pears everywhere:

Dear pears,
I'm sorry that I crap on you all the time. No, not literally. That would be a sight to see, though, wouldn't it? Me sitting over a bushel of pears, letting them have it. No, I am sorry that I call you "crappy apples" all the time. I complain, but it's really my way of saying that I want you to be better. Creative criticism, if you will. I have just tried your collaboration with the apples of Fuji and now I've got to say, you two are great together. A dynamic duo, like Batman and Robin or any other superhero and sidekick. This drink is sweet and apple come out and pear comes out and everyone plays together in the flowered plains called my mouth. It's not too sweet and although this is technically a "diet" drink, the Erythritol isn't overpowering and leaves me with a cool sweetness, as it often does.

In closing, you have done a great job with your friend, Dr. Fuji Appleton. I am sorry for all the guff I give you. You do have many appreciative friends who enjoy you, and it's one of those "you can't win them all." scenarios. I am one man and am clearly outnumbered. I just wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt with this drink because you truly are amazing.

Slime? No. Not quite. Puree? No. Slime? Maybe now that I've ruled out puree. Oh, hello. I didn't see you standing there with that dumb hat on and creepy mustache. What am I doing? Trying to find the right way to describe the viscosity of this drink. It's thicker than a standard, run-of-the-mill liquid. It's meant for carb'n you up before a session of bulkin' out. Bulkin' out. I like that. This is not as sweet as you might expect. Flavor-wise, it's not terrible. It's a bit like a syrupy melted orange Freezepop. It doesn't have that gritty, protein taste. No, it's not a protein drink, but you know how those supplement drinks can be.

I know that some people go to work out and then come home and slam their weight in spaghetti to carb-o-load. Well now you can carb-o-load and think of Florida. Better? I thought so. Good luck in your endeavors as a rapist or child pornographer. That mustache is going to get you arrested within four hours. I guarantee it.

Day two of candy based sodas. Jelly Belly came through with something that turned out to be delicious. Jolly Rancher, not so much. First off as a hard candy Jolly Ranchers are gross. I know a lot of people enjoy them, but they rub my taste buds the wrong way. The soda didn't do much better. What can you really expect when the bottle happily boasts, "artificially flavored soda." I like the word artificial as far away from anything I'm consuming as possible.

When you open the bottle the scent of cough syrup hangs heavy in the room. I blame the medicinal companies for ruining cherry for me for years, then I had some drinks flavored with actual cherry juice and I realized that it's just the artificial garbage that they ruined. I personally am okay with that. It's helps increase the gap between them and myself.

This doesn't even taste like store brand cherry pop. It's like they took a syrup and didn't cut it properly. It tastes so heavy and if that consistency had a flavor it is present in this drink.

I say stay away from this unless you're attempted to make a child not like soda by associating it with medicine.

"Ahh" is the sound you make when you drink this. I picture myself swimming through space and all of these sugary, canned and bottled juices and pops coming at me, slowly. It's space after all. So they're all coming at me, from all angles and I'm just pushing them effortlessly into oblivion with little to no effort since there is no gravity in space. I am also wearing a jet pack to get me from the spaceship to wherever it is I'm going. Probably the International Space Station, which has a water slide, everything is in a bubble, and looks like the inside of BioDome, the movie featuring the quasi-lovable Pauly Shore.

So all of these drinks are coming at me and I'm swatting them away like flies. All of a sudden, this Anteadote oolong tea comes towards me and it's like I met the love of my life. I (stupidly) hold my breath, lift up my space visor which, yes, is oil spill colored like awful gas station sunglasses. I take a big gulp and I say "Ahh" because I didn't need all those sugary beverages, literally, in my space. I made the right decision, picked a couple more from the seemingly infinite amount which are being propelled at me from what I can only guess is a grocery truck that made a wrong turn at Albuquerque and ended up crashing into an asteroid and spilling its cargo all over space. I go back to my space hut. Put my bushel of drinks on the counter, and think, this is great. It's bitter, natural, and has a bold flavor. It's not like I've never had one like this before, but it's good to switch it up every once in a while.

You know when you have weird connections to things and no matter how hard you try to disassociate them? I have one with Rockstar energy drinks. Anytime I see one of their cans, "Rock Superstar" by Cypress Hill pops into my head. Not just a quirky "oh remember the 6 months that song was played everywhere?" type of thing. Nope, it starts playing in my head starting with the chorus. I can honestly say it's been over 7 years since I have heard that song. My brain is an iron trap for music and in cases like this, I hate it so much!

So when I grabbed this can from the gas station, the song started playing in my head as per usual. Luckily, "Till the World Ends" by Britney Spears was playing inside the store and I was able to drown out Cypress Hill. (Yes, I like catchy dance pop like Britney Spears, so what?). Upon opening it I remembered the other reason I don't like Rockstar energy drinks: they are gross. This is just generic citrus flavor with a really strong energy drink taste. I've lucked out and haven't had many gross energy drinks lately so I forgot how bad that energy drink taste can be. After a few sips, I could feel my throat swelling up a little. It's as if my throat is talking to my tongue and wants me to stop drinking it. Gladly!

Without. The name of this drink means without. They mean without calories, but I think a lot of people would take it as they could do without this drink at all. That is because most people have no time for diet drinks. Let's talk frankly here diet is pretty gross. You have to condition yourself to alternatives to sugar. It's as if you're basically killing the taste buds that register the grossness of it. I was in the anti-diet drink camp for most of my life, but in the pursuit of reviewing everything ever I've grown accustomed to them. As a result I do not fall in the "sans this drink" crowd. It's actually a decent diet soda. It's nice and light. It does have a diet flavor too it, but it's not as overpowering as it could have been with an artificial sweetener. Rebiana is way better than aspartame or sucralose. It's natural which means that there is a chance you won't get cancer from it. No one likes cancer. Even cancer doesn't like other cancer, let alone itself.

The packaging makes this drink look like it's going to be ice cold. Like when mints have that weird coldness to it. I didn't expect it to be minty, but I hoped it would have the same freezing effect. It ended up just tasting like a regular diet energy drink. When Dan first opened it and took a sip he said it was pretty gross. I expected the worst, but it tasted fairly average to me. Underneath all of that chemical energy it took a second for my taste buds to register that it was even diet.

In the end this is one of the best diet energy drinks that I've tried. With no sugar or calories it's also probably one of the "healthiest" I've ever had as well. To be fair neither of those are really that crazy of achievements.