United States - 4098 Reviews

When I was a kid I used to go to my grandma's house where my uncle has tons of antiques, collectibles and vending equipment. Inside one of them he had Atomic Fireballs. I would take a handful of quarters or nickels and buy three or so of them and put them in a tall glass of water and just let them marinate and make spicy cinnamon water. Taking one sip of this took me back like twenty some-odd years to those days.

Unlike the concocted drink of my youth, this tea is unsweetened but whatever cinnamon and other spices they used cut right through the garbage and somehow create a naturally sweet and spicy drink. The cinnamon has a serious and delicious burn and there is quite a lot of orange taste in it thanks to the one-two punch of both orange peel and orange oil. There are a lot of other great flavors in there but you cannot distinguish them as much as the cinnamon and orange. A complete bonus to this is that one bag easily makes two cups of tea. I drank one pretty quickly and made another one to take on a walk with my dog. I knew the first one was strong enough that I could at least try to make a second and I was right.

I do enjoy that the same flavors today bring me as much happiness as they did when I was eight. Look, I never said I wasn't immature. No one is going to argue against that. I think that if eight year old me knew that I was drinking something as spicy as this, we would high-five and the world would implode on itself because you're not supposed to interact with the past, especially yourself. Everyone knows that.

I find it baffling that in the 4+ years that we have been doing Thirsty Dudes we have yet to review Yoo-Hoo. It's an American classic for cripes sake. When this was brought to our attention I started looking all over for a bottle or can of it, with zero luck. I feel like I would always come across it when I was out looking for other beverages to review, but when I'm finally in the market for it; zilch. I ended up settling for a pack of juice boxes. They aren't what I really wanted, because they aren't what I remember from my childhood, but I'll take what I can get.

As a child I would have been perfectly happy being in the Shining if when those elevator doors opened an ocean of Yoo-Hoo came pouring out instead of blood. I would have sucked up as much of it as I could until I puked. Then, I would have moved to a pukeless area of floor Yoo-Hoo and then licked that up. Sure attempted murder would be just around the corner, but who can care about a thing like that when you're covered in such a deliciously sweet chocolatey treat?

If you've never had Yoo-Hoo before I'm going to guess that you are under a certain age. When I was growing up this chocolate drink was all the rage. It's essentially a version of chocolate milk, even though the dairy in it comes from whey and caseinate (from milk) and nonfat dry milk. You know what they are right to call it a chocolate drink, but it is very similar to chocolate milk, without being as gross.

I really thought this would be fairly disgusting now that I am an adult, and I don't need cheap chocolate drinks in my life, but I have to admit, I still love it. There are way more ingredients in here than make me comfortable, but taste wise this is pretty darn good.

Okay sir, and what kind of oil did you want us to put into your car today? 51-50? Sir do you know anything about oil? I dare say you don't because that number has nothing to do with oil. I'm looking for a response along the lines of 10W-30 or 5W-20. The only two things I know about 51-50 is that I think they were a Canadian band in the 90's and apparently it's the California legal code for someone who is a danger to themselves and others. Oh yeah, it's also a Van Halen record, or Van-Hagar to be more precise.

You say that it's also the name of an energy drink that you partake in quite a bit? Well I've never heard of it, but I'll keep my eyes out for it. Working in this garage all day I need something to help me keep awake, and I'll tell you the coffee they have here is butt, if you'll excuse my French. Oh you have a can I can have? Well thank you sir. I mean I did just insult you, but I appreciate this.

Hmmm…€¦this is actually pretty good. It tastes different than Red Bull and it's hundreds of imitators. It has a berry heavy fruit punch style flavor, without tasting childish or cheap. It's a nice change up from the chemical citrus candy flavor that's the norm. This actually doesn't taste very chemical at all. You say it's an energy drink with a boost? What does that mean? Oh the usual suspects such as ginseng, taurine and caffeine are in here, but they also add maca and astragalus root to it? Well sir, I have no idea what those things are but it tastes good and if it gives me energy this will go on my shopping list. They are used to boost the immune system, strengthen vitality, improve sexual desire and raise resistance against fatigue? Well, this drink really does it all doesn't it?

This has been the weirded oil change I've ever given sir, but I appreciate the break and the drink. I really do need to know what kind of oil you would like me to use though.

Welcome to Coco Cafè where everything we serve is made with coconuts. Sure it limits what we have to offer and to be honest we have kind of a niche clientele, but we do what we do and if you don't like it you can get your nutrition elsewhere. Oh, you're going to be adventurous and stay, well la-ti-da Mr. Fancypants. May I suggest you try our coconut on a half shell? It's really just a coconut cut in half and a knife/fork combo. What can I say; our chef isn't very good in the kitchen. What he lacks in cooking, he sure makes up for in beverages though. Here try one of these coconut lattes on the house. Today he whipped up some vanilla ones, and they are a little bit of okay.

To make these drinks chef starts off with a mess of coconut water and adds a splash of reduced fat milk in it. I don't know why, I think he has some weird vendetta against vegans. I heard his fiancè ran off with an activist or something and now he's all jaded and bitter. Anyways, he then dumps a shot of espresso into that mixture, topping it all off with just a dash of vanilla extract. I personally could use a little bit more of the vanilla because it's kind of hard to find it under the espresso flavor. This really just tastes like a nicer coffee with a whole lot of coconut milk in it that has been moderately sweetened. Even though it's fairly simple it really does taste nice. It also makes coffee refreshing, which is an added bonus.

You know what? We should probably just close up this restaurant and go into the drink business. This whole exclusive coconut dish thing was a dumb idea from the get go.

Where as Filbert's doesn't do much except let down the folks of Chicago, Berghoff has nothing but city pride. Unlike it's competitor this does not taste like a generic soda water with just a hint of flavor. In fact this is pretty much as good as an orange soda is going to get without the substantial use of actual orange juice. You can totally guess what this tastes like. It's basically a higher end general orange soda. They use cane sugar to sweeten it though, so it already has a leg up on the competition. Besides the sweetener it just seems to take everything in the right direction.

They didn't create anything new with this soda, but they sure did a classic the right way.

Some kids like to eat fruit. Take Danny. Little Danny only eats fruit and it's becoming a problem. He, like most kids, hates vegetables but unlike other kids, he also hates candy. He just never got it. He loved fruit, though. He would come home from school and if there was a fruit he could reach, he would eat it. This made his mother both very concerned and very angry. She was concerned because what mother wouldn't be if her son was not eating vegetables. She was angry because fruit doesn't come cheap and as Danny got taller, she would come home to less and less fruit because he could reach higher shelves and eat everything.

One day, Danny's mom put her foot down and limited him to a certain amount of fruit per day and in exchange, she bought him Litl' Squirts fruit juice. She told him that there was no funny business in it and that it was just fruits and water. He agreed to these new terms and took a bottle with him to his room.

He took a sip and loved it. It was naturally sweetened with fruit and it was actually a good tasting drink. He could taste the blueberries as well as the apple. It was like there was a mixologist somewhere that felt the way he did about fruit and made a drink specifically for him.

His mother noticed that there was more and more fruit around the house and talked to Danny about it. Danny said that although he cut down on eating fruit, he increased his liquid fruit intake. Confused, his mom opened up the cupboard and noticed that there was only two bottles left of the case that she had bought. She was raising a monster, an inconsiderate fruit monster.

Oh Slim Fast you were the bane of everyone who enjoyed sweets in the 80s. Okay that's pushing it, but those of us who were kids at the time hated you. Our parents (my mother) bought them to try and help them to lose weight and the promise of a wonderful chocolate drink led countless of us to steal them for our own glory. Unfortunately for underdeveloped taste buds all around the country those beverages were not the treats we wanted at all. Everything about them tasted wrong. I'm assuming it was due to some sort of artificial sweetener. Ugh.

Here I sit, more than 25 years later and I just did not want to drink this, even though it's my duty as a Thirsty Dude. Sometimes you just have to suck it up. That is exactly what I did, literally, and this is much better than I ever remember. Perhaps it's my more refined palate at a later age, and perhaps it's that they use sugar along with sucralose to sweeten it. It tastes like a melted vanilla milkshake with some protein in it, and it has that consistency as well. It's a bit on the thick side, but it's not all chalky from the protein, so I'll take it. Everything in here does a good job to mask the taste of the sucralose, which was my main concern with this drink. Sucralose has overthrown aspartame as the new king of hell.

The scene is the Middle Ages. The life expectancy is somewhere around 40 years, as long as you can make it through early childhood without catching some sort of plague. Think of it, people had mid life crises' when they were 20. Strange times indeed. There also were no sewer systems, so everything smelled like human waste and life was just generally terrible for peasants. To combat all of the disease and pestilence floating around people took to herbal remedies and more often than would probably be admitted, the black arts. The thing is that what they considered the work of the devil, we consider science and an everyday occurrence.

Just picture it some schlep is looking for a way to help him stay awake, and give him an energy boost while he's toiling away at some task all day that ensures his family well being (or at least continued existence). He buys a magic potion that does just that. He thinks he's consorting with evil spirits, so this gives him a moral conundrum, but the potion works marvelously. Yeah, that guy was just drinking coffee. He more than likely could have been burned at the stake for practicing witchcraft or some such thing, simply for enjoying a few sips of liquid caffeine. Sad, strange times they were.

I don't know if this is where Black Medicine got their name, but I'd like to think it was. They certainly have one of the best labels I've ever seen. It's dark, but easily readable with nice silver lettering and some rad embossment.

I thought this was going to be cold brewed coffee, as the majority (if not all) of the fancy, pre-bottled coffees we've reviewed have been. It is in fact brewed hot (in small batches). Now neither Mike nor I are coffee experts by any means. We don't hate the stuff, but it's rare that we drink it. To me it tasted like like a strong cup of iced coffee (actually the only way I really ever drink the stuff). I had a couple of friends taste it and one said it tasted like he left his coffee in his car and drank it at a later time. My coffee snob girlfriend says it tastes old, but she says that about every bottled coffee. I will say that it tastes less bitter than any other black coffee I have drunk, so that is a plus. I actually don't mind it at all. I had expected to take a few sips and then pass it off to someone else to finish, but I've found myself hoarding the rest after they each took a sip. It looks like Black Medicine is doing something right.

Flirt with the darkness as you get your morning fix my friends.

Alright, King. I mean no disrespect but you've gotten away with literal murder and I haven't said anything. This, though, this is the straw that broke the camel's back. You have been known to provide us, your faithful townspeople with some of the most unique teas at very reasonable prices. Some of them are good and for that, we thank you. This one, I have given it multiple attempts at approval though and it just doesn't deserve to be continually made. Now look, it's not just me that thinks this way but I'm not going to throw anyone under the bus over it. It's just not a good tea. It always tastes good in the beginning but then quickly and unfortunately tastes burnt or something. You can tell that there are some good flavors in there. Spicy? I think that might be pushing it. It is only labeled as "spice black tea" so that's alright. The cinnamon wins when it comes to the spice wars going on in this cup but as a whole the battle is lost because as a whole, it's not a good tea.

King, we are very faithful to you and if I didn't spend all day working in the tea fields, I would let this slide, but I don't want any more of my time wasted on such a non-fantastical tea. You deserve better if you're going to put your name on it. That's my honest opinion and I hope that you value it as such? You don't? Well I guess it's a classic beheading for me. Classic King Condrell. Always decapitating people that voice their opinions. Seems a bit antiquated since it's 1994 but whatever. We chose to live here and we chose to live this way. Sorry guys. I tried. Tell me wife I love her.

For those of you with weak stomachs, aloe may not be the drink for you. Why? Well it's chunky and I know how you are all prone to throwing up as soon as something hits your "hangy ball." You gag when you brush your teeth and since this is mint and has chunks, you're destined for Upchuck College. Throw-Up U? I don't know which I'd rather attend.

For those of you who can take a little chunkage when you down drinks, you may have something you will like. This has everything you might want, right? Refreshing mint? Some chunks to remind you that something is actually going down your gullet, and green tea, which considered it's sweetened and soiled with chunks, not too bad. The mint, which look, it's mint and does what it's supposed to, cools things down a little bit too much on the green tea side leaving you with a fraction of what bitterness I may desire out of even a sweetened green tea. That being said, not the worst mint drink I've had. Not the worst aloe drink I've had. Not the worst green tea drink I've had.

All in, I'd give it a three out of five and since that's what I do, that's what I'll do.

Aright folks, we're getting killed out there. This match is halfway over and we're down by a good amount, like a really decent amount. Like I'm almost ashamed to be leading you rag tag bunch of so and sos. Haven't you ever seen a movie? The miscreant underdogs are always supposed to win the big game so everyone can cheer and learn a valuable life lesson. The only reason I agreed to come on as couch was so I would have that moment. We'd come back for the win and everything would be moving in slow motion. Little Edwin with the limp, thick glasses and terrible fashion sense would be the one who scored the point and everyone would lift him up. Seriously though Edwin, did you steal those clothes from a 200 year old corpse? This was supposed to be a cathartic moment for all of us, and it looks like it's just not going to happen unless you change your ways.

I'm not going to lie kids, during most of that last period I wasn't even here. You were doing so terrible that I went to Starbucks to get some coffee. While I was there I saw that they have changed their brand of juice they carry. This one jumped out at me. Literally someone bumped into the display and it came flying right out at my face. Lucky for me I have such good reflexes. As this bottle of juice was flying at my face all I could see was “DEFENSE UP,” and I knew what I had to do. I dropped way more money than any of you are worth and I bought you each a bottle. Drink it up and we'll use the magical powers within to win this game. I'll be fair and tell you that our offense has been doing fairly decent, but our defense is lousing it up every chance they get. This mixture of oranges, pineapples, mangos, apples and acerola cherries will make sure that does not continue. I had one in the car on the way back to the game and I have to say it tastes like someone took some of the best orange juice this world has ever seen and upped it a notch. The orange is the main flavor by far, but the other fruits mix together to create a taste that complements it perfectly. It's so darn smooth I can't even handle it. It's juice the way it's supposed to be cold pressed with no sugar added. There's even some pulp in there, which makes it even better. It truly is the evolution of juice and it will evolve your playing as well. So, let's go out there and kick some butt, so we can all have our cinematic moment!


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Okay you guys, that was terrible. You did even worse than you did in the first half. Of course the magic powers didn't work Edwin, there are no magic powers, this is just some amazing juice, nothing more. I just thought that my little pep talk would give you the confidence you needed to win and at the end I would tell you it was in you all along and the juice had no special powers. I need to stop trying to live in movie land.

Mrs. Mulvaney we are happy to announce that you have won a shopping spree. We understand that you are a 68 year old mother of four children who have left the nest to have families of your own. We also have down here that you are diabetic and that you have a passion for kitten sweaters. After compiling all of that data, we have decided to grant you a seven minute shopping spree at Home Depot. It seemed like the most fitting establishment on our list for your lifestyle. Remember to grab all of that lumber you'll need for those renovations you would like to do to your house, if you didn't live in a third floor apartment.

By our calculations your frail frame should be able to push a shopping cart that weights about 300lbs. So make sure you stock up on power tools while you have the time! By law we are required to furnish you with a beverage during your spree, as to avoid any allegations of neglect in case you die from exhaustion/dehydration. Our team of specialists has determined this bottle of kiwi kumquat sparkling water will be perfect for the job. Oh look at that, it's sweetened with stevia, so you also won't have a diabetic episode because of it. Our specialists really are on their game here.

This thing actually tastes pretty good for being diet as well. I think I might have to contact the head office and have them send me a case. It smells more like kiwi than it tastes like that magical green fruit, but it still has a nice general tropical fruit taste to it. It's rare that you come across kumquats in a drink, but I'm all for it. It's like a tiny fancy orange, with a slightly different taste. I much prefer them to the strawberry that normally accompanies kiwi. Overall it's light, it's fruity and the stevia doesn't make you feel like you're poisoning yourself just to lower your sugar intake. I mean sure it taste more like stevia than any fruit, but that is the nature of the diet game.

Now Mrs. Mulvaney, take off that house coat and grab some comfortable shoes. You're got a store to ransack.

Oh Hansen's. You have done it again. You've conquered pop and now you have done nothing short of it with this juice. You've even cleverly disguised it as some sort of very Spanish drink with the fonts and colors and sun stuff. You've got it all under control. Oh, how is the taste? You nailed it. I'm telling you. If I didn't not like mango for the texture, I would easily have been converted. This is sweetened with cane sugar so it leaves me with a clean mango taste that doesn't taste candied or fake at all. It's quite refreshing to boot. I have read that mango is originally from India and the East but I think if the people who first tasted them tasted this, they would wonder a couple things. One would be what witchcraft you used to get their fruit in your bottle. The other would be that it tastes very good and then a whole rip in the fabric of time would happen and we would all never have mango. Please, for Jay more so than I. Do not go back in time and give bottles of this to the original harvesters of mango so that we may enjoy mango today.

Do I need more protein in my diet? I don't know let me check the chart. I seem to be doing alright on fiber, attitude, body mass index, those are all alright. What else do we have here? Ice cream intake is low, oil pressure is good, Altitude is at an acceptable level, and the water level is up to the line. I don't see...oh here it is. Protein. Yeah, protein level is slightly below the line. Can't I just eat a chicken sandwich or something? No? Why not? They don't sell any here? This is a restaurant. What restaurant doesn't sell anything with chicken in it? No meat? At all? That's fine. I guess I'll have a salad then. No salad? You're a restaurant, right? You know what a restaurant is, right? What do you have here? Just drinks? Fine. I'll just look at the menu. Whatever. Whatever you have. Why did I come here? Didn't they have a menu outside that I could have looked at? I'm telling you, Times Square has changed. They were right?

Oh, thanks. What is this? Oh, a protein drink with honey in it? Seems like something you just whipped up. Thanks. You know what, though? It just tastes like milk with honey in it, which in itself is mildly refreshing. It's a protein drink, which is surprising because it doesn't taste like there is a bucket of sand in it. It's actually not bad. I would have enjoyed that chicken sandwich that I kind of developed a taste for but this is a close, I don't know, eighth, maybe ninth.

I don't know. That's a good question. Would I recommend this restaurant? You're going to hate me for saying this, but I'm still not convinced that this is an actual restaurant. How do you make ends meet? This place is like two thousand square feet and one block from Times Square. It's got to cost like ten thousand dollars a month to be here. You've got to be in cahoots with someone. Oh, that hit a nerve. No, look, I can see myself out. Thank you for the drink. I left a nice tip.

There are the goods in this world and there are the evils. There is the black and the white; the yin and the yang. There are the stances and items in the world that are strong parallels and polar opposites. It's hard to live with extremes and most things fall somewhere in the middle, in the grays. I would never call this drink strictly a tea, nor would I call it solely an aloe beverage. It falls into that previously mentioned gray. Ick. No one wants a gray drink. Luckily for us this does not have that particular hue. I would say that it falls closer to a tea than an aloe, but that is mainly due to the lower levels of sugar added.

Let's talk about the sweetness of this drink, shall we? Now I like my green tea unsweetened. I like to taste the actual tea, and I do…€¦a lot. On the opposite of that, aloe drinks are one of the few beverages that I like really sweet. This drink doesn't fill either of my preferred criteria for maximum enjoyment. It's too sweet for how I like to enjoy my green tea and it does not contain enough sugar to satisfy my aloe needs. Instead we find ourselves in that middle ground again with a whole new beast.

So what we have here is mainly a cane sugar sweetened green tea that has a light peach flavoring to it that has aloe chunks in it and a bit of the natural flavor of aloe that normally gets obscured under obscene amounts of sugar. I'm sure for some people that is a magical combination, but while I do enjoy it, it leaves me craving just a little bit more, or less, whichever way you choose to look at it.

Does anyone else have dreams of diving/swimming into an Olympic size swimming pool full of cranberries and water? I've never been to a cranberry farm, or whatever you call it, but it seems like it would be fun, and that the texture of the berries would just make the experience overall enjoyable. I just looked it up and a lot of the US's cranberries are relatively close to me, so I should really make it a mission to harvest some at some point in my life. Now back to my Scrooge McDuck fantasy (minus the doubloons). How awesome would that be? Cranberries are hard when they grow, so just think about fun water fights would be.

Speaking of that hardness, when I looked up how to juice cranberries everything said to boil them first. If that is the case, how to you have raw cranberry juice? My ladyfriend assures me that the insides of the berry are soft and juicy, and that is just has a harder outer shell. It's completely possible to squeeze the juice out. Me, I'm not so sure. I demand scientific proof, or you know would appreciate someone who is an authority explain it to me.

This may be the only time in the history of beverages that I would prefer that pineapple juice was not involved. Along with the cranberries and ginger that are this drink's namesake, there is also apple, black carrot, black currant and the previously mentioned pineapple juice in the mix. I have nothing against said juices, but the idea of pure cranberry juice with ginger ground into it without the addition of any sweetener leaves me with a fevered mind filled with the most wonderful tart burn anyone could ever imagine. Instead, the additional fruit sweeten it up a bit and there is a lack of a significant ginger burn. It's completely delicious, with the flavors names on the front of the bottle and the main players with the fruitiness in the background, but it just doesn't match what's floating around in my mind.

To summarize I want to be sipping on a beverage with a tart burn while floating around a swimming pool with a 2-3” layer of hard cranberries floating on the top. Is that my idea of heaven? It just might be.

There's a movie in here somewhere. A woman is diagnosed with hyperthyroidism, an autoimmune disease for which there is no cure. Her family and friends try to console her and help her deal with her unfortunate predicament, but our heroine will hear none of it. She is determined to beat this disease and live a long and full life. She begins altering her diet and making the appropriate changes in her lifestyle that are rumored to help combat hyperthyroidism. Her changes are just not working and she's on the fast track to getting radioactive iodine to kill her thyroid, which would lead to a regimen of artificial thyroid hormones for the rest of her life. Things are looking bleak and it looks like the bright future that was once promised to a young girl will not come to pass.

They say it's darkest before the dawn (they being people who like to quote other people) and that is when our Lola (Did I not mention her name before?) decided to take her life in her own hands and find a new way. She knew deep down that natural medicine would be the only real chance she had in life. She delved into ancient texts of Traditional Chinese medicine looking for answers. Can't you just see the montage now of her laboring late at night translating the ancients language? There are moments of frustration and despair, but eventually she hits on an idea and takes bits from here and pieces from there to create a unique concoction that just might work!

With her formulation complete, Lola underwent a six week treatment and by the end she was completely off here meds and her blood work was back to normal. The movie would end just as the first run of Lola's mass produced herbal treatment beverage was being bottled at the plant and all is right in the world.

I know we make up a lot of garbage here at Thirsty Dudes, because..well it's what lives in our brains. I can assure you though that this story is real and the beverage before me is the final outcome. It is a herbal drink that boasts to reverse the effects of aging, boost the immune system and calms the nervous system. I can't say for certain if it works or not, and I don't have it readily available to drink it on the regular, but if Lola's story is any indication that drink is a thing of wonder.

One thing I can comment on as a professional is the taste of this drink, and I think it's great. The ingredients that make up this compound are water, jujube dates, goji berries, dragon eye fruit, lemon juice, organic dried ginger, lotus seeds and ginseng. For those type of ingredients I am surprised that it tastes like a vaguely fruity ginger water. It's got a nice little kick from the ginger, but not to an extent that you have any sort of problem finishing a serving. When health benefits come with a nice flavor like this you know that there is good in the world and everything isn't just pointless.

I don't understand it, honey. Sammy just refuses to eat vegetables. I don't know what to do. I've taken away videos games, dessert, television, and his bike and he just won't eat them. What did you buy? A milkshake? Honey that sounds like a reward more than it does a punishment. It's got what in it? I don't know what any of that is. Ashwagandha? Cordyceps, Tulsi, Sacha Inchi, Spirulina? Are you just reading a Dr. Seuss book to me? You're making these words up, right? You're not. What do they do? They're healthy? Well I guess that's good to know. Now it's a milkshake. Isn't there a ton of sugar in it that's going to get him to bounce off the walls? Oh, it's made with Stevia? That's cool. Well I guess it all comes down to taste. How does it taste, honey. Oh, you made some? Thanks.

Honey. This...this isn't bad at all. I mean I can taste that something is up but our kid, let's be honest here, he's kind of an idiot. Right? You agree with me. I mean, who doesn't just eat vegetables and takes punishment after punishment. Peas never hurt anyone and corn is fantastic. Kids. Am I right? Can I have more of this? Yeah, I was worried that this would just taste like a gritty mess like protein drinks do but it actually tastes good. You made this with eight ounces of milk? Oh wow. That turned into like double that. Cool. He'll feel like he's getting a real treat but in reality, we're poisoning him with healthy stuff.

When he gets home we'll make him something like a hamburger with a side of green beans just so he thinks nothing is up and we'll serve it with this milkshake. He'll think he's pulling one over on us by not eating the green beans and just eat the hamburger and drink the milkshake. Never thought it would come to this but if I have to trick my dumb son into eating healthy, so be it. He'll learn when he's 300 pounds and constantly sweating like your uncle Larry. Yeah, I said it, honey. He's constantly sweating. Like you didn't know.

With a flavor title like “Deluxe Chocolate” a company has some pretty large shoes to fill, hopefully chocolate covered shoes that are made of a slightly darker chocolate that have never come anywhere near contact with any body parts, especially the feet.

One would think that making a delicious chocolate beverage would be a fairly easy task. The process of melting chocolate down, or shaving it into a powder is not a complicated one, yet companies fail at it all the time. I want a nice dark chocolate drink that tastes like I'm biting into a high quality bar of goodness. Sadly this has yet to happen. I by no means thought that this was going to be what I have searched for, but I did expect it to be a little more than it is. Do you want to know the downfall of this protein drink? No, it's not that it has milk protein added to it. That actually doesn't bother me too much these days. The moment this company went wrong was when they decided to add sucralose. Adding any sort of sweetener to this doesn't seem necessary. I like my chocolate dark with little to no sugar added. Maybe it helps with covering up the protein powder, but I would 100% rather deal with that then the diet aftertaste this drink leaves in your mouth. I don't expect them to use real sugar, as this beverage is to help with muscle growth/weight loss, I'm just saying lay off the sweetener altogether. When you drink it, the sucralose is only there slightly but thirsty seconds after you swallow, you can just taste it sucking all of the liquid out of your taste buds. I can't imagine anyone liking that scenario.

As far as the chocolate taste goes, it's completely fine, but it doesn't have the darkness I crave. So those now melty shoes have been left unfilled, which is for the best, because I'm looking to eat those things in a second.

We've drunk A-Game before but now, and this is no pun intended, they have brought their A-Game because this is pretty great. It's got the drinkability of a Gatorade but has a tiny bit of bite from the lemonade and a pretty good strawberry taste. Strawberry lemonade is pretty much always a win for me but I won't put it by companies to screw it up. This drink doesn't have any sort of unwanted bite like you might get from some other lemonades that are made with garbage sugar. I'm no scientist but whatever crystalline fructose is, it makes a good sweetener. There is also honey in here and actual sea salt. It's a pretty good drink all around. A-Game, A-Game.