Juice - 935 Reviews

About a month and a half ago we got together with the guys from Buffalo Eats to do a podcast. While the interview/us being idiots was going on we drank a couple of drinks and did brief “on air” reviews. The podcast just went live yesterday and while I was listening to it I realized that we never wrote a review for Mendoncino for the site. It is a mixture of fresh ground pepper and sweet strawberries that actually has peppercorns floating in it. We had conflicting feelings on it, so here are some quotes from the podcast:

a lunchroom-esque OHHHH*
Derek: “Jason just recoiled in horror after he smelled it”
Mike: “It tastes like strawberries with peppers on it.”
Jason: “Something tastes really, really not…€¦I like the spiciness to it.”
Derek: “It tingles the tongue.”
Donnie: “It smells way worse than it tastes.”
Mike: “ There's like vinegar in this. Is anyone getting that thing where you pour it in your mouth and you breath in it's choking you?”
Jason: “I'm getting asphyxiation.”
Mike: “Yeah I was going to say, this is auto-erotic.”
Jason: “I assure you there is nothing erotic about this drink.”
Derek: “I'm getting exactly what it says, it's strawberry and pepper. Just pour black pepper over a strawberry.”
Jason: “Something about it is fermented a little or something.”
Derek: “It's definitely fermented, not as much as Fentimens though.”
Jason: “Fentimens is delicious though, this is atrocious.”

Mike gave it a two, I gave it a one and Derek gave it a three, so by the law of averages it is getting a two-bottle review.

To listen to the full podcast go here. The review of this drink can be found from 45:30-48:45.

I don't know what "ade" is. I'm no dummy but I assume that "lemons" need to be involved. Lemon"ade" lime"ade". I guess that limes could be involved, too. Ade must mean something else. Is "ade" just another word for juice? I mean lemonade is really nothing other than lemon juice with sugar in it. I guess I just cracked the code. Problem solved. Plus one for me. Minus one for, oh I don't know, racism.

For a juice, or newly discovered "ade", this is great. I have eaten papaya but rarely. I have drunk far more papaya related drinks that I have even touched real papaya. This is not due to me being unworldly; it's just that I don't often fondle fruits I'm not going to buy. It was very fruity, though. There is apple juice in there, but who cares. You can't have a papaya puree ade because that would just be a puree which would be a different animal all together. It wasn't too sweet and defiantly left me wanting more. Even though I have an empty bottle next to me, I still want to open it and hope that I can get some residual drips. I might have already tried that once or twice so I doubt that the third time will be the charm.

Sir, I'm sorry but I cannot let you in with your current attire, as this is a Red Jacket party. Yes, I know that the party is for the company Red Jacket Orchards, but they wanted to take it to the next level. The idea behind it was that “black tie” affairs are far too stuffy, but it would be fun to have a party where everyone just wore red jackets. If you want we have some extra coats here, since we knew people wouldn't get the idea. You wouldn't believe how hard it is to find red suit coats in this town. All I could find was this array of “jackets.” Yes, I had to take liberty with the word jacket and a bunch of these are actually coats and other. Sir, you are kind of a big man, so this parka looks like it will be the only one that will fit you. I know it's the middle of August, but you need to ask yourself, “Do I really want to go into this party? Is the juice worth it?” Before you answer reach into the pocket of the parka. I believe there is a small bottle of Red Jacket apple cider in there. Taste that and then choose your fate. Well that sounded dramatic. Just taste the juice and then either put on the parka, or be on your merry way. It's that simple.

Well it took only one sip and you're all parkaed up. Sir, you don't have to zip it up all the way. All that is required is that you have the jacket on. I know the juice/cider is delicious. I do work for the company, I'm not just some hired gun here to sling out jackets at the front gate. I also know that it is kind of weird to drink cider in the summer. It's traditionally an autumn drink, but its not written on any law books that it must be drank during a certain season. The juice is sweet and appley just like a cider should be. It does taste a little lighter than most other Western New York ciders I've had, but I'll blame that on the season and the apples that must have been used to make it. It doesn't make it gross by any means. Obviously it's a completely wonderful juice as you are willing to don a parka in 95 degree weather just for a chance to drink some more of it. No sir, I don't think you are dumb at all. If our positions were reversed I'd be doing the same thing. I mean where else are you going to find a more than decent cider at this time of year? The answer is nowhere. Now get in there and drink juice until your heart is content.

When you grow up you unfortunately are supposed to leave childish things behind. Lighting things on fire, playing with dolls, brushing your teeth with chocolate syrup, and so on. That's kid stuff. You're an adult. You wear a tie three out of five days a workweek and the other two you wear collared, golf shirts. You drive a sensible sedan that gets adequate mileage and you have two kids, one wife, and a dog. Your life is...regular.

You every once in a while you get a hankering to change it up. Sensibly that is. Responsibly. You usually do this by doing something that no one can see or doesn't affect your appearance and doesn't have any consequences. Today you went to the store to get something to drink before work and you grabbed a cup of coffee and you came across it. There it was, very red and very inviting, like a trashy 80's harlot. I'm talking high-heeled red leather shoes, red lipstick, short red dress, and hair with more volume than a Poison concert. Red Jacket Tart Cherry Stomp. The name was fun, the ingredients were minimalistic and you love cherries.

You pay the cashier, walk out into the street, open the bottle, take a sip, and let out a loud, "Wooo!" that Rik Flair would have approved of. Your cheeks involuntarily sucked into your face and the smile on your face went all the way from cheek to cheek. This drink tasted just like it said, tart cherries. You turned around and your boss was right behind you. You, quick on your feet, handed your boss the bottle asking him to take a sip. He did and let out a less convincing but still heartfelt "Wooo!" and handed the bottle back. You both saw eye to eye at that moment and would occasionally let out a quiet holler in the halls of the office at each other. Your boss was now your bro, and that's cool. You're a cool dude. You blended in a little bit over the years, but you've still got it.

Ever since I moved back to Portland, it has been cold. Sure we've had a few days where it hit 55-60 degrees, but for the most part it has been chilly. Since it has been feeling like fall, I've had a craving for apple cider. In Buffalo, it's hard to find cider when in the winter or spring. Luckily, I stumbled upon this bottle of Columbia Gorge. Oh Columbia Gorge, how I missed you. This is my favorite juice company in the Pacific North West and they rarely let me down.

On the other hand, I'm really picky when it comes to apple cider. I've never had cider as good as the stuff made in central and western New York. That is, until now. This cider is fantastic, and reminds of a lot of my favorite ciders back home. It has the perfect tart taste, with lots of flavor too. I thought I had to give up pure apple cider when I decided to move back to Portland, but I'm glad to find out that I was wrong.

Hi, I'm Mr. Pure. You might remember me from such drinks as Papaya Punch and Pineapple Orange. I believe I know what people want, and I take pride in providing them with only the purest juices. Here in my factory I order the purest juices (in concentrate) this world has ever known. I then add some water to un-concentrate them and add high fructose corn syrup, citric acid, pectin and red 40 to the mix. People want pure and I give them pure that's why they call me Mr. Pure.

Okay, even though the whole pure thing is pretty much a garbage gimmick and there is nothing pure about this drink (the bottle itself says there is only 10% juice in it) this is a decent tasting beverage. Sure there is no watermelon in it at all, unless that falls under “natural flavor.” It's just apple and peach juice. If you hold in it your mouth for a while it gets that Jolly Rancher watermelon taste to it, which is kind of creepy knowing there is no watermelon in it. The peach taste is decent at least, and that's from real juice. Also even though it is sweetened with HFCS it's not as thick as I would expect. It may not be pure juice, and it may not come close to a nice 100% freshly squeezed juice, but it sure is a heck of a lot better than most juice drinks you would find in a gas station.

I wasn't really prepared for this. I expected a decent juice, but not to this level. Raspberry flavored apple juice sounds great right? Well how about whole raspberries pressed into some of the finest purest apple juice you will ever taste? This bottle contains 100% cold pressed fruit. On top of that it's made semi-locally. It seriously tastes like I'm eating fresh fruit, and I can't get enough. It's known that I am a glutton when it comes to drinks. My ladyfriend always complains when I ask for a sip of her beverages, because to me a sip is a quarter of the bottle (or so she says). With that in mind I am trying to take the tiniest sips possible of this, so that I can savor the flavor. This really is one of the best juices I have ever tasted. If you ever see this at your local market, don't even hesitate to make your purchase.

There is an ex-construction, current architect in the office and I made him drink this. He was unsuspecting and this caught him off guard. Want to know why? It's completely disgusting. Reason I bring up his current and past job experience is that he described it as old oak. That man knows a thing or two about wood. Another dude here who is not an ex-construction or current architect described this to taste like a burning house. I'm drinking something that has everything to do with smoking and flames and wood. In China, this is what they drink. Now I don't know how frequently they are doing this, but come on. Who is really drinking this? It's complex as heck but there is no great payoff. If you had juice, burned a piece of wood in a bonfire, took that piece of wood out and marinated it in the juice and then drank the juice, that's what I am drinking.

Please. Someone. I know that people from China read this blog. I check the analytics and although it's not a great number, we do have traffic from China. Explain to me either here or via our contact form what is appealing to you about these plum/prune drinks. I can't wrap my head around it.

Never before has apple flavor tasted so sickeningly sweet, yet still tasted so much like an actual apple. The spectrum of apple drinks normally ranges from your everyday normal apple juice to that disgusting fake sour apple flavor that tastes nothing like an actual apple. This somehow tastes like apple candy, but in a way makes you think that you're actually biting into a nice red apple that has been soaking in a barrel of sugar water for the past three weeks. It's strange, and it seems like it should be gross, you know too much, but it's somehow not. On top of that it has chunks of nata de coco in it that make for a fun experience. So it's now like that sugar soaked apple has little chunks of hard coconut bit throughout it. Wow, typed out that sounds completely disgusting, but believe me it works. Kids would probably enjoy this more than most adults, but if a lot of sugar doesn't bother you, pick up a bottle at your local Asian market.

Surplus! Surplus! Surplus! What on Earth are we going to do with this surplus of vegetables?!? Marky “accidentally” put the decimal point in the wrong spot on his last order before he spit in old man Peterson's face and quit. Now instead of 50lbs of vegetables we have an entire warehouse full of them, and they are going to go bad fast. I know what you're thinking, and no we are not going to donate them. Sure it would be a tax write off, but I'm not going in the business of throwing way money, especially in such high quantities. Don't give me that look. I bet you have never done a day of charity in your life! Oh, you work in the soup kitchen and read to dying children in the hospital in your free time? Well aren't you little mister perfect!

Wait a minute. What was that drink that you had last week? It was juice, but it also had vegetables in it. Ahh yes. V8 Fusion. You said that was delicious, so why don't we do the same? We have a bunch of peaches and mangoes that we were going to make juice out of, why not stretch that a bit further and mix in a bunch of veggies. You could hardly taste them in that V8, or so you said last week. Plus the vitamin content will increase, which means so with the health benefits. People love healthy stuff these days.

Okay either you're a liar, or V8 did something we didn't because I can most certainly taste the vegetables in this juice. It tastes pretty much exactly like what it is; peach mango juice mixed with vegetable soup. Well if that vegetable soup was sweet, which is weird because we didn't add any sugar. It starts off all right, but that aftertaste is like a bad gazpacho. We could cut down the number of veggies we use, but then we would still have an insane amount left after the fruit is gone. I think we should stick with this recipe. Even if it's gross, people may still buy it because it's a new product, and we have no intention of ever making more after all this produce is gone, so who cares if they will never buy it again. Now let's make some juice.

So for a while now this drink has been bouncing around the three of us here at Thirsty Dudes. Mike found it somewhere for mere cents and had to buy it. The problem is that we all hate banana flavored things, well except Runts. Since then it has exchanged hands several times, never willingly. I really should have just kept it going. Hid it in Mikes burrito, or mailed Derek some crazy root beer, but drink it myself and fill the bottle back up with this “banana flavored drink.” An old roommate and I once hid a box of caramel popcorn in each other's rooms for over a year. When one would find it, they would hide it somewhere in the others room. I wonder if he ever found it the last time I hid it. It's been over two years since then. Oh well enough dilly-dallying and tales of wonder, I'm going to drink this bottle of what has to be grossness and end it's reign of terror.

Oh god, I think it may be worse than I ever imagined. It's one thing for something to be banana flavored. I mean they are gross, but tons of people like them. If it actually tasted like bananas I would have given it a decent review, because it would have tasted like it was supposed to and billions of people would have enjoyed it. There may be eight people in this world that might enjoy this monstrosity. It actually smells like banana Runts, so I thought there might be hope for it. Nope. It tastes like banana candy mixed with Windex. There is actual banana juice in this, yet I would be more suited to wash the windows of my house with this than I would be to drink it. Since this is Hello Kitty, and a weird flavor one would be led to believe that it is a product of Japan. Again, Nope. This sucker was made in Italy. Italy, you should know better. You're drinks are normally top notch. I expected so much more from you.

For as long as he could remember the road had called out to George. When he was younger he just loved the idea of cars. As he grew older he devoured the works of Kerouac and Ginsberg. Their words romanticized the road trip in a way that he had never imagined. When he was 16 he worked his little butt off and bought a junker car. He spent the next two years fixing up that car while he finished high school. The travel may have been in his blood, but he was a smart boy and he knew the dream couldn't last forever, well unless he fell into the druggy crowd and died of an overdose. That could seem like forever. The time had finally come and he had just graduated and it was also his 18th birthday coincidentally. He rushed home from the ceremony to print up the directions for his trip. He had decided to keep it old school and he was going to drive historic Rt. 66 all the way out to California, where he would bask in the sun and dip his toes in the tide.

When he got home he hit print, grabbed his backpack and was out the door. It was somewhere around his 7th hour of driving that he noticed something was wrong. He was pretty sure that Alabama was not west of Kentucky. He pulled over and took a better look at his directions; he was an idiot. He was so excited that he didn't really pay attention when he was typing into his computer. He must have hit the “F” key instead of the “R” and auto correct took care of the rest. He wasn't on Rt. 66, and from the looks of the map these directions wouldn't take him anywhere near it. Instead he was on “Fruit 66,” a series of roads that would take him to all of the major fruit farms that the United States has to offer. He decided that he had gone too far to turn back now, so he jut ran with it. He rationalized it by telling himself that it wasn't the destination that was important to this trip, but the ride itself, so it didn't matter where he went. It was also around this time that his old car was thirsty and needed to be filled up. When he pulled into the gas station he was surprised to actually see a Fruit 66 sign. He had assumed it was just a clever name the website had given to the route, apparently it was a real thing. He went in and there was a visitor's center with maps and photos and it looked like he was in for a treat. He also would be passing through South of the Border aka the most racist place in the United States. At the back of the center there was a cooler with cans of Fruit 66 sparkling juice. They were only $1 so he grabbed a couple of cans; one for now and one for the road. As he walked out of the center he cracked open the can and took a big gulp. It was getting hot now that he was getting further south and he was a growing boy, a very thirsty growing boy. As soon as the juice hit his tongue he knew his little snafu was for the better. If this juice was any hint of what this trip was going to expose him to, well then life was good. It was some of the best sparkling juice he ever had. It was basically seltzer water with a whole bunch of fruit juice in it; you know the fruit punch fruits. Normally seltzer water disgusted him, but the juice sweetened it up enough to make it still taste slightly dry, but to mask the seltzer flavor. It was 100% juice in this can and it reminded him of a better version of Juicy Juice. Sweet, fruity and healthy, it was exactly what he needed to lift his spirits and quench his thirst. If this was just the first stop of his adventure he knew he was in for a treat. He could only hope that all of the rest stops along Fruit 66 would also have cans of this juice. Perhaps if the beat poets had taken this route insted of Route 66, they wouldn't have had so many issues and they would have been content. Now onward to the peach orchards of Georgia!

There is a sandwich place, or as I occasionally like to all it a "sandwich joint", the next block over from my work. Fantastic sandwiches. Fantastic. Trust me. If you ever find yourself in Buffalo and want to have lunch with me, and you are in the mood for sandwiches, that's where we're going. My boss always gets this and you've probably had it but I've been too busy drinking stuff made from pond scum and horse teeth to get around to it. I've been missing out.

Everyone's got to take their lumps and gross drinks are my method of getting them out of the way. I've cleared out my dance card and now I can drink this Snapple Kiwi Strawberry juice. You know what? You actually do this time. It's good. Now I'm talking to you. I'm not asking you any more questions. We're having a talk. It's good. I like it. It's stronger strawberry than kiwi but I feel like if you gave me this without kiwi, I might miss it, and I don't even like kiwi that much. You can discuss among yourselves about that if you disagree with it. I slammed this entire bottle without hesitation and could do it again if you dared me.

We all have to take an equal amount of lumps and I just make mine public. You know that I'm accountable for. You, man. I don't know what you've done but by the non-sounds of it, you've got a rough life ahead of you. Clear sailing for me, son!

It's a well-known fact that by the time The Pixies recorded their third album Black Francis had taken over complete artistic control of the band. It turned into a “What I say goes” situation very quickly. There was actually only one time that the rest of the band put their foot down and refused to let him have his way. You see around this point Francis' lyrics were starting to get stranger and stranger. He was writing about outer space, aliens and for some reason superfruits.

In the break between Doolittle and this current album, he had gotten really into making juice. He made this one that he thought was superior to all others. He had combined the juices of acerola and peaches with some help from some oranges and mangoes into what he referred to as the uberjuice. He was so proud of this drink he had created that he wrote a song about it. He intended it to be the opener for his opus Bossanova. The band recorded the tracks and while everyone else was out at lunch, he downed a bottle of his juice and recorded the vocals as an ode to it. He sang about how the sour taste of the acerola cherries was evened out by the sweetness of the peach and mango juices making it incredibly smooth and delightful to drink. He also sang of the health benefits of the juice. One bottle contained 1200% of the recommended vitamin C for a day. Mostly he sang about how great the juice tasted and how he was going to put all other juice companies out of business with this juice that tasted like biting into a perfectly ripe peach while already having some acerola cherries half chewed in your mouth. It really did get graphic at times.

When the rest of the band returned from their lunch break they listened back to the track and shouted their disapproval. Not only was it just weird, but it also seemed like a big commercial for a company that Black Francis was going to start. Things got heated. Kim quit the band, but then rejoined shortly after. Francis finally agreed to remove the lyrics, but he refused to rewrite anything, hence the opening track on Bossanova is an instrumental. Strange times.

In 1993 the band finally broke up. Each member went their own way. Kim did The Breeders full time, Joey Santiago also continued in the music industry while drummer David Lovering took up metal detecting and magic. As you may know Black Francis started going by Frank Black and released a slew of albums. What you probably don't know is that he went big with his juice and he names his company Bossa Nova after the album that he first expressed his love of fruit on. You don't believe me? Rearrange the letters of the front of this bottle and it will read “Black Francis is the walrus, and a juice lover extraordinaire.”

I've had a long day. I hope the subway isn't packed. Oh, nice, it's pretty open. I've got my own bay of seats here. I can relax and stretch my legs out a bit...wait...what...oh man. This fat dude is standing right in front of and staring at me.

What sir? You want me to hold this glass? Where did you get this glass? It looks like you have a glass from home. That is what it is? Alright. I'll hold it. What are you doing with that backpack? Oh, what are you doing with that old shirt? You're putting it over the glass that I'm holding. Why are you doing this? Oh, in the backpack again. You are peeling an orange. I still don't know what I have to do with...are you making fresh squeezed orange juice on the subway? Why don't you just buy...another orange? Sir, I've got to recommend that you just go to the store and...another orange! I have orange juice all over my hand. Please. I don't want to do this anymore. Another orange? The glass is almost full. Sir? The glass is almost full. Sir. Sir!! Sir!! It's spilling over. Enough! Enough!

Here. I don't want to do this. You can have your shirt filled with orange rind and seeds and stuff and your glass. In your backpack again? For what and please don't let it be a knife. Oh, thank you. A Handi-Wipe for my hands. I appreciate it and am glad that...what? You want me to drink it? Sir, I don't mean to offend you, but I am not too keen about drinking subway orange juice from a man I don't know. In you backpack yet again. Oh. Woah! Woah! This time you do have a knife. I'll drink it. I'll drink it. This actually isn't too bad. If I may critique, I wish that you used a sweater next time instead of a shirt because although it's truly 100% juice, with no pulp and everything strained out, I would almost call you a liar if I didn't see you make this in front of my and with my help.

Here is your glass back. Thank you for the juice. I didn't see what was coming and although I don't really appreciate you threatening to stab me, I do appreciate the juice. That makes us even. Have a nice day. I'm going to take a long hot shower to wash the stick and filth off of me. Enjoy your night.

Name three fruits that are pretty intense in juice form. You chose cranberry, pomegranate and cherry all of which are correct answers. Straight up cranberry juice is pretty common and it's not super intense, but it can be fairly bitter if it's not sweetened properly. Have you ever drunk pure juice of the cherry or pomegranate? Now that is a wild ride. Ocean Spray has combined these three juices, along with apple and grape juices, into a concoction that is mild and pleasant. I really think it's the apple juice that smoothes it all out, but the three main flavors are all present in their own way. The cranberries and pomegranates swirl around each other and mix way nicer than you ever would expect. The Cherry is mostly there in the aftertaste. There is no sweetener added to it, which is the way juice should be.

Wow this was a boring textbook style review. Oh well it was a great juice, but there's really not much to say about it other than it's awesome.

I would like to start off by saying that I miss hot Warheads. Sure, sour might make a better drink, but as a candy, it was far more thrilling to have something burning your mouth than squeeze your cheeks together. I just had to get that out of the way. These kids and their sour candy don't know what we had to go through as kids. End transmission 1.

Begin transmission 2: This is just how you think it would be. It's sour, ultra tangy, and has that gross Sunny D sting. It's a bit reminiscent of the candy but less concentrated. The candy was fun because it was a game where the longer you kept it in your mouth the better or the more you can keep in your mouth the cooler and tougher you were. This is drinkable and totally drinkable. There's no game. That's what I liked about all branches of Warheads is the self-punishment of it all. I don't feel like I've earned anything but cavities when I drink this and it makes me sad and makes me miss my childhood. The black cherry flavor isn't bad and I'm sure that all kids would go bonkers over it. Oh man, remember Bonkers? Those were awesome. If they made a Bonkers drink, I would buy it and as gross as I know it would be, drink it.

This...eh. They've nailed their demographic. The demo that they used to have will get no love back because we're a generation of, "Their earlier stuff was better." Bunch of jerks if you ask me.

If Smart Juice isn't one thing, it's a gaggle of liars. Everything I've had from them has been 100% accurate? Now, I'm a world-class scientist, yes, but you don't need to go to school for as long as Jay and myself to know why that is. There is nothing but juice in this here bottle. It's not watered down, sugared up, syruped down, or artificialed. It's just what it is. Pomegranate that makes you tongue shrink and tart cherries that squeeze your cheeks like your great aunt did that you never liked but missed when she stopped doing it.

This was sent to us as a generous gesture and I've been sitting on it for quite some time. Luckily for me, I caught it two months before it expired. It doesn't taste bad, but defiantly has an earthy tone that you would only get from eating a real fruit. Eat more real fruit. If you can't eat it, drink it. If you can't eat it or drink it, draw fake fruit and wish it was real fruit that you could be eating and then wonder what you're doing in Drawing 1 because you are an economics major who isn't even good at painting.

For the first time in the history of the world this orange juice is now available to the general populace. No longer do you need to be descended from royalty in order to enjoy its splendor. As recently as three months ago if someone was found with even an ounce of this juice on his or her person, or in his or her home, and they could not produce the proper paperwork to prove their lineage they would be tar and feathered. It was an old, outdated law on the books, but for some reason every law agency in the free world enforced it; unlike the law that states that it is illegal to put squirrels down your pants for the purposes of gambling. That one never seems to be enforced.

Here we now are at the dawn of a new era and congress has made an amendment to the constitution stating that no man (or woman) will be denied their constitutional right to delicious juice. One taste and you will understand why all those kings and queens of old would want to keep this drink all for themselves. It is nothing but organic orange juice, but it is some of the best orange juice I have ever tasted. One could easily believe that it was in fact this juice that kept them noble. It is sweet and citrusy without being overly acid in any way. If you were a betting man you might say that one could drink an entire gallon of this juice in one sitting and not get a stomachache. No betting man would say that about Minute Maid or Tropicana. It is a good day for the common folk, so don your makeshift crowns and drink a bottle or two. Its your day to play king.

An open letter to the beverage world,

Folks, don't you think you've beaten it into the ground? Perhaps we should just let it die in peace. Peaches are great. Mangoes are wonderful. When you combine the two they make a nice couple. You know the kind that will date for a few years, eventually get married and go on to have a nice respectable family. Everyone likes to know a couple or two like that, but no one wants to be surrounded by nothing but couples like that. It leaves one feeling like something is wrong with them for not being a part of such a wonderful couple. Then the non peach-mango will get desperate and try to pair itself with anything to be like the happy couples. That just isn't good for anyone. Am I making any sense? Of course I'm not. My point in that it seems every drink company out these days has a peach mango option. It's been overdone and it's no longer exciting. It used to be one of my favorites, but I no longer look forward to reviewing drinks of this flavor. I know you folks have more in you, so be creative. Match up some other fruits. I bet a passionfruit/dragonfruit would make for a wonderful wedding.

Sincerely,
Jason & The Thirsty Dudes.

ps. This actually has a decent peach/mango flavor to it, but for some reason they decided to add sucralose along with the sugar and crystalline fructose in here and you catch hints of it. I have no idea why they added it, but one serving still contains 42g of sugar, so it obviously wasn't to keep the calories down. Also if I didn't know there was milk in this I don't know if I would realize it was there, except for a little extra creaminess. Knowing it's in there grosses me out a little. I'm going to guess that 95% of this drink is all water, sweetener and milk. Take a second to think about making that in your kitchen. You wouldn't want to drink it then, so why would they put it in here? I don't see what it's there for at all. Take it out and maybe this drink would have gotten 4 bottles. As it is Derek is off crying because a cow was raped to make this drink. Fuze, why did you have to go and make Neulando Calrissian cry?