Juice - 935 Reviews

It's been a long day here at the juicery. Jerry called in sick, so I had to work a double. I told him that milk was two weeks expired, but he wouldn't listen and chugged the carton. Now he's laying in a pile of vom on his bathroom floor and I'm stuck at work. At least the boss just told me that I could leave as soon as I get through this batch for Fruit 2 Day. I wonder what would happen if I only blended the fruit for a quarter of the time that we're supposed to. I'm sure no one will be able to tell the difference, and it would get me out of here like two hours earlier than I expected.

**Cut to six hours later**
Okay, let's see here.
Apples? Check.
Grapes? Check.
Bananas? Check.
Strawberries? Check.
Raspberries? Check.
Blueberries? Check.
Pears? Check.
Cherries? Check.

Looks like I got through all of the fruit that is supposed to get mixed together for this juice. I'll just check the consistency quick and then I'm home free. Fudge. This is really chunky. I mean really, really chunky. Some of the fruit was soft enough and was liquefied, but the strawberries and a few of the others are still in like quarter inch chunks. I already told Sharon that I was going to be home early and dinner is waiting. Ugh. What to do? What to do? I guess I'll taste it and see if it will be acceptable. Well it tastes awesomely fruity. It's definitely way more berry than any of the other fruits that are involved and I for one applaud them for that. The chunks are actually kind of nice. It makes this stand out amongst other juices. It's a bit chalky because of the whey protein, but that's not my fault. You know what this is actually super awesome. I think Fruit 2 Day owes me a thank you for making their product awesome. I'm going to let this slide. Let me fill out the completion slip and Sharon here I come. Oh it actually says on here to only blend it 1/4 of the normal time. Apparently my laziness is the way things were supposed to be. No great reward for me.

This was suggested to me by our Thirsty Dudes ally Andy Czuba. He takes awesome photos and sings in a great band called Strangers. I respect Andy's taste in most things so when he texted me last night and told me to give this drink a try, I knew it must be good.

I've seen this brand a lot at the Lexington Co-op but usually pass them by due to the high price ($2.99 for a 16oz bottle oof!). I already had a good feeling on this when I saw the ingredients: water, limejuice, blackberry puree, sugar. Simple. Clean. Delicious. In a world where most food products have a paragraph of ingredients, it's nice and refreshing finding a drink that has a short list and it's all things that are easily recognizable.

So was Andy right? Indeed he was! The blackberry taste is juicy, thick, and deep. It lingers for a little bit after each sip, which is great. The lime aftertaste is super tart but I like it that way. I really like drinks like this that give you two distinct different tastes right after each other. It's like a one-two punch of sweet berry, and then BAM! sour lime in your face. I might have to splurge on the other flavors of Natalie's delicious drinks.

You know what's not easy? Cutting a watermelon. I don't care if you have an 1100 square foot kitchen with ample counter space, with the amount of liquid and rind in a watermelon, you're better off doing it in a swimming pool because you're going to get both wet and sticky. I was sticky up to my elbows when I was manhandling and trying to chop a watermelon yesterday. It got cut, and looks great, but was no easy task. I was probably doing something wrong.

Strawberries don't grow in my garden. It keeps stretching out and it's almost into my roses, but nothing but leaves are growing and I don't eat strawberry leaves, I eat strawberries.

Due to my recent difficulty with these actual fruits, I thank Cintron for putting them in a can and making the only work I need to do open the can.

Enough about me, let's talk about this drink because it deserves being talked about. Typically with watermelon drinks, they are vile. We, these three Thirsty Dudes, dislike watermelon drinks because they never taste like watermelon and it seems that would be one of the easiest fruits to get juice from. We're men of authenticity, so if you can use actual watermelon juice, wicked. If you can't, you probably have no business making something watermelon flavored. Think about it. This drink does a pretty good job of doing watermelon justice. I would say that it's about 60/40 watermelon to strawberry. It's really sweet and kids would love the stuff but it's also a pretty good summer drink and cold, this is pretty drinkable. There is also no corn syrup sting, which I was actually afraid of.

If you take it as face value, you could be a huge fan of this drink. Don't be worried. Just do it.

It's no secret that hip-hop artists drink Cristal when they are partying to show off their riches. I may have just completely dated myself there. Is that still a thing, or did it die off in the late 90's? Either way, it's a little known fact that those who are fans of flavor country, but don't drink alcohol down bottles of Kristall in the same situations.

This is my second flavor of this fine product and both have completely blown my socks off. Literally. I had to go across the room, pick them up and put them back on my feet. They are so light and bubbly, but still jam packed with fruit flavor. In my dream world all fruit flavored pop would be like this. It's not syrupy and it actually tastes like raspberries, not sugar or some other sweetener. It also comes in a very classy and classic looking bottle.

Kristall for when you want to party fancy style. Anything else would be uncivilized....or something.

This is a drink for girls. It's pink and has a light taste of peach and watermelon. There is no bite or surprises, just a soft, mellow drink. It's been a long time since I've drunk something like this. It's really flat and kind of plain. Don't get me wrong, the flavors are present, but there's nothing special. It's a blend of two things put together to form one generic pink juice.

Apathetic ladies of the world, found it!

Everything about this can looks like it was left over from the late 90's. Even though this just various juices with no sugar added it tastes more like a "drink" than a juice. Watermelon juice never works folks. You shouldn't even bother trying. It always ends up tasting like some sort of candy. It just tastes generic and I can't get into it.

It tastes like cucumber and that's strange to you, huh? Never had a vegetable juice that is sweet, huh? Well guess what? It happens, brother or sister depending on what sex you are. It happens. Sometimes is happens well and sometimes it happens...not so well. This time, Rob's did a good job. It's not a juice, technically, but it's sweeter than you might expect.

I will say that the sweetness might "common folk" it up. You know, make it so Joe Everyman can come home from the ol' Packard Sawmill and drink something healthy, even though this isn't really healthy as much as it is just low in calories.

For me, I'm more of a man that is on the fringe, the bleeding edge. I am not scared of just something that tastes like liquid celery, because that's what I expected when I drank this, although I do congratulate Rob on making something that is still in the essence of cucumber and tastes so much like it but is still quenching.

Come on. Please take this blindfold off. Why did you throw me in the back of an unmarked van, destination unknown? I didn't do anything. I don't have any money but we can come up with some sort of agreement, right? Let me explain myself. I was minding my own business on my only day off in India on a work trip and I was sitting by the water, drinking some juice.

What do you mean, "that's why you're here?" I don't understand. The water? I won't go back if that's what's wrong. What? The juice? What was wrong with that? Really? That's why? It's because it wasn't 100% juice? Seriously? What are you doing? Are you poisoning me? Then why are you making me drink stuff with a blindfold on and screaming at me to drink?

Fine, fine, I'll drink. Can I hold the cup? You guys are spilling whatever I'm drinking all over my Hard Rock India t-shirt. Thank you. What is this, it's familiar. Pomegranate juice? That's what I was drinking before this whole incident. You kidnapped me because I was drinking cheap juice and you wanted me to describe a better picture of India when I went home? Well I've got to say that this whole situation isn't helping but this juice is pretty great. It just tastes like a pomegranate. Really, just pomegranate and water is in that? It's good.

What are you doing back there? Oh, thanks for taking that cloth off my face. Huh? All girls. No offense, but you are all very attractive and I am honesty surprised that you disguised your voices so well. Ha ha. Really? A Talkboy? Good, classic trick, Caulkin. We'll I will absolutely drink more of this until I leave on Thursday. I should take this as a message to not only drink better quality juice but to go to the gym. None of you ladies are over 120 pounds.

Rob's has really stepped up their game with their newest line. They are all way more flavorful then their predecessors.

The Love Potion name of this drink is truly appropriate. After just one sip has "definitely cast a level 5 charm spell on me." At first I just thought it was a unique deliciousness. Then my ladyfriend said that it tastes like bubble gum. Instantly I realized the flavor and I narrowed it down to specifically strawberry Hubba Bubba gum. Somehow Rob's has melted a gum flavor from my youth down into a delicious 14fl oz bottle. Who knew that flavor was just composed of strawberries, roses and passionfruit. It makes sense that all of said things would be in a love potion, but who knew gum. I guess that makes all of my awkward unrequited preteen crushes make sense. Thanks a lot Hubba Bubba, you jerk

Do you honestly think that you can make money off that, Sherman; a fox that knows karate? It's a novelty, sure, but does he really know karate or does he just look adorable in a gi? You don't know what a gi is and you want to...a gi is a karate uniform. Yes, with the belt. What color belt are you going to give him and don't say black because you and I both know that a fox could not achieve the highest standard in karate. He's nowhere near as disciplined and I have never even met him. You say that you've got a sponsor already? That's quick, who is it? Krazy Kritters? What do they do? They make juice? Oh, sparkling juice! Cool. I'd like to try that someday when you make it big.

You've got some on you now? Oh, there's that little fox on there now. Cool. Good job. I guess he didn't even need to actually take a class. Can I have this to drink? Thanks. Oh, this is...odd. Did you drink this before you signed the contract? It's strange. It tastes like...remember when they made that gum with pop in it? That's what it tastes like. If you put fruit punch pop in gum and then liquefied it this is what you would have. Plus, the Stevia kind of gives it this unwanted, bitter aftertaste that I do not find desirable.

Look we all know that pictures of starving children sells records, but do foxes in karate attire sell drinks? I don't think so if it tastes like this.

How is it that erythritol can be the last ingredient in a list of eleven, and it still is so present in the flavor of a drink? Why even bother adding it at that point? It seems like it's worthless as a sweetener, especially when fructose is the second ingredient. Perhaps they just added it for the flavor.

Other than the natural diet flavor this is pretty fruity. The dragonfruit is more prominent that the blackberry. It's would actually be a really decent tasting diet drink, but it's not really a diet drink so it's a regular drink that tastes diet. No one wants that.

Yesterday we did this video review for Mamma Chia. That's right it has the same seeds in it that are in Chia Pets. With any luck I will grow a plant beard where my normal one is now.

It looks like it would be a pretty rough drink as there seem to be approximately 50 million seeds in each bottle, but they are covered in some sort of coating that makes them go down smooth. They actually give the impression of the drink being really frothy.

As far as flavor goes, it's pretty great. It has a very strong blackberry flavor. Actually the seeds kind of feel like someone systematically separated all of the "balls" from a berry.

What've you got there? Is that a gun? Oh, it's just a can. Sorry. I'm a bit paranoid. You see, I had this wildly vivid dream where a man who looked just like you stood me up at this very shoe store. I was here, buying my Cole Haan Air Colton Saddle shoes and you came up to me, asked me if you could have my wallet, and then jabbed a gun in my back. It was frightening. What is that drink anyways? Juicy Juice? That's for kids, right? No? Adults can drink it, too? I guess you're right. It's just strange because the last time that I had it, I was like eight years old. I'm used to it in those giant cans, though. I've never seen it in those small, baby cans. One more reason I thought it was for kids.

Oh, that's not necessary. Well, if you've got extra. Did anyone tell you that it's strange that you would just carry around drinks with you? I guess it's even stranger that I, a grown man, would take drinks from a strange man that carries around drinks.

This...isn't that good. I'm sorry. Look, I appreciate it, but it's not that great. Yes, it is orange, but the "sparkling" leaves a bit to be desired. It's not that it's over or under sparkly, it's just...off. I think that I expected a sparkling orange juice, but it's more of a sparkling orange drink. You know, like those orange drinks you get at bodegas as bad parent's houses.

What do you mean, "Can I have your wallet?" Of course you can't. Wait a minute...I know what you're doing...that is a knife. Oh man, it's happening for real now! Where is that clerk!?

I for one approve of the recent trend of sparkling juices in 8oz cans. They seem to be popping up more and more. They are just juice and carbonated water. No sugar added. No sugar needed. They are way healthier than pop, but they still give me the carbonated fix I sometimes crave. I swear it's like I'm a junkie. I get this feeling in the back of my throat and I know that I just won't be able to rest until I drink something carbonated. These little juices have been my current fix.

Ocean Spray was wise to cut the cranberry juice in this with grape juice. If it were pure cranberry it would have been pretty tart and a bit intense. This way it's a bit sweeter (naturally) with the same basic taste.

This tastes like it has to be the healthiest juice of all time. It's thick and incredibly potent, insanely potent. So potent that a serving size is only 2oz. That is a shot glass. I honestly don't know if I could drink much more than that. If I downed this entire bottle would if I would acquire super human strength. I think that's how the X-Men started. Professor Xavier ordered a couple cases of this stuff and passed it out to all of the students at his school. A few days later he had an academy of mutants. Don't believe me? Read a book! Seriously if you could keep down the entire bottle in one sitting, you deserve special powers.

It doesn't taste bad, but it tastes concentrated. I can't hold any of this against it though because they tell you to only drink a shot of it.

First things first; why on Earth is this drink blue? It's pineapple, orange, grapefruit and lemon juice. All of which fall in the yellow to orange spectrum. Not a blue fruit in sight. For some reason Everfresh decided to add some blue dye to it. I don't get it. I don't know if they wanted it to appeal to kids more, but there it is as blue and windshield washer fluid.

Lucky for everyone involved it doesn't taste like windshield washer fluid. Actually I can't say that for certain, as I've never actually tasted it. What if that blue spray you use to clean your windshield is actually delicious and fruity. That could be problematic as I'm pretty sure it doubles as poison. I'm going to just assume it tastes like gross sauce. This beverage on the other hand tastes pretty tropical. It's a pretty accurate mix of all of the fruits I previously mentioned. It's tart, but there's sweetness in there that keeps it in check. It actually does remotely taste like Sweet Tarts. Wait does windshield washer fluid taste like Sweet Tarts. Children will die by the millions if this news gets out.

Derek and I drove to DC and back in two days in order to be judges for the Clear Choice Awards, which is the glass bottling competition. According to Google Maps the trip should take 7.5 hours each way. Due to the fact that we are men of leisure we took our dandy time getting down there and stopped at a bunch of places to pick up some yet to be reviewed drinks. We ended up spending 14 hours getting down to our nation's capital. We got to our hotel at around 1:30am and I finally got to sleep at 3. After that long of travel you want to get a good nights sleep. Especially when you're sleeping in a comfortable hotel bed like I was. Unfortunately we were on a schedule and at 8am my alarm went off and I was up getting ready. Completely groggy I scarfed down a bagel and pounded this juice.

Would I have made it through the day without this juice? Probably. Would I have been as happy? No way. It's delicious. It's grape, pear, apple and peach juice all mixed together. The grape and peach juice is all you really taste though, and their flavors are strong and smooth.

As I said before if a juice is made properly it doesn't need added sugar. Fruit is sweet enough as it is. Welch's is wise. They understand these things and they make a good mass produced juice.

Cherries. Red gold. It is currently summer, also knows as the summer of sticker shock when you put a pound of delicious cherries in a bag, weigh them and get presented with a $32 price tag. I don't know why. Reason number 1 is because I don't work in the cherry industry, and two because I feel like I have seen like a trillion cherries on a tree and I just can't justify that absurd price. I'm cheap, that also doesn't help.

This drink brings the delightful taste of bing cherries to your fridge year round...kind of. The initial taste, like four seconds, is a lovely cherry taste. I'm not the master of cherries, and I don't claim to be, but it does taste like cherries, no doubt. Then Xylitol and Stevia kick in and ruin the party. They're like that duo of jerks that come to your party, bring beer, and somehow rip one of the couch cushions, getting you in trouble with your parents. You don't need that. I typically like what Stevia does for drinks, but this one doesn't make the cut.

Cherry lovers, this is still a drink for you. People who like cherries, "Cherry likers", give it a whirl. People apathetic about cherries; move on to something else, like therapy because cherries are pretty delicious.

Dear TropiKing,
I found your aloe drink in a small Asian market near my house and was excited to try you. I love aloe and pomegranate so I thought this would be a winning combo. Man was I disappointed. For one, it barely tastes like pomegranate. Instead it tastes like a mediocre grape/apple juice. Secondly, the aloe chunks are way too small. As Jay said when I told him this, "go big or go home."

I was pretty skeptical at first when I saw this bottle. I don't think I've ever seen a watermelon drink, let alone any juice that is completely clear. Then I took a look at the ingredients, the first two are purified water and organic cane sugar. When the first sign of juice is #3 on the ingredients list, I am weary, and rightfully so. This tastes like sugar water with a hint of watermelon flavor. I suppose this is good for people who want a light watermelon juice, but I'm not one of them. When I think juice, I want tons of flavor. This is like watermelon sugar water. No thank you.