Juice - 935 Reviews

When I was a young kid one of my favorite summer activities was to go to amusement parks. That really shouldn't be a shock because what kid doesn't love rides, games and awesome junk food? There were three different parks within an hour from Buffalo; Darien Lake (later became a six flags), Fantasy Island (always seemed smaller and kind of run down) and my favorite, Crystal Beach.

Crystal Beach was a twenty-minute ride across the border into Canada right on Lake Erie. I think it was always my favorite because it had everything that normal amusement parks had, plus it had it's own awesome beach with a rad pier. It also had one of the greatest roller coasters I have ever ridden, The Comet. You could ride it forwards or backwards. It was sheer magic to a little kid.

The other great thing to come from Crystal Beach is the regional drink Loganberry. It is a very thick juice that is a mixture of blackberries and red raspberries. It's so thick that it's almost like an uncarbonated soda. As a kid I absolutely loved the stuff. It was typically sold in glasses that were dispensed from those giant clear machines that constantly mixed the drinks. If I had any idea what they were called I would post a picture.

As an adult it's a bit thick to drink on any sort of regularity. Drinking it every once and a while definitely brings back fond memories. Like the time I won a giant stuffed Nerd (you know the guys on the candy box). Unfortunately the park closed down in 1989. I can't believe it was that long ago. Now it is just condos. I still go to that beach sometimes. The dilapidated boardwalk is sitting there in pieces waiting for kids to jump off the end into the deep water. I think I need to do that soon.

This drink is so good and natural tasting that I feel like there should be halved guavas floating in it. It basically tastes like someone walked out into the jungle, collected a bushel of guavas, returned home, got their blender out from the bottom cupboard, put a little water in it, added the 467 guavas they picked and drizzled in a dash of agave nectar and pureed the hell out of it. Then because they aren't the world's greatest roommate they left the blender on the counter unwashed for a couple of days and let the fruit flies build up in numbers until their forces were strong enough to conquer the entire house, which then had to be evacuated and fumigated. Was that delicious guava drink really worth all of the trouble? Yes it was, but since you can get basically the same thing in a bottle of Coba, why don't you take it easy on your roommates?

You drink stuff with chunks in it? That's gross? What's gross about it? Well, it has chunks in it, for one. Seems like something went wrong if you're drinking something that has chunkified on itself. The chunks are from aloe? The plant? Gross. Who drinks plants? Yeah, I guess tealeaves are from a plant, too, but that's different because there aren't any chunks in it. I like a nice, clean drink; free of all pulps, curds, chunks, and seeds.

Yeah, actually some of that sounds good, lemon, honey, and aloe, but there you go again with that aloe. It doesn't have chunks? Alright, you know what? For you I'll try it. Hmm, that's pretty good. Let me give this another go. It's good. It tastes like lemonade with a little extra kick. Maybe it's lemonade with honey, but like honey off one of those cool honey dippers. No, not honey dipper like that dude that goes to your weird aunt's house and gets the poop out of her poop tank. Those cool honey dippers like the one that they use on the cover of the Honey Bunches of Oats box. I can taste the aloe and it's great because there aren't any chunks getting in my way.

See, this is what I'm talking about. I don't know why you drink all that stuff. This is a nice, foreign drink that doesn't make me want to puke. Get that grass jelly drink out of my face! Where do you get this stuff?!

I really enjoyed the last Kato drink I had, so I've been waiting to try this flavor. I forgot this was a nata de coco drink, and not aloe like I first thought it was. I like nata de coco, but not as much as aloe. The chunks are harder, and chewier. In comparison, aloe is really squishy and needs no chewing at all.

The lychee flavor in this is nice, but not amazing. It's not too sweet which is nice seeing as I wanted a thirst quenching drink on this hot day. It had the consistency of a watery juice.

Hey kid, get over here. Drink this. Don't worry. Don't worry. It's not poison. My name is Mike. I'm a writer for Thirsty Dudes. Now that I'm no longer a stranger, drink this. It's strange right? Did you drink it? Come on, dude, it's not like I'm forcing you to drink it. Just take a sip. I need an objective opinion. My mouth tastes like it. What did you think? Strange right? It's like nothing at first and then it gets...odd. Nutty. Look, you've just held it for thirty seconds and you need to shake it again. It's like oil and water in there. Alright, it's a matter of having stuff in there and there is no oil in it. It smells alright, like a light fruity drink. Initial taste isn't bad either, but after a while, it tastes like you drank peanut flavored water. That's not right, right? I don't know.

You like it? To each his own I suppose but it's not for me. You know what, you can have it. What? You don't want it? You and I are the only people who have drunk it. Oh, it's not good enough for you? Well you're a little bit of a brat now aren't you?

Note: I make people drink everything I drink but I treat them a lot better than this made up scenario

This drink is an anomaly. First off, it's a non-carbonated energy drink. This used to be a rarity, but they are becoming more and more popular lately. Secondly, it's made up of 100% juice. Could it be an energy drink that's actually good for you? Who would have ever thought that would be real? Third, the color on the logo is purple, so you assume this would be a grape drink, or at least purple in color right? Nope, it's bright green.

You know in the movie Role Models where they are peeing in the school bathroom after drinking all those Minotaur Energy Drinks? To quote Paul Rudd, “It looks like Shrek's piss”. That is EXACTLY what color this drink is. Not necessarily a bad thing, just weird.

Just like the original flavor of Rumba, this is a really good tasting drink. It mostly tastes like juice (a mix of apple in grape in my opinion), with a hint of energy drink taste. I think most people would think this is just juice if they were given a blind taste test. Good stuff!

Here is a story that may make you think that I was once and possibly still am a savage. In the early 2000's I started my life in touring bands. At the time I was completely broke, but all I wanted to do was tour as much as I could. As a result I rarely ate. After my first month tour I came home and I had lost over 15 pounds. My mom said I looked like a skeleton. I see it as worth it. I spent that entire tour eating basically nothing but peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. We had a cooler in the van that had a bottle of barbeque sauce in it along with my PB&J. It created a very unique smell. It was so strange. In those adventures I always had Welch's grape jelly. There really is no point to telling that story other than I had a cooler in a van that I lived in that reeked of Welch's grape jelly, peanut butter and barbeque sauce and that is kind of gross.

This is my first go at a Welch's non-grape drink although it does have grape juice in it. Would there be an impending lawsuit if there weren't? I was expecting this to be a very bland generic fruit drink, but you can actually make out all three of the fruit flavors. It's mostly grape and blueberry, but there is an aftertaste of kiwi, which is pretty rad. I can't say that I would drink this very often, as I tend to pick juices that don't have added sugar in them, but in a pinch this works just fine.

Oh yeah I finally found a use for that barbeque sauce. I would up getting a bunch of veggie chicken patties that I would put on the dashboard to defrost/warm them up. Slathered in barbeque they were a little bit of okay.

The potential for these Kahe drinks was through the roof. An all-natural kiwi soda sounded like a dream come true. I've always wanted a bottle of straight kiwi juice, almost as much as I want a bottle of cantaloupe juice. I don't think either is destined to happen though.

They started this off right. They took some carbonated water and added a bunch of kiwi juice concentrate to it. I'm pretty sure they could have stopped right there and I would have loved this drink. Sure it wouldn't have been overly sweet, but it would have been enough for me and it would have tasted like fruit. Instead of quitting while they were ahead Kahe decided to add a low calorie sweetener, or two to be exact. I'm all for low cal drinks. I completely understand that this country has a severe sugar problem. I suffer from it myself. I also salute stevia for being one of the only "diet" sweeteners that I can really stand. The problem with it is that it can be overpowering if there's not much else to cover it up. Since this was just water and juice the stevia and xylitol completely took over the flavor of the drink. It tastes like it's 2 parts sweetener to every one-part juice. As a result the wonderful kiwi flavor becomes hidden and you have to search it out underneath the added sweetness and the drink drops in ratings.

Wegmans is our local grocery store, and it is the best grocery store I have ever set foot in. Seriously it blows everything else away. The selection is great, the prices are low and they even have a burrito bar that has tofu in it. Pure gold. On top of the store itself being incredible their store brand is as good as if not better than most brand names.

So the other day I'm in Wegmans getting myself one of those previously mentioned burritos and I decided I wanted something carbonated, but I didn't want soda. I just couldn't deal with that much sugar at the moment. I walked to the beverage aisle and I saw that they had these as a new product. I happily grabbed a four pack and made my way to the cashier with burrito in tow. I was expecting this to be a little on the seltzery side, but holy crap is it amazing. It's nothing but juice and carbonated water, but it tastes like one of the best pops you'd ever have. There's no sugar added to this, but it's still naturally nice and sweet. Luckily it was to a level I could handle that day. It tastes like a great blend of mango and orange juice with pineapple controlling the entire ordeal.

This four pack is already gone and I can't wait to try the other flavors. If you're lucky enough to have a Wegmans in your area, don't sleep on this juice.

All three of us have reviewed a guava drink today; so let it be known that July 6th, 2011 will now be known as Guava Day. I, for one, welcome our new guava overlords. I'd like to remind them that as a trusted blog personality, I could be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underground sugar caves.

They have bestowed onto me a bottle of guava nectar to sample. I don't think I've ever had a guava nectar drink and I must say it's quite good. It's not as thick as other nectars I have had, but that's a good thing. I often find nectar to be way too thick and hard to drink. This is the consistency of a juice/nectar mix and it's perfect.

**Disclaimer: this review was in no way influenced, edited, or forced by the almighty guava overlords.**

In the wild world of Canada, there are live exotic fruits. It's true. You don't believe me? Take a trip up to Toronto. While you're there, go do yourself a favor and go to "Fifty Toppings Guy". It's a hot dog cartman on the corner of Queen and Spadina who has wonderful veggie and non-veggie dogs. I'm assuming that you've got a satchel or a fanny pack or something to carry your exotic fruits in, so I am not even going to address it. So once you get past the Eaton Centre, up on your left is a jungle. Ask James, the night watchman, if you can go in. You know the secret hand gesture, right? That's right. It's the same one as the Van Buren Boys hand signal that George Costanza used to save his life. Once James lets you in, get your shoving arms ready because it's a madhouse in there. The pushing and shoving, you would think you were in one of those Filene's "Running of the Brides" events.

Wait, did I tell you that all the exotic juices are in juice box format? Ooops. Sorry. Did you think that it was just fruit hanging off of trees? Are you kidding? Passionfruit, Guava, and all that other good stuff doesn't grow in Toronto. They have to package it up so that it doesn't get damaged when dropped, and since you're going to be fighting your way through said juice, you'd better have a nice, cardboard carrying case around it.

Whilt pushing fat men and skinny ladies, fight your way over to the Rubicon table to grab some of their guava, or as they like to say "goyave". It's pretty close to the bare essentials of what guava is all about. Water, guava pulp, and sugar and then some preservatives and stabilizers to keep it from surprising you with a straw full of brown juice. Oh man, the thought of that makes me want to puke. It's a little gritty like nectar and just the right amount of sweetness so you don't get cavities and probably get some sort of legitimate nutrition. Your mom would be proud, but don't show her that you got your school clothes dirty because some angry woman just pushed you in the dirt so she could get her grubby, rather large hands on the pineapple juice boxes.

Ladies and Gentlemen, in an effort to gain superhuman sight I shall now consume no food other than carrots and drink nothing other than carrot juice. I am sick of this normal vision. I dream of a day when I can read at night and more importantly look through a closet refrigerator door so that I can realize there is nothing I want to eat inside without wasting the manual and electrical energy.

I will start this experiment in greatness with this carton of juice. 11.2 fl oz of freedom is what I hold in my hand. Hmm. This doesn't taste like actual carrots nearly as much as I imagined. Since the only ingredient is organic carrot juice I really expected this to taste like I chewed up a carrot for about 15 minutes. This is actually much sweeter than I anticipated. I would have sworn there was sugar added, but nope. It tastes like a juice of some sort that is vaguely carrot tasting and lightly sweetened. I'm kind of disappointed that it doesn't taste exactly like carrots, but I but if I drank a juice that did and this back to back, this would win out. Not bad.

What's what Sally? If I eat nothing but carrots my skin will start to turn orange? Well I want no part of that. I will leave the gift of super sight to rabbits and cats. He's to wasting fridge energy!

Gene you've done a great job here with this white grape juice. It has a great flavor and nice carbonation. Wait…€¦what? It's not carbonated? I guess it's just that good that my mind somehow imagined the bubbles. Let me take another sip. You're right it's not. Why on Earth did I think it was?

Now Gene this is great but as you know us here at Sangaria are trying to take the company in a “green” direction. You know, reduce our waste and all. We've been getting in a lot of trouble with the government as of late. Is there anything you can think of to help us out? Wait you want us to put the remainders of the grapes in the drink? That's just plain weird Gene. Who would want to drink that? Okay find I'll try it. This actually isn't too bad. My only complaint is that the grapes could be peeled. You have a machine that will do that? Where do you get those wonderful toys? This is going to be perfect. It's a wonderful tasting white grape juice with whole peeled grapes thrown in to make drinking fun again. Kids are going to have a hay day and you Gene are going to have an awesome compost pile with all of those grape peels. I told you we had to get rid of waste, so now you have to take them home. Enjoy.

So the world knows that lemonade is simply a squeezed lemon with some sugar added to it. It's not a secret. It really is just common knowledge. The real question is why did I not realize that orangeade was the same thing except with the fruits switched? Really I always just thought it was just some garbage “orange drink.” I guess I was right in the case of the Arizona version.

I have to say, is it necessary for it to exist? It doesn't taste bad in any sense, but it's orange juice we're messing with here. It's a classic and is amazing on it's own. I feel that by adding sugar it's cheapening the juice. It's making it into something that would be fit to be put in a juice box for kids. This is nothing against the Rob's version of orangeade. It's the best I've ever had, but like I said it just leaves me wanted some good old-fashioned orange juice with lots of pulp.

What is the deal with sucralose? Why is it the worst sweetener this world has ever seen? Less that 1% of this beverage is sucralose, yet it has overthrown the rest of the flavors in the bottle. I hate hate hate hate HATE IT!

This started off strange enough. It's called "Pomegranate Berry" so that is what I thought I was getting into. As soon as I took a sip I knew something was amiss. A quick check of the ingredients informed me that there are actually more vegetables than fruit in this juice. I'm all for vegetables, but when you're not expecting them it's a bit off putting. It's really just the tomato paste that threw me for a loop. So here you have a blend of fruits and vegetables, that really tastes heavy on the vegetable side, and then sucralose shows it's ugly face and completely ruins everything. I know this is a diet drink, and I'm not saying they should have added cane sugar or anything like that. What I am saying is that I think this juice could have stood by itself without any added sweetener, but American's are dumb and need everything overly sweet.

This is pretty bad. There's no beating around the bush. If you like it, awesome, but if you're looking for good limeade, you're not going to find it here. There is a sweet sting that almost feels carbonated followed by a decent lime taste. It's hard to get past the sting and it took me by surprise the first time I drank it. I don't know why it's there.

I don't have a great review and you know what, they don't have to be gems, but I'm not going to waste my time writing some poetic tale of a girl riding her bike crashing into a lime tree and spilling the seltzer water all over all the limes that spilled on the ground. I just won't do it. Sure she decided that she would gather up the limes and take them home so that the townspeople won't get mad that she knocked some of their lime supply off the tree, but you don't need to know that because I'm not going to make up another story.

Alright, wise guys. Who did this? I went to the store. I bought one green apple. I got a flat tire thirteen feet from leaving the store so I had to walk home like thirty minutes. I went to take a shower and I got back and this happened. Who did this? Oh, what? What am I talking about? Well I'll tell you. Who cored out my apple, poured carbonated water in it, and then capped it with the original top of the apple. Look, albeit very clever and quite well done, I really wanted this apple. I rode my bike all the way to the store for one apple. Hindsight is telling me that I'm crazy.

Since I went and did all of this, I need to eat it. You understand don't you? Hard work has to come to fruition and now I have to pay the price because you're a jerk. Well this is something now, isn't it. The carbonation seemed to seem into all of the pored of the apple and has somehow managed to carbonate the entire apple. It's got the inherent tart, sweetness of a green apple with the nice sparkle of a sparkling drink.

Who did this? Was it you, Carl? Who's lighting off those bottle rockets? It's freaking my dog out. Stop it. What's happening today? I'm going to eat this whole apple myself because it tastes exactly like those Picabi sparkling apple drink. I love those because they taste like this and I love this because it tastes like that. I don't love you because you ruined my precious apple for the better and who ever is lighting off those bottle rockets, my dog hates you.

Oh dude. Good game. I can't believe that you dunked on that one kid. He was easily a foot and a half taller than you. You and I should get Joey and start a team and play in the Gus Macker tournament next week. We just have to find a way to raise $160. Why do you need to pay to play a game? It's not like they don't have giant sponsors for every city. They're making the world a better place to live by charging kids $160 to play a game. What a ripoff. Whatever. We'll sell some candy bars for a month or something so we can play basketball. You thirsty? Alright, let me see what my mom bought when she was at the grocery store. Want to have some tropical passion? Yeah I bet you do. What? What do you mean it's weird? What's weird about passionfruit? It doesn't taste like passion fruit? Let me see that. Oh, that is weird. What's in this it tastes like...there are carrots in this. It's a little diety...and that's because there is sucralose in it. I'll take this, you can look for something else. I'll try to work my way down it. It gets a little better but it tastes more like diet carrots now that I know what's in this. Next time you can make the drink decisions. I'm going shopping with my mom next time for times just like this. What do you mean you don't want to be on my team anymore? Because of this? Dude, seriously? We've been friends for like eight years. Over juice? Really? Whatever, you can't shoot threes.

Sherman, could you please get my Sorels? It's cold and I need to go outside to scour for food and supplies. They're in the back room. What are you doing? Why is it taking so long? What do you have there? Juice? Seriously? Well since I have it, I'll drink it. Whoa. Sherman. Where did you get this? You traveled all the way to town? I asked you to get my Sorel boots and you brought me...Sorrel drink. I guess I can see the problem here. Thanks, but why didn't you get some food when you were out? I mean you bought Ramen for yourself and this Sorrel drink, which I am quickly falling in love with. What are we going to eat later? We can only eat snow shaped like hot dogs for so long. I guess one more day won't hurt. Man, so good. Did you try this? Sherman, try it. It tastes like a spicy cranberry hibiscus juice. It's got that good ginger beer taste with a nice big fruit flavor. You like it, don't you buddy? Alright, I should have just gotten them myself. I'll get my boots and we'll go to town together and get stuff. I owe you one of these drinks because they are worth every penny. Maybe if you're good, I'll get you some chocolate. You love your chocolate.

I demand to know who is in charge of keeping track of ORACs aka antioxidant comparison. As far as I can tell companies just make up numbers. Acai drinks always seems to list the ORAC found in acai in comparison to other antioxidant rich fruits and the numbers are never even close to the same. I'm calling shenanigans!

As for the juice contained (yes I know they say it's a smoothie, but it has the consistency of juice so that is what it is in my world) it smells terrible. Vaguely rotting. I was skeptical to even drink it. I sucked up my fear and I took a sip, which actually tasted pretty good. The acai flavor isn't as harsh as I expected it to be. The other ingredients mellow it out a bit. It's not in my list of greatest juices of all time, but because of the health aspect of it I have no real complaints aside from the retched odor. I advise not breathing until it's in your mouth already.