United States - 4098 Reviews

I don't know what "ade" is. I'm no dummy but I assume that "lemons" need to be involved. Lemon"ade" lime"ade". I guess that limes could be involved, too. Ade must mean something else. Is "ade" just another word for juice? I mean lemonade is really nothing other than lemon juice with sugar in it. I guess I just cracked the code. Problem solved. Plus one for me. Minus one for, oh I don't know, racism.

For a juice, or newly discovered "ade", this is great. I have eaten papaya but rarely. I have drunk far more papaya related drinks that I have even touched real papaya. This is not due to me being unworldly; it's just that I don't often fondle fruits I'm not going to buy. It was very fruity, though. There is apple juice in there, but who cares. You can't have a papaya puree ade because that would just be a puree which would be a different animal all together. It wasn't too sweet and defiantly left me wanting more. Even though I have an empty bottle next to me, I still want to open it and hope that I can get some residual drips. I might have already tried that once or twice so I doubt that the third time will be the charm.

Sir, I'm sorry but I cannot let you in with your current attire, as this is a Red Jacket party. Yes, I know that the party is for the company Red Jacket Orchards, but they wanted to take it to the next level. The idea behind it was that “black tie” affairs are far too stuffy, but it would be fun to have a party where everyone just wore red jackets. If you want we have some extra coats here, since we knew people wouldn't get the idea. You wouldn't believe how hard it is to find red suit coats in this town. All I could find was this array of “jackets.” Yes, I had to take liberty with the word jacket and a bunch of these are actually coats and other. Sir, you are kind of a big man, so this parka looks like it will be the only one that will fit you. I know it's the middle of August, but you need to ask yourself, “Do I really want to go into this party? Is the juice worth it?” Before you answer reach into the pocket of the parka. I believe there is a small bottle of Red Jacket apple cider in there. Taste that and then choose your fate. Well that sounded dramatic. Just taste the juice and then either put on the parka, or be on your merry way. It's that simple.

Well it took only one sip and you're all parkaed up. Sir, you don't have to zip it up all the way. All that is required is that you have the jacket on. I know the juice/cider is delicious. I do work for the company, I'm not just some hired gun here to sling out jackets at the front gate. I also know that it is kind of weird to drink cider in the summer. It's traditionally an autumn drink, but its not written on any law books that it must be drank during a certain season. The juice is sweet and appley just like a cider should be. It does taste a little lighter than most other Western New York ciders I've had, but I'll blame that on the season and the apples that must have been used to make it. It doesn't make it gross by any means. Obviously it's a completely wonderful juice as you are willing to don a parka in 95 degree weather just for a chance to drink some more of it. No sir, I don't think you are dumb at all. If our positions were reversed I'd be doing the same thing. I mean where else are you going to find a more than decent cider at this time of year? The answer is nowhere. Now get in there and drink juice until your heart is content.

Did you know that chia seeds are what demigods grow from? True story. We've all heard the storied about how “primitive” people used to sacrifice virgins to their gods in order to appease them and ask for any number of gifts in return. Well that is just plain silly and barbaric. Somewhere along the line someone messed up a translation. You see in ancient times sacrifices were all the rage, but they had absolutely nothing to do with virgins. What does a god want with a virgin anyways? Nothing, that's what. They are gods they can jut conjure up anything they like. Anything except one thing that is, and that thing is chia seeds. They are a sacred, sought after item for gods. You see much like Link needs to collect rubies in The Legend of Zelda in order to trade them for various weapons and dry goods, the gods much also collect chia seeds in order to trade them in for demigods. You see our life is meaningless to the ancient gods, except for the fact that they can use us to help gather chia seeds in order to win the game. Oh didn't I mention that part? You see at the beginning of time, there were a bunch of bored gods. They sat around each other's houses all the time bored, complaining that there was nothing to do and that being omnipotent was such a burden. One of them, maybe it was Odin (he always had the best ideas), came up with the idea for a game where all of the gods had to collect as much as something as possible, and then at a predetermined date they would count them all up and the one with the most one. It sounded boring at first, but then Odin, being the world's first dungeon master, created an elaborate world in which the game would take place. In order to make the game harder, he created a new item called the chia seed. The gods could not just magically wish for them and they would appear. They had to have the inhabitants of the world gather the seeds for them. For every million seeds that were presented to them they could create an item that they were to be collecting. Everyone agreed that is was better than what they were doing so they began the game. After a while it seemed that it was taking all of the gods forever to collect the appropriate amount of chia seeds so Odin amended to rules so that the collected items would be demigods, and those demigods could also be used to raise more chia seeds. It was actually quite elaborate and Odin won a bunch of awards for it at the Omnipotent Awards that year.

So there you have it the true history of the gods and chia seeds. Now that the game is winding down the humans who once harvested the seeds for the gods have lost interest. To be honest they have pretty much lost all awareness of their task. Instead of gathering the seeds in order to present them to their specific gods they instead have started putting them in their beverages. You see not only are they good for creating demigods they are also chock full of fiber, omega-3 and antioxidants. Chia\Vie has made this drink with the seeds. They mixed some fruit juices and then ground down a bunch of chia seeds and added them to the drinks. It's a little gritty, but not too bad. This specific flavor is supposed to be mango, but it ended up just tasting like cheap orange juice that had sat out for a long time and then rechilled. There's a bit of mango in the mix, but old-orange is definitely the prevalent flavor.

When I was in high school a bunch of my friends and I stopped by a grocery store for some provisions for a night of hanging out in the woods. Okay the woods were actually the fields at the end of one of the kid's street, but there were a bunch of trees and we had a totally sweet hang out spot. I don't remember what I got to drink, but I can assure you that I purchased a huge loaf of Italian bread. I can also assure you that I ripped off the top, hollowed out a bit of it, filled that space with bulk candy and then popped the top back on. What can I say; I was poor and a thief. Sue me. My purchases aren't the important point of interest here. The important thing is that my one friend bought a jug of loganberry drink. He was so stoked because it was in this huge jug. When we got down to the fields he opened it up took a huge sip and immediately spit it everywhere. You see he wasn't the most observant kid, and he failed to notice that the jug was a concentrate and not ready to drink. He was probably supposed to mix in a gallon of water or so with the amount he gulped. I bring this up because as I took a sip of this I had a similar reaction. I didn't spit it out, but I was fairly sure it was a concentrate. Nope. This is just ridiculously sweet and ridiculously strong. I don't mean that in a good way either. I really only made it maybe ¼ of the way through the bottle, and it got less intense the more I drank, but it still didn't taste very good, hence my dumping the rest. White tea normally has a very specific taste to it, but with all of the added sugar in this you can't even tell. This would be any type of tea, or just sugar water and you would never know the difference. It also contains 1% juice, which is laughable. That juice is pomegranate, and it just tastes like some sort of pomegranate syrup that would be put on a snow cone.

Not only was this gross, but it also was 1.5 liters of gross. That is 1.4 more liters of grossness than I needed to know I didn't want any part of it.

Fourth grade. What a joke that was, right? Homework cuts into all your serious Mortal Kombat time and all you want to do is play with your friends. There are bikes that need to be ridden, tree forts that need to be built, and football that needs to be played. No, your English teacher thinks that Arthur Miller is more important than building friendships and burning wood with a magnifying glass. All you want to do is go outside in the late spring sun and eat Freez-e-pops with your friends and play basketball.

What's that? Your daddy brought you a new bottle of pop that you've never seen with quite a sexy lady on it and gave it to you with a wink. What was he thinking with such an erotic bottle? Lemon Slime? Gross, and awesome. You can't wait to sink your teeth into this. You open up the bottle being careful not to spill any on your homework. You take a sip and love it. It's so sweet and tastes like a green popsicle. You drink half the bottle and continue reading. Your mom comes in to see how you're doing and sees the rather erotic pop that your daddy brought and instantly disapproves, taking the bottle from you. On the way down the stairs, your mom takes a sip and is disgusted. It's so sweet and tastes like a green popsicle. She couldn't possibly drink a whole bottle of this herself, as it is just too much to handle. She dumps it down the drain only to be seen by your daddy who gave that to you as a little "man to man" drink. Alas, it will be a few years before your mom lets you watch anything with Elvira in it.

To be a kid again, right? You can endure all the sugar thrown at you but as you get older, you just can't do it. Don't grow up, theoretical kid. Stay young forever.

Last year we had Avery's bottle some private label birch beer and sarsaparilla for us. We made up some rad Thirsty Dudes labels and Mohawk Place, a rad local bar, sold them. Within a couple of days we were out of all of them. We wanted to order more, but the shipping cost was too high to make it cost effective. We've been searching for a closer bottler since. That's not really important. What is important is that the sarsaparilla we got from them was decent, but nothing to write home about. It was actually fairly light in color, which was a bit odd. I realized we never ended up reviewing one of them for the site, so we ended up picking up a bottle of it at Soda Pop Central. Since we already knew what it tasted like we have been sitting on it for a while. Now the time has come and I have to say that this tastes way better than what they bottled for us. Maybe we got a bum batch or something, but this is very strong. It actually tastes more like a root beer than a sarsaparilla. Actually it tastes like a root beer while a whole mess of licorice in it. It's dark and great. It's a bummer that our batch wasn't their best, but it's good to know that this company can make a really nice soda. I wouldn't pass it up if I saw it in the store, and neither should you. Now someone find us a place to inexpensively bottle some soda with a Thirsty Dude's label.

Finally the world has combined tea and coffee into a single drink. Only the finest coffee beans and tealeaves are used to create this unholy alliance. Oh wait, no that is wrong. This drink actually has nothing to do with coffee at all. It has java in its name solely because the tealeaves they use to brew this from on the island of Java. To be honest I am actually relieved. I don't think I would really like a hybrid drink. I mean sure I would drink it, and I bet tons of people would actually love it, but I can't see it being for me, especially if it was unsweetened. This drink on the other hand is wonderful because it's unsweetened. They microbrew the precious Java tea leaves and that is that. There is absolutely no reason for them to mask the taste of this tea, and they know it. It is the best tasting unsweetened black tea I have ever tasted. It has the subtle bitterness of unsweetened tea, but it is also very, very smooth. It's incredible flavorful, and it tastes like it is made from some specialty tea that would cost way too much from a store in the mall. Well done Tejava.

Jay isn't the only rock star in Thirsty Dudes. It's true. At one time, I used to play bass for a math, indie rock band. It was awesome and I had a lot of fun the entire time we were a band. We were all great friends and loved practicing. The drummer and I, making up the rhythm section were called "The Rhythm Section" and the singer and two guitar players were known as "The Turds," for no reason. It just came to be and that's how it always was. There was no rivalry or anything, it was just a name and it stuck.

This drink is called "Rhythm" and I like it. There is no food called "rhythm" but there is a starfruit and citrus flavored fruits, which make up this drink. I've got to say, it's pretty spot on. I've only had a starfruit once or twice in my life, but I've had enough "citric" fruits to be able to pick them out of a lineup. Those two mixed with the erythritol is a nice, cool, citric sweet treat that I somehow just destroyed a bottle in like ten minutes of casual drinking. I normally don't drink that fast so I'm either dehydrated or it's that good. I'll give those boys over at Vitamin Water the benefit of the doubt and call it a great drink.

Concentrates are a daring thing. The companies put their trust in you to mix accordingly and not mess it up. The directions are always clear and it's a good thing. The last thing the company wants is for you to not read the directions and slam a big mouthful of overpowering syrup. Kids like to do that, though. Kids thick they're so tough. Oh, you mixed Kool-Aid in an appropriate, eight ounce glass? That's cool. I made a packet of it in a shot glass. That's what companies are afraid of.

Since I am quasi-responsible, I mixed the appropriate amount in a glass and brought it back to the table. It's early, not terribly, but it's early. I didn't want something super strong that was going to destroy my precious teeth. I don't like peaches the fruit, but I do like this drink. It's a great iced tea that tastes like something that I didn't mix with my bare hands. It didn't taste like I made it with my bare hands because I used a spoon but the mix is pretty good. It had a very fruity peach taste and the tea was crisp. Thank you "real" sugar.

I used four tablespoons and I have so much more left in that bottle. This is a wise investment that you will never look back on. Enjoy your time with peach iced tea, friends.

Mole people are a crafty, busy bunch. Sure, they live in subways and don't shower and have many rats that they call family. That is their "con" column. Their "pro" column is filled with all sorts of resourceful, ingenious strategies that allow them to live how they do. Mole people are the ones that make this Tradewinds iced tea. You might think that it's impossible but in a land like ours, anything is possible. They all use their specialized skills and networking techniques to get the ingredients they need to meet the request of this tasty beverage.

Green Tea: Ever go into a Chinese food restaurant and find that they have free tea available? It's never bad, either. Why? Why would China skimp on one of their most prized exports? Green tea is simple enough to make and getting it direct from the source is the best way. The mole people create a sort of endless line of people to come into the restaurant, get a cup of tea, and bring it back to the "mixing headquarters." The people that work at the Chinese restaurant are not stupid and they see what's happening, but they know that their tea is being used for something great and they are fine with it.

Sugar: There are thousands of coffee shops in the metropolis that the mole people live in. Every day, much like the "Tea Getters", the "Sugar Getters" make multiple stops to get sugar packets from different coffee shops. They only get real sugar, too. They are instructed to only get real sugar or else they are off "project Tradewind." This job gives them a purpose and also puts food on the table so they oblige and only get real sugar.

Honey: This task is only for the most stealth and crafty as it involved stealing. The "Honeymen" go to stores and go into the condiment aisle where the honey is located. They look around to ensure that no one is watching and squeeze as much honey as they can into their pockets. Their pockets have been previously lined with plastic sandwich bags so as to eliminate any germs. They squeeze and if they are caught, they are instructed to run and drop a $5 bill. This way, even if they are caught, the sales associate that would have caught them sees the money and calls it even.

All of these ingredients are brought to the "Mixing Headquarters" where it is loaded into trucks and taken away by the people that manage "Project Tradewinds." They work their magic and that's how you find inexpensive, delicious tea on the shelves. It's a nice, natural tea taste with the smallest amount of bitterness and a great honey taste. Next time you see it, remember that the proceeds go to those less fortunate that help make your tea.

When you grow up you unfortunately are supposed to leave childish things behind. Lighting things on fire, playing with dolls, brushing your teeth with chocolate syrup, and so on. That's kid stuff. You're an adult. You wear a tie three out of five days a workweek and the other two you wear collared, golf shirts. You drive a sensible sedan that gets adequate mileage and you have two kids, one wife, and a dog. Your life is...regular.

You every once in a while you get a hankering to change it up. Sensibly that is. Responsibly. You usually do this by doing something that no one can see or doesn't affect your appearance and doesn't have any consequences. Today you went to the store to get something to drink before work and you grabbed a cup of coffee and you came across it. There it was, very red and very inviting, like a trashy 80's harlot. I'm talking high-heeled red leather shoes, red lipstick, short red dress, and hair with more volume than a Poison concert. Red Jacket Tart Cherry Stomp. The name was fun, the ingredients were minimalistic and you love cherries.

You pay the cashier, walk out into the street, open the bottle, take a sip, and let out a loud, "Wooo!" that Rik Flair would have approved of. Your cheeks involuntarily sucked into your face and the smile on your face went all the way from cheek to cheek. This drink tasted just like it said, tart cherries. You turned around and your boss was right behind you. You, quick on your feet, handed your boss the bottle asking him to take a sip. He did and let out a less convincing but still heartfelt "Wooo!" and handed the bottle back. You both saw eye to eye at that moment and would occasionally let out a quiet holler in the halls of the office at each other. Your boss was now your bro, and that's cool. You're a cool dude. You blended in a little bit over the years, but you've still got it.

It's official I am now terrified of black mambas. I was all, “Oh, they are just venomous snakes. You get bit, someone sucks out the poison, or you get some antidote and you're good to go.” Think again friendo. The black mamba is one of the most deadly venomous snakes in the world. If you get bit, it can take less than 20 minutes to kill you, and according to the internets, which we know never lies, “Chances of surviving the bite is less than none.” On top of that that are between 10 and 15 feet long. That is one big friggin` snake. It's terrifying I tell you.

Knowing the above information I now think this drink's tagline should be “Chances of feeling tired or sluggish is less than none.” Except they would spell less “lessssssss” to imitate the sound that snakes make, or don't really make in real life. This looks like a tiny can, but it's really the same amount of liquid as a normal size Red Bull. They are just pulling some spatial magic. I believe it's supposed to be a fruit punch flavored energy drink, but it tastes more like red Pixie Stix. I'm okay with that, and so should you. Sure it's got a bunch of artificial ingredients in it that would probably poison you if you consumed them in a large enough quantity, but hey they call it Venom for a reason. Now drink up and face the snake. Okay that was a better tag line. Someone really needs to hire us to write copy.

If you were a teenage slacker in the 90's like I was, you probably made several trips a day to a corner store/mini mart. They were a right of passage for our kind. It was somewhere to waste time and get junk food; a win-win situation. I drank more Brisk in my day than anyone probably should. I didn't know better. I was young and new to the iced tea game. I thought Brisk was great. I would have drunk it by the gallon if it was available in that large of a quantity. Basically, I was an idiot. Now I'm a grown ass man and I am a bit of a tea coinsure. I understand that Brisk is garbage tea. Actually, it probably shouldn't even be classified as tea, as it's more sugar than actual tea. Is there even any real tea in Brisk? That being said I haven't touched the stuff in quite a while.

Last week Mike and I went on a little shopping spree at a local super market to pick up some of the more common drinks that we have overlooked thus far for Thirsty Dudes. I ended up with this bottle of peach green tea Brisk. I knew it was going to be pretty gross, and at a liter it was going to get continuously worse. I drank it throughout the day at work and I was pretty spot on. I checked the ingredients and there is no mention of actual tea in it at all. The peach flavor is super intense. It doesn't taste like real peaches at all. It tastes like those gummy peach rings in the bulk section. It's basically fake peach flavored sugar water. Since it doesn't contain actual tea, it's not surprising that it doesn't taste like green tea. I would actually say that their version of green tea is really just a lighter version of their normal tea, which kind of remotely tastes like tea. Lipton I know you have it in you to make some quality teas. I'm tasted them and they are great. I think it's time you put the Brisk line to rest. You're better than it. You know it. I know it. The whole world knows it.

Nigel is a man with no free time. You see, everyone is always making plans for him. His parents, his boss, his kids, and his wife: all of them always predetermining everything that he does. Nigel wishes he could just sit back in the woods and relax with a nice cold birch beer and just enjoy the scenery. As it turns out he has no time for soda at all. You see his wife had already made plans for him to drink eight large glasses of water a day. Consuming that much water leaves little to no room for him to enjoy a nice frosty soda. It's sad times for Nigel. He remembers a simpler time before everyone told him what to do when he was a child in eastern Pennsylvania. He used to constantly drink Pennsylvania Dutch birch beer. Even now as he is sipping his fifth glass of water for the day he can remember how strong it smelled when he would twist off the top. His nostrils would be instantly greeted by the glorious smell of anise heavy birch beer. Oh man just thinking about that smell lets him pretend that the water he is drinking is actually that self same birch beer. Man, that smell is also apparent in the taste. It's so anise/licorice heavy. Also it had a reddish tint to it, which he always found strange and wondrous. Actually now that he thinks of it that birch beer tasted exactly how he would imagine root beer barrel candy would taste if it was birch been instead of root. Now that's a thought. He could have a batch of candy made to that specification. After all he was the heir to a candy fortune. What better way to spend his company's money and resources? It's not like he worked at British Steel. That would be a horrible life. Instead everyone makes plans for him and tells him what to do, but he will be fine with it, happy even, as soon as he can suck on some birch beer barrel candies while he works.

Attention! Alright you maggots, welcome to basic training. I will be your drill sergeant, Perry Como. The first one of you to make fun of my name or to refer to the singer who I happen to share a name with gets to clean the toilets for the next week with their toothbrush, and THEN brush their teeth with it. I'm here to whip you little sissy girls into shape. I will make you the men that you ought to be to defend our beloved country. Yes I know that is sexist, but guess what I'm a drill sergeant. I am supposed to be offensive and unpleasant. Haven't you ever seen a movie before?

As may of you may know Vitamin Water sponsors the United States Army. As each group of new recruits shows up at the base so does a pallet of one flavor of Vitamin Water. After getting a look at you children, it only seems fitting that you would be given such a froo froo drink as this blend of apples and watermelon. Oh and look these apples are from Fuji, well ooh la la aren't we fancy? You will not be given refreshments until you have completed each phase of your training. That being said you're first bit of training is that you will be running 20 miles out in a torrential downpour. Since it is not raining we have a machine that will simulate the storm. It will move with you around the track, dumping rain and wind on your heads like the king of Hades himself. As you run I will sit comfortably on a platform just outside of the storms range enjoying one of these girly drinks. Let me get prepared and open one up now, so you can watch the enjoyment on my face as to give you motivation. I will now take a sip and describe the flavor to you, so you can begin salivating like the dogs you are. Ahhhh. This really does taste exactly like some scientist somewhere found out a way to juice candy apples. It has the specific apple flavor that can only be given by a Fuji apple, but it also has the candy taste of the sugar coating. There is a slight watermelon flavor in it, but really it's mostly candy apple that I taste. It's wonderful to have that flavor without the mess that normally accompanies it. Also there is a whole mess of caffeine in here. It would make more sense for you to drink this before you run, but we're the army and we're cruel, so afterwards you're bodies will be exhausted, but your minds will be alert! Now get under that storm machine and start running!

Tina had had enough of her restless nights. She was a busy woman and she needed to be at the top of her game. You see she was in the middle of a big job at work that required her to be at the lab at 6am and she was sometimes there as late as 11pm. Whenever her friends complained about working too much, or being tired, all she had to do was shoot them a look and they would shut up immediately. Originally she had drunk coffee to help her stay alert, but her body became accustomed to it, and it stopped working well. She then moved onto your everyday energy drinks, but she really was never comfortable with all of the artificial garbage in them. On top of that they gave her the jitters and they also kept her up during the few hours that she actually had for sleeping. She was a mess and her research was suffering because of it. Then one day on one of her brief and rare breaks she wandered into a health food store and saw this little bottle of Guayaki. The bold pink letters of “Yerba Mate” stood out to her like the bat signal in the night sky. An all natural, organic drink that would work the way an energy drink should without advertising as being one. On top of all of that it was grapefruit and ginger flavored. It tasted like a typical yerba mate tea, you know earthy and bitter with a coating of agave and Stevia laden grapefruit juice to mix things up a bit. It was a bit more diety than she had hoped, but for an all natural energy drink that wouldn't make her feel crazy, she was happy to deal with it. She had also hoped that there would be a little kick from the ginger, but alas there was not. It only appeared in the faintest form of flavor. That day the gods looked down upon Tina and bestowed their grace upon her for her excellent work in the field of hotdog milkshakes. Her research would soon propel the world into a utopia where hotdogs and ice cream were properly fused into one glorious dessert drink.

Flo was a waitress who was always on her feet. From morning to night she worked in that diner serving chicken fried steak and steak fried chicken and delicious cinnamon pie. People would come from all around to get the best possible service from Flo. Problem is that Flo was a bit large. She was the nicest woman in the world, but easily clocked in at over three bills. Reason being is that for the last thirty-odd years she ate at the diner during lunch and dinner and the food there wasn't exactly healthy. Sure they had vegetables, but they had butter on them and came with a side of grits or mashed potatoes. Nothing diet-friendly would enter there. People knew that was why the food was so good. Home cooking at its finest.

When Flo stood on her scale at home before work it made her think that she had to do something or she wasn't ever going to get out of the rut she was in. She would work and have the cook make her a salad with vegetables with no butter and she drank a lot of water. The diner started carrying some Waist Watcher drinks there that she liked. The vanilla cream was her favorite. It tasted more like a vanilla candy rather than a cream soda because it was so sweet. It tasted like a diet pop but that's what Splenda will do to a drink.

Slowly but surely she started dropping pounds and the patrons started to take notice. Her tips started to increase because they knew how hard she was trying and in a couple years with hard work and a lot of diet pop, she got to a regiment that worked for her and lost all the weight that she gained over the past dozen or so years. She felt great thanks to unbuttered, unfried food, exercise, and Waist Watcher.

Max was a strange boy. He was obsessed with all things orange. Not only did he eat the fruit and drink the juice constantly, but he also used orange soap (hand and dish), burned orange scented candles and painted everything in his home the color. As I said there was something off about that Max boy. No one would ever expect this boy to come down with scurvy. A typical meal for him would be oranges to eat, orange juice to drink and for dessert he would put a little sprits of whipped cream on top of an orange slice. One day it dawned on him that he could recreate his dessert in the form of a beverage. He first tried mixing orange juice with whipped cream, but the cream ended up curdling and even though it tasted fine, the idea of it made him want to vom a little. On his second attempt he used orange soda with a little bit of orange juice mixed in and added the whipped cream to that, then mixed it all together into a uniform consistency. The result was subtler than orange cream sodas he had tasted in the past. Since he used whipped cream instead of the traditional vanilla cream, it wasn't as strong and didn't taste like a creamsicle as much. The flavor actually fell in-between that of an orange cream and regular orange soda. He decided to call it orange crème, so he could pretend he was fancy and foreign. As I said, Max was a strange boy. A strange boy whose complexion eventually turned orange, and not from tanning too much.

Can someone please tell me when the energy drink consortium signed an exclusive deal with the Wonka corporation for all energy drinks to taste like someone shot candy with a laser to make it a liquid. One would think it would be a normal flavor, but it is one that is exclusively used in sugar-based candies and in energy drink. It's the strangest thing. Even though this is a sugar free drink it still tastes like candy. How can something with no sugar taste exactly like something that is composed entirely of sugar? That is the “shock” in Shock Wave. It's a shock that this can taste so sweet and candylike, but be sugar free.

Oh and yes, this tastes like a variant of 95% of all energy drinks out there. It tastes slightly diet, but mostly like candy. Sweet, sweet candy.

This week I took my ladyfriend to Philly to go see Wild Flag, eat way too much food and hang out. She had never been to the city of brotherly love before, and it was a good time. No trip to Philly is complete without a stop at Wawa for soft pretzels, peanut chews, and iced tea. At the first Wawa we stopped at I decided to go with the Green Tea Mango. I have never seen it in the past, so I believe it may be a newer flavor. Either that, or I am just completely oblivious to my drink surroundings, and if that is the case I should probably just retire from this game. So I grabbed the tea, my two pack of pretzels and two packs of Goldenberg Peanut Chews. I made a wise choice. The tea was fantastic. One would think that a mini mart's store brand of tea would be garbage that was more sugar water than tea, but one would be wrong in forgetting the magically power that is Wawa. The tea is sweet, but in a good way. It's actually made from green tea, and not some powder. It's also sweetened with real sugar and not HFCS like most store brands. It has the dry/bitter taste of a somewhat quality green tea, with a mango flavoring that tastes authentic. I had barely made it two blocks before all of my purchases had been consumed. I should have opted for the larger bottle.