United States - 4098 Reviews

It's a well-known fact that by the time The Pixies recorded their third album Black Francis had taken over complete artistic control of the band. It turned into a “What I say goes” situation very quickly. There was actually only one time that the rest of the band put their foot down and refused to let him have his way. You see around this point Francis' lyrics were starting to get stranger and stranger. He was writing about outer space, aliens and for some reason superfruits.

In the break between Doolittle and this current album, he had gotten really into making juice. He made this one that he thought was superior to all others. He had combined the juices of acerola and peaches with some help from some oranges and mangoes into what he referred to as the uberjuice. He was so proud of this drink he had created that he wrote a song about it. He intended it to be the opener for his opus Bossanova. The band recorded the tracks and while everyone else was out at lunch, he downed a bottle of his juice and recorded the vocals as an ode to it. He sang about how the sour taste of the acerola cherries was evened out by the sweetness of the peach and mango juices making it incredibly smooth and delightful to drink. He also sang of the health benefits of the juice. One bottle contained 1200% of the recommended vitamin C for a day. Mostly he sang about how great the juice tasted and how he was going to put all other juice companies out of business with this juice that tasted like biting into a perfectly ripe peach while already having some acerola cherries half chewed in your mouth. It really did get graphic at times.

When the rest of the band returned from their lunch break they listened back to the track and shouted their disapproval. Not only was it just weird, but it also seemed like a big commercial for a company that Black Francis was going to start. Things got heated. Kim quit the band, but then rejoined shortly after. Francis finally agreed to remove the lyrics, but he refused to rewrite anything, hence the opening track on Bossanova is an instrumental. Strange times.

In 1993 the band finally broke up. Each member went their own way. Kim did The Breeders full time, Joey Santiago also continued in the music industry while drummer David Lovering took up metal detecting and magic. As you may know Black Francis started going by Frank Black and released a slew of albums. What you probably don't know is that he went big with his juice and he names his company Bossa Nova after the album that he first expressed his love of fruit on. You don't believe me? Rearrange the letters of the front of this bottle and it will read “Black Francis is the walrus, and a juice lover extraordinaire.”

I've had a long day. I hope the subway isn't packed. Oh, nice, it's pretty open. I've got my own bay of seats here. I can relax and stretch my legs out a bit...wait...what...oh man. This fat dude is standing right in front of and staring at me.

What sir? You want me to hold this glass? Where did you get this glass? It looks like you have a glass from home. That is what it is? Alright. I'll hold it. What are you doing with that backpack? Oh, what are you doing with that old shirt? You're putting it over the glass that I'm holding. Why are you doing this? Oh, in the backpack again. You are peeling an orange. I still don't know what I have to do with...are you making fresh squeezed orange juice on the subway? Why don't you just buy...another orange? Sir, I've got to recommend that you just go to the store and...another orange! I have orange juice all over my hand. Please. I don't want to do this anymore. Another orange? The glass is almost full. Sir? The glass is almost full. Sir. Sir!! Sir!! It's spilling over. Enough! Enough!

Here. I don't want to do this. You can have your shirt filled with orange rind and seeds and stuff and your glass. In your backpack again? For what and please don't let it be a knife. Oh, thank you. A Handi-Wipe for my hands. I appreciate it and am glad that...what? You want me to drink it? Sir, I don't mean to offend you, but I am not too keen about drinking subway orange juice from a man I don't know. In you backpack yet again. Oh. Woah! Woah! This time you do have a knife. I'll drink it. I'll drink it. This actually isn't too bad. If I may critique, I wish that you used a sweater next time instead of a shirt because although it's truly 100% juice, with no pulp and everything strained out, I would almost call you a liar if I didn't see you make this in front of my and with my help.

Here is your glass back. Thank you for the juice. I didn't see what was coming and although I don't really appreciate you threatening to stab me, I do appreciate the juice. That makes us even. Have a nice day. I'm going to take a long hot shower to wash the stick and filth off of me. Enjoy your night.

Name three fruits that are pretty intense in juice form. You chose cranberry, pomegranate and cherry all of which are correct answers. Straight up cranberry juice is pretty common and it's not super intense, but it can be fairly bitter if it's not sweetened properly. Have you ever drunk pure juice of the cherry or pomegranate? Now that is a wild ride. Ocean Spray has combined these three juices, along with apple and grape juices, into a concoction that is mild and pleasant. I really think it's the apple juice that smoothes it all out, but the three main flavors are all present in their own way. The cranberries and pomegranates swirl around each other and mix way nicer than you ever would expect. The Cherry is mostly there in the aftertaste. There is no sweetener added to it, which is the way juice should be.

Wow this was a boring textbook style review. Oh well it was a great juice, but there's really not much to say about it other than it's awesome.

Tea is wonderful. Tried and true, it has been perfected by some to a T. Those people did not make this tea. When I saw this tea in Derek's closet of drinks, I wanted it. I didn't tell him, but I wanted it. A nice sweet tea with cherry? I'll take it. When Derek was shedding weight for an easier move, I got this. Stoked. Today, to quench my thirst I could wait no longer.

I should have known that it wasn't going to be wonderful from the start. The first ingredients are sucrose, high fructose corn syrup, and instant tea powder. That's a slew of garbage if I've ever heard it. I enjoy sweet tea. As a matter of fact, I love it. This, friends, is not sweet tea. This is cherry juice with tea powder in it. Maybe tea powder with cherry powder in it. This is a drink. It's not classifiable, to me at least, as a tea or juice. It's just a drink. It tastes like bad instant tea mixed with bad cherry flavoring. It tastes like something you would make at home as an experiment, not like, and promptly throw out because it just didn't work like you expected it to in your head.

I understand you have a creative mind, Marburger Farm Dairy. I appreciate it. I really do. I have drunk hundreds of drinks and I have never had a cherry iced tea. After drinking this drink, I can unfortunately still say that.

This drink was a castaway in the sea of beverages that flows in and out of the homes of the Thirsty Dudes. We've reviewed 25 different drinks from Cintron, and I'm pretty sure this is the last one left. When Derek left to move back to Portland last week Mike and I raided his cupboards and stole all of the drinks that he wasn't going to be able to take with him. I personally expected it to be the lowest of the low like Mike and I have sitting around, the things we are just dreading writing reviews for. As it turns out there were quite a few gems in there, this being one of them.

For such an unusual flavor for iced tea, it doesn't seem that odd when you drink it. Sure orange has been in hot tea for eons (literally eons, are you calling me a liar?) but how often do you see it in an iced variety. I have seen possible 2 or 3 companies that have it in their product line. Raspberry? That's old news. Combine the two and you have something new and exciting that doesn't taste too extreme. Fill up a glass for a friend and dollars to donuts they wouldn't even ask about the flavor, yet when you know the flavor you detect a subtle orange flavor hidden in an otherwise ordinary raspberry tea. It's great, and I'm glad we got to potentially close out this company with yet another great review.

I would like to start off by saying that I miss hot Warheads. Sure, sour might make a better drink, but as a candy, it was far more thrilling to have something burning your mouth than squeeze your cheeks together. I just had to get that out of the way. These kids and their sour candy don't know what we had to go through as kids. End transmission 1.

Begin transmission 2: This is just how you think it would be. It's sour, ultra tangy, and has that gross Sunny D sting. It's a bit reminiscent of the candy but less concentrated. The candy was fun because it was a game where the longer you kept it in your mouth the better or the more you can keep in your mouth the cooler and tougher you were. This is drinkable and totally drinkable. There's no game. That's what I liked about all branches of Warheads is the self-punishment of it all. I don't feel like I've earned anything but cavities when I drink this and it makes me sad and makes me miss my childhood. The black cherry flavor isn't bad and I'm sure that all kids would go bonkers over it. Oh man, remember Bonkers? Those were awesome. If they made a Bonkers drink, I would buy it and as gross as I know it would be, drink it.

This...eh. They've nailed their demographic. The demo that they used to have will get no love back because we're a generation of, "Their earlier stuff was better." Bunch of jerks if you ask me.

S - Hey man I have an awesome drink for you to try.

L …€“ Oh that's cool. What is it?

S …€“ You don't even know man it's Way 2 Cool.

L …€“ Okay well what is it?

S …€“ No man, the company is called Way 2 Cool. It's ginger ale.

L …€“ Oh I like ginger ale. Let me have a taste…€¦..There is definitely something off about this ginger ale. Are you sure it's not about a decade expired?

S …€“ No man, that's just the barley malt in it.

L …€“ To quote my ex-roommate, “That's the kind of thing you tell a goddamn man!” Seriously malt beverages can be decent, but it's not the kind of thing that you sneak up on someone. If you don't know it's there the drink just tastes like it's gone bad.

S …€“ Dude, malt makes everything better…€¦.like liquor.

L …€“ Okay, you're just an idiot, and this drink isn't very good. It's most certainly isn't “Way 2 Cool.” Actually it's barely passable. I don't even think I could finish this bottle. I like malt when it's mixed with apple or pineapple, but it does not mix well with ginger. If it wasn't for that stupid malt this would have actually probably been a decent ginger ale. It has real ginger in it, plus limejuice and cinnamon. I bet it would have been interesting, and more than likely tasty. Here I sit though trying to make it through this weird malt that is overpowering every other flavor, while somehow slightly tasting like moldy bread. I can't believe that there is no mention of malt on the label besides the ingredients list. It's just going to turn off 99% of the people that would buy this. Also dude, why on Earth does this label say “Free Tibet and Taos?” Isn't that a bit insulting? I mean grouping in human rights activists with a couple of snowboarders that want a town to let them ride there? I'm beginning to think a bunch of suburban hippies started this company, and that makes sense why it tastes like garbage. Those type of hippies ruin everything.

S …€“ But dude! If you drink to the top of the label and put in orange juice it's a straight-edge brass monkey!

L …€“ Oh my god, you are an idiot. Please never give me another drink. Actually, please never speak to me again. I think I became dumber in this brief conversation.

Dear The FDA,
Can we get a little stricter on ingredient lists? I mean what constitutes natural flavoring? I could soak muddy rocks in a vat of water, would that fall under the category of natural flavoring? Take this can of Noah's for instance. It's a nice little drink. It's obviously flavored soda water, but the ingredients only like carbonated water and natural flavoring. Since the can also states that it contains 0% juice, I want to know what it is that I'm drinking that is creating that berry pomegranate flavor. I like the flavor, a lot actually. This reminds me a lot of the Dry Sodas. I hate seltzer water, but I really enjoy those, and I enjoy this a good deal as well. The Dry bottles list what is flavoring them though. This is just natural flavoring. Does that mean that they just soaked fruit in the carbonated water and then strained them out? How about a little guidance here? I like this drink it's lightly flavored sparkling water that makes you feel like an adult, even though it looks like it's marketed towards kids. If you could get kids hooked on this stuff instead of regular soda, the world would be a better place. I'm just the curious sort. Also, what is this that I've been hearing that if a drink has less than 4 calories, companies can now claim them to be zero calories? FDA, you either need to go back to school for some basic arithmetic, or stop being such a liar.
Sincerely,
The Thirsty Dudes

For the first time in the history of the world this orange juice is now available to the general populace. No longer do you need to be descended from royalty in order to enjoy its splendor. As recently as three months ago if someone was found with even an ounce of this juice on his or her person, or in his or her home, and they could not produce the proper paperwork to prove their lineage they would be tar and feathered. It was an old, outdated law on the books, but for some reason every law agency in the free world enforced it; unlike the law that states that it is illegal to put squirrels down your pants for the purposes of gambling. That one never seems to be enforced.

Here we now are at the dawn of a new era and congress has made an amendment to the constitution stating that no man (or woman) will be denied their constitutional right to delicious juice. One taste and you will understand why all those kings and queens of old would want to keep this drink all for themselves. It is nothing but organic orange juice, but it is some of the best orange juice I have ever tasted. One could easily believe that it was in fact this juice that kept them noble. It is sweet and citrusy without being overly acid in any way. If you were a betting man you might say that one could drink an entire gallon of this juice in one sitting and not get a stomachache. No betting man would say that about Minute Maid or Tropicana. It is a good day for the common folk, so don your makeshift crowns and drink a bottle or two. Its your day to play king.

I am not terribly susceptible to advertising. I find myself to be smarter than that. I don't know why, but I feel I'm wired a little bit differently. That being said, I was completely sold when I saw the billboard for this drink. I wish I had an image for it, but allow me to explain it to you. It was forty feet tall, had chocolate whipped cream, and chocolate shavings. The only thing wrong was that it was a latte. Now you know that I am not coffee's number one fan. I never sent a self addressed stamped envelope to the Coffee Fan Club like I wanted to for the White Zombie fan club in 1996.

I went to one of the near trillion Tim Horton's around me and bought a small, you know, to test it out. I then drove about twenty minutes to the grocery store and didn't touch the thing. In the parking lot, I took a couple sips. It was alright but a bit too coffee for me. That being said, I'm no dumb stupid idiot. It was decent coffee with a decent chocolate/mocha taste, a medium to dark chocolate. I was ready to give it a pretty mediocre review. I came back after an hour of grocery shopping and took another sip. Better. I got home, brought in some groceries, checked the status on the Trials Evolution release date which will never be public, and then went downstairs and we were finally where we wanted to be. The drink had dropped down in temperature to "room level" status. That's where it's at. I easily drank the rest of it with no problems.

Next time I get it, if I do get it, I will probably get it, put it in the fridge for an hour, and then drink it. I like iced coffee but this was too close to a regular coffee with chocolate in it at standard temperature. Canadians, I am sorry that I am ruining your perfectly good coffee, but I am an adult and can do whatever I want.

After riding my bike around on a nice pseudo spring day I worked myself into a Zen-like state. To be fair being out in the sun for a while after a few months of winter (mild or not) will do that to a person. I decided to celebrate my brief inner peace with a bottle of Zico Tao Mango coconut water. I've really come a long way in enjoying these beverages over the past two years. From hatred, to passable, and now they are just enjoyable. Apparently to the fine folks at Zico Tao is a pseudonym for cinnamon. This tastes like cinnamon and mango (and of course coconut water). It was an unexpected flavor to have wash over my tongue, but it is enjoyable. The ingredients say nothing about it containing cinnamon, but maybe that falls under the "natural flavors." I would have never thought of mixing mango and cinnamon, but Zico must have gotten my message I wrote yesterday about companies halting their production of peach mango drinks. See you can think outside of the box and have great results. My girlfriend says it tastes like tanning oil, but what does she know? She's surely not a scientist.

An open letter to the beverage world,

Folks, don't you think you've beaten it into the ground? Perhaps we should just let it die in peace. Peaches are great. Mangoes are wonderful. When you combine the two they make a nice couple. You know the kind that will date for a few years, eventually get married and go on to have a nice respectable family. Everyone likes to know a couple or two like that, but no one wants to be surrounded by nothing but couples like that. It leaves one feeling like something is wrong with them for not being a part of such a wonderful couple. Then the non peach-mango will get desperate and try to pair itself with anything to be like the happy couples. That just isn't good for anyone. Am I making any sense? Of course I'm not. My point in that it seems every drink company out these days has a peach mango option. It's been overdone and it's no longer exciting. It used to be one of my favorites, but I no longer look forward to reviewing drinks of this flavor. I know you folks have more in you, so be creative. Match up some other fruits. I bet a passionfruit/dragonfruit would make for a wonderful wedding.

Sincerely,
Jason & The Thirsty Dudes.

ps. This actually has a decent peach/mango flavor to it, but for some reason they decided to add sucralose along with the sugar and crystalline fructose in here and you catch hints of it. I have no idea why they added it, but one serving still contains 42g of sugar, so it obviously wasn't to keep the calories down. Also if I didn't know there was milk in this I don't know if I would realize it was there, except for a little extra creaminess. Knowing it's in there grosses me out a little. I'm going to guess that 95% of this drink is all water, sweetener and milk. Take a second to think about making that in your kitchen. You wouldn't want to drink it then, so why would they put it in here? I don't see what it's there for at all. Take it out and maybe this drink would have gotten 4 bottles. As it is Derek is off crying because a cow was raped to make this drink. Fuze, why did you have to go and make Neulando Calrissian cry?

Alright men, this is it. This is the one that we have to win with. Thirsty Dudes have not given us a good review of any of the drinks we've made so this one has to count. Let's give it everything we've got. No fruit flavor since they consistently do not like it. I don't know why. I mean, it's not the best but it's not the worst. So let's do what we do best.

Gentlemen, I see that you've all worn your sneakers, white T's, blue jeans, and leather jackets. Max, I see that you've worn a jean jacket, that's cool, too. What I've gathered you all here to do is make the ultimate cool drink. I'm dubbing it "Triple Chill" and we're giving it all we've got. All chill, no funny business. Let's get to work. We're doing a 24 hour work shift. I'm going to get pizza and pop for everyone for lunch and dinner. A cool set of meals for a cool set of dudes.

Alright. Guys, I would like to thank you for a job well done. You have worked very hard and have made a lot of drinks and I am sending a couple bottles to the Thirsty Dudes. We made this for the masses but we had Thirsty Dudes in mind. Let's see what they have to say.

One week later
Guys! They reviewed it. I didn't even read it. I just printed it out so that I could read it. Everyone into the conference room in five minutes. I'll read it. Here's what it says:

Pure Cool has done it again. A strange tasting minty drink that misses the mark just about everywhere. I don't know what they use for mint but every sip tasted like I was drinking the water out of a urinal. You know when you pee on those urinal cakes and it is that strange minty-ness? That's what this tastes like. I did appreciate no fruit as that would have made this drink a complete abomination. I think that if humans ate plastic, and that plastic was mint flavored, that is what this drink is. Start a fire. Sit back in your nice leather chair and put your feet up. Pop a couple of minty plastic chips in your mouth and enjoy the night. That's what this drink makes me want to do. Ahh, to be a plastic ingesting human is to enjoy a bottle of Pure Cool Triple Chill.

I...I don't know what to say...We all worked so hard. Jim...you tested it, right? It was good wasn't it? Maybe there's just something wrong with the Thirsty Dudes. Yeah, that has to be it. Those guys have a messed up palate. These drinks are great and we are not in denial. They don't like them. So what. We're still in business, aren't we? Then let's keep doing what we do best! Back to work! Pizza for everyone!

While on a recent trip to the Philippians Franklin went to a restaurant to get himself a nice lunch. He had spent his morning climbing and exploring the Taal volcano and had worked up quite the hunger and thirst. As he is prone to do he asked his waiter to put a lime in his water instead of a lemon. He read somewhere that lemons in restaurants are full of germs and bacteria since they are left out and workers tended to cut them with bare hands. As per usual logic did not surface in the mind of our fair protagonist and to him limes were as clean as can be. The waiter informed him that he was sorry, but the restaurant did not have any limes. Now Franklin did not like being lied to. On his way into the restaurant he had seem into the kitchen and there was crate upon crate of limes. He had even thought to himself that he had never seen so many limes in his life. To be fair you don't run across large congregations of citrus in western Pennsylvania. Franklin began to raise his voice and it took a whole two minutes of him giving the waiter a piece of his mind before the server could get a word in edgewise to inform Franklin that those were not limes, but calamansi. He then informed his guest that it was a different sort of citrus fruit that tasted like god put a lemon, a lime and an orange in his heavenly blender and then shoved the result back into a skin that looked like a lime, but was actually sweet. Being a man who likes to get a taste for local fare, Franklin asked if he could have a wedge of calamansi in his water. His server told him he would do him one better and bring him a glass of his island famous calamansi juice. It was his grandmother's recipe that was a mixture of the fruits juice, cane sugar and a little bit of honey for flavor. He warned Franklin that it was a bit acidic so he should not drink it on an empty stomach and urged him to eat some of the complimentary bread on the table while he went to fetch a glass. Franklin was no dummy, he knew to never fill up on free bread at a restaurant. He was a well-read man who had read that factoid somewhere (he just forgot the part about not doing that at buffets). He didn't touch the bread and when the glass was set before him, he chugged it down like a true Pennsylvanian. The waiter had not lied this was a tasty and refreshing drink that did in fact taste like the description he gave. It also tasted like the rind was left on the fruit when it was blended, but that was not a bad thing. It had a sweetness to it, but there was not so much sugar added to eliminate the tartness of the fruit. He could also taste the honey. It wasn't very strong, but it was there enough that he noticed it. It was basically lemonade made with this exotic fruit instead of dirty old lemons. This was something that Franklin would rave about when he got back to the States. He let out a huge burp and asked for three more glasses to be brought out. He would forgo his meal in order to fill up on this delicious juice. The waiter tried to talk some sense into him, but Franklin would not hear it. He was a grown man and he knew what was best for him, or so he thought until a half hour later when he left the restaurant with the worst gut rot of his life. Let this be a lesson to you; always have some food in your stomach when you drink something with a high citrus concentration. Franklin would never make that mistake again, well at least not until he ran into another exotic fruit that was new to him.

Sometimes there is nothing to do but not go to work and stay home and read a whole mess of comics. Did you know that the Erie County Library has more graphic novels than most comic shops I've been in? True fact. I've delved into their stock a bit here and there but today I went overboard and checked out nearly 30 collections. Hey it's cold and slightly snowing and I just want to kick back and relax. That includes drinking a nice dark soda. I would have preferred to accompany my comics and licorice with a root beer, but the only brown pop I had cold was this cola. Fear not, it paired well. I think a pop company should have recommendations on their sodas like wines do. You know like “Pair this Chardonnay with poultry,” but instead it would be things like “Pair this Mountain Dew rip off with video games” or in the case of this drink “Pair with Batman or Ex Machina.” I'm currently following this fictitious beverage association to a T.

Johnny Ryan has yet to disappoint me. This is a cost that is very obviously sweetened with cane sugar. Out of all of the sodas in the world cola benefits from this particular sweetener the most. It just brings out the flavors in a way that other sweeteners can't. I feel like this should be described the same way as one would a good root beer, so I will do just that. It's dark and full-bodied. My only complaint is that when you get to the point where there is about 1/5 of the bottle left the flavor gets a bit weak. It's strange because usually the end of a drink is stronger due to settling, but not in this case.

The first time I ever had a Rockstar drink was also the first time that I had an energy drink. It was around 2003 and I was at the skate park hanging out and this dude who just got back from California and brought us back these tall drinks. It was a very generous and thoughtful gesture. We all took a sip and, like we have all said in most reviews, it tasted like a trillion Smarties crushed up in a crappy tea. From that point on, I didn't drink energy drinks until I started doing this site. A lot has happened to the world since my unsuccessful gateway drug into the downward spiral that is energy drinks has now pulled a switcheroo and started making relaxation drinks.

First sip of this knocked me off my seat. Not because it was good but because it was infinitely "diet." Sting and all. The flavor was quite the kick in the pants, too. I cannot argue that it is tropical guava flavor but it has been so candied and dieted that guavas worldwide should be insulted to be affiliated with this drink. It's just ramped up to eleven and doesn't let go to your mouth or throat.

Cut to an hour later and I could have taken a nice nap. I'm not a stressful man by any means and I actually hate naps. Do you know when the weather is just dreary and gray and it's like three in the afternoon, nothing is on TV, you don't want to play video games and you decide that you're going to just take a nap? That's what this drink was like. I felt quiet inside. I felt...not bored...but like my body was telling me that there is nothing better to do than take a nap. An hour after that, thankfully, it wore off and I was back to my normal self.

I'm drinking the other half that I didn't want to drink because I've got to do a bit of driving in the very near future and I don't want to be sleepy while doing so. We'll see what happens. If you don't hate diet drinks and need to calm down because you're a spazz of have self-diagnosed yourself with a sleeping disorder that could easily be fixed by you not drinking so many darn cups of coffee or energy drinks, compound your addictive nature and get this. If you just want to relax and care what you ingest, get a Marley's. I would choose it ninety-nine times to this.

Powder drink mixes are great. They fit in small, secret locations so you can have a drink made out of water that you can buy anywhere. This tea is surprising, it is because the white tea leaves and blueberries and yes, a little bit of artificial sweetener, were zapped with a sweet laser that just turned whatever it hit into powder. The company sets up the leaves and everything on a special table in a special room, put on their protective goggles and zap away carefully. Once everything was powderized, they would take the janitors broom, climb on top of the table, and sweep the powder into a garbage can to be brought to the packaging facility.

The answer to your question is "yes." "What question?" you ask? The question of "Do they shoot other things with that sweet laser?" Yeah, dude. It's the ultimate prank prop. They powderize people's shoes and put the powder back in their locker. They powderize some of the people's food, like sandwiches and stuff, and put it back in the tupperware with a Post-It note that says "Just Add Water" and put it back in the fridge. They have a lot of fun but they never are unsafe around the laser. They know its powerful powers and do take safety precautions around it.

With this tea they created, they actually got it down. Nice, light bitterness, good berry flavor, and although it is a bit diet, it's better than regular, bottled diet iced teas. The bitterness covers up any nasty dietness that arises pretty quickly.

I don't know if they are hiring, but they will, for a small fee, powderize anything you want them to. You just need to supply a container to get rid of the dust and you also need to clean it up. They're not working for you. Also, a powderized ham sandwich tastes just as good in a little bit of water. It's frightening, but true.

Karma was a stripper who was fantastic at her job but in need of a career change. She was great, though. She could take off her clothes faster than anyone else. That's what makes a good stripper, right? Who can take their clothes off faster? Isn't stripping a race? That's a sidebar. Anyhow, Karma loved fitness and when she wasn't at work, shakin' it, she was at the gym or jogging or eating healthy. She was the model of fitness. She was also attractive enough to be a model. She noticed when she was at the gym that people were just drinking water and she thought that something could be done about it.

So she grabbed some chewable vitamins and drink mix, put them in a little pouch, and started selling them to people at the gym as a type of water enhancer. You would get the hydration you needed from the water, the vitamins that would help you with the workin' outs, and the flavor to make it all go down easier. Francis Frankson was a budding investor who also worked at the same gym saw what Karma had come up with and thought that with some light tweaking, this could be a hit product.

Cut to three months later and the company Karma was born. Francis set Karma up with a bottler and a spring water supplier and found a company that would sell them the powder mix at wholesale and the kicker is that they partnered with a bottlecap maker who designed a cap that would store the mix. People all around would write Karma letters telling her that the Balance drink was a good tasting drink that tastes more juicy than Flinstone vitamin. Success! Karma was an entrepreneur and could leave her job at Bouncin' Booties.

I am about to embark on an epic journey across the entire country. After 10 months living in Buffalo, I've decided to pack up and move back to Portland, OR. I would like to say it's because of the crappy season the Bills had, or that I need to take one for the team and review all the Hot Lips soda flavors and the only way to do that would be to move back out west. In reality, I just miss Portland. Plus my best friend (the one who helped name this very website you are reading) lives there and I miss her dearly.

I decided to review this soda as my last drink in Buffalo. I love all three ingredients and after the stellar reviews we've been giving Joia, I was pretty sure this was going to be a homerun. The pineapple/coconut mixture is the most prominent, but sadly the nutmeg is nowhere to be found. I would have settled for a subtle nutmeg aftertaste, but it is literally on the back of a milk carton. Just like the last Joia soda I had, the last ingredient was the one I was most excited for. But both times, I was let down.

32 oz of the worst energy drink ever. Instead of being on the 'cutting edge' of huge cans, they should work on making one that a normal human can enjoy. I'm so disgusted at this drink that I'm not even going to give it the courtesy of an amusing story.