United States - 4098 Reviews

Why don't more people make melon pop? Who doesn't like melon? It's so darn refreshing. I personally like cantaloupe more than honeydew, the flavor of this drink, but if either are available at a party, and I am there, you had better make your plate sooner than later because I am going to house that thing like I haven't eaten in days. When I was on a cruise over the Fall I probably ate ten pounds of fruit. I love it. Melon is great. I love it. The end.

This pop is probably the best melon pop I've ever had. It's sweet and right on the cusp of too sweet but it's not there so it's acceptable. It tastes remarkably like actual melon, not like candy melon, which, I will also append, there is not enough of. It was actually refreshing and that's not something that happens when I drink dranks. Yeah, dranks.

Buy it. Love it. Do you like melon? Do it, son!

When I got this pouch, I figured it was an all in one drink mix so I filled up my water bottle, poured this in, and mixed it around a little. Then I took a sip and couldn't believe how bad it tasted. It didn't taste like much, but it tasted like bad water. Then it hit me: you're supposed to add this to an already flavored drink. I'm an idiot.

So basically, this is to give your drink a kick of energy (hence the name of the company). Speaking of the name of this company, they might want to consider changing it since people might mispronounce it as a racial slur.

This is a weird sub-section of drinks, because it's impossible to fairly judge it on it's taste because it's not meant to be consumed on it's own. As far as function goes, it's great! I was feeling sleepy and now I'm totally awake after drinking half of it.

After my disappointment with yesterday's birch beer I needed a soda that would be redeeming. While I have issues with Johnnie Ryan because I have emailed them several times about their products and I have never heard back from them, I also know that they know what they are doing when it comes to making soda. Also, they are local to us so that makes it hard to stay mad. One of the emails I actually sent to the company a couple of years ago was regarding whether or not their birch beer would be made available in bottles. I had a glass of it in a “fair/carnival” themed restaurant in the mall once and it was pretty great. As I said I never got a response, but here I am with a bottle in front of me, so I guess the answer to my question was “Yes.”

The Mercury Brewing Company messed up their birch beer pretty bad, but Johnnie Ryan got everything right. The bottle doesn't mention it, but the cardboard the four packs come in say that it is “black birch beer.” I was intrigued by this, but assumed it was just a quirky name. Wrong. This is the darkest birch beer I have ever tasted. The store in the mall was correct to carry this as their main beverage because it definitely falls under the category of “fair birch beer,” but they took it further and made it very dark, full bodied and flavorful. This is a new product in bottle form and I really hope it sticks around. I always have a hankering for some birch beer, and it can be a pain to find a decent one around these parts.

To sum things up, this may be the best birch beer I have ever tasted. You should definitely pick some up if you see it. Also, Johnnie Ryan you make great sodas, just try to get better at responding to emails. Your mother wants to make sure you're doing okay out there by the falls.

When you hear the words “birch beer” you get certain expectations in your head. Images of a root beer that has evolved dance across your mind. It's crisp. It's clean. It's woodsy. One thing that does not enter your thoughts is vanilla. Definitely not crappy vanilla, that is for sure. Yet, that is what is in this bottle. It taste like the company had a vat that was 1/3 filled with birch beer, and when they went to make more they accidentally put in the ingredients for cream soda. In a blind taste test I would guess that this was a store brand cream soda that someone put a little extra baking vanilla into. Would I be wrong, or would Mercury Brewing Company be wrong for claiming this was a birch beer? You be the judge. Actually don't waste your time and money on it.

I submit this to the neurons in your brain that receive the messages from your taste buds in order to distinguish flavor. In front of you sits an enormous apple. It's the biggest apple you have ever beheld with your eyes. You need both hands in order to list it. You toss it in the air a little to feel the heft of it, and what a heft it has. You look it over for a bit and then somehow your jaw unhinges in order for you to take a proper bite. It is the juiciest apple you have ever eaten. The juice is just pouring down your chin. It's an apple's equivalent to a tidal wave of juice. You have never tasted a fresher or more well rounded apple.

Some how Snapple has somehow captured this experience in a bottle. They have created a beverage that tastes more like eating the best apple ever than any other apple juice ever has in the past. It even has the taste of the apple skin in it somehow. I think somewhere someone rolled a 20-sided die and this is what they created in their fantasy world. Somehow it was brought into real life, and the world thanks the dungeon master in charge.

I didn't want to review this. I just wanted something to drink. I figured, hey, I've got like eight of these things, so I can casually drink it. Oh, no. I now don't know what I'm going to do with the other approximately seven packs because this is vile. I was not at all expecting what was going to happen when I drank it. No, it's not like I got hair on my palms or anything like that. It just made me make a face every time I drank it. I thought, "Hey, tropical. Rad." and now it's like a 60/40 vegetable/fruit combo kit that is 100% undesirable. It's like someone is feeding me a pineapple, except they bored out the core and crammed a giant carrot in it and are forcing me to eat this bastard food.

Roger Waters Knudsen, or whatever R.W. stands for, this is not for me. Is that why I found it at a Big Lots? Probably. Good luck getting rid of them. I hope your customers don't read this before they buy it. I don't want to knock anyone out of business, but this is just plain terrible. Wish me luck on the grape because I bought that, too. I'm a supporter with a strange taste in my mouth.

An open letter to Arnold Palmer,

Arnold Palmer, I assume you are a smart man. You've got a drink named after you and now a series of them have come out and I can only re-assume that you are doing well from them. I don't know what caliber of golfer you are, but I guess they wouldn't give just anyone a drink. You probably have a whole closet of gold jackets. Is it gold or green? I get real golf and Happy Gilmore golf confused. Can you tell that I don't follow golf? My daddy loves golf. He will soon scorn me for my rudeness and lack of research as he did when I was in my teens, barely scraping by in high school. Mr. Palmer, you have been cartooned on some of these cans, and for this can in particular, you are just hanging out in what looks like a peach orchard wearing some nice golf wingtips with your nice pup looking admiringly at you. Are you just driving balls into the orchard? Do you own the orchard? Have you been planning this venture since this theoretical sketch was taken? Was this taken from a real photograph? I've got questions and you've got answers.

Once you are done answering the above questions, I would like to tell you what I think of your drink. Firstly, I would like to preface that I am a bit of a professional in my field. You can't tell by this review or about 80% of the other reviews that I have done and now that I write that, I doubt my own professionalism. I don't like peaches. I would never eat a peach and I don't care if I go the rest of my life without eating one. You probably think at this stage that your drink is not going to get a great review. Allow me to continue. Diet drinks are typically the pits as well. This drink absolutely tastes like there is "something diet" going on in there. Yes, "something diet" is a bad thing and yes, I have noticed, and yes, you will be penalized for it.

With all of that being said, there is a decent enough "everything else" taste that balances it out. Peaches don't taste terrible, I just don't like them but I like them in a drink. If I want you to analyze that, I will pay you like a psychiatrist. I will pay you as a psychiatrist only if you have the proper chez lounge. I've come to just accept that this is the way that your tea tastes. I would love to try this with real sugar but that's me being a snob and trying to improve on a man's life's work. You wanted this to come out like this and it did. I can't penalize you for that. It's not bad. You've hidden it enough to be drinkable. It's got a fair lemonade taste, fair peach taste, and I can't really taste any tea.

Arnold, I'm going to pass right through the niceties and call you by your given name. Arnold, you've done a fine job here and I congratulate you in your endeavors on the links and in business. Do people still call it "the links?" It's catchy. I like it better than "the green." Anyhow, I hope this finds you well and you have continued success in both.

I've been craving candy lately. Sweet Tarts, Twizzlers, and Spree are usually my go-to candy. The problem is that the corner store by my house has all their candy behind the counter due to hooligans stealing it. I'm pretty comfortable with watching cartoons and drinking an obscene amount of soda at the age of 30, but for some reason I can't bring myself to ask the man behind the counter for a bag of Skittles.

But that's okay because thanks to energy drinks, I get my candy fix every once in a while because 99% of them are melted candy in a can. This one is Sweet Tarts, and it's great! It's got a bit of a gnarly diet aftertaste, but it's not as bad as most diet energy drinks.

You know what, Mr. Waitress; I'm sick and tired of this. I come here day after day and I don't know why. You always get my order wrong, all of the wait staff has a terrible attitude and the pop is usually flat. I got one exceptional meal here and I won't give this place up because I feel that one day it will be that good again. It hasn't been. I've been keeping my mouth shut for months now but this is the last straw.

The only think I asked for is sweet tea and you only have diet. It's not awful, but it's half way to really diet tasting. To make matters worse, you only had enough for half a glass. Now what am I going to do with this. I just filled up on crackers and I am exceptionally thirsty. Mix it with something? What do you propose? Lemonade? Who do I look like, Arnold freakin' Palmer. Yeah, sure. Lemonade me up.

Oh, and another thing. I can't stand...when...the thing is...I...I...I'm sorry. I've had a rough day and all I wanted was a Black and Blue burger. When you brought me a bacon burger, it was half the straw that broke the camel's back. The half diet lemonade was now the savior because this isn't half bad. Sure, it's still a little diet, but the lemonade saves it. It tastes like "kid-made" lemonade. This might be some of the best diet half and half I've ever had.

You, my good sir, have done it. "Done what" you ask? You have roped me into coming here again and again now that you gave me this. It's redeeming. Please, sir. I just ask you one more simple thing. Do you have any more chocolate cream pie? I saw it on your specials board. You don't. Well, how about that. Let down again. You'd better have this concoction in here next time I come or I'm really going to make a stink!

I do not want this. No, really I do not want to drink this. I've somehow gained a crazy sensitivity to caffeine and the like. It's gotten so bad that if I drink an energy drink after 3PM I won't fall asleep until at least 4am. The other day I drank a regular old Coke at midnight and was up until 5am. I don't know what has happened, but I hate every second of it. I like sleep. It's where I'm a Viking. I don't want to limit my Viking time. It's now 10:30am and I'm about to go out for a day of hiking. Here I sit waiting to get picked up, and I decided I should drink an energy drink to help push me through the hike. Ugh all I have left is the dreaded Redline. It's dreaded because Neuland, who drinks energy drinks by the gallon, said it was the most intense energy drink he's ever had. Ugh. I bet If I drink this now I won't sleep until 48 hours from now.

Weird, this doesn't taste like an energy drink. It tastes like some low-grade juice you would get out of a crappy roadside vending machine, but not as thick. It's supposed to be peach mango, and I get that in the aftertaste, but while it's in your mouth it's just nondescript juice. I guess that's better than energy drink garbage. It's also clear and non-carbonated.

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It's now 9:15PM and I just got home. I'm still very hyper from this drink. Not crazy hyper, but I definitely notice it. It was probably a terrible idea for me to drink this and then drive a lengthy distance, because I am a terrible driver to begin with, and this just made me crazier. To sum this up, it tasted better than most energy shots, and it certainly works on the energy front.

In less than 2 weeks, I will no longer be living in Buffalo. I am returning to where this website was started, Portland, OR. While I won't miss the snow or the bitter cold winter here, I will miss Wegmans. I've been to grocery stores all across the country, and none have ever compared to Wegmans. Trust me, it's a great store.

What's not so great is this diet cola they make. It has the patented battery acid taste that comes with most diet drinks. It's a cheap soda and it shows in its taste. Wegmans is amazing, but I think it's a natural law that it can't be awesome at everything or else the world might explode.

Carmen hates to take his vitamins so his mom decided to do it the dumbest way possible; make a game out of it. Some parents say something like "You don't get any dessert if you don't take your vitamins." You could do the old fashioned "Go to your room until you're ready to take your vitamins." or something along those lines. It doesn't need to be punishment, either. It could just be something kids have to do. "Look kid. Do you want brittle bones, weak joints, or jaundice? You don't have to know what it is, just take your vitamins. Medicine has come a long way since I was a kid. I'd kill for medicine that tastes like slightly chalky candy. My brothers and I used to throw up when my parents gave us medicine so you take your candy medicine and shut up." That's informative.

Carmen's mom though, she hides vitamins in things. She essentially drugs her kids. I know that sounds bad, but you can't really think about it any better way. This time, she puts vitamins in her kids Kool-Ade and gives it to them with a straight face. No second thoughts. Just “Here's your "juice" kids.” To make it even worse, the kids love it and when they ask for more, she has to string the lie out because she's not going to give the kids more vitamin/juice mix and if she just makes them juice, they're know that it tastes differently.

A lady from the CPS came to inspect the home life of adopted Carmen and they asked how she gave her kids medicine. Carmen's mom didn't hesitate for a second. After tasting it, she saw why she did it. It tasted good. It tastes like a fruit juice and vitamins but the flavor is so good that you don't care at all that it might or might not have vitamins in it. The lady from CPS left leaving Carmen's mom with a warning that eventually she will have to stop doing this because all kids have to take some vitamins.

I lasted through almost the entire winter without succumbing to sickness, and then this week it finally hit me. I felt like “cold diarrhea on a paper plate.” I drank obscene amounts of juice to an extent that my stomach was in pain. Yeah, I'm an idiot. I'm on the mend now, but still feeling a little bit on the terrible side. Lucky for me MBS sent us a nice package of their vitamin shots. I wish I would have had these when I first started feeling like doo-doo, but oh well any help is accepted by me.

I expected this to taste completely horrible as most things in shot form do, but the folks at My Body Shots supplied me with a pleasant surprise. It tastes like someone took a citrus-based fruit punch concentrate and only used 1/3 of the recommended water to dilute it. It also has a slight herbal flavor to it, but it's mostly juice coming through. Those iPod doctors on the label sure know how to make a vitamin concentrate taste decently. This is in fact chock full of ridiculous amounts of vitamins with some astragalus, eleutherococcus and panax ginseng extract mixed in to help boost immunity. From the amount of stuff in here one would stupidly believe that one of these shots would knock whatever sickness you have into your body into next winter, but the recommended use for when you start to feel sick is three bottles the first day, two the second and one the third. So apparently six shots is what is necessary to banish virus' from your system. At least the six shots will taste decent.

Welcome back to the country club Mr. Underhill. You've been away for awhile, and I haven't been able to apologize for the whole “John Cocktosen” incident. The waiter that served him was new and had o idea he was not you. Of course he was immediately terminated from his position when we discovered what had happened. Unfortunately Mr. Cocktosen could not be located. What can I get you sir? May I recommend the water buffalo? Oh you're just here for a quick drink before you jump in the pool. That's very understandable sir. Oh I'm sorry Mr. Underhill, we no longer carry sweet tea. Some of the elder patrons were complaining that the sugar in it was deteriorating their dentures. It became quite unseemly. We also decided that sweet tea was a drink for country bumpkins, so we brewed up the rich person's version which we call agave mate. To be honest sir, I personally love sweet tea, but the owners of the club, wanted to give the patrons the illusion that this was a truly fancy drink. To break it down in a nutshell for you we take some premium organic yerba mate, which is naturally rich in caffeine and sweeten the hell out of it with organic agave nectar. Everything about the drink it natural and organic, just the way things should be in paradise. The taste is very similar to that of sweet tea, but it's a bit more refined and adult. I'm sure you will love it Mr. Underhill. Shall I charge it to your account then?

Are you diabetic and tired of diet sodas that taste like mouthwash? Are you sick of giving your hard earned money to multi-billion dollar corporations like Pepsi or Coca-Cola? Do you want an alternative? Well here it is! Johnnie Ryan Diet Cola! Developed and bottled in Niagara Falls, NY (yes, THAT Niagara Falls), Johnnie Ryan is a local staple of Western New York. While they still use sucralose as their dietary sweetener, they managed to make it not taste like battery acid like so many other diet colas do. The minimal bite means that even your grandma will be able to enjoy this pop. Now don't just sit there, get up and go buy a bottle from your local corner store!*

*This drink may not be available at all local corner stores. Check with the proprietor of the establishment to see if they have it in stock. No purchase necessary, void where prohibited.

Honey, I think that I picked a poor career decision. Look, I love kids. They are adorable and having them as toddlers really allows me to instill good morals and watch them learn from nothing to something. That's all well and good except those little buggers are always sick. There isn't one day when at least one kid isn't sick.

I am fully aware of this and I do what I can to take care of myself. I wash my hands like a dozen times a day. I drink orange juice all the time. I eat apples in hopes that it truly keeps the doctor away. I even have tried and still occasionally try Airborne since it's from a teacher to a teacher.

I don't know what else to do. There has to be something else. I can't get sick. If I leave, then I have to call a substitute and that never goes well. These kids are less than one year old and they are downright evil to subs.

What's this? Immunity Support? I need that! I love that! Where did you find this? Oh, the store. Well, why did I even ask? I'll try it right here and now. Can you hand me that bottle, please? I can't wait to smash this cap and drop the mix in the water. I love interactive drinks. Dear, I'm liking this drink. It's nicely sweetened and tastes like orange and maybe cranberry but it's good. It doesn't really taste medicine-y and, if anything, might taste a little Flintstone vitamin-y. I love them, though so it's alright.

I can feel myself getting stronger. I can feel those little sneezes and snots just bouncing right off me. Thank you, honey. You are the best.

Ma'am, what do you think you're doing? Yes you ma'am. What are you trying to hide ma'am? I know for a fact that you are not really a hula dancer. You see, I went to Hawaii on vacation once, and I saw a whole slew of hula dancers and not to be rude, but they were a thick lot. It was a great show, and I had no complaints, but I did learn a thing or two about the art of hula. I'd even go as far as to say that show made me an expert. You ma'am look like a starving child, you are certainly no hula dancer. So what's the deal? Are you a spy? Don't make me call the police on you. I learned form billboards that if I see something I should say something, and I'm pretty sure this constitutes something. Oh you're doing promotion for a line of all natural energy sodas? Well if they really were all natural I think they really should have gotten an actual hula dancer, and not some random in a skirt and a lei. If you are who you say you are you better give me one of them there sodas, so I know they aren't a bomb or poison.

This smells decent. Nothing like any other energy drinks that I've had before. Oh wow it doesn't taste like an energy drink at all either. It has an almost herbal flavor to it, with a bit of light fruit flavoring as well. If the label in any indicator it's a mixture of pineapple and lime. It's pleasant. It also has a very clean taste to it, which I feel is a strange thing to say about a drink, but that's the way I feel, so I'm going to say it. Who are you to judge, you're posing as a hula girl for minimum wage. I actually like this a lot. I would definitely buy this over that artificial garbage I see in all the gas stations. Where can I buy this around Denali, Alaska? Nowhere? Well you're certainly of no help to me. Why don't you go off and finish your life as a faker!

Buddy Schaub is the trombonist for Less Than Jake. He did this review for us after a show in Niagara Falls in a haunted theatre.

Vinnie is the drummer from Less Than Jake and he also owns Paper & Plastick. I met up with him at their recent show in Niagara Falls. After this review we went and explored some haunted "tunnels" underneath the theatre. Good times!

Noah, dude. Did you see this? I know. It's very insensitive. All of those animals stuck on that boat. You listened to the man upstairs, built the arc, traveled for a long time, and then had to resettle. You spend months on a boat with monkeys thinking they owned the place. There was just animal poop everywhere. I know that the documentary maker who added your story to his book, "The Bible" didn't add any of the gross stuff. You would spend most days picking up pooh with a shovel and throwing it overboard. That's not glamorous. Also, people died in that flood. Did the maker of this drink forget that? Flood your thirst? Seriously. People died. I know people that died. This guy took your name and your story and exploited it to sell his drink. You want one? Alright. You can have mine.

What?! You like it? How could you, Noah? This is an insult to your experiences and your story. I know that was a long time ago and you work in a Best Buy now but it's still something you did, something you accomplished. Good lime flavor?! I don't even know you. I suppose you think that it's nice and refreshing because it doesn't have any sugar. What? Dude. Noah. Dude. You've gone soft. Your once calloused hands have softened back up. Alright, I know I'm being hard on you. I'm sorry. While you're back there, can you get me a pair of Beats headphones in purple? Thanks. My customer is going to be sore at me for talking to you for so long and clearly not working and getting the headphones they wanted.