Jason Draper - 2709 Reviews

Our friend Eric from GourmetRootBeer.com took a trip to Portugal recently and brought us back this bottle of Sumol. There was also a can of the pineapple version that was lost to airport security. Damn the man! While I do love pineapple drinks, the one that made it back with him is nothing to scoff at. Eric described it as being similar to Orangina. I can see where he's coming from, but it is a bit different. When each of us took a sip we all thought it initially tasted like grapefruit Squirt. The more we drank the more the orange flavor set in. I'm still uncertain as to exactly what it tastes like, but I'm 95% certain that I think it's a lemon lime soda that has orange switched out for the lime. You can taste that actual orange juice is involved in the creation of this soda. That on it's own makes this better than the majority of other orange sodas out there. Now that we've finished the bottle I want to pull some sort of elaborate prank on the members of airport security that confiscated the can of the pineapple Sumol. I'm thinking something involving marbles, caterpillars and a whole lot of honey.

Terry worked as a heating and cooling repairman for 13 years of his life. He drove his van around Western New York fixing people's stoves, fridges and air conditioners. Most days he didn't hate his job, but there wasn't much room for advancement. He did love driving around a lot though. Then one day he was fixing a guy's air conditioner and he got to talking to him. You see Terry loved fixing things, and he liked to explain it as well. The man was so impressed with his passion that he offered him a job at his company. He would make more money and promotions were a possibility. Terry knew he would miss his driving around and didn't like the idea of being stuck in one play all day, but the money was nice and he needed a change. He took to the job like a fish to water. He took a couple of trips to other states to fix some industrial units, and getting away was nice. Then one day he got asked if he would be willing to go to Australia for a week for the job. Not being a dummy he jumped at the chance. So within six months this fine man went from working a quasi dead end job to working for a growing company and being sent around the world doing work that he found interesting. It's times like these that I am incredibly proud of my friends. It's also times like these when I am thankful that I have friends who travel around the globe and bring me back gifts of drinks.

This is a bottle of Australian sarsaparilla that was purchased at a roadside fruit stand in said country. (As a side note, if you don't take advantage of roadside fruit stands when you are traveling then you are a fool.) I expected this to be a very strong sarsaparilla for some reason, but it's not and I'm okay with that. It has a very classic soda flavor to it. I could see this being served in a 50's soda shop with a couple sharing a bottle with two straws. It starts off as just a generic old time soda flavor but when you swallow it has a strong sarsaparilla aftertaste. It's not what I was looking for but it's a soda that has its place and I can respect and enjoy that. I do with the licorice flavor was a bit stronger in this. Then it would be superb.

Oddly enough this is made by the Fosters Beer company. I don't know why I find that weird, but I definitely do. Also the tagline on the bottle is “Refreshingly Tasmanian.” Now that I find charming.

Robert Van Winkle felt like a failure, and a disappointment to his family. When your great-great-grandfather is Rip Van Winkle you are expected to be able to sleep through anything. Unfortunately that was not true for Robert. Ever since he was a baby he was a bit on an insomniac. He would get in fights with his parents and they would tell him he was an embarrassment and they often accused him of abusing energy drinks. The truth is that he had never so much as tasted a drop of an energy drink. His lack of sleep was a natural thing. His theory was that his ancestors used up all of the sleep allocated to his bloodline, thus cursing him with constant wakefulness. The upside of this was that Robert became a genius. Since he rarely slept, he used all of his waking hours on his studies and quickly had several doctorates and became a scientist. He dreamed of someday creating a potion that would give him the relief of sleep that his family clung to so much.

This bottle that I hold in my hand is the result of years of endless research and trials. Robert Van Winkle finally overcame his demons and I'm happy to say that with the first shot that he drank he quickly fell into a long relaxed slumber. His success mixture tasted like gummy orange slices that had been liquefied. He was shocked at how his final version actually did not taste very intense. It didn't taste like chemicals like so many of his past attempts. He beat science and a family curse. Robert Van Winkle is a true American hero.

Earlier today Mike said that he could really go for a nice cola, and he noted that we don't really find too many “non-mainstream” colas. That got me thinking about cola all day, and I didn't think that I had any at home. When I got home later I perused my beverage shelf and discovered that I did have this can hiding in the back. Everything was coming up Milhouse.

Now I don't know what the difference is between this and their Natural Soda Cola. The ingredient lists look the same except this can says “organic cane juice” and the other says “ real sugar.” The order of the ingredients is different as well. This has natural cola nut flavor higher up on the list. I'm assuming they are pretty much the same drink though, except all of the ingredients in this can are organic. Regardless of the difference, the two things that really stand out about this cola over its everyday competitors is the fact that they do use cola nut and also it is caffeine free due to the company using natural ingredients. Neither Coke nor Pepsi use cola nut in their recipes. Instead they use some artificial concoction that they came up with to create a similar flavor. I must say that you can taste the difference, and this certainly tastes more natural and it's not harsh like the previously mentioned brands.

It may not be the best cola I have ever had, and it didn't quite live up to my expectations, but I certainly enjoyed it. If all of the colas in the world were organic this would probably fall somewhere in the middle of the road, but I prefer it over your common gas station alternatives.

I think it's safe to say that 95% of the people in America wished they were in better shape. From the slob couch potatoes whose idea of exercise is reaching for the remote to folks who spend a good deal of their time at the gym, everyone would like to improve themselves. It's natural. People are supposed to be active. Companies know this is how people feel and they play to it. Why do you think there are so many “diet' drinks out on the market? So L'eau took it a step further. They didn't settle for a drink that had less calories and fake sugar. They went out and created a natural body supplement (I have no idea what it is) that actually aids in weight loss. The bottle says they ran studies with this supplement and the woman who took it lost significantly more weight than those who did not. After that success they produced their supplement in drink form. It basically tastes like Vitamin Water Zero, as both are flavored waters that use Erythritol as a sweetener. This bottle is supposed to be mixed berry, and it has a subtle berry flavor to it, but unfortunately the main flavor is the zero calorie sweetener, and it just gets stronger with each sip. You might think, “Well that's not that bad, I'll deal with the flavor if it will help me lose weight.” The rub is that in their study the woman who used the supplement had enough to equal three bottles of this daily for 8-weeks and still did a bunch of exercise. It's not a magical cure all, but it apparently does help a little. You just have to drink a buttload of it.

I do believe that mixing ingredients this way in the olden days would get a person branded a witch. In fact I'm not positive that the folks back at Sun-Rype haven't been dabbling with the black arts. All three ingredients (apple juice, green tea and chai) are all fairly normal on their own. A combination of green tea and chai is a little unorthodox, but it's nothing that someone would really think twice about. Apple and green tea is definitely on the stranger side of things. I don't believe I have ever had an apple flavored green tea. If I did I'm sure the company got it all wrong and instead of using normal apple juice they probably used green apple flavoring, which is the devil in it's own right. All of the above mixtures are acceptable, and I don't think I would think much of them if I saw them, but when you throw all three ingredients into one drink you're going to get my attention (and presumably the attention of some dark beings).

Things have changed as time has gone on. While this mixture probably would have gotten a person drowned or burned at the stake a couple hundred years ago, nowadays it's gets me to yell, “Holy Crap!” and makes me giddy. I am a staunch supporter of all of these beverages and together they do not disappoint. The apple juice and green tea blend together fairly seamlessly. It's a wonder that more companies don't use this combination. The chai is the game changer though. It makes this drink taste like nothing I have ever had before. It adds a slight vanilla spice flavor of the likes that juice has never seen before. It forms a new hybrid creature that would be unstoppable if only the dark lord would make it a sentient being. Luckily for the world it remains just a delicious juice-tea combo that will knock your socks off.

I can only imagine how sticky the bed of that truck has to be. Driving bottles of iced tea and lemonade all over every day, every week, every month of the year bottles have to break. You also can tell that they do most of their driving on old dirt roads with dust blowing up everywhere. I bet the bed of that there truck is a dirty sticky mess. You know who is winning out with this ice tea leakage? The ants and bees, that's who. The ants are crawling their way up the tires, while the bees just buzz over to feed on the sweetness that is left behind once the glass is cleared away. Those lucky bugs are filling up their stomachs with some of the tastiest summer beverages available in the northeast. When one of these bottles of raspberry tea lemonade busts open it must be like a holiday to them. To start off the raspberry tea is great. Each swig tastes like you sitting on the back of that truck downing a bushel of ripe raspberries while gulping down a big jug of sweetened iced tea to fight the heat. If that tea wasn't enough for you, you are in luck because they cut it right in half with some quality lemonade. It was one a bit on the bitter side, but the sweetness of the tea took care of that and the two flavors now live in perfect harmony, well that is until the ants and bees come along and eat/drink it all up.

For centuries pre-teens all over the world have been posing as scientists trying to perfect the perfect lemonade to sell at the roadside. To be honest most of them just half ass it and use a mix, or have their parents make it for them. If it's the latter you should probably consider yourself lucky. Those kids make terrible scientists. Their lemonade is either too watered down, way overly sweetened or is so sour that it makes it hard to drink. Still society dictates that you must pay the child with a smile and drink the entire cup. If you think for a second of not doing that, just remember what happened to Larry David. Not a pretty...pretty…€¦pre-tty sight.

I'd like to think that four generations ago a member of the Roe family (they make this product) was just another one of those kids trying to make some scratch for a Coke and some comics. That child's lemonade started off terrible, but unlike most they stuck with it and kept improving on it. Now that decades have passed I sit here with their current version and I say to them “stop, you have struck gold.” This is one of the best lemonades I have ever tasted. Most importantly it is made with organic lemon juice and not a powder. Second most important is that they chose to sweeten it with both cane juice and agave nectar. It's a match made in heaven. The sweeteners leave the drink sour, but not so much that it would upset our stomach and make you want to put down your glass. In fact, it's so perfect that you don't want to put down your “glass” at all. Before I knew it my entire bottle was gone and I was left for want of more. It's perfect. Now if only the kids in my neighborhood could make this caliber of lemonade.

Peter loved peanut butter, or as his mom liked to call it “Peter Butter.” It started with PB&J sandwiches. Then he switched to straight peanut butted on bread, and lots of it. Before he knew it he was hooked on the stuff. He was dipping veggies on it. Eating it with dessert. He even became a regular at a local Thai restaurant because he could get peanut satay there. He consumed more peanut butter than any other substance and it was evident in his physical presence. His mother told him he had to cut down, or else he would turn out to be one of those people that you hear about on the news that is so obese that they can't even leave their bed, and weeks pass before anyone even realizes they are dead. Peter did not want that to be his future, so he started cutting down on his peanut butter intake. It was hard because he loved the flavor so much. His mother worked out a recipe for a drink that would taste like peanut butter, but wouldn't be so terrible health wise. She took rice milk and blended in some peanut butter. Sure it wasn't exactly health food, but it filled the void that the lack of peanut butter had created in Peter's life, while keeping things a tad better for him. At first Peter thought it was strange. He felt like he was drinking a can of the sauce that was on his peanut satay. The more he thought about it, the more it grossed him out. He didn't want to drink sauce. Only degenerates and junkies did things like that. He thereby claimed that he was off the sauce. He didn't want to be a peanut butter junkie anymore. He took the rest of his drink and gave it to the cat, which surprisingly loved it. It's now been ten years and Peter has taken to lying to people about having a peanut allergy, just so he doesn't have people tempting him with his old love.

ps. My cat totally starting drinking this and I had to physically restrain her to get her to stop. Cats love peanuts.

For most of my life if I were asked whom my favorite Simpsons' character was I would answer Kirk Van Houten without skipping a beat. Milhouse's dad is absolutely hilarious in his desperation and defeat. Very few things are funnier to me that “weekend dad” who got fired from a cracker factory. Okay scratch that, I just thought of something funnier and that would be Kirk wanting to know the school cafeteria's menus in advance because he doesn't like the idea of Milhouse eating two spaghetti meals in one day. Now that is genius humor.

Last year that all changed when I decided to rewatch every episode (basically) in order. While I still love Kirk, I realized that Moe Syzlak is the shining star of the show. As the seasons rolled by he went from being a surly bartender to one of the most despicable pieces of human garbage to ever grace the animated screen and I love him for it. From trafficking black market whales to trying to steal “Midge” away from Homer, nothing but hysterics come from his performances. Over the months of rewatching the show my love of Moe grew and grew.

Last week friend of Thirsty Dudes, Tony Flaminio went down to Florida for his grandfather's 90th birthday. He took a break in being day-drunk to head to Universal Studios and go on the Simpsons' ride where he bought me this energy drink. When he finally got back to Buffalo and gave it to me I couldn't stop giggling for a while. For those of you who are not aware The Flaming Moe is a drink that Senior Syzlak ripped off of Homer that is composed of a mix of every type of leftover liquor and some kids cough syrup (hysterical in it's own right). It's a great episode and the fact that someone made a drink with its name is just plain great.

I shot a video review for it, but decided not to put it up, because it was dumb and a let down. You see in the show the secret to the Flaming Moe is that it's a decent drink, but once you light it on fire it becomes amazing. Obviously I needed to see if the same was true for this drink. I took a sip, instantly remarked how it didn't taste like Red Bull at all, like most memorabilia energy drinks do, and that instead it tasted like berries. I later found out that it is supposed to be bubble gum flavored, but I didn't taste that for even a second. So I took my sip, then poured it into a glass and tried to ignite it. Not only did it not light, but also whenever the flame got close to it (not touching it) it went out. It was expected, but it was also a let down. I really wanted it to go up in flames and then acquire a different flavor. I guess not containing alcohol or cough syrup will suppress the flammability of a fluid. The drink did taste better than I expected it to, but since it's a “special” energy drink the price tag was a bit hefty, so I wouldn't drink it on the regular even if we did have it available in Buffalo. Still, the idea is hilarious.

Remember he was born a snake handler and he'll die a snake handler.

We don't have Jamba Juice in Buffalo. It's not here, so I complain about it. Truth be told if we did have them here, I would probably go there once, maybe twice. I make a decent amount of smoothies at home, but I rarely go out into the wild world to purchase them. The closest I've ever come to going to one was in DC when we were walking around and a member of my traveling party yelled, “OOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! JAMBA JUICE!!!.” It was the most effeminate that I have ever heard a straight man say, and it turned out it was actually a hardware store and not a juice emporium His enthusiasm was enough to pique my interest in the chain. That experience was five years ago, and I still have ever had Jamba Juice. I guess I wasn't all that interested.

While my attraction wasn't enough to have me actively search out one of their locations, I was still pretty excited when I saw this in the store. What we have here is O.N.E. coconut water mixed with fruit juice and an antioxidant boost from Jamba Juice. It was a great marriage of companies. A company that makes pretty great coconut water merged with a company that I can only assume makes pretty great juice and the result is, as expected, pretty great. It tastes more like juice that it does coconut water, which works for me. It has mostly a mango flavor with some hints of orange, and the slightest flavor of banana (not enough to ruin the drink for me). I could drink a carton at least 7 times as big as this one and probably still want more. It's tasty, it's refreshing and I can only imagine that getting the juice fresh from a Jamba Juice outlet would warrant someone yelling, “OOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! JAMBA JUICE!!!.”

Something happened around the turn of the century where people started to give up on bars of soap. Suddenly they weren't good enough for people. Maybe people thought they couldn't get them clean enough or something, either way people left the bars on the shelf and America embraced the new product known as body wash. I am a grown ass man and I will confidently admit that I use body wash. The reason I do is that I have some that smells like red licorice and the aroma is delicious. That really plays no part in this tale though. The important thing here is that the body wash empire got greedy. They were blinded by the new trend and in their minds the entire world would soon turn to their products and bar soap would become obsolete. As a result many of them purchased the ingredients needed to make the wash in obscene surplus. Now that a decade has passed the body wash folk are realizing that they have reached their limit of customers. Those who are not already using their products will cling to their bars of soap until the day they die. The problem was they were stuck with enough warehouses of materials to fill a smaller state, like Rhode Island. Sure they were able to sell the “soap” ingredients to some of the bar companies at a loss, but what to do with the “gel” ingredients? After many late night board meetings a solution was thought up; they would sell the ingredient, which are perfectly safe to consume, to the beverage industry to make drinks with interesting textures.

Vita Lina jumped at the chance to ride the crest of a possible trend of drinks with strange consistencies. They released this line of flaxseed drinks that has a viscosity that falls somewhere between body wash and a normal drink. It doesn't taste soapy in any way, but the texture is there, and it's weird. I personally like it a lot. It's interesting, and I notice that I take smaller sips than normal. A few friends who tried it were not so into it. They couldn't get past the texture to even contemplate the flavor, which has a nice subtle mango quality to it. I can't blame them. Even though I like the consistency, I do find it distracting from the flavor. I feel like I can taste texture in this drink, and since I'm not a robot that is impossible. It says it's a drink, but since there is tea in it, I consider it an iced tea. Truth be told it tastes more like a drink that is not overly sweetened than tea.

For the first time ever I will now claim that scientists don't know what they are talking about. Sure they know the answers to pretty much about everything, but when it comes to the sun, they have it all wrong. I don't know where they got all of this malarkey about the Earth spinning and revolving around the sun at the same time. It's pretty obvious to every single person with the sense of sight that the Earth sits still and the sun moves in regard to us. All you have to do to know that is the truth is to look up at the sky.

I can even explain why the sun moves the way it does. It's simple actually, being the sun is a lot of work and requires a lot of energy. After awhile the sun just gets tired. Literally the sun gets exhausted and needs to take a rest. The sun's parents didn't raise a fool, so our friend in the sky has manners. He knows that it would be rude to just turn off his flames and take a nap where everyone can see him, so he goes off and hides on us and takes comfort in slumber.

I guess I wasn't completely correct when I said that all scientists were wrong earlier. There is a small faction that work for the Solixir company who know what the deal is. They have known for a while how the sun works and have devised a way to harness all forms of its power. They had a team go up to the sun in this crazy fire proof/heat resistant suits to collect both it's daytime energy and the anti-energy the sun uses to help it to relax and fall asleep (aka the sun's sleeping pills). They used these samples to synthesize the way the sun works and have used it in their functionality beverages.

The drink I have in my hand is one that harnesses the relaxation power of the sleeping sun. The thing is that they don't want other companies mimicking their discovery, so they don't just come out and list “the relaxing properties of the nighttime sun” on the ingredients list. Instead they just list the other things in this beverage: chamomile flower, passionflower herb, lemon balm, jejube berry and hibiscus flower. They lightly flavored this mixture with blackberry juice and added some carbonated water to create a nice little product. The botanical blend kind of gives off a slight fennel taste, but it's more like a memory of a fennel flavor. Overall the entire drink tastes very light. There is no sweetener in it and it tastes more like a flavored sparkling water. Knowing the potential power of this drink Solixir did the responsible thing and only put the smallest traces of the sun's power in the drink. They didn't want people just passing out everywhere as soon as they took a sip. In fact the drink doesn't make you tired at all, it simply relaxes you and let's you enjoy the day as the sun flies by overhead.

It's now time for another installment of how stupid Jay can be with drinks. I took this beverage with me to see some bands play at a house show the other night. Buffalo has a long tradition of house shows, and I'm glad it's still going strong. So there I am watching bands, hanging out with friends and occasionally taking pulls from my juice while most other people are downing beers. I was fine with the juice; it wasn't spectacular but it was exactly what I expected from a cranberry juice that was sweetened with cane sugar. By the end of the show I had drunk about ¾ of the bottle and decided to hold off on the rest until I was home and could resample it to write my review.

Cut to now where I am sitting at my desk about to write a review for some decent cranberry juice. I give it to my ladyfriend so she can give it a little taste, and she says, “Wow that's some sweet pomegranate.” I reply with, “No, no, no it's cranberry not pomegranate.” At which point she simply points at the label and I feel like a complete fool. She was right it is pomegranate and I am once again playing the roll of the idiot. I've often thought that pomegranate and cranberries were closely related in the fruit family tree, but I never would have thought I would have confused them. When I grabbed it out of my fridge that day I had cranberries on my mind, so I thought that is what this was. The inclusion of apple juice in the ingredients helped me along. Everyone's heard of cranapple, but who has ever heard of pomapple? If they want to make a drink that sounds cool they should make a cranagranate. I would buy that on name alone. So yes I thought it was cranberry juice, but as soon as I took a sip after I knew I was wrong, all I could taste was strong, very sweet pom. This is the kind of drink that could get kids into pomegranate. Sure it could benefit from not being made from a concentrate, but that would make it cost way more, and it's only 99 cents, which is rad. At least they used cane sugar and not HFCS.

When someone says the word crisp oranges would be one of the last things to cross my mind. Cucumbers are crisp. Apples are crisp. Potato chips, or crisps if you're British, are crisp. Oranges are not crisp. They are in fact the opposite of crisp. They are mushy and soft. I know this company makes other flavors (it is the store brand for Save-A-Lot), but really I can't shake this idea of a crisp orange. It would be weird and gross. An orange that would make a cracking noise if you were to break it in half is not an orange I would like to eat.

I suppose you could refer to a nice cold soda as crisp, but I still wouldn't refer to this soda as crisp. It's a pretty standard orange pop, like any store brand. It says it's a naturally flavored soda, but those natural flavors are surely not oranges or orange juice as they are nowhere to be found on the ingredients. It has that fake orange taste that tastes nothing like the fruit.

The only really notable thing about this soda is that it is the only orange pop I have ever had that contains caffeine. Strange times indeed.

I was about to say that his is where sports drinks began, but then a quick internet search and I discovered that Lemon Lime was the original Gatorade flavor in 1965. Can you believe that this stuff has been around for so long? I wonder how different the original drink was to the ones that are readily available today.

While this may not have been the original, it certainly was the first I ever had. I used to go with my cousin to his soccer games in some strange sports complex. The concession stand there sold Gatorade and that's all I ever got. It made me feel like an athlete even though I wasn't playing. I was also probably five at the time and an idiot. I should have just been playing instead of sitting in the stands like a fool. Whatever. This is the flavor I always got, fruit punch. I'm sure this is an altered version of it, but it still tastes like slightly watered down Hawiian Punch. I'm glad that the company has gotten back off of the HFCS sweetener and gone with sucrose. The drink is way less syrupy this way.

I think as a rule no one should ever need to drink fruit punch (unless it actually is just a bunch of different fruit juices mixed together with no sweetener added), but if you find yourself craving it, I would choose this over its competitors. It's not so overpoweringly strong.

Do you remember Uncle Traveling Matt from Fraggle Rock? Well, he's back in a big way. What they never really delved into during the show was that the whole reason for Matt's travels was that he was searching for a fruit that he had once tried as a child. He was so fixated on a fruit whose name that he had never known that he traversed the globe and tried every fruit he could get his hands on.

His trip would have been cut way shorter if it wasn't for the great blunder of `93. That was when he first visited Florida and tried an orange. He thought that it was similar to the fruit of his memories, but it wasn't quite there. It was on that same trip that he passed a grapefruit orchard, but he kept right on going because he mistook them for unripe oranges. Since that time he had gone all over the world and felt that he must start over. On his second trip to Florida a few years ago he finally tasted a grapefruit and the memories came flooding back. The way it's sour juices spilled over his throat in such unique way. He had tried it with sugar, and sure it was tasty, but he felt it ruined the magic of the fruit. He spent the day as if it were a dream wandering the orchard and gorging himself on the yellow fruit.

The next morning he took what was left of his monies and purchased the orchard. He then went to task or juicing the wonderful fruit for the world to enjoy. He sent a case back to Gobo and the rest of the Fraggles, but they never received them. After Doc passed away the Fraggles never seemed to receive their mail anymore. It was a travesty.
“Oh well,” thought Matt at least the world could still experience his juice, which was made of nothing but the nectar of organically grown grapefruits. He never made it from concentrate, nor did he ever add sugar. Matt was a purist when it came to fruit juice and the world thanked him for his wonderfully sour juice.

Mike and I get nutty over Hansen's sodas. A few years ago he ordered a case and he and editor Dan went on a mini tour with my old band. We drank way more soda than anyone should, but we were stuck in a van for long periods of time, and you get bored, so you drink. The thing is that Mike ordered all of the fruity flavors. They were all great. Even when they were on the verge of boiling from being in the van for days in the middle of August, they still tasted good (albeit extremely weird and corrosive). For as much as I love their other sodas this is the first time that I have tried their root beer, and I am shockingly not impressed. It tastes like the company took a normal everyday root beer like A&W or Dads and just switched out the sweetener for cane sugar. There's nothing really special to the flavor at all. Since it claims to be creamy, I expected there to be a heavy vanilla presence, but it's only slightly more apparent than in “normal” root beers. I can't say that I dislike it at all, but I just expected more from a company who has made other sodas that were so spectacular.

It's been a rough day at the gym and you are beat. You spent an hour just juicing your pecs and then went to a three hour spin class. You didn't even know what spin class was, it was just on the activities board and you had time. You're still not sure why it was three hours long, but your muscles are screaming and you can barely move. Lucky for you there is a small concessions stand in your gym. They sell a lot of juice and smoothies, but the thought of drinking something with such substance is enough to make you want to vom. You need something that is cold and refreshing. The employee working the stand suggests you try a Phenom coconut water. “Oh no” you tell him and then you proceed to tell him how you had coconut. The man assures you that it is nothing like coconut in a cookie or dessert, it is it's own thing. Who are you to argue with a professional? You choose the orange guava passion flavored one because you are no fool and anything with guava or passionfruit is always going to be the option you pick, put the two of them together and you have a no-brainer on your hands. You take off the cap and gulp down half the bottle (who could blame you after three hours on that damn bike?). The employee was right, this doesn't taste anything like the garbage coconut your aunt puts on everything she calls dessert. Actually, you quite enjoy this and you actually feel yourself getting re-hydrated. Unfortunately neither the guava or passionfruit are very upfront but the collective tropical flavor of the three fruits (which really doesn't taste like any of them individually) is quite tasty. Before you know it the carton is empty and you go to buy another one. The employee suggests you stop being such a glutton and drink some water instead. Isn't the whole reason you're in the gym to get in shape and stop being a slob? You tip your non-existing hat, which makes you look like a moron and head to the locker room a person forever changed.

After every successful mission the boys from the A-Team would reconvene at their secret hideout in eastern Pennsylvania. There they would debrief and then relax with their hobbies outside of being solders of fortune.

B.A. Baracus found his inner peace while making sodas. Thinking he was clever he named then A-Treat. He would always try to hand them out to the rest of the boys for a job well done, but none of them really gave him much attention as they thought he was an idiot due to his inarticulate speech. B.A. didn't let that get him down though he just kept plugging away making his soda.

He became enthralled in the sodas of the region, specifically birch beer. He was determined to create the world's greatest version of this drink. He tinkered for weeks with it. He was so pleased when he was done that he ran to the others to try and get them to try it. He was so happy when Hannibal grabbed the bottle and took a swig. He said that it was decent albeit a bit too syrupy for his liking. He said it kind of tasted like it should be birch beer flavored cough medicine, but that strangely didn't make it bad. He also likened it to a birch beer version of root beer barrel candy. Then he handed back the bottle. B.A. was so ecstatic that he didn't even realize that Hannibal had slipped some drugs into the bottle before he handed it back. B.A. finished the bottle and then the next thing he knew he was on a plane off to another mission. Damn Hannibal!