Jason Draper - 2709 Reviews

Suspicions ran high on Willowbrook Lane. Everyone was thinking it, but no one had the guts to just come out and say that there is no way that two girls aged 4 and 6 could make lemonade this good. It most neighborhoods any beverage sold by children at the side of the road are bottom of the barrel quality wise, but on Willowbrook Lanethat is not always the case. You see it's a rich neighborhood and the children's parents can afford quality ingredients (aka fresh fruit and cane sugar) instead of drink mix. This lemonade that the Belini girls have been selling since Friday is something different altogether. Normally the neighbors would buy a glass out of pity and a sense of duty, but with this lemonade there was a continuous line. That's right, the entire neighborhood lined up to get a glass of lemonade, and then when they finished they would get back in line. The lemonade was that good. It had the perfect ratio of lemon juice to sugar. It was what summer dreams were made of.

So everyone was buying and enjoying the lemonade, but as I said they had their suspicions. First off, little girls more than likely couldn't make lemonade that good. Secondly, for the amount of product they were moving, the girls spent surprisingly little time indoors making up more. Everyone thought their parents were making it for them, but then people realized that both of them had been outside doing yard work all weekend. The mystery actually wasn't solved until garbage night when the recycling bin outside of the Belini house was overflowing with empty bottles of Uncle Matt's Organic Lemonade. You cannot believe how fast word spread around the neighborhood of the children's deceit. People were furious, like pitchfork and torch furious, until Mr. Belini pointed out how much people enjoyed the lemonade. The block club then held a quick meeting and decided the girls had to use the money they earned to buy something that would benefit the entire block. That is the story of why the bust of Lionel Richie from the “Hello” video ended up in the middle of the cul de sac at the end of Willowbrook Lane.

There is something about sodas from Mexico. All of the fruit flavored pop I've ever tried from that southern nation all have a similar taste to them. I don't really know what it is, but it is not present in other fruit flavored pops I've had. It's this certain sweetness that I just can't put into words. If you've tries Barrilitos, Jarritos or Goya you may know what I speak of.

So this has that specific Mexican sweetness, but it also has a fake tangerine flavor. This is to tangerines what Crush is to oranges. They don't really taste like the fruit, but we like them anyways. If tangerine sodas were in the everyday spectrum of sodas in your grocery store, this wouldn't stand out at all, but since it's rare that you get to taste a pop of this flavor I am a fan of it.

I would also like to state that I am proud of myself for not being a glutton. In the past I would have downed this 24oz bottle of soda in 10-15 minutes. It's now 5 hours later and I still have half a bottle. It's the little things, you know?

No matter how cool of a name dragon fruit is, and no matter how insane and awesome the outside of the fruit looks, once you cut it open it's off putting. It looks like a bleached strawberry. I'd like to rephrase that. It looks like an albino strawberry. If I were the lying sort I would tell you that like other albinos when a dragon fruit it cut open and exposed to sunlight it ignites…€¦just like any other albino.

I'd like to think the folks at Flavur also thought that dragon fruit looked like a pigmentless version of a strawberry and decided to mix in some real red ones and see how it tastes. The answer is it tastes delicious of course. There are two delicious fruits intermingling in a single bottle with a little help from ginseng (luckily his dirt flavor is nowhere to be found), what else could you want? Okay so there is a bit more in here. There are also apple, elderberry and lemon juice involved. Normally I'm not a fan of lemons being introduced into beverages unless it's lemonade, but I will happily admit that it does something to bring out the flavors of the other fruits. All together it's sweet and fruity in all the right ways.

I always find myself jealous of the Canadian public for their awesome beverages. They always seem to have very unique juices to offer. It's also exciting when they are sweetened with beet syrup like this drink is. Now I must go and try to get “Killer Tofu” out of my head.

While I'm not the world's biggest supporter of energy drinks (I feel like too many people abuse them to an unhealthy level) I do have a weird soft spot for them. I've found that most people take issue with the way that they taste, but I for one love it for the most part. There is something about the strange liquid candy flavor of them that excites the little kid that lives inside of me (well that sounded creepy). Many times I have been heard saying that I wish there were drinks that tasted like energy drinks, but without the actually energy. I would truly enjoy that, but such a beverage has yet to hit the market.

When I first opened this that unmistakable “energy” smell filled the air in my car. I'm starting to think that it may actually be taurine that gives these drinks their scent and taste. I took a sip and smiled. It was like someone mixed Hawaiian Punch and Red Bull. “Now this is a drink that I can get down with,” I thought to myself. After a couple more sips I decided that I had been dead wrong. This stuff gets pretty gross. The more you drink, the less it tastes like fruit punch and the more it tastes like something in a beaker in a high school science class. By the end of the bottle the fruit punch flavoring was nothing more than a memory.

It's really no surprise that this companies website no longer exists. I can't imagine they would have stayed in business for very long with drinks that taste like something you would normally call poison control if you ingested.

If Fosters is Australian for Beer, then Bundaberg is Australian for soda. Before this all I had tried was their ginger beer, but it was one of the best I have ever tasted. When we got a bottle shipped to us, it really knocked my socks off. Truth be told I really thought the company only made the one flavor until our friend Terry brought us back a bottle of guava soda and this bottle of burgundee creaming soda. I wasn't exactly sure what this was going to be but my money was on red cream soda. I was partly right. It is a cream soda style beverage that is reddish in color, but it wasn't quite like the Canadian red cream soda I was used to. A quick look at the ingredients list showed me that this was actually red grape cream soda (made with actual grape juice). I would have never have thought to mix grape juice and cream soda, but what do I know I'm from Western New York. Apparently in Australia it is a traditional drink. As soon as I read the ingredients I could pick out the grape in the flavor that I originally thought was some sort of berry. It really is a spectacular drink. I drank about half of the bottle while Mike and I were hanging out earlier, and thanks to the twist cap, I was able to save the rest for later. I must say it somehow tasted even better when I went back for seconds.

With a drink this good I can only imagine that kangaroos carry them around in their pouches and the only way to get one is to box it for a bottle. Watch out, or you may find yourself disemboweled. No one likes to be disemboweled, just like no one in Australia wants to be solely associated with kangaroos. Don't worry folks, from here on out whenever I hear the word Australia I will instantly think of your fantastic sodas.

Do you love the taste of ginger beer, but have the sensitivity of an infant when it comes to the burn of it? If you answered yes to the above question than this ginger ale is for you. When you open it open it has the strong aroma of a quality ginger beer. I thought I was in for a treat, and that they “mislabeled” it ginger ale. I was still uncertain when I took a swig and the flavor equaled that of ginger beer as well, but was confused by the lack of the burn. From the scent and taste this should have been a 4 out of 5 on the burn-o-meter. Instead it's fairly smooth (well as far as ginger ales go). It's strange. For someone like myself who drinks ginger beer for the burn, it's a let down, but for those like my ladyfriend who can't handle the burn it's a nice little treat. I would say this is what pale ginger ale should taste like, not what you would normally associate it with.

Memorial Day weekend just wrapped up. It was three days filled with hangouts and barbeques, as those are the perfect ways to remember things. The last party of the weekend was a pool party at some friends' house. I think only one person actually ended going into the pool but the rest of us ate more than our fair share of food, including my new favorite thing “Cowboy Caviar.” Just look it up, it's delicious.

I brought this bottle of tea to share at the party, because I didn't want to end up drinking it all myself. As it turns out I think I am the only one who drank any of it, and it was only one glass. It doesn't really taste like a half and half. It's more of a lemon tea, and cheap tea at that. It actually has lemon juice concentrate in it, but the lemon flavoring doesn't taste real at all. The lemon taste is also far too overpowering. Had it actually tasted like lemonade I would have been okay with that, but the way things are it was too much. I drank my one glass, and when I went up for a refill I noticed that someone else had brought Arizona's Arnold Palmer and I ended up drinking that the rest of the night.

It's well known that many people out there are straight up coffee addicts. Perhaps it started like it was in the olden days with a mug for breakfast. Then it grew to a mug or two at the office. Now those same people drink it all day, everyday. I am amazed that people can do this can still fall asleep at night with no problems. It boggles (bottles) the mind.

So yes, people love their coffee. In the winter it's not a problem because it helps to warm them up and keep them moving. On days like today when it's a broiler out the last thing I would want to do it drink a nice hot mug of coffee. Sure you can go to a coffee shop and get a fancy iced coffee of some sort, but does iced coffee fit at a backyard bbq? I think not. Simpson Spring has the solution to this problem. They have created a coffee soda that is pretty insane. When you twist off that cap it smells like a bag of coffee grounds, which is one of the best smells ever. The taste is also surprisingly good. It tastes like someone somehow brewed coffee with carbonated water and then added a bit of sugar to it. It was refreshing, yet it still filled the need some of the people I was with had for their 4PM mug. The flavor is definitely more coffee than soda, but it's still carbonated. It basically tastes exactly like you would want it to. I'm not a huge coffee fan myself, but I really liked it and those of me that dig on the bean absolutely loved it. I'd say it's a fairly perfect drink.

The name of this flavor instantly made me think of Gatorade. It's like a word association in my head. You say “Frostberry Blast” and I think of “Frost Glacier Freeze.” The fact that there is blue in this packaging and the Gatorade is also blue helped as well. I'm glad I had that association because as far as I can remember they also taste similar. Well it tastes like Frost Glacier Freeze mixed with one of those random flavors of Mountain Dew (Voltage). It's blue raspberry flavored, but it's sweetened with sucralose, so it's not overly sweet. It actually doesn't taste overly diet either. I'm pretty into this. It's a nice change up from your normal energy drink flavors.

Xyience was ahead of the game due to their name as it is. As a man who now owns a lab coat, I assure you that anything to do with science I will look upon with favor. I mean they must have scientists working for them to come up with the idea to ship their drinks in the canisters banks use for their pneumatic tubes.

They are also the official energy drink of UFC. I hope that when they unveiled this it was at a match. Two of the fighters entered the ring in lab coats and goggles. They were each handed a can of Frostberry Blast, which they instantly chugged and then proceeded to just beat the hell out of each other while they were all hopped up. I just really want to see two people in scientist attire go toe to toe. It can be ultimate fighters or it could be the nerdiest, gangliest dudes that NASA has to offer. I'm fine with it either way.

You know how in old movies whenever someone would get trapped up in a snowstorm somewhere in the arctic or some such thing a giant Saint Bernard would come out of nowhere with a barrel full of brandy strapped to its neck? Apparently the brandy would slow down the effects of frostbite. Is there a more adorable way to be saved from a frozen death? Okay koalas dragging you to safety would be pretty cute.

Well the Saint Bernard's day in the sun is over. There's a new pup on the block and he's a coonhound named Boozer. He will never save you from an avalanche, but he just may save you from a killer hangover. While many people may be bummed out that he doesn't carry around a barrel of alcohol, he does carry around a can of hangover remedy that you will thank him for in the morning. It's a mixture of vitamins and herbs that help to rejuvenate your body and fight the dehydration that alcohol can cause. It has a mild citrus flavor that combats the taste of the vitamins. The fight is kind of in a stalemate. You can taste the citrus, but it isn't strong enough to fully cover up the tastes of the vitamins. It's not horrible, but it's not something you would drink recreationally, which you shouldn't anyways as it's a beverage with a specific purpose. As an added bonus once you take the can from our friend the dog, he's free to tear it up for the night. He can get tanked and rip it up on the dance floor.

It has taken us over a year to review this from when Boozer sent it to us. Sorry guys, we messed up.

Okay, this is an all-natural drink, with no sugar added, yet it still kind of tastes like that fake candy green apple flavor. I don't get it, there is nothing in here that should give it that taste. It's a mixture of apple, white grape and acerola juices. Could it be that there is a variety of green apple that actually tastes this way that I'm just not aware of? I'm from an area where there are apple orchards all over and I've never tasted such a thing. The green apples that I've had are actually my favorite type of apple.

Actually…€¦.

The more I drink of this, the less candy-like it actually tastes and the more I feel like I'm eating one of my tasty green apples. Now I'm done with the can and I could certainly enjoy another instantly. It's juice and sparkling water combined in a wonderful way without the need for sugar. Thanks Izze.

Is there a more perfect fruit than the guava? Side thought: what sort of contraption/green house would I have to build in my apartment in order to grow a guava tree that would bear fruit? I think the biggest allure of living in a tropical location would be that you could have a guava tree in your back yard. Imagine just waking up, rolling out of bed, strolling into the yard and picking some guavas for breakfast. If there ever was a heaven you now know how I would spend eternity.

The only way this drink could be any better would be if they cut out the sugar and had it be 100% juice. That's the dream right there. Since I'm from a climate that is opposite of tropical for most of the year I will take what is offered. This is sweet and wonderful, just like the fruit. It has the slightest bit of grainy texture due to the sugar, but I can overlook it. When are guavas in season? When is that one week out of the year you can get them in the grocery store in NY? I just want fresh fruit now.

One of the many things that I love about Canada is that their cream soda is red. I don't know if it was a ruling made by Parliament (speaking of which, why is their a unicorn sticking it's tongue out on the front of their Parliament building?) or if it was just a coincidence. Either way I love it. It has a very average cream soda flavor (you know subtly vanilla) mixed with a little bit of berry. The extra flavor does nothing but enhance the cream soda. This tastes very similar to the Crush soda mousse.

I have no idea why I found this Canadian made soda at a Big Lots in Western Pennsylvania, but who am I to question the universe? I'm simply a man who enjoys the beverages from the country to the north of him.

At that point in your life when you inevitably find yourself lost in the desert, don't fret. You may not know it but refreshment is but a plant away. If you crack an “arm off of a cactus soda will pour out. I don't know why no one who has been lost has ever realized it before. They must all be a bunch of dummies.

In all seriousness when I first saw this soda I was praying that it was sweetened with agave, which is a desert plant that I thought was a cactus, but apparently it's not. Once I learned that it was no shock that it wasn't made with agave. It was made with HFCS. No biggie. It is still orange pineapple flavored, and that has to be good right? Wrong! This is a fairly gross soda that tastes nothing like actual oranges or pineapple. I actually am having a hard time saying that it tastes like the fake candy version of either of those fruits. It tastes like generic sugar water with some vague citrus element to it. I honestly think I might rather suck on a cactus than drink this.

Like every other "flavor" of Wat-Aah this taste just like spring water. Nothing special nothing fancy. Some people say they can taste the difference in bottled water, but as long as it's ice cold it all tastes the same to me.

It's water. It tastes like water. I think they hit their mark.

Sometimes I wonder why we even review “shot” drinks. They all taste fairly bad by nature. There's always an underlying chemical-esque flavor to them. Sure they all have their specific purposes, but we do this site to talk about the way things taste, not really to discuss their functional merits.

This shot here tastes like chemical orange concentrate. Okay it's less chemically than other shots I've had, but the weird flavor is still there. That flavor is the obscene amounts of vitamins and minerals that are jammed into this 2.5oz of fluid. As far as shots go, it's not terrible, and the aftertaste doesn't last very long. I can't ever imagine sitting down and drinking a big glass of something that tasted like this though, it would be disgusting. So for a shot it's decent. In terms of a beverage it's gross. It's all about sacrificing flavor for functionality and convenience these days.

The Caruros are a family that means business, just look at that photo. The man looks like he's a pleasant enough chap, who enjoys a good time, but his wife looks as if she doesn't take guff from anyone. It is because of this combination that they were able to achieve and uphold a level of quality in their sodas.

With this root beer they were not out to invent something new, they wanted to keep things tasting classic, and to make it in the same way. Many companies nowadays use “root beer extract” or some such thing to get a generic root beer taste. When companies do that their product suffers from mediocrity. The Carusos took their time perfecting a formula and then ran with it. It's full bodied with a nice wintergreen aftertaste. When I got closer to the bottom of the bottle it had a kind of woodsy flavor that reminds me a lot of the Sprecher sodas. This blows their root beer out of the water though.

Now go and wash up. It's dinnertime and you don't want to keep Mrs. Caruso waiting.

This week Mike turns thirty. His ladyfriend decided to throw him a surprise party, so it was Editor Dan and my job to get him out of the house and to the party at the appropriate time. People were concerned that there would be problems with this, but Dan and I know the way to Mike's heart and it's with the promise of breakfast at the flea market. Even before the party we had a great day of wonderfully gross food, old Buffalo and Ghostbusters metal pins and I got the high score in Galaga. The times were great. Dan and I believe we even wandered into another dimension as we found ourselves in a part of the dirt mall that we had never been to. Finally it was time for the party and we took Mike to the park where everyone else awaited our arrival. I have no idea how he didn't know about it, but the secret held strong. In true Mike fashion he showed no emotion over any of it. That's why we love him.

The party was fun, even though it was about a billion degrees and I got a ridiculous sunburn. We chased a turkey, ate a lot of food and of course drank some drinks. I had a Slurpee earlier on, but when the effects started fading, I decided to go with this strawberry lemonade. We've gotten a handful of comments from people saying that they think the Huberts company is garbage, but we could not disagree more. It tastes like they made lemonade from lemon juice concentrate; you know the stuff that comes in the little plastic lemons. It's nice and sour and tastes like real lemons. I don't know if as a whole it's not sweet enough for those who complained, or maybe it's the extremely faint stevia taste that hides in there. All I can say is those people are wrong and this is great lemonade. The base is great and the extract of strawberry they use makes it taste like someone just mashed the hell out of some berries and put it in their lemonade. I love it. You should love it. You should join us on Tuesday when we ride bikes to a strip club for Mike's birthday to get hot dogs. It's a tradition that we don't go in, just acquire hot dogs from the cart outside. Does anything else scream, “Welcome to your Thirties!” more?

With the exception of Bright Citrus, us folks here at Thirsty Dudes have not been huge fans of Cascal sodas. I think we would have loved most of the flavors, if the whole point of the company weren't that they make fermented sodas. Take away the fermentation and slight alcohol taste that it causes and these would be severely interesting sodas. With flavors like apple and anise things are bound to get wacky. Unfortunately that flavor that is gross to those of us who don't drink gets in the way and ruins everything. I have to admit that my friends who do partake in alcohol like these a lot more than those of us who do not. I believe they are accustomed to that flavor.

While this flavor does tastes a bit hoppy, it didn't bother me as much as it has with the other flavors. Perhaps I myself am becoming more accustomed to the flavor, but it wasn't bad. It tastes like a citrus and berry soda, two flavors that normally don't commingle. Why is that? There is berry based fruit punch and tropical citrus bases, but it's not often that they overlap. That needs to change because if this drink is any indication they pair nicely. It's a good tasting sparkling juice and as I said if you don't mind the fermentation flavor grab yourself a can.

Paldo seems like it should be a dog's name. I kind of want to name a dog Paldo now. I also want to teach him to go fetch me drinks. Does that fall under the adorable category or the one labeled “get it yourself you lazy slob?” I'm going to go with adorable. I would imagine glass bottles would be hard on the little guy's teeth. They also might be too smooth for him to be able to get a proper grasp on to carry. Cans would also be a problem because one little tooth pressed just a little too hard and the contents are going to spray everywhere. It looks like I'll have to train my little bubby Paldo to retrieve me plastic bottles. Hopefully he will be prone to choosing his namesake because they make some great tasting aloe drinks. Sure the chunks in it are a little too tiny for my liking (they resemble pulp more than chunks), but the flavor is always great. This bottle is a great example. Pomegranate is a delicious fruit but a little too much for a lot of people. Paldo (the company not the imaginary dog) added enough sweetener to take away most of the bitterness yet leave the essence of the fruit in tact. It's a perfect gateway drink to get people into both pomegranate and aloe drinks. If you're skeptical of either, give this a try. I'll be out looking for a beagle puppy who is susceptible to drink training.