Juice - 935 Reviews

Are you an adult that loves the taste of Strawberry Quik? Well let me ease that mind of yours and let you in on a little tip that will not only allow you to bath your tongue in the flavor that you crave, but also do it in a healthier manner. You see Odwalla's Strawberry Protein Monster tastes exactly like that treat from your childhood that you miss so dearly. Sure it's a little denser of a liquid, but that is a small price to pay for not looking like you're stuck in arrested development when you're trying to flirt with your cashier at the grocery store. Who could take someone seriously when they are buying a big tin of strawberry powder to flavor their milk? No one, that is who. On the other hand if you were purchasing this beverage, you will appear to have your act together, and it might even get you that cashier's number. Actually don't be the creep that bothers the cashier. They just want to make it through their shift as painlessly as possible. Just drink your strawberry drink and keep to yourself.

One of the worst things I have ever drunk before was an Asian plum juice. I assure you it tasted like no plum I have ever eaten. I was later told that in Asia prunes are referred to as plums. I thought, “well that explains that,” but then I remembered that it didn't even taste like liquid prunes. It tasted like moldy wood and meat aka the absolute worst.

It's good to see that the fine people in Nantucket know what plums really are and how to juice them. I do have to point out that this is mostly water and pear juice so the plum flavor isn't the strongest, but it is still quite nice, albeit a little sweeter than I would prefer. It really should be called a plum-pear juice though.

My mind has gone off on a tangent. All I can think about now is a 100% plum juice. There would be nothing else in the bottle except the liquid that was squeezed out of what I imagine would be several dozen plums. I think taking a sip of that would be a little slice of heaven. Can you imagine that? Oh man, it would be so tart, yet sweet in just the right ways. I'm sure some cold pressed juice company will end up making it and charge $15 a bottle for it. I'm definitely one of the suckers who would pay it too.

"It tastes like drinking an orange." Jerome said. "That's because it's just a juiced orange." Paul said. "You could just call it orange juice." he added. "You know what? I will. Now and forever, this shall be called orange juice!" exclaimed Jerome.

Mango nectar. Should that be it? Should that be the entire review? Do you like mangos? Then why do you have a carton of mango juice? Look at the ingredients. The number one ingredient is mango. Did you think that it was going to taste like strawberries? Come on, dude. It's going to taste like mango. I don't know how I got to review it because Jay is the mangoman and he must have forgotten how to read when I got to pull this out of the collective pile. Hey Jay! This was wonderful. It tasted like genuine mango juice. Wonderfully sweetened mango juice. Jay, you missed out. You drank the passion fruit one and you liked it, but I drank the mango one and it was good. It wasn't pulpy but it was thicker than a regular juice.

Sometimes when you're working out in the old cranberry swamp you need to take some snacks with you. It can drive a person crazy to be working around a potential food all day, but it's not in a form that is easily ingested. It's these times you bring along a sack of grapes to help pass the time and sate your hunger. What happens when you become mister butter fingers and you drop all of your grapes into the bushel of cranberries you've just gathered? Well, it obviously doesn't result in you spending the time to separate the grapes out. You're too lazy and they certainly don't pay you enough for that. What happens in reality is that you end up with cran grape juice. That's nothing to complain about.

Grape juice is one of the best juices readily available in any grocery store across America. It's delicious, but it's a little strong and you can't drink much without getting an ache in your guts. It's so strong that it's one of the few juices that can overpower cranberry juice. This mostly tastes like a nice purple grape juice with a cranberry aftertaste. Each juice is normally intense and I couldn't drink more than a glass at a sitting. When they are combined by Ocean Spray I think I could drink a gallon for breakfast.

Can we all agree that Christopher McDonald is one of the greatest character actors of our time? On top of being a great actor, he also has come of the best character names in cinematic history. From Reed Standish to Travis Cole, he has perfect antagonist names. Of course who could forget Shooter McGavin? I could only think about him as I drank this. A man who takes breaks from the golf course to sell his line of misleading juice drinks. Misleading you say? Well the bottle clearly states “No Added Sugar,” yet the ingredients clearly show that it actually contains sucralose. I guess technically sucralose is not sugar, but it still is a sweetener, albeit a zero calorie one.

I'll tell you what, if they weren't a bunch of big fat liars and had omitted the sucralose, this would be a nice little drinks. Sure it has a bunch of added nonsense, but the base of it is a decent tasting juice. Raspberry juice is rare, although I would kill for a nice cold glass of pure raspberry juice to accompany my dream glass of cantaloupe juice. Mixed with the strawberry juice it's nice, and I think kids (who this is marketed toward) would really enjoy this. The reality is there is only 10% juice in here, but I could easily over look that if that pesky sucralose wasn't present. It may not be strong in the taste, but it's still there and annoying.

If you spent a lot of money on a blueberry drink, took a sip, and immediately felt ripped off, this drink is for you. This is the drink you would make if you bought that drink, got frustrated, went to the store, bought a box of blueberries, went home, juiced them, and added a little sugar.

The thing about this drink is that it might be better than blueberries. I am not the world's strongest proponent of blueberries. Unless they are really fresh, they are too squishy and I do not like the texture. I do like the taste but texture is everything and I just don't like it. Blueberries are such a “limited time offer” that it's hard to get behind them. This is better than blueberries because it is clearly a juice at heart with sugar to actually calm it down. I don't know what science the Swedes used to make this but they should keep it up because it's great.

If blueberries stayed firm and tasted like this drink, I would eat them by the handful everyday, increasing my antioxidant chart to frighteningly high levels where I might be immune to small gauge bullets. Until then, I am well less than immune.

You know that a drink cannot surpass "three bottles" when with every sip you wonder if it has gone bad. I am half way through this bottle and, as aforementioned, I don't know if it's going to kill me or not. It could be the maple syrup that my palate is not used to but it's not like anything that I'm used to.

The strawberry though...that is real. It tastes like someone took an iced tea sweetened with maple syrup and just squished some strawberries into it. It tastes natural. I can honor that part of it. The maple syrup part of it...that's just odd. Call me an "ignorant American" Canada, but this kind of makes it taste funny.

Maple syrup. You're great on pancakes. Stick to pancakes. You're good on that.

Herman the local meteorologist was very concerned about two things. The first and foremost is the weather and atmospheric conditions. It is his livelihood. It helped him put his kids through college, buy that eight series Bimmer he's always wanted, put a roof over their heads and food on the table. He is constantly studying weather patterns to try to be on top of his game and be the best at predicting what's going to happen so the people of his fair city don't get caught in surprise thunderstorms or bundle up for perfectly clear and warm days.

The second is pure, unaltered food. He proudly condones the raw food diet, eats a lot of nuts and seeds as snacks, and will never order meat prepared any other way except raw. He likes his cheese stinky and his juice pulpy. The later of which on one particular day would merge his two loves together to form one super products for Herman.

Herman went into an Asian grocery store as he did most days to pick up things like bok choy, durian, and fish. He was about to walk out and saw a new orange drink. He picked it up to see what was in it and one of the ingredients was called "white cloudy." In addition, it was also bottled with pulp. He decided to bring it to his office and give it a try while watching the doppler radar for inconsistencies.

He sat down and opened the can and was blown away. It was the pulpiest drink he had ever drank and whatever white cloudy was, it was like the white, fluffy clouds of the heavens opened up and gave him this drink. It tasted like a tremendously pulpy orange juice that was perhaps a little sweeter than regular orange juice.

That day he was so excited he stayed late at work, did research on a tornado, and stopped to get another can at the store on his way home. He had truly found a drink made for meteorologists with a special ingredient tailored for them.

Oh look, a lantern. It would be awesome if this was a...woah, it is a magic lantern. What's up, genie? Herb? Your name is Herb? Cool. I thought it would be something more, I don't know, majestic, but Herb is fine. Oh, oh, really? I get three wishes? This is awesome. I wish it were brighter in here so I could get around. I don't know how I got to this section of the castle. I was just checking my text messages and emails and walking aimlessly and ended up here. Oh...what the...that was a wish? I guess I did say, "I wish it was brighter." That one is on me, herb.

You know what? I'm thirsty. Could I have something to drink? No, what kind of a genie, oh, I get it. "I wish I could get something to drink. Woah. Do you have unlimited glitter? That's pretty cool. You'd be a hit in an art school. People would lay down some lines of glue and then all the kids would say, "I wish we had glitter!" and you would do your magic and art would happen.

Oh, you know what? I don't drink alcohol. Could I swap this with a non-alcoholic drink? What? I have to wish it? I have to say, "I wish this was non-alcoholic" for you to do it. That's...no...wait...come on! I just blew three wishes on light and one drink that I didn't want and one that I did want? This better be one heck of a drink, Herb. Ugh, what is this? You just took the alcohol out and left whatever else was in there? This is really bad. It's got a split second of candy sour apple and then it's just overwhelmingly terrible almost alcoholic tasting. It's kind of bitter like they might have used bad apples. Herb. Did you poison me? You didn't? Man, I wish you did. Wait...no!!!! Oh, I wasted my wishes. Now I'm kind of glad I wasted those because I would have just killed myself. Suicide by genie. That would be something. Thanks, Herb. Can you tell me how to get out of this castle? No? Alright, Herb. Thanks, I guess.

Mojitos aren't just for the Mexican or the lovers of Mexican food anymore! Was it ever that way? I rarely see people drink let alone drink mojitos. I like the idea of mint in a drink but there is an awful lot of mint in a mojito. People sit there and stab away at the mint and hope that they didn't just pay twelve dollars for ice and mint. Before we go any further, I know mojitos have lime and not lemon, but this very closely resembles that of a mojito so I'm going to push forward with it as is.

This is actually pretty refreshing drink. Light but adequate mint and equal parts lemon meet in the middle, shake hands like they sold each other a car at a very reasonable price, and do so very maturely. This does taste a bit like a watered down and for some reason minty lemonade but it's far enough away from it that I shouldn't bother mentioning it. It's just too bad that keyboards don't come with some sort of key that I could go back and erase. I mean, typewriters had it. Seems like an odd thing to forget after all these years.

Summer? Yes but for a limited time. If you can, find this, enjoy the sun, and try to surf. Even if you can get up for a couple seconds, that's enough to get the itch, right?

Remember when you were a kid and you would drop something, like ice cream on the street, and the next day you would walk down that very street and there would be a seemingly infinite amount of ants on it? I feel like if you spilled some of this on the ground, ants would come from all corners of the earth. Anyone who has a dog knows that you could be anywhere in the house and if you as much as touch a receptacle with food in it, the dog is right there, faithfully by your feet. Fruitopia is like that to ants.

Doing my most careful attempt at not spilling any in fear that ants would inhabit my body as a home for themselves, I drank this perhaps faster than I needed to. It was good, though, so it wasn't like I had to choke it down. It was, quite literally, a strawberry juice with passion fruit in it. Not an inventive review, I know, but there are no clever branding techniques or misinterpreted messages. Strawberries and passion fruit: Done and done. Check and check.

I finished the can at night and did an attempt to take a picture on a building ledge but was unsatisfied so I left it in my car to take a picture of today with the fear that I would open my door and a frightening mass of ants would just fall out like the world's most awful prank.

Did mango make some back door deal in order to blend so well with erythritol? While it is one of the least offensive zero calorie sweeteners on the market, it normally has a very distinct taste. When it's hanging around mango, it's not as apparent. Did they meet to exchange documents for cold hard cash in some dirty, dark parking garage? Did they use fake gruff voices until one of them inevitably coughed? Were Nixon masks worn? Was it all done to finance a surfing expedition? Find out the answers to all of this and more next week on the Adventures of Sneaky Pete (and Pete).

I have surprisingly been a fan of this line of beverages. The concept of oats, fruit juice and zero calorie sweeteners being mixed together didn't exactly produce a Pavlovian response from me. I guess that is because I haven't had the proper conditioning, which as it turns out simply means trying the drinks.

This tastes like a decent mango juice with a slight hint of erythritol, but as I said it's not all that bad. There is a very light oat taste to it as well. I originally expected some sort of texture, but it's as smooth as can be. The amount you taste the oats is similar to how any drink would taste if you drank it while hanging out in a horse barn. The association of the smell of that dwelling would impact your taste buds as much as the oats in this juice do.

Oh and the spoiler is that Pete is sneaky because he added oats to his drinks and you wouldn't know unless you were told. You should still watch the show though, from what I hear there will be “sexy results!!!”

There is so much flavor in each withered ball of produce that we call passion fruit. Such a hefty price for something so tiny seems ridiculous and unworthy, until you break that skin open and taste the flesh of the fruit within. The juice it contains is so strong that it is likened to a concentrate. While I don't recommend drinking a glass of Hawaiian Punch concentrate I do endorse eating as many of these little guys as you can get your hands on.

The intensity of the juice is where the “problem” exists. You see, it is great for flavoring other drinks. A passion fruit bubble tea is a beverage that is surely fit for royalty, but when you drink it in juice form it is almost too much. This may be the only juice that I would prefer to have slightly watered down, than in it's natural state. Compal doesn't dilute it quite enough to get it to where I would ideally want it, but they still make one heck of a juice. It's quite strong, and very sweet (I question the added sugar)

If you've never tasted a passion fruit before you are doing yourself a great disservice. Try it in any form. I have never had anything that was flavored with it that I have disliked.

Can we all agree that the beverage world has taken pomegranates and blueberries too far? It seems that nearly every company out there has that flavor in their line. Sure some of them add acai into the mix, but that's not really helping much. I understand the allure of antioxidants, but I'm just getting so tired of this flavor (orange mango is not that far behind). The thing is that these are flavors that I loved, and I was excited when they were more accessible in drink form, but enough is enough.

At least with this beverage V8 uses real juice, so it tastes like the fruit. They also mix in some other fruits (apples and white grapes) as well as some vegetables (sweet potatoes, purple carrots, tomatoes, and carrots), which give the drink a little something extra that makes it ticker and darker tasting. It's still primarily pomegranate and blueberry but you can certainly tell that there are some other flavors floating around in the mix.

If this were 5-10 years ago I probably been all over this drink, but it's too late in my beverage life to fully enjoy it the way that perhaps an eight year old would. Man, I wish I could enjoy this drink like he would. I also wish I could enjoy new music as much as he does. Looks like I'll be listening to R.E.M. for the millionth time and complain about how bands don't sound like this anymore. I'm old, it's my right.

I know I've complained about this before with the peach version of this drink, but “half and halfs” are supposed to be tea and lemonade, not tea and juice. In my book that is just a flavored tea. This tea doesn't make me think of professional golfers at all and it should with a name such as this.

All complaints aside this is a pretty decent tea. Tea's Tea (when did they drop the Ito En?) always uses high quality teas in its beverages. In fact if I were ever trying to explain the way a certain tea tastes I would give the person that version of Tea's Tea. They are the company that taught me that what Arizona calls green tea, is nothing more that a delicious bastardization of a perfect beverage.

In this bottle we have their perfect unsweetened green tea, with some acerola cherry juice mixed into it. It's more tea than cherry and I am okay with that. I do wish they had used a different type of cherry though. Acerolas are not what I'm used to and they have a slightly different flavor. The real disappointment in this drink (to me at least) is that they chose to sweeten it. Even though they didn't add too much sugar, I feel like it detracts from the taste of the green tea, and muddies all of the flavors a little. I am just nitpicking though. This is a beverage that I would happily drink again and again. I dream of the day that I see this companies products in every gas station across the country. As I get older the tall boy tea loses its allure. Sometimes you just want real tea that isn't made by Lipton.

Here I am stuck out in the middle of nowhere. I decided to rent this cabin for a week because I ran across an ad that had a picture of the most wondrous looking cabin with flowers everywhere in the yard. Apparently that picture was taken in 1972 because this place is a dump. There are mice turds everywhere and the ceiling is caving in on one of the rooms. I guess I should have known better as it was only $100 for the week. Ugh. The ad boasted that you would have the cleanest mountain water to drink from the well on the property. I wanted to get back to nature, so I packed light…€¦I mean real light. I brought one change of clothes, a knife, a flashlight and some beans and rice to cook over a fire. The problem is that since this ad has been running since before I was a fetus, it didn't take into consideration that the well has run dry. Here I am in a dilapidated cabin…€¦okay, let's be fair this is a shack at best and I have no water and no means to cook the limited food that I brought.

I found a hatch in the floor of the shed that led to some sort of makeshift basement pantry. There were a bunch of canned fruits and vegetables down there. I thought I was saved, but upon opening them most were completely spoiled. The only thing that I could find to eat was a jar of mandarin oranges. Those lasted me all of two minutes. I have been nursing the syrupy juice that was keeping them fresh though. It's like drinking a mandarin orange juice, with a decent helping of sugar added to it. It's not that bad, and sometimes I get a little strand of orange in the juice. Finding this cellar and it's contents gave me a little hope, but I am now certain that I will die in these woods. If only I could survive I might try to market this juice. I would call it Sac Sac. Don't ask why, I am delirious in a state of hunger. What do you mean, “Why don't I just drive back to civilization?” I'll tell you why, I am in touch with the Earth and I'll be damned if I can't survive off of the land for a week. One measly week! Why am I talking to a jar of spoiled pickled eggs? More importantly why is it asking me questions. All hops is truly lost.

No longer a one trick pony, Cheribundi has turned the world of cherries on its head yet again. Yes, they started with cherry only drinks. Then they had that little chocolate number that was pretty good. Now they've crossed the lines into the world of "regular" juices.

Drinking this makes me wonder why more companies don't use cherries. Cheribundi claim that each bottle of this stuff has twenty cherries in it. That's a lot of cherries. I don't think that I would eat twenty cherries in one sitting if I had a bushel of cherries at my disposal. This spoils me with its cherry intake.

How does it taste? It tastes like tart cherries but is "cut" with apple juice and sugar so it's not too tart. The raspberry is still in the mix even with the often overpowering cherry juice. If you are at all wondering, no, this doesn't taste like cough syrup so don't even think about that entry level cherry drink nonsense. Cheribundi has been consistently "Luden free" since I drank my first drink. They prove that it is possible to tame that wild beast and add a little raspberry pizzazz while they're at it.

When I was in college, pretty exclusively now that I think about it, I ate a lot of oatmeal. It was cheap. Yes I ate my fair amount of ramen but that comes with the territory. Had I known that ten years later I would be drinking oats, I would tell you that would be disgusting. Was ignorant, uneducated, me right? Future, smart, attractive me says, "Eh, 70%."

What you've got is an artificially sweetened apple juice that tastes more like a weak cider than an apple juice which actually give it a better rating that if it were just apple juice flavored apple juice. Where did that extra 30% go? Well it's simple. If you artificially flavored plastic beads to taste like artificially sweetened, light apple cider, you would have it. I can't pinpoint what makes that true but it is as true as non-provable stats can be.

You were close Sneaky Pete, but you left the bottle in the sun too long and let it infuse itself into your drink.

Supervillianry is a disease. It is not something that you can ever rid your life of. Once a supervillian, always a supervillian. The best one can hope is to be a supervillian in recovery. That is where Moloch the Mystic found himself in the early 80s; a supervillian in recovery. One important part of recovery is to keep oneself busy. Moloch did so by working on comparing lines of code for Adrian Veidt. When they proved to be not enough for his idle hands he created a beverage company, which he named after himself: Mistic.

In the beginning it was a huge deal. It was essentially wine coolers for kids ( you know non-alcoholic). Yes things were going well for Moloch, until that pesky cancer showed up and killed him dead. After that things kind of fell apart at the plant, but eventually they got their act together and production started anew. This time minus the bubbles.

Obviously the drinks aren't as good as they were in their heyday, but there is still a certain charm to them. Take this bottle of Tropical Fruit Punch for example. Sure they could have cheaped out and gone the Hawiian Punch route, but the folks at Mistic knew that their former president and CEO would never allow that. Instead they created a fruit punch that was a bit on the citrus side of things. It's a mixture of all things that would normally be thrown into a punch with slightly elevated levels of pineapple and orange. It really makes all the difference. Even though this is sweetened with HFCS, it is not too thick and syrupy.

It is a nice little treat that honors the legacy of a once terrible, then reformed man. Let us now bow our heads in remembrance of Moloch the Mystic, not for what he once was, but for the company he later created.