Juice - 935 Reviews

I cannot stress enough how this is not for everyone. I mean I think it's pretty obvious from the name and the ingredients listed right on the front that Joe and Sara Hamburger stand would never buy this in a million years to try, but I still feel like I needed to give a disclaimer. While it is not as intense as the vanilla bean flavored one, this ton bottle packs quite a punch. It's an extreme anti-oxidant cleansing formula full of turmeric, ginger, cardamom, spearmint, agave, lemon, sea salt, cayenne and cinnamon. Think about all of that mixed together. Doesn't it sound more like some sort of fancy soup, than a health drink? Well, that's pretty much what it tastes like a cold fancy soup that tastes like it just has to be insanely good for you, which it is. I know Tumeric is going to a niche market with this drink, but if they wanted to reach a wider audience perhaps marketing it as a healthy cold soup would interest more people. Who knows though, I'd gather that a large majority of the people in this world wouldn't care regardless. At least people would know what they were getting into before trying it though. If I were told this was a soup, my body would have been more prepared. As it is now, it's telling me, “Are you sure we should be ingesting this?” The answer is yes, of course.

The sweetness of the agave takes away a lot of the harshness of the other ingredients. It still tastes the way a spice shop smells, but that is what it is essentially. If you think about each of the ingredients while you are dinking it, each are easily identifiable. The ginger and the cayenne give it a nice little burn that I enjoyed a great deal, but my ladyfriend thought was a bit too much. What does she know though? She's no professional.

I'm having dèjà vu here kiddies. This tastes so familiar, that I had to go back and read our review for Honest Kids Super Fruit Punch. Just as I thought, this is basically the same light fruit punch, except with one little upgrade; there is no sugar added. I'd like to believe that I was partially responsible for that, seeing as it was the only complaint I had about it in pouch form. See, people do read us! This isn't a waste of time!

Do you see that completely fabricated wonderful blue sky and landscape on that bottle? When I drink this, I am there, and it is as real as anywhere. This is just plain wonderful. Like a lot of mixed fruit beverages the majority of juice in this is apple. It's a malleable juice that can take on the flavor of other fruits without overpowering them. Sure you can still taste the apple a bit, but it blends in nicely. It calms down the pineapple juice so it isn't so harsh as to give your throat the feeling that you just blew chunks in a public toilet. So you have this nice mild blend of pineapple and regular apple juices. That would be great as it is, but as Ralph & Charlie's is prone to do, they stepped up the game and added a bunch of carrots.

I like carrots. Actually, I borderline love carrots, but I had my reservations about this juice before I tried it. Carrots can be very overpowering in juice form, but in here they are team players. You can tell that there is a vegetable at work in the taste, but the fact that it is a carrot only slightly pokes its head out of the rabbit hole (all puns intended).

It's not fresh juice, and there is added sugar, but despite those things this tastes great, and you can drink it without feeling terrible about yourself. Well you can still feel terrible about yourself, but it will have nothing to do with your beverage choice.

I handed this to my friend/coworker and I told him to get "V Blasted." We knew it was gross, we acknowledged it was gross, and then moved on. He unscrewed the cap, shook it, and got juice on him. I promptly told him that he got "V blasted." We knew it was gross, we acknowledged it was still gross, and then we moved on.

I don't care what you say this is a juice. You can call it water all you want but I would like to see you give anyone this drink and have them not call it a juice. Stop it with the water. No one is offended by the word "juice." As a juice it is quite good. It's sweet and has a slight sting from the sucralose but is promptly covered up by a rush of…€¦you guessed it, strawberry and kiwi. Good flavors, too. Nothing at all bad.

You get to buy it, make it, shake it, and drink a pretty good juice all in a matter of seconds. It's a pretty good deal also not forgetting the fact that it is a downright disgusting name that you get to keep your mind in the gutter for. Ugh. VBlast.

Any time I drink fruit punch I imagine that if I had an array of fruit and hand-mushed them together, could I make a better drink? I'm not saying this is bad, but it's just a common thought that I have. You know that fruit punch came from someone making a fruit salad and then at the end of the day when all the fruit was gone some dared someone else to drink it. That drink was fantastic and from there, people recreated it. Now in the 20th century, people artificially make everything. I think at some point, Welch's probably had a bunch of fruit in a press and mechanically squished it into a vat. Now, they've probably found out how to "make" fruit flavors and it's a much smaller and more efficient operation.

This is a good juice. It's a good punch. It's very sweet and you can tell that it's very sweet. It's got corn syrup, which just seems wrong to me. I don't know why. I thought that Welch's was all natural. I thought wrong. This is a great drink for kids because it's super sweet and super fruity. Cruddy adults don't really drink fruit punch. If someone could somehow formulate an adult-friendly fruit punch, that would be alright with me.

Kids nowadays. You are spoiled brats. When I was a kid, we had orange juice, apple juice, and Hugs. Juice was terrible in comparison to now. You brats. This juice is so good. It's light, tangy, fruity, organic, and doesn't have any artificial flavors or any sugar. As lemonade it's great and as juice it's great. It wins all over the board. Kids, you are jerks because of the garbage that I had to drink. I know it's not your fault. You should know it's not your fault but I'm still holding you a little responsible. It's not really a jealousy thing either since even though I'm an adult, I can still drink whatever you drink. I don't care if it's for kids. You can't have it all to yourselves and also, I'm an adult and you have to respect me. As your (immature) elder, you have to allow me to drink your juice. You know what? You're grounded. I'm taking all your juice, especially if it's this good.

Let's talk about celery a bit. Celery that comes in the little baggy with an order of wings is great. Do they do that everywhere, or is that just a Buffalo thing? It doesn't matter. What does matter is that wings come with carrots and celery sticks and a little thing of blue cheese. Now blue cheese is completely disgusting at any time other than this, but here it is acceptable. I love celery then. I have been known to enjoy a Cel-Ray soda. I am not a big fan of celery in soup and such, as I always thought it was the cooking of it that made it an overpowering flavor.

Cut to me sitting down with this drink and being excited. It has spinach, kale, cucumber and ginger as major players in it. Those are all flavors that I generally love. This was to be an even healthier take on Bolthouse and Naked's “green” drinks, which it is. There is no sugar added to this it's made with fresh raw fruits and vegetables, but the problem lies in the celery. With every sip I get that same flavor that tends to ruin a lot of soups for me. I was confused as to why Life Juice would use a vegetable that is so overpowering in flavor when it is known to be a “negative calorie” food. This caused me to do some research and I learned that celery actually has a ton of health benefits, from helping to lower blood pressure and cholesterol to helping to prevent cancer. Perhaps I do need more celery in my life. How about all of you start ordering more wings, so I can eat the stuff that comes with that and negate the health benefits by dipping it in wing sauce and blue cheese.

Okay, I got off on a tangent. Other than the celery this is yet again one of the freshest tasting bottled juices I have ever drunk. The apple juice gives it just a touch of sweetness, so it doesn't taste like you're just drinking a bottle of vegetables, which I really have no problem with, but I could see that turning off people…€¦a bottle of vegetables that is.

Actually now that I'm nearly done with the bottle the celery flavor isn't nearly as strong. I must be becoming acclimated to it, as I gave it a nice shake before I drank it. If the taste I am at now, was there from the beginning I would have had no complaints at all. I can still notice the celery, but it's blended in with the other flavors and not out front punching you in your stupid nose. Drinking this makes me want to eat better. I don't eat like complete garbage, but each sip reminds me of how good healthy things can be, and how much I enjoy vegetables even when they aren't pan fried into noodles or rice as I am prone to do.

I would love to go to the UK but the more I do this site, the more fearful of blackcurrant I am. I mean, really. Have the people in Europe had grapes. Italy is right there. They had to have had grapes before. I think that grapes are a meal in between breakfast and brunch for Italians in Italy. Blackcurrant is like your friend's brother that is going through that "smelly" phase of fifteen where he doesn't know when or how to use deodorant. They look a lot alike and have a lot of the same mannerisms but one stinks.

This isn't bad and if I had to assign a demographic that would like this, it would be young British kids because I don't think that American kids could handle the bitterness. It does taste like blackcurrant and if you don't know what that is, think of a concord grape with a bit of tang to it. This is a pretty good representation of that but I'm not really on board with it yet. Perhaps if I ever go there I will be so surrounded by blackcurrant, that I will just have no choice but to suck it up and eat/drink/bake/cook/wear it all the time.

This is one of the craziest drinks I have ever tried. In true Thirsty Dudes fashion I tried it before looking at the ingredients list. I like to see if I can figure out what's in it on my own, instead of actively looking for flavors that I know to be in it. Now due to that I had expected this to have a juice base with everything else thrown in the mix for the health benefits (anti-oxidant, cleansing, increased metabolism, alkalize muscle tissues, boost your immune system, help with digestion and circulation, promote skin health, and help with detox). After one sip, I knew I was wrong. What we have here is a water based drink that has raw honey, lemon juice, turmeric, ginger, Celtic sea salt, spearmint, cayenne and whole vanilla bean added to it. Depending on who you are that could either be ridiculously enticing, or make you want to dump it into a landfill without so much as cracking the seal. For those of you who fall in the latter category, stop being such babies and give “weird” things a try.

I will be the first to admit that this is certainly not a drink for everyone, and I'm not even certain that it's for me, but I happily gave it a try. It basically tastes like someone took a bunch of spices and mixed it into a drink to be a jerk and give it to their friend. The thing is that it didn't work the way the jerk was hoping. His friend didn't throw up. The honey and the vanilla made the rest of the spices not seem too insane. They mellowed it all out a bit. The friend didn't blow chunks upon drinking it, and in fact he enjoyed it in some strange way.

While this is not something that I would ever drink for enjoyment, it's an interesting twist on a health-based beverage. If I think about them as I drink it I can taste each individual ingredient. When was the last time you had a drink that you could do that with? Tumeric calls this “Yoga in a bottle,” and I have no complaints to say otherwise.

Before I even start this I would like to say that if you are a big baby and don't like the taste of vegetables don't even bother with this drink. This drink doesn't want people like you to drink it. There are plenty of people out there who would love and treat it the way it deserves to be treated.

There are five simple ingredients here: apple, purple cabbage, parsley, lemon and ginger. These five little things make a truly wonderful beverage. If you ever wondered what health tasted like, look no further than this bottle. All five flavors are easily distinguishable with each sip. Even after a good shake, the parsley is the most present with the first couple of mouthfuls. It's kind of like chewing on some parsley and then taking a big gulp of juice. It sounds kind of gross, but in reality it's nice and refreshing. After you start to become accustomed to it, the other flavors blossom into greatness. For those of you with sensitive mouths, you'll be happy to know that you can taste the ginger, but it doesn't have a crazy burn to it.

If you've ever gotten a beverage at a juice bar you probably have a good idea of what this is like. I've never had a bottled juice that tasted so fresh before. You could have told me that this came fresh out of the juicer and I would have no reason to question you.

This is cold pressed and raw. I never thought about the way fruit and vegetables are juiced, but now that I have had this, and it's so simple, I have to say that cold pressed is the way to go. On top of that I've has an upset stomach for most of the day, and this definitely helped in easing my minimal suffering.

Dude? I'll drink thicker drinks all of the day. Creamy, syrupy, so on and so forth. I'll do it. Thing about it is that I want to know what I'm getting into when I open drinks. This drink was a strange, syrupy drink. It tasted fine, a lemon lime drink that isn't carbonated which, if you think about it, is kind of weird. When have you ever drunk a drink that is lemon lime that isn't pop? I don't think they make many of those. Associating a flavor with a type of drink aside, this drink is still a little strange. It tastes like they used a gallon of agave. I like agave, but it seems to make the drinks a little thicker than you might be used to.

Kids are dumb. They'll drink anything as long as it's sweet. This is sweet and has kids playing soccer and skateboarding and stuff on the package. Kids will love it. It's made for kids, not disgustingly cynical thirty year olds. Kids? Get some standards. Me? Lay off kids. They're just kids.

Driving down some old country road Martin passed a fruit stand. He decided he would treat himself to a nice healthy snack, so he turned around and stopped. Being from the big city he couldn't believe how cheap the produce was at this stand. Knowing that he would kick himself for passing up such a great deal, he bought the entire stock and told the peddler to go enjoy the rest of the day as they loaded it into the back of his BMW. As he drove off into the summer haze Martin chucked an apple core out of the window and cranked up the Huey Lewis on the stereo.

It's now a week later in Martin's high-rise luxury apartment and the air is starting to thicken with fruit flies. Martin had never bought large quantities of produce before. He would normally stop by the local Whole Foods and buy what he needed for the meal he was making that night. Now that he had a couple of crates improperly stored around the apartment, he didn't know what to do with it. It hadn't all fit into his fridge with all his bottled water and micro brewed beer, so he had left it on the counters. That's how people seemed to store their fruit in movies. Apparently the silver screen had lied to him. He called his sister in Tampa to see if she had any ideas and she recommended he try the juicer she had bought him last Christmas, which was undoubtedly sitting unopened in the back of his closet. It was. Not knowing how to actually make juice Martin just dumped it all in together; sweet potatoes, grapes, apples, peaches, carrots, and mangos. He had no idea why a fruit stand in rural Illinois was selling mangos, but they were fifty cents each, so how could he pass that up.

It was only when he was pouring himself his first glass that Martin realized that he might have made a horrible mistake mixing everything together. Mangos and sweet potatoes, what was he thinking? He took a tentative sip, and then a much larger gulp. Everything was coming up Marvin. It was delicious. It had a general sweet fruit flavor, with the peaches and the mangos more exposed than everything else. There was an ever so slight vegetable flavor in the background, but he thought that no one would ever notice that unless they were told what was in it. The more he drank, the more he decided he liked it. He pulled up Wikipedia and did some searching and found exactly how healthy this drink he had created was. He also looked up ways to get rid of fruit flies…€¦it looked like he was going to have cups of vinegar around the house for a few days. That was unfortunate, but this juice was great and healthy for him. It was then that he decided to call his uncle Mort who was a big wig at Tropicana and sell them his juice. He decided he would call it “Fruit Stand.” As he waiting for the secretary to patch him into his uncles office he began to daydream of how he would retire from this deal and spend the rest of his days following around Huey Lewis like he was the Grateful Dead. Life was good for Martin.

I have never drunk apple nectar before. Since most beverages that are labeled nectars are basically a thicker version of the juice, I was expecting this to be somewhere between apple juice and applesauce. Excitement ran high. Let it be known that when I purchase a bottle of applesauce I do not eat it with a spoon like a normal civilized human being. Instead I drink it straight from the bottle, and it's glorious. Why dirty your silverware?

Unfortunately this was only slightly thicker than normal apple juice. I would estimate that there is maybe a spoonful of applesauce mixed in with the rest of the drink. It has a little texture, but nothing to write your congressman about. The real downfall of the drink is the added sugar. If there were ever a juice that did not need added sweetener it was that of the apple. Adding sugar to apple juice gives it a weird candy flavor, which is not what I want at all. If this would have been a thicker/slightly more textured apple juice I would have been pumped. Instead it's sweetened apple pulp concentrate that has way to much sugar in it for any self respecting lover of the fruit.

Did you know that Mountain Dew has a new CEO? That may or may not be shocking to you, but what you will say “wait whhhhhhaaaaa?” to is that fact that the new man in charge is no one other than Motley Crue bass player, Nikki Sixx. In a press release he assured stockholders that his crucial rocking will not interfere with the running of the business. He was quoted as saying, “If I can get our sound guy to teach me how to use Photoshop on the bus, that I can certainly run a multinational company from that very same home on wheels.” This left many people in the business and soda world shaking their heads until Mr. Sixx announced the release of a new line of Mountain Dew drinks called “Kick Start.” The newly appointed head of the company then told the world that the product tag line would be “Kick Start your heart from another overdose.” This left shareholders even more bewildered.

We recently received samples of this new line, and everyone at Mountain Dew can calm themselves down as no such tagline exists anywhere on the packaging. In fact it looks rather tasteful and one would never expect that a person capable of such debauchery had anything to do with its creation. The flavor of the Fruit Punch version isn't all that bad either. Even though it is sweetened primarily by high fructose corn syrup, it's not as think as you would expect, especially for being a fruit punch. It has 5% juice in it, all of which seems to be grape juice for some reason. If I had to break it down for you, which I do, I would say it tastes like someone mixed two parts of mild fruit punch in with one part regular Mountain Dew. It's not mind-blowing, or anything all that new, but it tastes pleasant enough.

It has 92mg of caffeine in it, which is slightly more than regular Mountain Dew and about half of the amount in a comparable sized coffee. I know they are trying to push this as a morning drink, but I really have no interest in drinking anything carbonated within the first couple hours that I'm awake. Mountain Dew obviously is always marketed towards younger folks, but man even in college I wouldn't have drank this until the afternoon. Rumor has it that Mr Sixx has been on a steady diet of nothing and Kick Start for the past month. He has overdosed a half dozen times in that time period.

Thirsty Dudes' friend Diana and her sister have a serious problem. It's to such an extent that I am looking into getting them on Intervention. No, they are not alcoholics, nor are they popping pills. They aren't even hysterically inhaling computer cleaner. Their addiction is something so much more sinister. The Vito sisters are addicted to the Dutch food, toast sprinkles.

“Like junkies waiting for their sweet, sweet fix” these two sisters will drive up to St Catharines, ON in order to fill up their tiny hatchback with box upon box of little chocolate sprinkles to put on their buttered toast. It is truly a sickness that needs professional attention, and perhaps a television spot.

I suppose we did benefit from their addiction as on a recent trip Diana brought me back this bottle of juice/lemonade concentrate. Let me rephrase that, “this enormous bottle of juice/lemonade concentrate.” Seriously it would take me years to get through this bottle as you add a tablespoon of concentrate to a glass of water. It is a mixture of apple, strawberry, elderberry and rosehip concentrate. It tastes like what I always hope fruit punch tastes like before I take a sip. This is 75% fruit, which is more than can be said about most fruit punch. It mostly just tastes like a mixture of strawberries and elderflower, which is a recipe for greatness. I mixed it with normal water, but I think if it were added to sparkling water, I would be in for a real treat.

Now back to pestering the folks at intervention, so I can make one of my friends day and embarrass the other a great amount.

Apparently this is supposed to be a morning drink so you can 'kick start your day'. So it's competing against coffee and energy drinks essentially, two things I love and definitely drink a lot. When I first heard about this new drink from Mountain Dew, I thought it was just going to either be a repackaging of their energy drink Amp, or a slightly modified version of Mountain Dew Livewire. At least that was what I was expecting when I tried it.

Those who hate energy drinks will be pleased to hear that this is nothing like them taste wise. And despite high fructose corn syrup being the second ingredient, it's not syrupy like a soda. It has a consistency closer to sparkling juice, but with much more sugar (and caffeine). It's not quite as refreshing as most sparkling juices I've had, but it's definitely easier to drink than soda. As far as the orange taste goes, it's closer to orange soda than orange juice.

So will this drink replace coffee and energy drinks? Maybe for some people but it's not a groundbreaking drink. But that is also coming from someone who loves coffee and energy drinks so I'm probably not their target demographic.

This is going to be half review, half reminiscence, and half celebrators since this is our 3000th review. Since all of them have to happen at the same time, let's just start with the Thirsty Dudes ode to new drinks. Jay and I went to Toronto and stopped periodically at multiple shops. Our love for Thirsty Dudes is international. We travel beyond both state and country lines just in order to get drinks. This is a juice. I had to present my passport to get juice. Come on. Would you do that? You might? We do. When we are on vacation, we do it big. I went to Brooklyn this past weekend on an impromptu "vacation" and number one thing on my list was to get local root beer. Come on. What a waste of time but we love it. We're in Canada and there is a Whole Foods. We bought a ton of stuff, like forty drinks each, and yes, like this one, some of them were "house brand" but things need to get done. Drinks need to get drank. Sure, it took me well over two months to drink it but hey, we've got a cache of drinks. This, finally, was pretty good. It's about time that I get a nice, high quality juice. It's got a good blueberry taste but is dense. It's flavorful and bold. It's not cut with anything. I could have stretched this out probably 25% just by watering it down and it still would have been good.

In hindsight, this is not my favorite juice. It never was, but I'm summing it all up. Wrapping it up in a little package. It's good, I mean look, I gave it a four out of five. That's good, but this is the 3000th review. This should have been reserved for something epic like a cherry flavored slime with sparkles in it. I would have loved to reserve that for ol' Bernie Mac but we can't wait too long or we're not going to have reviews.

You know us. We don't only review good stuff. We review good stuff poorly and bad stuff well. We make up stories, tall tales, fish tales, and reflect on our past. We bring our family, friends, past relationships, and dreams into our reviews. You get to see inside our deranged minds with a lot of reviews and it gives you an insight into our lives and the people we are. We're three dudes that are friends that are creative idiots that like to drink stuff because it gives us something to talk about.

We talked about what we were going to do and the only thing we could think about was having a pizza party at a place that has been closed for probably twenty years that we each went to when we were eight and playing the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles arcade game and then talking about the advantages of each specific turtle. We're immature kids. We're dumb idiots. We love what we do. Thanks for letting us get to 3000. Tell your friends.

Good things come in small cans. That sounds like some tagline for drink company X that ended up on the editing floor. I imagine Bob thought of the tagline on the way to work after days of emails that yielded no good ideas. He was probably so excited and couldn't wait to get to work for the first time in 20 years. He gave hints to his co-workers before the 9:30 meeting that he had a great idea.

The problem was he built it up so much that when they heard the mediocre tagline, they passed on it. He was devastated and always told the story over drinks with friends.

I almost forgot that I hadn't reviewed this drink yet. It's delicious is what I was trying to get at. It's really light and crisp and full of mango flavor. If it weren't so full of sugar I would drink these all the time.

Show me someone who doesn't like peaches and I will show you a being that is obviously not human. Peaches are glorious. They are juicy and delicious and I just can't get enough of them. The thing about peaches is though, they should not be chopped up into chunks and left to float in a can of peach juice. They tend to start to break down a bit. Being the consummate professional that I am, that doesn't bother me one bit, but I feel the texture of these chunks could be a turn off to some people.

I also don't understand why this can needs to contain things such as citric acid, xanthan gum and white cloudy antifoaming agent. Juice, water, sugar and peaches are all you should ever need/want in a juice like this; well you could even do without the sugar. That being said this juice is fine. It tastes like peach juice and it has a ton of peach chunks. Aliens would be so pissed.

Day one in Brooklyn was a success. My flight was on time. I didn't get hassled at the gate. I took the right subway from the airport. I Google Map'd it successfully to my destination. I handled it like a pro. We went to dinner and got a fantastic pizza and then went to get dessert. They didn't have the cookies we were looking for so we got a berry pie, which was awesome. While we were in the store, I checked for drinks and there were a lot of them. I settled on this one, which might be my most expensive drink I have ever purchased to date at $7. My buddy put it into perspective by saying that is what regular people spend on drinks every time they drink so it all evened out.

When we got home, we talked about what we've been up to, ate pie, and I drank this and it was pretty fantastic. It was slightly spicy with the cayenne pepper and the lemon was like really sour lemonade so together it was a wonderful assault on my mouth. The agave…€¦whatever. It might have smoothed everything out and left less of a bite and perhaps less calories than with, say, cane sugar. I have no complaints. This drink was great, though, and I'm happy to have finally found one to review.

Tomorrow we have all sorts of activities planned so there should be more reviews of probably expensive city drinks. I said that like I live in Iowa on some farm and this is my first time in an urban environment.