Juice - 935 Reviews

I want a physical version of the hybrid fruit that is on this label. The top of a pineapple, the bottom of an orange, and the middle is just gigantic sweet, sweet strawberry parts. Science has to have come along far enough that this could be engineered in a lab somewhere. I don't even care that it wouldn't be natural, because it would be amazing. I do suppose they would have to toughen up the skin on the strawberry, so that it wouldn't get mashed, but I'm willing to have to peel my strawberry middle. Science if you create this for me I will owe you one hell of a solid.

Since this has yet to be created by gloriously evil scientists in a lab, Dole did the next best thing and combined the three juices. Seriously, why has this not been done before? You see pineapples and oranges mingling together, but it's rare that you see them in the company of a strawberry, unless it's in some sort of fruit salad. I understand that pineapples and oranges are both citrus/tropical fruits, so they obviously go well together, but think outside of the box people. Just because strawberries are grown in the northeast, doesn't mean they won't pair nicely with some citrus fruit, which it does in a great way.

There is no sugar added in this juice. It's just fruit doing all the work, the way life should be. The sweetness of the strawberries helps to keep the acidity of the pineapple and oranges in check. It also gives it that little push it needs to make it stand out over other juices in the cooler of my grocery store.

Until science picks up the slack and makes me my Frankenstein fruit, I'll just have to keep drinking this juice.

Dear Rubicon, I wanted to tell you that you've come a long way, but then I remembered that I actually loved the juices you sold in juice box form. I had expected them to be overly sweetened and watered down versions of the pure fruit, and while they did have extra sugar added to them, they were fairly spectacular. Any slight reservations I had about your juices have been thrown out the window by the addition of a few tiny bubbles. This actually tastes less sweet than the juice version, and I am fine with that. It's guava puree spiced up with a little sugar and some carbonated water. It tastes like real guavas, which makes it automatically better than 90% of the drinks in the world. Rubicon, you have proved yourself yet again and I can't wait to see what you have planned next.

Color me jealous that this is a Canadian drug stores' house brand. Why can't Walgreens, CVS or Rite Aid have products this good? I live right near a couple of stores and I would walk to them more often for a drink such as this. It's simply carbonated mineral water and juice. It's a mixture of grapefruit, grape, lemon and apple juices, but it really just tastes like someone juiced a grapefruit into some sparkling water. I'm assuming the apple juice is there to sweeten it up a tad, as while it is fairly bitter, it's not over the top face making bitter. It's great regardless, and I wish it were available in the States. Looks like I will be stocking up the next time I head up to Canada.

Every time I looked at this drink I saw snakes. Confused? Let me explain. Remember in Pee Wee's Big Adventure when the pet store is burning and Pee Wee keeps going in to save the pets, but each time he shivers as he passes the aquarium of snakes, because he knows that eventually he's going to have to reach in and save those snakes? Well this drink is like the contents of that aquarium.

Pears and I are not on the best of terms. When I was growing up the old lady who lived next door had two pear trees in her backyard that she never took care of. Come fall her backyard would be full of the stench of rotting pears that littered the lawn, which brought a bunch of bees and other bugs along with it. This eventually over spilled into my backyard. Bees and decay are not a fun combination. Ever since then I have this thing about pears that I can't shake. Even though we have absolutely loved every other flavor of the Sonoma Sparkler line it has taken me five months to finally drink this soda because of the cursed pear.

I was a fool. This sparkling juice is better than anyone could have ever expected. Yes, this would surprise even pear enthusiasts. The way the pears mix in with the apples is spectacular. They become a Ying and Yang of fruit juices. Neither overpowers the other. They just live in harmony. With no sweeteners added this is nothing but carbonation and juice, which makes it an unbeatable healthy force.

I have faced my fears. I came out with an armful of snakes and I didn't scream and pass out like that baby Pee Wee. In fact, I'm ready to head back in to save some more.

Before I knew there was a “proper” way to cut up a mango I would just go into them like a savage. By the end of my feasting I would have sticky juice dripping from my face and hands, and I would have strings of mango pulp stuck in my teeth. I looked like a wolf that had just torn apart its prey, except instead of blood and gore I had juice and pulp. The fruit turns me into a wild thing. Now that I know there is a way to cut it to make it easier and cleaner, I feel like I have finally been domesticated and in turn sophisticated. I am now a grown ass man.

This juice starts off very similar to what my savagery tasted like. Then it suddenly takes a weird direction. You can differentiate the added sugar from the natural kind. It also has a weird aftertaste that I can't place. It certainly doesn't taste like it should be a part of any sort of fruit. I don't get it and I don't appreciate its presence. I just want pure mango juice, and I knew this wasn't that, but I hoped it would be closer than it turned out to be.

Kiki darling, I simply could not eat a single pancake more. Why whatever are we to do with all of these buckets of left over maple syrup? Don't give me that look. I have already eaten 37 of them, and they were all slathered with the delicious syrup you bought, but I simply could not eat another bite. To make matters worse the syrup is in open buckets for some strange reason, and we haven't a thing to cover them. The rodents that run rampant on our palatial estate will devour it for certain and I can't bear to see it go to waste in such a manner.

Wait, why don't we water it down with some…€¦well water and then we can store it in those ridiculous jugs your brother keeps bringing home. I don't care if it's buy a jug to take home down at the mead pub, those things are ridiculous, and until now useless. Hmm. Maple water is all fine and dandy, but I think we may have watered it down a bit too much. There is only the faintest tinge of maple in the flavor, but it does give it a nice sweetness. How about we add some of those blueberries you picked, but forgot to put on my pancakes? Oh well that made it a great deal better. It now tastes like a watered down lightly sweetened blueberry juice. I wish the blueberry flavor was a bit stronger, but we did have to spread it though all of these dumb jugs. I have no real complaints about it though. I bet the townfolks would love to try some. Why don't you go take a few jugs down to them? Oh and Kiki, you're the best helper monkey ever.

With each sip I grow more uncertain as to whether I should review this or not. It's not the flavor. That is nice and pineappley as it should be. It tastes like it was squeezed right from the fruit, but somehow a lot of the acidity was lost. My concern is that this can has so many chunks of pineapple in it that I no longer know if I can refer to it as a drink. When the ratio of physical fruit to juice is tipped to the fruit side, is it still a drink? Is the juice instead a vehicle to keep the pineapple “fresh?” I like fruit chunks in my drink, but this is just out of control.

This is one of those beverages that walks the line between a soda pop and sparkling juice. I really don't even know how I make the differentiation any more. I guess if there is no sweeteners added it is just sparkling juice by default. It could also be said that if it is sweetened with HFCS, or has an overabundance of sugar in it, it is classified as a soda. This has sugar added to it, but it's evaporated cane juice, and it falls under juice on the ingredients list. I'm just going to proclaim that it is both, as in the larger scheme of life it does not matter at all. What does matter is that it is delicious. Just this morning my girlfriend pulled out a container of blackberries that she had been hiding from me in the fridge. I can't blame her, when they are put in front of me I can't stop myself and I just keep eating them until they are gone. Case in point I think she ate 2 or 3 today and I ate the rest of them. I would say I was a glutton, but it's fruit, so does that even count as gluttonous? The important thing is I have the memory of the actual fruit fresh in my mind, and this drink is not far from it. The berries they used taste like they weren't completely ripe, but I know that is actually how a lot of people prefer their blackberries. It's just a little more tart than one would expect from a berry soda. That is helped by the low amount of sugar that is added to it. There are only 13g of sugar in this bottle and in the world of non-diet sodas that is like nothing. This is a beverage that tastes great that you don't have to feel guilty about drinking.

Look at Rubicon stepping up their line and their image. They have given the contents of their juice boxes with some carbonation and packaged them in these fancy little cans. Seriously it's the same juice, just carbonated and it's glorious. For those of us with dreams of passionfruit, mango and guava sodas that actually taste like juice and not some weird bastardization of it, the dream has become a reality. Sure this is pretty sweet, but so is the actual fruit, and it's pop now, so it's supposed to be sweet. Don't complain, just be grateful that they actually did things right and it tastes like you're eating fruit, and not like fake flavoring or seltzer.

Okay soldiers, this is your training for the Great Citrus Army. You will enter here oranges, but many of you will leave as so much more. Some of you will also be rejected and be forced into the concentrate army. No one wants to see that happen, so try your best and show us what you are made of. It is the time to find out if you are a TropiCANa or a TropiCAN'Ta.

Today you will be paired up with the pineapple division. Those of you who are lucky enough to pass this test will end up bleeding along with the respected pineapples and will become an elite force that is greater as a whole then it's individuals. Only the strongest of oranges will make it into this regiment: those of strong flavor, and those who are not afraid to be separated from their pulp. This is a pulpless unit folks, and I don't want to hear any complaints otherwise. Sure we all love a little bit of chunk in out drinks, but that in not what this is about. Also, be warned that there will be no sugar added to this unit, so you will have nowhere to hide. You're flavors will be laid bare.

You oranges will be at the forefront fighting bravely so that the few pineapples can sneak behind enemy lines to unleash their flavor. It is never too strong, but it's there enough to let the enemy know who is boss. They have even enlisted to help of a lone peach to aid them in the advancement of their flavor.

This is what we've been fighting for soldiers, so let's show them what we're made of. To Morning and Beyond!

I'll tell you something. I have never seen a mangosteen and if you ask me if it's a "real fruit," I couldn't tell you. Sure there is a convincing picture of it on the front of this can but it kind of looks like someone took an orange, colored it pink, and opened it from the top like an idiot. No one talks about it as "their favorite fruit" but I can at least see why it's called "mangosteen" because someone is terribly unoriginal and decided to integrate the word "mango" with a possibly made up fruit that tastes like a mango. Darwinian theory makes me wonder how this fruit exists. We have mangoes and they are pretty good but then this guy comes along and tastes like it but do we really need more of the same thing? One or the other friends and scientists and scientist friends. You make a drink like this which is possibly at it's core of what this tastes like as the ingredients are what you would hope and expect; water, mangosteen puree, and cane sugar. How much better could it get? Oh, I don't know. Use a real fruit? I'm skeptical of this guy and I have my eyes on it. Don't lie to me fruit.

I've got a special friend coming over later and I have everything just right to set the mood. I have dinner in the oven, I have the lights slightly dimmed, and I got a little boss nova beat playing in the background. I even went as far as to get this juice to accompany the music. Things need to be just right to make this a magical evening. I hope that this juice not being the greatest doesn't throw off the vibes I'm trying to throw out there. I was hoping for it to be heavier on the blueberry side than the acai, but we don't always get what we hope for. It certainly starts off with a nice strong blueberry taste, but then about a half a second late you are punched in the tongue by acai. No lie every single sip it happens. Acai is just such a strong taste that I know is hard to overcome. Using it is worth it though due to its health benefits. If you hate the flavor of said fruit, like I know a lot of people do, I would stay away from this juice. I mean what would you be doing buying an acai juice if you know you're going to hate it anyways.

Oh there's the doorbell. Mike is finally here. What? No I wasn't preparing for sexy times. Mike is bringing over his drum machine and new keyboard and we're going to write some songs. Why would I make tacos for sexy time? WE just decided we've already wrote enough songs about BBQs so it's about time we moved onto tacos…€¦and bossa nova beats.

ps. This is obviously a made up story because Mike would never use the doorbell. What isn't made up is that we have written probably over 100 songs about BBQs over the past 8 years. Sadly, none have used a crappy bossa nova beat.

What a day, right? I got a new phone that doesn't really work well, I have an old lady next door that doesn't want to call the insurance company about her house falling apart onto my fence and car, and I have juice. Great. Is it a great juice? Eh, it's good. It's kind of thick, if I may be so blunt. It's appley tangy and if I may be blunter, I like a little more fruit in my punch. This is a simple punch. The model, if you will. Grapes, apples, crappy pears, cherry. If I went to a party, I would dig in and leave a quarter of the fruit, i.e.: pears, in the bowl. It's good, though. Simple. Elegant. If you went to a black tie affair, this is the punch you would have. If you are wearing a black tie, you're too good for things like mangoes and/or pineapples. Please. Import fruit. This is a fancy affair. Look at the women wearing hats. This is fancy. If you're eating passion fruit, you get downstairs with the help. We're drinking punch up here.

What can I say about the grosvenor momordica that hasn't been said a million times before? I mean it is the most common foodstuff on this planet we call Earth. I can't remember a day when I didn't wake up in the morning and pour myself a large bowl of grosvenor for breakfast. Well I must have been but a wee child the last time I went without it.

For those of you who are visiting from other planets or galaxies I will do my best to describe this most familiar of foods. I mean how does one describe something that is as common as water? It is a fruit that grows on a vine that, and it is said to be 300 times sweeter than sugar, but it is naturally low in calories. You may also know it by it's more commonplace name: monk fruit. When it's made into a drink like this one it is typically mixed in with some liquorice root. The result is a beverage that is fairly sweet, but tastes like a watered down throat coat tea. I can't believe I actually typed all of that out since you all obviously know exactly what it tastes like. I'm sure the mental image I painted left your mouth watering and you made your way to the pantry to prepare yourself a nice little snack that will give you the comfort of your childhood blankie.

If there is truly a substantial amount of coconut water in this bottle to pass on the health benefits to me then Naked has done a wonderful thing. The flavor/chalkiness of the coconut water is all but indecipherable. That might turn some people off, but for someone who loves juice and is okay with coconut water, but wouldn't actively buy it, this is perfect. You have peaches and guavas living in harmony as they pass over your tongue to their deaths in your digestive system. They apparently already raided the coconut camp and were celebrating when I decided to drink this. Poor dead coconuts.

Who doesn't like Gifts, especially when they are drinks? Actually, especially when they are guava juice? My ladyfriend brought this home for me as she stopped in a little market to buy food coloring or some such thing. Is it sad that I care more about drinks then cookies? If so, I am a sad individual deserving of your pity. You should try to make me feel better with more drinks. I think that would be just the thing to help.

This juice is different than other guava stuff that I have had in the past. The main difference is that I believe all I've ever tasted before this was pink guava, not this white variety. The variation is very noticeable in the flavor. While the pink variety is very sweet and flavorful, the white is more laid back. It has a very similar flavor, but it's just not as strong. I definitely prefer the pink, but I have would have no issues with settling for the white if it were all that was available.

Another New Years Eve has come and gone, which means that so has another bottle of sparkling juice. As you may or may not know non-drinkers like myself celebrate the obligatory times in much the same way that children do. I think I get the same enjoyment out of it as well. This year I decided to get a little fancier than my typical sparkling grape juice so I went with cranberry juice…€¦cran-apple. I hear that it is just about impossible to get out of sheets from Santa Fe, so I took care not to spill in on any of the fancy gowns that surrounded me, and by that I mean t-shirts and jeans. I don't hang with an upscale crowd much.

First thing to note about this is that it is not a twist cap. I had to pry off the cap on the side of the stage of the club I was DJing at like a savage, because unlike a Boy Scout I am rarely prepared. The effort to open it was worth it though, as this is one delectable celebratory beverage. It's just apple and cranberry juice mixed together with some bubbles added. The apple juice sweetened it enough to take away the bitterness of the cranberries, but their flavor was still present. It's basically a higher quality carbonated version of Ocean Spray. I will definitely have to pick up more of this for my next soirèe. Oh yeah, remember: Nothing changes on New Years Day…€¦remember when U2 was a great band? I certainly do.

The Mighty Morpin Power Rangers were just after my time. My brother who is 3 years younger than me was into them, but I had no interest in the show/toys. I'm assuming I was "too old" for it, even though I knew of at least one friend of mine in my grade that watched the show and bought the action figures.

I haven't heard about the Power Rangers in a long time, a decade or so probably. I attribute this to not watching TV, not frequenting Toys 'R' Us, and not paying attention to the toys my younger cousins play with. I found this juice box at Big Lots, the store where drinks go to die. I just assumed it was 5 years old and would probably make me puke. Like a true Thirsty Dude, I obviously bought it.

I totally forgot I bought it until December 25th when I saw my cousin opening a new Power Rangers toy. It was puzzling to me, and reminded me of the juice boxes I had purchased. So I did a little research and found out Power Rangers have continually been on the air in one form or another since it first aired in 1993. Power Rangers Samurai, which is what series this juice box is from, is the 18th season. Eighteen! That is ridiculous. Seinfeld only had 9 seasons, so Power Rangers has been on twice as long.

Anyways, this juice box taste like every other "berry" juice box I've ever had. I don't know how I enjoyed these things when I was a kid. It's bland and has a bitter/sour aftertaste. No thank you.

There are a bunch of fruits on the label of this drink, and even more are listed in the ingredients. There are in fact eight different fruit juices contained in this bottle. With all of that fruit in here why does it only taste like a lightly flavored orange juice? It tastes like really good orange juice, and I enjoy it, but I expected a bit of variety in the world of flavor it contains. The oranges have gentrified this juice. It moved into the neighborhoods where all of these other fruits were living and took it over as if it were it's own. Shame on you oranges…€¦shame.

On the other hand it does have 1500% of the daily value of vitamin C. That will kill the sickness in you. For some reason Odwalla added evaporated can juice to this as well. I don't know why, and I don't approve. It's unnecessary and unwanted in my world. Get rid of it. It's not helping to keep people healthy. Isn't that the point of juices like this?

I don't often think about quitting Thirsty Dudes. It's fun and it's a hobby. Sure, I would like it to explode to the point where the hardest thing I have to think about is which Lamborghini Countach I am going to go to Jay's to get tacos, but that's in the future. The only thing that makes me want to not do Thirsty Dudes anymore is really good drinks. When we drink something stellar, we often never get to drink it again because of where it came from or the fact that at any given time, we all have at least twenty other drinks in queue that cannot be ignored. I have broken that streak a little bit by buying cases of really good drinks but it takes me forever to drink them because, as previously mentioned, there isn't enough time in the day.

This drink made me think about it for a second, though. It's really good. It's rightfully bitter, like a blood orange should be. It does the fruit justice. Just a little bit of sugar to cut it and make it so you keep coming back. Blood oranges everywhere should consider this the apex of compliments to be in this drink. You might be saying that they're just fruits but come on, if you were a lemon, would you rather be in a lemon Brisk or a San Pellegrino Limonata? It makes a difference. Don't think that it doesn't.