Jason Draper - 2709 Reviews

In Eastern Pennsylvania there is a small, but growing, subculture. They call themselves "Hillbilos." Their entire culture is based around two things; Music that is played on jugs, washbasins and saws that is rapped over and treating every member of the subculture as family. At the center of this group is the band the "Lunatic Miners Unit" or LMU for short. It is not uncommon for followers of this band, and lifestyle to paint their face with dirt and wear over-sized dirty overalls.

For some reason Hillbilos are obsessed with Day's soda. It's a staple of their diet, and for some followers it seems to be the only thing they ingest other than filth. They spray it all over each other at their hoedowns, and it's basically their only means of washing themselves. It's a strange site to behold and their culture seems to be spreading like wildfire throughout the northeast. Soon they will have infected the entire United States.

Yup, this is basically PA's version of Faygo. It's a fairly generic soda that comes in a whole slew of different flavors. It's pop in the carbonated sugar water sense. In this variety the vanilla aspect is fairly similar, and you don't really notice it until you think about what the straight up cherry flavored Day's soda would taste like. It unfortunately suffers from tasting vaguely like cough syrup. The soda companies of the world should really put together a lawsuit against the cough medicine companies. They have certainly ruined a perfectly good flavor for everyone. I really wanted this to be better than it was because the label is incredible looking. As it stands it's pretty average. I guess you shouldn't expect more for $.75 for a 24oz bottle.

"...and then we harvest our patented green tea apples."

Wait, what? Can you repeat that? I have to admit I wasn't really paying attention to your three-hour dissertation of your apple crop. I love apples, there's no disputing that, but I don't think I have the patience to listen to anyone talk about any food for that long. I mean even if I could ask Jesus anything and he would answer truthfully, I still don't think I would do it if I had to listen to him talk about wine or fish for three hours. It's just not worth the boredom. Sorry, but you were saying something about "tea apples?"

"Why yes, since you're a jerk and didn't listen to me, I will give you a brief summary of it. We grow our apple trees in a semi hydroponic environment. Every three days we replace the water they grow in for green tea. The result is a very plump, juicy apple that has a green tea flavor to it. You see the apple soaks up the essence of the...."

That's enough, friend. I understand what you're saying and I have to say that it's pretty ingenious. It's just too bad that the apples cost $10 each. No one is going to buy those. What's going to happen when no one buys them and you're left with bushels of semi rotten fruit?

"Actually that is a problem that we have already experienced. We decided the best course of action was to juice those tea apples and bottle it. You can buy bottles of it in the gift shop. They are only $2 each."

Well that's nice. I would definitely pay that. Let me go grab one. Wow this is good. It tastes exactly like what you described. You guys definitely added some sugar though. Wait a minute this says it was made in the Philippines. Last time I check we were in Akron, NY! Also it doesn't say anything about actual apples in the ingredients list. You're a liar!

"Yeah, well you're a jerk for not listening to me. Do you think it would actually be possible to make tea apples? I was just making stuff up to see how long it would take you to actually pay attention. This isn't even an apple orchard. It's a pumpkin patch. You're a jerk and idiot!"

Several people told me that they have never seen me as excited as when I found this drink in a corner store in New Brunswick, NJ. I screamed and giggled like a small child. I'm pretty sure I also was jumping up and down. Let it be known that I don't smoke pot ever, but I think the idea of this is completely ridiculous and hysterical and just thinking about how many people out there probably think that drinking this will get you high is almost too much for me to handle. On top of that the beverages logo is a pot leaf frozen in an ice cube. It's pure gold.

I strangely don't mind the flavor of this either. The way the flavor washed over your mouth is like watching a good DJ making a perfect transition between songs. It starts off tasting like a normal lemon iced tea. The lemon is actually pretty strong. Then as the lemon is slowly fading out the faders on the hemp flavor are moving up. There is a brief moment when they are in perfect balance, but before you can acknowledge it the hemp gets louder, while the lemon just fades away. There's really no other way to describe the hemp flavor other than it tastes the way a bag of weed smells. We've all got stoner friends who usually have weed on them, and we all know exactly what that dried plant smells like before it's smoked. That smell is the flavor. A friend who enjoys getting "lifted" says it tastes like stems and seeds. Ridiculous. I can't believe I don't hate the way this tastes, but I find it interesting.

I don't mean this as an afterthought, but I figured I should actually talk about the way the drink tastes first, but check out the packaging of this drink. It's way cool. It's a cardboard can. It's pretty much a drink in a Push Up Pop container. I absolutely love it, and I wish more drinks came in this format.

For the vision of a low calorie drink Cherry Republic has chosen to put a drawing of an orchard of cherry trees picked bear. I really don't get it. The regular version of it has a bear reaching for a tree branch in full bloom. I think they may be hinting that drinking diet soda that has artificial sweeteners is similar to the dead cold winter.

I am not a fan of saccharine or aspartame at all, but I have to hand it to Cherry Republic, you can sure taste a quality soda underneath that fake sweetness. There is a delicious cherry cream soda that is being suppressed by an army of little grains of gross sweetener. You can actually taste the real cherry juice in here, which is something that doesn't normally happen (if ever) with a diet soda. I can only imagine that if you were used to drinking diet pop that this would be a holy grail of sorts.

On a side note, these come in reusable bottles. Not just recyclable, but reusable. If you return it to its point of origin they will wash it out and refill it for future use. Now that is something I can totally get behind.

With Xmas rapidly approaching little Bobby grew more nervous by the second. While other kids his age were ecstatic about all the presents that were about to be gifted upon them, Bobby suffered from a deep-set fear of his family dinner on the 25th of December. It wasn't that his family was crazy (they were), or that they were prone to squabble over the most trivial of things (they would). His nausea stemmed from the fact that he knew that he would not be able to leave the table until he finished all of his cranberry sauce: the quivering gelatinous mound of bitterly sweet garbage that passed as food only on holidays. Last year he sat at the table until 2:30 on the morning before he was able to get it all down. Ugh. In order to better acclimate himself with the taste of this garbage he had begun drinking a class of cranberry juice every day. Each 24-hour period would result in him sneaking a tiny glass from his mom's stash and forcing it down his throat. After a couple of days he was actually okay with it. It had a weird taste but once he got used to it, he even liked it a little. One would think that he would be ready for the big day, but he knew in his heart of hearts that a glass of Ocean Spray was in reality no comparison to the maroon mound that would be set before him.

His aunt was visiting a couple of days before the holiday to help his mom set everything up. She was the cool aunt. You know the kind that doesn't have any kids of her own. They listen to cool music, maybe have a piercing or two. That was aunt Jeanie. She could sense something was up with Bobby, so she cornered him and asked what was up. He told her his fear, and she said not to worry and that they were going for a little adventure. They jumped in her crappy car covered in stickers of bands that no one who wasn't a teenager during the 90's even remembered and drove to Whole Foods. She didn't say a word, and only bought a single bottle of soda. She poured it into an old Taco Bell cup and handed it to Bobby and told him to drink up. He loved it! It was amazing! It was sweet, fruity and nicely carbonated. After his praise slowed down, Aunt Jeanie showed him the bottle. It was Kristall Cranberry soda. She then told him to take another sip and think of the cranberry sauce they were going to be eating in a few days time. Didn't it taste exactly the same, except with some bubbles? As much as he wanted to deny this claim Bobby looked up to his aunt too much to lie to her. She had him this did taste like cranberry sauce, but how was this good and the sauce like a "festering bowl of dog snot?" She told him to just close his eyes and think of this pop when he was eating his dinner. That's just what he did, and you know what? It was still completely disgusting. Bobby realized the problem with cranberry sauce wasn't the flavor. It was that godforsaken texture. He managed to scarf it down by 10PM that night, but he really couldn't wait until he was old enough to prepare his own plate of food on Xmas so he could skip it altogether.

Ronald Washington Knudsen was a soda fiend, or so the tale goes. The boy drank soda until his teeth began to rot. They literally fell right out of his head. Just turned black, full of holes and plop there they are sitting delicately on his tongue (just typing that makes me want to throw up). With all of his natural teeth rotted away the dentist/barber of the times gave him some dentures. They were made of wood though and if Ronald drank anything too sugary they would simply begin to dissolve. As a result he started carbonating some straight up fruit juice so that he could still drink bubbly beverages. He had some up and some downs with his experiments. One thing that cannot be disputed is that he struck gold with his sparkling apple cider. He took a wholesome down home Western New York style cider and simply added carbonation. It was a little strong and he feared for his wooden teeth so he added just a touch of water to even it out. The result was perfection in liquid form. Folks around his area were known to drink whole bottles at a time, even though he claimed each bottle was three servings. There were happy taste buds, happy stomachs, happy drinkers and most importantly happy teeth. It was a Christmas miracle.

This root beer has one of my favorite labels ever. It's simple and classic looking. I would expect it to be the design on a wine bottle, and as we all know wine labels are generally the coolest looking of all drinks (even though they smell like literal death). That little guy is so excited to crack open his root beer. Perhaps there was an amendment to the constitution or some such thing and they are have a little celebratory party. Sure they have plenty of alcohol, but Chowning has had this special bottle of root beer put away, and he's been dying to bust it out. Seriously imagine how strong a root beer would have to be back then, especially one that is stopped with a cork (I'm sure all root beer was cork stopped back then).

The label also talks about boiling down roots and other ingredients to make a quality root beer. Mike and I tried making root beer like that once. We boiled it all down and it tasted pretty fantastic. Something went wrong in the carbonation though and an army of yeast soldiers invaded my mouth and I realized our wonderful brew was ruined. I'm guessing Old Dominion didn't really boil this down, as two of the ingredients are "root beer extract #214" and "root beer extract #79-400." I don't know what those numbers mean, but I'd love to find out. There is yucca, and vanilla in here though as well as honey for a sweetener (something that will always get a thumbs up from me). The blend tastes somewhere in the middle of a decent "root beer syrup" and a quality brewed from scratch soda. The first couple of sips were a bit disappointing, but the closer I got to the bottom of the bottle the stronger it became. I guess there was some settling of the ingredients.

While this may not 100% be an old boiled/brewed root beer from colonial times, it still beats most other brands that are commonly found. I'm sure everyone at the party enjoyed it quite a lot, while Chowning silently sulked, for he knew the greatness that it came so close to being.

This is the FUBU of the beverage world. You could say that this is "for us, by us" but only if you were an athlete. Unless the great congregation of sports aficionados accepts air hockey as a true sport, this drink was not made for me. I don't care I'm going to drink it anyways. What are they going to do, send the sports police after me?

This is one of the best sports drinks I've ever had. It's all-natural and it shows in the flavor. I tend to enjoy sports drinks, but I believe this may be the first one that I've ever tasted that actually has real fruit juice in it. They claim it's for color, but I've never had another drink taste so much like grapes (slightly watered down mind you) that wasn't actual grape juice. The flavor is strong, but only to a point. It still distinctly tastes like a sports drink, but in a fruitier way.

I really hope this catches on and they get a better distribution deal. I would love to be able to pick these up at gas stations instead of their competitors.

It's simple math folks. Triple XXX = "XXX XXX XXX." It's like kids who first get into the straight edge culture and over compensate with a million X's everywhere. My friends and I were dumb like that when we were younger. I understand it. I'm also older now and I don't feel a need to put a single X on anything let alone a couple dozen. Even though that is true I have to admit that the triple X on this bottle made the memory of 16 year old me a little giddy. When I used to go to parties everyone would be drinking beer, and I'd be drinking root beer. Even though I'm 99.9999% sure this company has no ties to any subculture (It was originally made by a family owned restaurant) I'd like to pretend that it's embracing straight edge. It also got me excited that the bottle claims it "Tastes like root beer used to taste."

The label leaves much to be desired, so even though I liked the idea of this root beer my hopes were pretty low. If this bottle were a CD it looks like it would go straight to the "cut out bin." My mom was right. Looks can be deceiving. This is a pretty darn good root beer. It has an IBC-esque flavor, but darker and bolder. I think it falls somewhere between lower level fancy root beer and some real deal cowboy brew. It's got a somewhat decent bite and a nice vanilla aftertaste, which is a nice pleasant surprise. Now excuse me. I need to find my extras thick Sharpie, so I can draw some huge X's on my hand and dance around my room like an idiot to some terrible bands from the 90's.

New Review:
Since we have given such good marks to all of their other products, Cintron sent us another bottle of this and asked us if we'd try again. I had no problem with it, especially since Derek said he actually liked this one. The company sent it and it's been sitting on my shelf for a month or two.

I finally got around to trying it today, and I don't know what my problem was before. Sure it's not the greatest tasting thing in the world, but neither are any energy shots. Maybe I got a bad one before, who knows. All I can say now is that it tastes like diet cranberry juice concentrate with energy drink junk in it. I wouldn't drink huge glasses of it, but you're not meant to. It tastes more like diet cranberries than it does energy garbage, and that is all you can really ask for. I'm bumping you from a 1 to a 3 Cranberry Splash. I hope you're happy with your new home.


Old Review:
Cintron knows how to make a tasty energy drink. They have even managed to make some quality energy shots, which are by definition disgusting. Unfortunately with this offering they have fallen short. The bitterness of the cranberry flavor does not help the already gross energy shot flavor. Instead of masking the grossness, it possibly makes it worse. The sucralose used to sweeten it makes it taste like diet toxic waste. I'm sorry Cintron. I really wish we could have given you all top marks, but this is probably the worst energy shot I've ever tasted. So dear readers you should just pick up their other flavors. They are a company that deserves to be able to shine.

Since the 1890's the Van Helsing family has hunted the ever-elusive vampire Vlad the Impaler. He was the most feared man in the eastern block until it came out that he was not a man at all. When people realized his lack of humanity they began referring to him only as Dracula the lord of the undead.

It is not the 21st century and Ludwig Van Helsing (his mother was a fan of classical music) has finally tracked down Dracula to a remote town in Upstate New York. It is now his turn to go face to face with the ruler of the undead just as each of his male ancestors have in the past (In Bram Stoker's novel it claims that Abraham Van Helsing slayed the dark one, but that is nothing but a conspiracy to cover up the truth to keep the towns people calm. It was typical of politicians of the time.). It mid June and it's a nice warm day. The sun is shining and Ludwig takes that as a good sign. He parks his rental car at the front gate and walks up to the door of the mansion. He rings the bell, but no one answers. It's probably for the best, anyways his Intel informed him that there is a cave around back and that is where Dracula slumbers during the daylight hours. Ludwig digs around the piles of Burger King and Arby's wrappers in his back seat and produces a crossbow. He thinks it's kind of stupid, but the retro look of it is kinda bitchin'. He walks around the yard, waving to the neighbor next door who's mowing his lawn, and finds himself at the entrance of the cave. Ludwig is pretty much resigned to the fact that this is where he dies. I mean every male of his family has met the reaper under similar circumstances, but whatever this planet is going down the turlet anyways. If The Impaler doesn't get him, he'll probably end up with cancer or AIDS in the next year anyways. With that thought he stepped into the darkness.

About 100 feet inside the mouth of the cave Ludwig came upon a large wooden door. It looked as if he would never be able to open it himself, but with one small shove it flew open. You have to hand it to the prince of darkness; he sure doesn't let his property fall into disrepair. Inside the room was a smaller room that was built out of black steel, with what appeared to be elevator doors on it. Ludwig pushed the button and the doors slid open exposing what appeared to be the world's most comfortable bed. Ludwig momentarily forgot his charge and just lost himself thinking about taking a little nap. In the middle of the bed was Lord Dracula with a nice lacy sleep mask on, Ludwig slowly crept towards the bed, careful not to make a sound. Just as he was about a foot away he stepped on a remote control and Miley Cirus' "Party in the USA" started blaring from the stereo system. Oddly enough Dracula just rolled over. I guess a couple of hundred year of being undead really makes you a sound sleeper. Ludwig shrugged, pointed his crossbow and put and arrow right through the vampire's heart. Dracula screamed, exorbitant amounts of blood shot out of his chest and then he and all his fluids burned up, like he never existed. "Huh." was all Ludwig could say. It was way easier than he ever would have imagined.

His whole life had been built around stalking and then being killed by Dracula, and now that it was over and he was still alive he was completely unprepared. So he ended up moving into Dracula's house. There wasn't much inside except cases of empty bottles marked "Dracula's Blood." He didn't want to put them to the curb in the recycling bins for fear that the local homeless would then constantly rummage through his trash looking for more returnables. Instead he took up the hobby of making soda pop, and used the bottles to hold his wares. What else was he going to do, get a job? I think not. Since the bottles said "Dracula's Blood" already he decided to make a strawberry soda. It didn't turn out as well as he would have hoped. Here he was with all these rad looking bottles, with a sup par soda to fill them. He guessed it kind of tasted like strawberries, but it was more of a generic soda flavor with a generic berry undertone to it. The closer you got to the bottom the stronger the flavor became, but what good is it to have a few sips be tasty when over half the bottle be extremely disappointing. The town folks all laughed at him. Sure he had killed the father of the undead, but he still couldn't make a high quality soda. They didn't hesitate to remind him that you're only as good as your last achievement. Man he should have just given up after committing monster homicide.

There are many things in my life that I could do without. I could do without ever hearing the Robert Palmer cover of T-Rex ever again. I could do without taking a bite of the sandwich I made in the dark only to discover from taste that the roll is moldy. I could also do without having to pay rent and bills (I got out of it for over a year and I liked the way that freedom tasted). One thing that I am slowly learning that I cannot do without is sugar in my soda. I know it's terrible for you in pretty much every way, but it just tastes so much better to me. I've tried going the diet route or the unsweetened route and they just are not for me. If it's something you can stomach and actually enjoy more power to you. I wish I was in your shoes, but unfortunately I'm not.

Sans is not a soda that is marketed towards people like me, but I will say it is better than most diet pops. I would choose stevia over aspartame any day. It has a true orange scent to it, which is more than most regular pops give you. At first it's not so bad. A couple of sips and I thought that I would actually enjoy this whole can. It tastes somewhere between a traditional orange soda and something like Orangina. Unfortunately, the further in you get the more of the sweetener you taste. The orange flavor lessens and it tastes more like the coolness of stevia.

I didn't enjoy this beverage very much, but it is also the best diet orange soda I've ever had, so given that it has a handicap I'll give it a better rating. If you're into diet definitely give Sans a try.

This should be something I love. Over the past year or so I've fallen in love with low sugar "dry" sodas. They provide the bubbles and the flavors that I need without being anything more than liquefied sweetener. The thing is I think that a very small amount of sugar may be needed when drinks are carbonated. I still don't understand it after 32 years on this planet; if you drink a glass of water it's cool refreshing and tasty (in a tasteless kind of way), but if you take that same water and carbonate it the flavor changes. It acquires this taste that is borderline bitter. Is it the CO2 that I taste? I can only assume it is, and it can ruin drinks for me. If that added taste wasn't there this drink would be perfect. It has a light pear taste and there is a nice mellow ginger aftertaste. This is the kind of drink that you could enjoy after a nice meal. It's just too bad that I can't get over the "seltzer water" taste it has. Seriously, if this were uncarbonated I would probably be raving about it. Dear taste buds, please start liking the taste of unsweetened carbonated water. There is a world of drinks out there that are way better for us that we are just not enjoying because of it.

When I read the review that Liz Prince wrote for us for Big Red I was kind of shocked. I was almost positive that I had tried this soda before and that I really liked it. I remembered it tasting like Crush's red cream soda. After the review came out the company sent us a couple of bottles of their throwback version that is made with cane sugar. It sat in my cupboard for a while, but I decided to finally drink it tonight. After a single sip I knew I was mistaken and that I had never drank this before. There is no way that I would forget that weird bubble gum/7Up flavor. I certainly am not a fan. I don't normally like bubble gum flavored sodas to begin with, but this was worse than most. It has a very sudden gum flavor that quickly fades away into a lemon lime type of flavor that fades into something that I can only compare to when the ratio of syrup to soda water is off in a fountain machine. All of that plus it's way more sugary than your average soda pop. On top of that it randomly has caffeine in it. I didn't realize that until I forced myself to drink half the bottle. I had already decided I wasn't going to finish it, due to the taste, but that's set in stone now because of the caffeine. It's a little late and I'm a man who likes to actually sleep well in the winter.

I agree with Mrs. Prince; this stuff is garbage. Texas you have done us wrong. Why don't you just stick to making iced tea? You do an outstanding job with that. Leave the soda making to the northerners.

I'd like to think that when Talking Rain was trying to get an advertising campaign together for this line of drinks someone in the board meeting spoke up about it being the obvious choice to have Chuck Berry as a spokesperson. I'd like to think that the idea (along with a sampler of drinks) even made it to Mr. Berry's desk. He sat back in his chair and thought to himself "Well, why not?" He was getting up their in years and wasn't able to perform nearly as much as he used to. Also, the contracts he signed early in his youth didn't really pan out for him as well as they should have. Why not take on one last job? It would be easy. They could just play his classic songs "Do the Twist" and "Twist Again." At the end he could be standing there with a guitar play a little lick and then say some tagline. It would be easy and help provide a little extra for his family when he inevitably shuffled off this mortal coil. He was just about to respond to the offer when he cracked open a bottle of the mango acai flavored water. He took a sip and it wasn't as good as he would have hoped, but it was good enough to get his endorsement. He continued to write his response, taking sips every so often. He's an old timer and never really got he hang of computers so typing took him awhile. With each sip the drink tasted worse. Even though everything in the drink is organic, it tasted off. It almost was like a more flavorful cleaner. It doesn't really make any sense. It only slightly tasted like mango and it didn't really taste like agave. Maybe it's what the watered down acai was to blame. Chuck hesitated in his typing, took one more sip and decided they shouldn't have added a sweetener at all. If it were just water with mango and acai nectar mixed in it would have been more palatable. He closed his browser and turned off the computer. The beverage was sub par and he was the legendary Chuck Berry. Why should he give them a courtesy response?

If we learned one thing here it's that Check Berry can be kind of a jerk about returning emails. A simple "No Thank You" would have been fine and courteous. Looks like the fame has gone to his head.

An aptly named beverage. I feel like I've had this tea before. In fact I'm sure of it. Oh wait no, it's just because it tastes like Lipton Brisk. It has that sort of tea flavor that is not actually from brewed tea and is sweetened with HFCS. I don't hate it. I definitely prefer brewed teas, but I wouldn't turn this down if it were offered to me. Sometimes generic tasting stuff has its place.

Oh a side note I once read that deja vu is caused when your brain misfires and stores a new memory in the area of your brain that past memories are normally stored. I found that very interesting as it happens to me all the darn time.

With a label like this one would think that this soda would be incredible. It looks so classic and classy. One would be slightly wrong. It's not incredible. It's merely average.
It tastes like an everyday store brand ginger ale, but with a nice aftertaste burn. The thing is that I don't believe the burn is actually from ginger, as it's not listed on the ingredients. I believe it's actually the sodium benzoate that causes that reaction. It feels different than a ginger burn, and it's not as strong. If I had never had a ginger beer before I would probably be pretty stoked on this, but since I've had a lot of the good stuff this just doesn't cut it.

Let's take a moment and get serious here. What could be so important that I would interrupt the normal flow of Thirsty Dudes? The answer is that absolute incredible force of nature that the movie Purple Rain is. Prince is a great musician. He's one of the greatest guitarists of our time, and unlike most people with that skill, he knows how to show off on the guitar as well as write some of the best pop songs that have ever graced the ears of humans. Sure he may be completely insane, but I can forgive him that for the album upon album of hits he has supplied us.

The folks at Sambazon understand this. They love purple rain. They even have gone so far as to pull the Lake Minnetonka prank a couple of times. Classic. The thing is that they not only love prince, they also have a soft spot for his adversaries in the film; The Time. Did you know that Prince wrote all of the time songs? True fact. His personal career was moving in a different direction, but he still wanted to write fun party songs, so he got The Time to play and record them. Among those songs was their hit "Jungle Love". To honor The Time, and Prince by proxy, they created an energy drink to keep you up all night in the clubs on Minneapolis, like the historic First Ave that is featured in the film (I played in the small room once and I kind of freaked out that Prince owned the building). The most important thing about Morris Day and The Time is that they have passion for not only their music, but also their sweet dance moves and awesome suits. Sambazon took that into consideration and created an energy drink that has both their classic acai and passionfruit juice in it. I like it more than their original variety. It has a fruitier taste, and it's all harsh acai juice. Also, how can I not support something as awesome as The Time?

Baron Von Ginseng rides again! He has yet again narrowly escaped the Allied Forces to spread his dirt flavored health benefits another day. The Allies had him cornered in a soda complex somewhere in the south of Poland. They thought there was no escape for him, but when they searched the grounds he was nowhere to be found. The only vehicle that left was a truck full of cola. They searched the truck and decided that the Baron was not on board so they let it make its delivery. With him not being on the grounds anymore it is believed that he must have fused himself with the cola. A true trickster indeed. The Forces would like to make a statement to warn civilians that Baron Von Ginseng is heavily armed and should be considered dangerous. One would believe that you would notice him in your cola on first sip. One might ask "How would I not notice the flavor of a potted plant in my refreshing soda?" The truth is that he is a master of disguise and our top scientists believe that the cola may neutralize his naturally disgusting taste. It would still taste slightly earthy, but the cola flavor would reign supreme (to the chagrin of the Baron). Be aware that what you may be ingesting is a refreshing naturally earthy flavored cola that has the benefits of ginseng. It's a strange world out there and you should always be on the lookout.

Marty wasn't like the other kids. He just could not get down with creamsicles. It just reminded him of when he was but a toddler and he tried to make an ice cream float with orange juice instead of soda. Just thinking about how the mixture curdled makes him want to vom all over the place. Ever since then he has stayed clear of those treats in ice cream and soda form.

The strange thing is that little Marty loves this Vio drink. You might say "but Marty that is the exact same thing as a creamsicle except the orange is switched out for lemon lime." You would be correct, but what you're forgetting is that Marty didn't dump cream into a cup filled with straight lemon and lime juice. When he drinks this, he just thinks about it being 7Up or Sprite that had ice cream added to it, and then it melted. No curdling involved. He's a happy camper. I'm a happy camper. You're a happy camper. Did I mention that we're at summer camp, sitting around a campfire sipping on these little treats? Well maybe I'm not a happy camper. While I love the way these taste, they do get to be a bit much to drink a whole 8oz bottle.