Mike Literman - 1759 Reviews

I'm straight edge. I have been for well over ten years. I went to a health food store looking for some interesting drinks when I came across this. I though that a kefir and black pepper drink would be interesting so I bought it. I opened it up, didn't waste time smelling it, and took a nice sip. Gross. I took another sip because I didn't learn my lesson the first time. Ugh. Gross. This drink tastes like beer. It could not taste more like beer. It tastes so much like beer that I feel sick because I feel like I drank beer and broke edge. I have dreams about drinking where I feel this unfixable guilt like I lost a large portion of my life and my morals and I can never get them back. Now this is real life and I want to make myself throw up. I hate Caveman Foods for doing this to me. Why couldn't this just be black peppercorn flavored yogurt like I wanted it to be? Even my girlfriend who drinks beer said that it tasted just like Miller High Life.

Unlike the last Talking Rain water, this one is actually pretty true to it's described flavor. I would confirm that this is, in fact, reminiscent of a strawberry. I don't know if a regular, run-of-the-mill strawberry tastes any different than a wild strawberry, but I know what "strawberry" tastes like and this is it.

If I might make on suggestion to you, the drinker, keep this cold. It doesn't really keep its "niceness" at room temperature and is less than refreshing because it has a bit of a viscosity to it. I blame it on the agave nectar. Not a bad blame as much as a warning.

It's good though. I would cross the pomegranate blueberry off the "list of things to get" list and just stick with this one.

Jumping on the Vitamin Water wagon is Wegmans. It doesn't matter though because they've got some different flavors. This lemonade flavor is light a light lemonade and some other taste. If you want lemonade I wouldn't get this but if you want something like Vitamin Water by new and different, look no further.

Remember when you were 9 and you used to play hockey in the driveway with all your friends? Man, that was awesome. You know what was better? When your friend's mom brought out freezie-pops and you took a break and ate a couple of them. Everyone wanted red and pink, some people wanted purple and orange, some were indifferent to blue and no one wanted green. Why? It was because they used to make you cough. Why? I don't know. Additives? I don't know.

This tastes like it, without the coughing, but with the feeling of "I guess if this is the only one left I'll have it." It smells like cleaning solution and tastes like some sort of dental numbing medicine as if the dentist would give this to you to numb your mouth when you were getting your teeth pulled out or cavities from drinking too much pop. See you soon, Doc.

What accompanies Boyz 'N The Hood more than pizza and Very Cherry Jelly Belly pop? Ummm, nothing? Yep-ahhh. Good ol' Larry Fishburn as the lovable Furious Styles accompanying me on a voyage through childhood in South Central LA while I accompany him with some cherry flavored pop. What a team? I can picture it now...Ice Cube, Cuba, and I sitting around the domino table with some bones and a cold 4 pack (they don't come in 6 packs) of Jelly Belly Very Cherry pop. Throwing bones. Dominoes!

Initially, the taste was sweet and cherry-esque, but it quickly and powerfully, much like the power of a strong black woman like Angela Basset, tasted just like cherry Jelly Belly candies. You know how I usually get mad when something tastes like candy, but with Jelly Belly pop, I might be upset if it didn't.

This was pretty good and the perfect accoutrement to classic cinema and garbage pizza.

Ugh. You know what? Here's what you can do...

Go to the store and buy some chocolate pudding and a bottle of pop. Then, go over to your local shopping mall, go into the bathroom, take out your pudding cup and make a mess on the floor with it. Make an anonymous call to the mall service desk letting them know that the bathroom is in disrepair and they should clean it immediately. Wait in the fake shrubs and bushes for the cleaning staff to arrive and drink your pop. You'll need the bottle. When they arrive and go into the bathroom, take a slew of their cleaning supplies and pour them into the now empty pop bottle. Make sure to get things like lemon Pledge and any sort of citrus scented disinfectant. Carbonate it with magic or something. Go to the food court, get some low quality Chinese food and prepare to wash it down with your new concoction.

Honestly, this stuff from smell to taste was bathroom-esque. It was bitter, but I don't mind bitter. It was the smell of the stuff that was a turn off from the very beginning. The taste just sealed the deal. It might be a mixer, but if it is, label it as so because it was sold as a cocktail soda and I drank it as such.

Hey friend, want to take a quiz? Yeah? Great. Question; What flavor is 7-Up? Lemon and lime? Alright. What flavor is Sprite? Lemon and lime? Ok. Well what flavor is Sierra Mist? Lemon and lime with maybe some other citrus? Alright? Drink this Tommy's Naked Soda. I know it's a funny name. What do you think that it tastes like? Lemon and lime? Friend, you certainly have a limited amount of answers to my questions. If this tastes like lemon and lime, what do you think that 7-Up, Sprite, and Sierra Mist taste like? Oh, not lemon and lime all of a sudden? Strange. So what you're telling me is that Tommy's actually tastes like the advertised fruit and the others don't really taste like anything but a cacophony of citrus? Yes? Alright. Thanks for taking my quiz. Oh, what? You want to keep the bottle of Tommy's? You can't keep it. You can have another sip, but I kind of wanted it. You think you deserve it because I made you take a stupid quiz. Alright, I'll take one more sip and give it to....[tires squealing]

Right off the bat, I can tell you that this is not Sweet Rose part deux. This is actually drinkable. No, I didn't/couldn't finish the whole thing, but it was actually drinkable. The texture/viscosity/consistency is something to get used to. Think of this:

Go to your local grocery store. While your mom is buying girl stuff and boring vegetables, you take a quarter you found in between the seats of your family's Pontiac 6000 where you spent countless road trips sitting by yourself in "the way-back" watching other families watch you watch them watch you watch them. You check out the vending machines...plastic guns? No. Homies? Funny, and clearly racist, but no. Slime in an egg? Yep-ahh. You put your quarter with all it's french fry grease and dog hair into the slot, turn the crank, and down comes your clear egg with a creamy, pastel, yellow slime. All of a sudden, two punk kids come up to you and say, "Hey, kid. Nice slime. Eat it!" and you, who are no match for two kids wearing leather jackets with the sleeves cut off, open your mouth hole and slurp it down. Just as your finished with the last glob, you mom comes out with some stupid carrots and yells at those kids to go home.

That's what the texture was like, but the taste wasn't too bad. It tastes lightly of mango. Not bad. I won't have it again since each small bottle is 280 calories and it wasn't that much to come back to, but it wasn't bad.

What better way to ring in another year with a nice, tall glass of refreshing sparkling grape juice? Kids love it because they feel like their parents even though their parents drink about 6 nice, tall glasses of the real stuff when the kids get scorned when they reach for their second glasses. What goes for more in hospitals? Kidneys or teeth? I'm no doctor, but I am a scientist and I will say that this was not the best drink I've ever had. Do I need to be a scientist to say that? No, but you trust my opinion more.

It was fruity, yes, and it might have been grape-y but it wasn't all there. I was really hoping for a sequel to the Apple Cider so I went to the store and bought everything different type they had. I was wrong. Oops. It just wasn't all there for me. Sure, some people would drink it and not care or tell the difference, but I do this for a living (not really) and you people deserve the truth. The truth? You can do better. Happy New Year. You can do better.

Man. This was delightful. It was perfect for the time of day, mood, and just about everything in between and around. It was awesome, simply awesome. It started out with an orange juice and then quickly was followed up by a lemon passion fruit. Not passionfruit lemonade, but a lemon flavored passion fruit. It was soft, sweet, and just about everything I want in a drink.

I think an added bonus was that there was tons of stuff in it. When I got the drink, I didn't look at it, but when I picked it up to drink today, I noticed tons of pulp and stuff at the bottom and that excited me. I love a pulpy juice. When you give it a vigorous shake and then quickly drink some, you get a nice mix of juice and fruit pieces. I loved it. I want more. Zack probably wants more since we split it.

I haven't eaten all day. It's quarter after twelve and I've been up for a good three hours. I would have slept in longer but between my dogs and my girlfriend calling me on my day off, I can't. I decided to take advantage of the day by:

• Cleaning up the backyard which was previously covered by snowy poop


• Strip some paint off the doors, which led to me taking the battery out of the smoke alarm and opening the doors to ventilate some smoke and fumes.


• Sit on the computer for an hour and wait for my company to come to a meeting which never started

All of this basically nothing led me to get a bit hungry. Since I didn't feel like making something to eat and there really isn't anything in the house to eat, I decided that today would be the day that I would test out a dietary supplement. Lucky for me, it was a delectable chocolaty treat.

I don't really like smoothies too much. All fruit ones are good, but once you start mixing things like carrots, beets, potatoes, and the like, it gets to be a little too much. When I saw that Bolthouse made a chocolate protein shake, I was intrigued and promptly bought it. Now it's been sitting in my fridge for about a month and I see it every time I open the door. I will say that this is a wonderful drink. It's super rich and smooth and doesn't at all taste like it has a ton of protein, vitamins, and minerals, but it's actually not that bad for you. Like many other Bolthouse drinks, there isn't additional sugar, just apple juice used as a sweetener, which is smart. It's really chocolaty and you could easily destroy the whole bottle and then probably feel a tad sluggish as you just ingested way too much.

Anyone who likes supplement drinks or protein shakes or someone who is on a diet and just wants to enjoy chocolate again, try this on for size.

In the first time in Thirsty Dudes history, a company challenged me. I loved it. A lady who shall remain nameless, challenged me personally to rethink my position on New Leaf based on my opinion of her company's lemonade.

To recap, I said that New Leaf lemonade is exactly what lemonade should taste like and I don't retract that one bit, even after drinking this.

So on to my review of this Purity Organic lemonade.

This is very good lemonade. It's got a great stingy bite to it and leaves you with the taste of real lemons on your lips. It's sweet, but real lemonade is sweet so that's good. It's not too sweet and actually, I can't think of anything that I would do to change it. I wouldn't say it's better, but it's so parallel with the New Leaf that I will say it's a tie and deserves the same rating.

Congratulations, Purity and you nameless lady/girl/woman. Your challenge has been accepted and you passed. You did it right. It says a lot since I've reviewed some lame lemonades on this site.

Based off the taste of this lemonade, I'm excited to try the half and half I have on a shelf at home. Come back for the review soon.

Blah blah blah I like flavored waters.

This is different, though. It's relaxing. Yes, it's a given since lavender kind of runs the table on relaxing scents/soaps/tastes. When was the last time you tasted it in nice water, though? Never? Oh, then read on and learn yourself something. This has such a strong initial scent of lavender. It is, as Jay and our friend Dan said, a bit reminiscent of Fruit Loops. That's not bad at all. You drink, and it mints out and cools you down and then, at the very end, you are left with a nice return, sequel if you will, of that lavender gentleman.

Ha. Lavender gentleman.

What a nice summer treat this would be. Currently it is 28° with a wind-chill of 13® but in this bottle it's summer time.

We all know what ginger tastes like. There's ginger ale and then there's ginger beer. This drink, like the Ale-8-One are spicy, but they are a nice middle ground between the two. You don't taste the lemongrass too much until the ginger lets go of your tongue, then you are left with the sweet taste of the lemongrass. It has just the right amount of citrus flavor.

If you ever have the opportunity, get this. It's very refreshing and they make it in a larger bottle for those who can't get enough.

Jay says to me he says, "I've got something for you." Naturally, I got excited, even thought I knew it was a drink because that's all we exchange anymore. "Anymore" like we used to give each other gifts all the time. Eh, we probably did. We're great friends. So, Jay got me something but he can't find it. We take a trip out to his car and it's not there. I was getting let down by the second. Then, with a stroke of genius, he lifted that spare tire cover and pulled out a fresh bottle of Ale-8-One. He told me he got it on tour and it had caffeine in it. It's a ginger ale but it has a bit extra to it. It doesn't contain, but feels like it should contain, capsicum in it. It has a little baby-sized bite to it. It's nice because it's not a ginger ale trying to be a ginger beer. It's just a ginger ale with some spice to it.

I have had a long weekend. Not a rough weekend, but a long one. It was hard to get out of bed and while looking through my cache of drinks I grabbed this and didn't look back. I felt I needed a little pick me up, even though I don't think that I've ever need "pick me up's."


Jay, thanks. Ale-8-One, thanks. Everyone for leaving me at work to listen to The Best Show by myself on a snowy Monday...you's guys are kind of jerks.

You've got two screaming kids. Sometimes they suck. Face it. Your "angels" aren't perfect. Honestly, they don't suck. They're still screaming and you have to solve this predicament ASAP. You open the fridge and you've got a little bit of chocolate milk. Not enough for two stupid kids, but maybe one and a half kids. Since you "can't" cut little Tommy in half you have no choice but to, gulp, water down the chocolate milk. You do it, don't look back, and give those brats something to stop their crying.

You can tell the difference because you're an adult and have been drinking chocolate milk your entire life. Those kids sucked it right up. What you tastes. Tastes like this CK chocolate soybean drink. It's not as thick as regular chocolate milk or soymilk. Maybe that soymilk and soybean drink are different even though they are made from the same animal.

Your kids are now fine and you found that watered down chocolate milk passes the kid test. It's a fiscal score for you. Good job. Not so much for CK. It was under $1 so it's not a jip. You got what you paid for.

New Leaf. Seriously, can you do wrong? The tea is amazing. It's and even 50/50 strawberry tea mix and you can taste it all. You get a nice, natural strawberry flavor with a light, white tea bitterness like it should be.

Thanks again New Leaf for doing things right.

There are a couple gems at Asian markets. There are a lot of borderline poisonous drinks there, too. I'm not going to tell you to be careful because it's actually fun to hang out with friends and drink something putrid. That's what being friends is all about.

This DemiSoda was good. It tasted like green apples. Green apples and sugar but still green apple juice. It comes in a responsible sized can and comes in different flavors. I'll get them if you promise to do the same. Deal?

I've had good luck with Fizzy Lizzy and bad luck with Fizzy Lizzy. This one, lucky for me, was good luck. I like the concept of Fizzy Lizzy drinks because they are all naturally sweetened, usually with apple juice, and it's just fruit and carbonated, filtered waters. For that reason, you get a very true taste to all drinks. I am not a huge fan of grapefruit, and that's why I didn't like the grapefruit drink they did. This cranberry drink, though, was pretty spot-on to a real cranberry. Cranberries, naturally bitter, are typically drenched in so much sugar that you can't taste the natural tinge of the fruit itself. Fizzy Lizzy wanted you to remember what a real cranberry tastes like and that's what they give you. This drink is bitter. Bittersweet? I never understood that taste. I guess it's just a concatenated way of saying "Oh, it's bitter and sweet."

I liked it and would get another one. I didn't feel like my teeth were rotting out and everyone at the table I shared it with liked it. It starts off bitter but leaves a nice sweet, fruit aftertaste.

At first sip, this drink was good. On subsequent sips, this drink was strange and then good again? Why? Initially, it was just different. Then you realized that it was a pretty accurate pineapple taste. There was something off about it, though, and then I think that I narrowed it down. Think of eating a fresh pineapple. Like, cut it yourself fresh. Now erase that thought, go to the worst market you know of and buy the oldest possible can of canned pineapple and make that into a pop.

As a drink, it's not bad. Like I said, it tastes like canned pineapple. Maybe more like a can and pineapple. Goats would love this drink. Tropical goats. It is a lightly carbonated drink and even though you got an initial taste of can, it was worth it because it's some of the best pineapple flavor I've had outside of a real pineapple.

I got this at an Indian market and the label was half Hindi (or whatever language that was) and half English.