Mike Literman - 1759 Reviews

If this is what the raw food movement is all about, I'm in. I'll stop cooking everything. I'll eat everything cold and uncooked and undercooked. Pizza? Nope. Not unless it's just a ball of cold dough with just a whole beefsteak tomato and just stalks of uncleaned oregano. That's my new pizza. My new taco is more of a taco bowl because I can't eat proper tortillas. My cereal is made with water and instead of marshmallows and chocolate is just corn or peas. My new strange, unconventional lifestyle is all worth it because I get to drink this drink.

This drink...is wonderful. It is a powerful blend of raspberries and lemongrass. That lemongrass, man. That is strong. That is a strong flavor that is wrapped in a secret, deceiving, grass looking disguise. You look at it and think, "Oh, that's grass. No big deal." Then you take a bite out of it and your hair looks like when you used to go to Spensers at the mall and touch that laser ball. The raspberry just cuts some of that powerful lemongrass and leaves you with something you think you've had before but haven't. Oh, raspberry lemonade? I've had it. You idiot. This is not wimpy lemonade. This is lemonade for adults. Adults who have scorched their mouths on pizza hundreds of times and now need something stronger to cut through the scars and your tired, grizzled old tongue.

I would love to see a wimp kid drink this and watch his face as the powerful flavor blasts his dumb taste buds out of his mouth and knocks those rubber bands from his braces across the room hitting his older sister in the cheek. She deserved it. Trust me. She's a brat.

Remember back in the day where the only half and half we had was Arizona Arnold Palmer? I seriously think that people don't realize that there are options aside from that. It's been a long time since those days and I've got to say that I don't miss that at all. There is nothing wrong with competition and since those days, there are dozens of better half and half's out there that surpass Mr. Arnold Palmer's drink. It's not a dis as much as it just a changing of the times. Better ingredients, smaller companies, easier distribution channels, and so on. Sure, Gold Peak is owned by Coke but it wasn't always and their tea has consistently been good. This intro paragraph is a wake up call to those who drink gallons of Arnold Palmer. Hey, friends. Wake up. There is more out there that was made specifically for you. Stop being lazy and complacent and try something new.

Lemonade and iced tea are a touch mix. Iced tea is a soft taste and lemonade is sharp and stands out in the crowd. This, in my opinion, is an uneven mix of the two. This leans way heavy towards lemonade. It's not bad but it almost cuts down the iced tea so much that if you didn't know better, you would think that this is a weak lemonade. I do not think that was the intention of Gold Peak. This probably came out just as it was supposed to but this is how I think about the contents of this bottle.

This was a nice surprise, as I don't remember the last time Gold Peak came out with a new product. Everything they have put out is good and if you are a half and half fan, try this out. As it stands, I still think it's better than Arizona but if you've been drinking that stuff for as long as I think you have, you've become desensitized to the fake sweetener that I can't stand.

My aunt Linda loves honey. This summer she invested with a co-op of amateur beekeepers with the end goal of getting your own honey from your own bees. She went out and bought a whole bunch of equipment and an official bee suit and this past weekend harvest over 100 pounds of honey, a liquid, which for some reason decides to be measured like a solid. Those bee people, \they deal with bees, for cripes sake. Literally flying needles coming at you from all directions. You can measure anything any way you'd like. Why do I bring this up? Simple. Honeydrop uses honey as their primary sweetener and it's a wonderful treat.

If my aunt found about this, she'd be all over it. As long as I have known her, which has been my entire life, I have never heard her mention her affinity for honey but now she's all about it. I bet she would do fairly well in a bee related column in Jeopardy. Now a delicious tea comes along sweetened by her life's nectar? She'd be all over it, as I mentioned previously. What's nice about this tea is that it's got a nice, soft peach flavor and then a honey aftertaste. It would be like eating a peach that is, somehow, injected with honey. If that was how peaches were naturally created, I'd eat them all of the darn day. Since it's not, I'll stick with drinking peach tea and using honey on peanut butter sandwiches and not eating actual, strangely textured, furry fruit.

Well if Dr. Pepper can create Ten, Pepsi can create their own beverage for men. Just for men. It's not so directly pointed towards men, but women love "diet" and they have it in their minds that “diet” is their drink. Men don't "diet." They eat less pizza and have one scoop of ice cream instead of three. Men are sensitive individuals who won't admit they have a weight problem until they start breaking chairs left and right. As soon as it happens, they head to the store to find manly, low calorie drinks. Pepsi Next is that. It's for the workingman. It's hard to work in an office full of men who love things like burgers, steak, potatoes, and the like and not put on a couple pounds. It comes with the territory. If you can change one thing, like your pop intake, you're on to something.

This is my maiden voyage into the Pepsi Next line and I believe Derek described it as something like regular Pepsi mixed with Diet Pepsi and although I can't argue with that, I will say that this new flavor line is pretty good. This cherry vanilla is right where I want it to be. Strong cherry and even stronger vanilla flavor easily mask the corn syrup, aspartame, and sucralose; all of which are in this drink which combined with real sugar, make up the most comprehensive list of sweeteners in one drink I think I have ever seen. That combination of sweeteners leaves you with a sweet, but not too sweet, 100 calorie bottle of a pretty decent flavored cola. The warmer it gets, the more the other sweeteners come out, but the first half of this bottle right out of the cooler were pretty good. If this came in a responsible eight-ounce can or something of that nature, I would love it. That is a not-so-subtle hint, Pepsi. Not everyone needs twelve plus ounces to satisfy themselves.

It's summer. According to Yo, Gabba Gabba, summer is when it's hot outside and the grass is long. The first part I couldn't agree with more but the latter? I hardly mow my lawn in the summer. Not because I'm lazy, which I tend to be, but it's because the sun is beating down on my poor lawn, turning it to veritable hay. Pomegranates are like summer gold, though. That's a bad analogy. Pomegranates are like winter hot dogs. Wait...that doesn't work either. Sometimes you want sometime but can't get until it's available and then you don't want it...I suppose I can just say that. It's not as much fun, but it's what's going to happen.

So here we have it, a bottled pomegranate. It's fizzy, unlike the original pomegranate, but it's got that bite you like which is cut by juice provided by apples, grapes, pineapples, and cranberries. All those fruits, regardless of quantity don't really detract from the flavor of the pomegranate, which is great.

No messy hands from extracting dozens of arils. No added sugar. No muss. No full. Pomegranates in the summer that aren't small or gross. Out-of-season fruit is nothing if it isn't terribly disappointing. This is your exception to the rule.

As you may or may not know, the Thirsty Dudes love tacos. You know what I ate today on a little motorcycle excursion? A chorizo burrito. Oh man. Wonderful. Best three dollar taco I have had in a long time. Now I'm home, relaxing with a drink and a movie. What drink? Something fruity and something that will help me pay attention to this movie.

Editor Dan keeps us in mind when he goes out of town doing non-stop, awesome photography. He sends us pictures of drinks asking if we have reviewed them. Wherever he went last time was good to us. This was one of the drinks he brought back. I've got to say, "red berries" is a bit vague. It's kind of like a guessing game when it doesn't actually list the actual berries in question. Strawberries, cranberries, or raspberries; who knows? All, some, more less. Who knows? Honestly, who cares? This is a good drink. I should also preface that this drink is not for everyone. Why? Erythritol. I quite like it but I know a lot of people don't. It's pretty unarguably better than aspartame, Splenda, or stuff like that. Sorry, guys. You're old news. It's not your fault. Things get outdated. You had a good run.

Sweetener aside, it's good. It's a good berry flavor. I like it. We don't have it around here in Buffalo but if I saw it somewhere else, I might be willing to buy it. It's light, too. Not like a juice. More like a flavored water.

We've covered a lot of topics here, ladies and gentlemen. Tacos, sweeteners, berries, local city drink distribution, and so on. We also covered an otherwise good drink that you could enjoy if you can find the stuff.

Scared out of my mind. Fast Twitch? Really? That's not something I want. Ever. I don't want any speed of twitching. Really? That's what the round table discussion ended up with? I would have loved to hear the bad titles of this line of drinks. One other thing before it's time to travel over the bridge to Reviewtown is that the flavor of this drink is "purple" and not grape. Oh, it tastes like grape, but it's not titled grape. Does grape have a trademark on its name? If so, that's wack.

Bridge...

This tastes like grape and is not at all as absolutely revolting as I had anticipated. With a title like Fast Twitch and with promises of "explosive strength performance" I thought this was going to be wildly sweet and have that "Oh dude. There is protein in this and now has an undesirable viscosity and texture" thing that I don't like. Turns out it just tastes like a grape Fla-vor-ice. Sorry, purple Fla-vor-ice. Lawsuit avoided.

Tommy goes to the tropics often. Ever since he saw that scene in Dumb and Dumber where the Hawaiian Tropics girls drive by in the bus, he knew that's where he wanted to visit. The "lady count" wasn't as high as he liked it but the weather and scenery was gorgeous so he doesn't complain. He travels there a few times a month and the locals have begun to recognize him and charge him a non-tourist rate on things like groceries and essentials.

Graduating from tourist to pre-local, he decided to celebrate by going to a local, non-franchise coffee shop that advertises that they harvest all their own stuff down to having a nearby coffee orchard, and roasting and brewing their own coffee beans. Tommy walked in and being the non-coffee drinker he was, he ordered a Very Berry Hibiscus juice. A couple minutes later he got an ice-cold glass with a sweet smelling nectar inside. He knew he had gone to the right place. He took one sip and loved it. It was lightly berry but still had a solid hibiscus flavor. It was advertised as sweetened with cane sugar and a Stevia sweetener.

He asked the waitress if they made it there and she leaned down and whispered in his ear that it was just a Starbucks powdered drink and that she told him because she knew he wasn't a local anymore. He lost a little bit of respect since they apparently are not all locally made items but he still went back since they didn't treat him like a filthy tourist.

As my hand touched this can at the store, an associate who appeared out of nowhere told me that she loved it. Now I buy a lot of drinks and most times I can get in and out without someone's opinion. That's not to say that I don't want it. Why would I do this if I didn't want to hear what people think about drinks? Now I've got an opinion of a drink and, come on, fruit punch? It's all the same unless it's from an exception company. Tradewinds is on the top-end of average companies. Their sweet tea is pretty good but I haven't had any of their "Tropicals" line. Now I have and can tell you that this fruit punch blows.

As I said, most fruit punch is the same. This is not and not in a good way. Reading the ingredients, it's all natural stuff except for the sucralose which you can taste even though it's way down on the list of ingredients and isn't the primary sweetener. It tastes like you mixed a bad fruit punch in with some sort of cherry juice. If you want a diet, fruity, cherry drink, I've got some left over in this can that is split with someone else because I couldn't take any more of it. You can get it from me for a limited time since I will be tossing it, unfinished, into the bin. Like that? It's very British of me to call it a "bin." I'm classier than you can imagine. Too classy to drink this swill.

"I don't like this. Do you want it?" she says to me. I don't often get proposals like this but I will always jump at the chance to drink something someone else doesn't want as long as it makes a good review. Obviously I said yes and the effect of that was over half a dozen packets of cherry pomegranate diet drink mix in my hand and a happy co-worker that doesn't have to look at them ever again. Everyone wins.

I made myself a glass of this and here's how it goes. If you fast-forward to Fall where people make candy covered apples, take their excess candy coating and roll some cherries and pomegranate arils in it and munch away on that. After you're done eating those at-one-time-healthy-snacks-now-made-terribly-unhealthy-snacks, imagine how they would be liquefied and that's about the slot that this drink fills. It's candy sweet but you can still manage to taste the pomegranate and cherry. That surprises me after thinking now of how good candy covered pomegranate is. Candy covered cherries doesn't appeal to me for some reason. If you're covering arils in the same stuff you use to make candy covered apples, you will have more candy than fruit. I guess I didn't think the logistics and dynamics of the comparison before I mentioned it. Oh well. It still stands. Enjoy your diet, everyone. Now with candy!

There are certainly apples in this can. No doubt about that. They at one time might have been great apples, too. The cream of the crop. Then science and nutrition and kids had to come into the equation and mess it all up like they always do. Have you ever had a pure apple juice that was too sweet? Nope. Mother Nature has bred apple juice to be just right all the time. Now you take a drink like this which is essentially apple juice with sugar in it, somehow manage to sell it as an energy drink when everyone knows that sugar is not really "energy" as it is a temporary shot in the arm, and market it as such. You can taste the green apples and you are excited. Then follows the first quasi-offensive, more bittering Stevia taste I've ever had and unnecessary carbonation. What was wrong with apple juice that you had to do this to it? Nestle, you should be ashamed of yourself. You ruined a good thing.

I used to eat a lot of candy when I was a kid but now I don't eat as much. I don't like candy flavored like fruits I don't like. Why would I? Why would I dislike a product made by a product that I like? That doesn't make sense. Sure, there are people who don't like pickles and love relish or people that don't like guacamole but love avocados. That's poppycock if you ask me. I can't think of anything like that for myself. Peaches are a fruit that I don't really care about in its entirety. Candy peaches, sliced peaches, whole peaches, peach juice are all in my "I'm fine with not eating that" category. I don't know why. The taste isn't too bad. It's not like I don't drink a bunch of peach stuff and rate it objectively, but I just don't really like them. Which brings me to this drink.

This drink was reviewed better by a co-worker than myself very simplistically, "It tastes like melted down peach Dum-Dums." I couldn't agree more. It tastes like candy peaches more than a real peach but even this drink is overly sugar'd. I don't hate peach tea too much because it's inherently light in flavor and sometimes just gives a nice flavor to a regular tea. This is unfinishable in my opinion. Likewise, if you can drink the whole thing, you've got to be kidding me because it's way too much. You drink it and instantly learn a lesson in sweeteners and tooth decay. I'd rather not learn a lesson through some kid pop so I will stop while I am ahead.

Here's what I like: the increase of the use of dragonfruit in drinks. Pitaya kicked it off in my book with their usage of it and now these other guys come along and start integrating it in. I can't help but think that something happened that prompted people to start using it. You know how people say that things "multiply like mice?" Maybe the dragonfruit started spreading out of control like mice trapped in a science classroom over summer vacation. One turns into two, into four, into eight, into sixteen, into thirty-two and so on. I would love a running fruit like this to take over my backyard, honestly. I might and probably am not in the correct zone, but if I was, it could be awesome until it gets out of hand and I've got to call in some big guns to take care of my fruity mess.

Lipton grabbed dragonfruit by the reins and choked the living daylights out of the jerk. This tea, mixed with the strawberry, which tastes like real strawberries and dragonfruit, which tastes like real dragonfruit is a fruit tea lovers dream come true. There is some sort of competition going on between this flavor and a honey peach, which just came out. I don't have to taste that one to know that this will win in my book. You'll probably see that review soon as I purchased both yesterday and actually look forward to proving myself one way or the other.

Oh boy. The entirety of the South is going to be upset. Celestial Seasonings, the entry-level tea company that we don't have any reason to hate, is going to get themselves into trouble with this little guy. I've said it a lot, but I'll say it again. The key to a good sweet tea is the lack of ingredients. Celestial Seasoning knows what time it is and they know tea but for some reason, they never made the jump from regular, inexpensive hot tea, to cold brew tea. Now they have and people should watch out.

This tea is wonderful. It tastes like a great, homemade sweet tea. It's just the right amount of sweet and still tastes like a real tea. It's all contained in that tiny little container, too.

I only bought one type of Keurig K-Cups prior to this and that's the dark hot chocolate. Spending $2 on a drink is alright. It's right at the cusp of where I can take it or leave it. You can't buy less than sixteen of these and it costs usually around $11, which, to us Thirsty Dudes, it astronomical because we only need one drink and sometimes that is too much. In hindsight, I'm alright with spending that much now. Not because it comes out to less than $1 per glass, but because it's good enough that I will easily drink it again and again.

I've been doing a lot of thinking about McDonald's as of late. I am thirty. When I was a kid, my parents would take us to McDonald's. It was an event. It wasn't a "my family is poor and we can only afford McDonald's" routine. We were a family of six and food gets expensive to everyone, plus, fifteen plus years ago, we didn't know what we do today about McDonald's so to take a family there for dinner wasn't frowned down upon. Sure, now I eat at McDonald's two to three times a year now that I'm a crappy adult, but McDonald's is trying. To all of the McHaters out there, they're trying. You realize that this isn't Mama Mia's Pizzeria, right? They don't have like three restaurants outside of the South Bend Indiana city line. They have over 33,000 locations worldwide and when they have to make a change, they have to roll it out to almost all those locations. When people decided that the McNuggets weren't safe for consumption and they rolled out the "100% Chicken" McNuggets, that was a huge ordeal that has to take months if not years, to deploy.

So McDonald's is trying. They've got a new, fancy coffee shop built into stores and have dabbled with some Angus beef and more quality ingredients than the stuff they've been using the past two decades. Even people that hate McDonald's have to give them credit for trying to compete while simultaneously trying to increase the quality of their food while still keeping prices low. Not an easy task. I've been thinking and reminiscing about my youth inside of McDonald's.

While reading The Impulsive Buy's awesome review of this drink, I decided I needed it. I didn't ride my bike to work so that I could drive to work and stop at McD's and get this drink. I'm happy I stopped. You know why? Well it's simple. It's because this is a very good drink. If I could extend on what the lovely and talented Marvo said, I would say, in true Thirsty Dudes fashion, that this drink tastes like the minds behind Caramello created a limited edition "coffee" version. You've got a chocolate and coffee outside and the standard, delicious caramel inside. Every once in a while you get the rather pleasurable experience of sucking up some baby sized chocolate chips in your mouth through the straw.

McDonald's. I have eaten at your locations less and less through the years but that doesn't mean that I have given up on you. You are a giant cooperation, but you're not evil. You do what you have to do when you are that big. Cuts have to happen and quality has to go down. It's natural. Your nuggets are wonderful and I still love McChicken sandwiches. You're alright in my book. Also, I doubt you're hurting so don't take what people say so hard.

Italian Fest will be next week. I have a strange thing where I don't like to eat Italian food because I feel like I've never had Italian food that is any better than what I can make at home. I know that I have just irritated every Italian that is reading this as well as anyone who is reading this with an Italian lurking over their shoulder. Italian Fest is like St. Patrick's Day where everyone is Italian for the day. Well, everyone except Sicilians since there is some...thing...going on there.

To combat Italian Fest my own, stupid way, I decided to make some Italian food myself in the comfort of my own home. I boiled some boxed penne, and put some Goya chipotle marinade in some pre-made mushroom sauce and ate it and it was fantastic. I won. I beat Italian Fest. I decided to accompany my victory meal with a cold glass of MiO lemonade. I didn't know what to expect because my ideal lemonade has a pound of pulp in it. I know the container's restrictions so I wasn't surprised that there wasn't pulp in there. A couple squirts later, the water has turned into lemonade. This lemonade tasted like little kid's lemonade that was a bit watered down. That also means that you could make better MiO lemonade by not following directions and adding "too much" mix. It's got a bit of a diet taste, but it's a diet drink so who's surprised there? Not I. Not I.

Dear Italians. You're wonderful people but can keep your gross, cheese filled desserts.

Energy drinks are a dime a dozen. There is one vat of that crud that all of the other energy drink companies suckle off of like a mama pig and her lil' piglets. They take the same stuff, add one ingredient, put it in a can with their logo on it, and sell it as their own stuff. Someone, probably a secret conglomerate company, is making a killing off of these little guys, but not Amp. They decided to take their business elsewhere. They are the rebels, the vigilantes. They do things their own way. They somehow managed to create an energy drink that doesn't taste like an energy drink. If you drank this and didn't know it was an energy drink, you would wonder why a half hour later you were bouncing off the walls.

This drink just tastes like grape pop. If you like grape pop and need a pick-me-up, this is it. It doesn't taste too syrupy regardless of the corn syrup. It just tastes like grape pop. Did I say that? It's just grape pop, in case I didn't.

There is an entire new line of these and now I'm not as disinterested in reviewing them because they don't taste like what "the man" thinks an energy drink should taste like. All of a sudden, Amp is like a cool dude that just came to your high school who might be 25, has a full beard, and somehow rides a motorcycle and keeps his hair looking sharp. How does he do it? You'll never know. You'll never be as cool as him and man, is that bike loud. The teachers hate it but even they think he's cool.

It was a rough day for Taylor. Her car broke down in a small town. This town was renowned for it's shops and restaurants but Taylor thought otherwise. Taylor, a big city girl at heart found that there was nothing to do. None of the shops catered to her expensive tastes. Taylor was a Tiffany's girl. Taylor wore Chanel. Taylor wore Marc Jacobs. Taylor did not wear Hanes, regardless of how great the cotton was supposed to be. She was very hungry and decided to get something to eat and noticed that all of the restaurants served primarily fried food. Chicken, french fries, and grits; a food she had only heard about and never seen.

While walking through the small town, she felt unsafe. Passerby gave her awkward glances. She clutched her Michael Kors purse close to her as she walked the dusty streets. Her white dress had gotten filthy by the dirt that the cars were kicking up. Her feet, although wrapped in the finest Manolo's, had turned black with filth. Not to mention that she had sweat due to the heat and lack of shade and air conditioning. Men were seen dobbing their browns with handkerchiefs due to the heat.

Finally, a sight for sore eyes, Taylor spotted the best thing since she broke down in that one horse town; a Starbucks. She practically ran inside and kissed the barista on the lips. She ordered the most city thing she could think of, a mocha cookie crumble Frappuccino. She sat down in the air-conditioned location that was practically empty with her drink and let out a sigh as she took her first sip. This drink was decked out to the nines. Chocolate, mocha, chocolate chip crumbles, chocolate whipped cream all mixed together into a delightful treat. It was a treat. She loved every sip. It was sweet, chocolate, and coffee all in one mix. Her bad day appeared to disappear as she finished it.

Just as she took her last sip, the mechanic called and told her that her car was fixed and that it was a small issue that he had seen "city folk" come in with previously so it wasn't a major deal. She was very happy that everything worked out in the end. She was happy to leave the town and go back to the city but she won't soon forget the day that Starbucks almost saved her life.

Mallory, a dedicated woman, was determined to acquire mangos. She loved eating them and what made them better is that there was a large competition to acquire them, as there were limited quantities and a lot of demand.

One day, merchants infiltrated the town Mallory lived in and kidnapped her and made her work in their orange orchard. When working one day, she found a tree of blood oranges on the fringe of the orchard. She then got put in jail while trying to escape during one of her shifts. She wouldn't tell anyone where the blood orange tree was. When released, Mallory immediately ran back to the blood orange tree, harvested as many as she could and escaped to a nearby village where she wasn't in danger of being found.

Thirsty, Mallory juiced some of her precious blood oranges as well as her favorite fruit, mangos. She used a local Stevia plant to sweeten it, a trick she learned in prison. She took a giant sip of it and was ecstatic. She had escaped the kidnappers and made a delicious juice. It tasted like blood orange, followed by a little mango, and then closed out with the sweetness of the sweetener. She settled into the town as a juice maker really solidifying her brand with her initial drink.

She would never forget the terrors that she faced in her past but looks forward to a bright future of juicing.

Jay and I are like brothers. Here are some little known facts about us:

1. We moved in together on someone else's suggestion after about two days of really knowing each other.


2. We wrote a ton of songs about barbecues.


3. We lived together without having a single fight.


4. We've seen each other's girlfriend's naked. Not current ones, but one girlfriend back each.

That's a close list of stuff, right? What more do you need to know you are compatible? Nothing. Jay knows what I like and he saw this Made and knew that it was a drink for me.

The cranberry of this drink is the number one flavor. It's prevalent and very strong and bites you the whole way through this euphonious ride. The lemon comes and goes. It's there but it goes and you don't miss it. The green tea does the same, but the cranberry easily trumps the bitterness of it. There is an odd but very Made flavor and it might be the final ingredient, Sucralose. It's not a deal breaker, ladies. It's fine. If I saw this again, I would drink it. I would recommend it to a friend. That means a lot because I drink a lot.

Jay and I like Made. Jay and I like each other. Jay and I like cooking on a grill with friends. We're great to be around. Find us. We'll entertain you.