Mike Literman - 1759 Reviews

I'll tell you what blows and that's waking up sick as a dog. I'm floating through the day and it's a feeling that I absolutely hate. Plus, I've got a dry cough that I can't shake no matter how much liquid I drink and cough drops I have. I've got to put it in the hands of the drink gods to provide me with something that will battle the vermin inside of me. I had this little guy lying around, read the nutritional facts and knew that this is what I needed.

I slightly knew what I was getting into with this drink. The others have been little powerhouses and I was lucky to discover that this one was a whole lot less powerful. I was grateful for that. This one still had a little "functional" taste to it but it did taste a bit like fruit punch. That "functional" taste I speak of is that thing where you know that a drink is up to something like when you taste it, it tastes funny and you read the ingredients and discover that it's a whole serving of vegetables in it. That type of feeling except this one is just chocked full of vitamin and minerals so that small fries can play baseball. I hope that my son is a better baseball player than I was. I don't think my dad could take another lame outfielder in the family.

You'd think that Vitamin Water would just buy all the flavors and close all these companies out. Sure, it would cost them a bit of money to research and test all these to make sure they are right for work. It's just that they were there first (they might not have been but I can't remember any other ones) and I just associate flavored, vitamin-enriched water with them.

So Asante found one that slipped through Vitamin Water's cracks and made it. Good for them. One more "good for them" goes towards the fact that it's pretty good. I guess these vitamin waters (notice the no caps) are just watered down juices. It's hard to say. It is different. I do like them. I like this. This is like a three quarter dragon fruit and one quarter strawberry. I like it. I don't know where Jay got it, but he got it, and I drank it, and I liked it. What more is to be said for that?

I liked high school. That doesn't mean that I was great at it, but I liked it. I took a lot of great technology, shop, and music courses my senior year and it was like the school I always wanted. In hindsight, I wish I had gone with a trade school versus a traditional...or three colleges.

Back to high school: In high school we only had a Powerade machine. One. Singular. That was the one and only vending machine in the entire school. I would talk to other kids that would have all these pop machine and snack machines and stuff. I was jealous. For this reason, since I was 16 (1998) I have had a bad taste in my mouth. Yes, Powerade, it's because I'm a dumb idiot. Also, for no reason, I thought that Powerade was slightly carbonated regardless of how many times people told me that it wasn't. Without exaggeration, I have not had Powerade since I was a junior in high school; Today that all changed.

Jay and I came across it and I knew that it was time to change everything. Why should I hold a grudge against a company because they offered us something when no one else would? I should have loved Powerade these past few years. After today I have these regrets. This whole time I was missing a decent line of drinks that, yes, is like Gatorade, I'll say it, but it's good. I think that the fruit punch was good. Maybe the "zero" of it all calmed down the sweetness but I did a good job clobbering nearly thirty-two ounces of it. It was good. If you like fruit punch but don't like the strange bite that it sometimes has and like the drinkability of Gatorade and hate calories, this is the drink for you.

I'm sorry, Powerade. My alma mater thanks you and that's coming from a cynical jerk. It's been a long time coming. Sorry, guys.

So many nights. So many nights were spent with Jay and/or my friend RJ skating downtown, sitting on a curb drinking Arizona green tea tall boys just watching the world pass by. Those were good times. We'd be over someone's house and go to a place called "We Never Close" that we called "Weiner Close" because some appropriate lights were out for an extended amount of time and get can after can of this. It was the entry to a world of new drinks. While everyone else was drinking Brisk, you were drinking something with ginseng and honey in it. This was innovative to the drink line. Green tea? I've had black tea before and if you're from the South, you've had sweet tea but sweet green tea? That's just crazy. Arizona killed it with this one and they probably, hopefully still do.

It's held up in it's ability to remind me of a time when I was hanging out with friends having a wonderful time. I've certainly had better teas since those days but I will never dismiss Arizona as being an influence to what different types of tea can be on the market. I now drive past that corner I used to sit on as an early twenty-something and I won't soon forget just sitting there, sitting, talking about music and stuff. It was something I looked forward to. It was when things used to be a little bit slower than they are now. Oh to be back there now. A lot has happened in ten years.

As for a review: You've had it, you know. I was blown away when I saw that we hadn't reviewed this before. I feel that I owe Arizona an apology for not drinking and reviewing this sooner. Everyone loves it. Arizona; You're fine. Keep up the good work. I'm sure there are countless stories like this in different parts of the country all around this epic drink.

Boat shoes? Check. Polo shirt? Check. Madras shorts? Check. Book on how to tie knots? Check. Ray Ban Sunglasses? Check. Those are the prerequisites for buying a bottle of Yacht Club ginger beer. We have put together the necessities and have gone to the store where they unlocked the case. Then and only then did we pay the required $1.50.

We got it home, took all our fancy clothes off, put that book of knots back on the shelf, put back on our obscure band shirts and a pair of dusty old jeans and took a sip. All of our hard work at J. Crew was not for naught because this is pretty great. It's got a nice sweet start and then burns you. It's not terribly hot but it's on the warmer side of the ginger beer scale. That side is also known as our "good side" since we like it hot. Some like it hot. We like it hot. It left a nice tingle in our throats, which left us wanting more.

Now we've got all these clothes and the know how of sailing, maybe we'll put it to good use someday. Us Thirsty Dudes out at sea, eating sea fare with pirates and golfers is going to be in our near future. That's what sailing is right? Jib? Right? Stern and bow? Right? Starboard and the other one. Right?

Long nights. I've got clients asking me for sites, girlfriend asking me for sites, and personal "pet project" sites all going on at the same time. These long nights turn in to long days. The long days call for some sort of coffee drink.

I've said it before and I'll say it again; I don't get picked up by drinks. I don't "feel" coffee drinks or energy drinks. Either that of I'm so disconnected from the way my body feels I don't feel highs or lows from stimulates blood sugar. I know I periodically feel "the shakes" but that typically means I need to eat because I stupidly forgot to within the last sixteen hours or so. I do that. I forget. I'm human.

All the same, I was feeling a coffee drink and just so happened to have one. Now I love Thai tea. It's a wonderful treat whether you're enjoying some pho or enjoying a Hot Pocket. What? Barbecue Hot Pockets are nothing short of a treasure. This is less of a treat. Good, but it falls short of its English ingrediented brethren. It's coffee, cream, and sugar. No exotic spices or anything. It claims that it's made with Thai coffee but not being a coffee aficionado, I don't know the difference when masked with full cream and sugar. It's good though. It's no Thai tea, but what is? Am I right? You over there in the "Cat in the Hat" hat. Am I right? Am I right in thinking that it's no longer 1998 and you had your two weeks to legitimately wear that hat and now it's far past out of date? I submit that I am. Take that thing off, will you? Oh, dyed hair put in tiny knots and held together in small, multi-color rubber bands. You're really a piece of work aren't you? Yeah, Korn was great. You're right and I can't argue with that. Carry on.

I've been sitting on my computer for the past four hours working on a new project. Within that time I have listened to predominately electro-pop like Tesla Boy, Anoraak, Brookes Brothers, and Skinny Puppy "Remission," which could not be further from electro-pop. I'm in a fantastic mood and that's also considering I took ten minutes to walk down the street to see a car chase gone wrong with a criminal crashing into a tree and a cop car crashing into someone's front porch. I'm in the zone (chief) and I could stay up all night and get a good portion of this project done and over with if it wasn't for my better judgment and assumption/guarantee that my son will wake up between 7:30 and 8 in the morning and I will be drained all day.

As I'm working, I'm working on this iced tea. I was stoked to see this in the smaller bottles today instead of those gargantuan, thirty-plus ounce bottles. I had no choice but to fork over a buck and a half and get it. I took one sip and my glee promptly turned into disappointment. Why? Simple. Lipton forgot to add the watermelon. I was so excited to try a watermelon green tea but Lipton, in their haste, forgot to put the watermelon flavor in this. It's got a decent green tea taste and I commend that. It does taste a little diet, which is good considering this is a diet drink sweetened exclusively with sucralose and that stuff is grozz. I have eaten watermelon on numerous occasions and I've got to say that this drink is simply lacking that flavor.

I understand that the two is harsh, but it's partially a punishment for getting my hopes up with the promise of watermelon green tea and also the fact that all the flavors of this line of tea have been great. Bottom rung.

I complain about this stuff all the time, a company delivers, and I complain. Therefore, I am sorry in advance. This drink, lemon sting, is just too much. It's a lot of lemon, and I like lemon. It's also a lot of honey, and I like honey. The two together tastes a bit too much like I should be drinking this with a sore throat.

I give this company full appreciation. I really do. Also, for adding rosemary in this drink saved you from a dreaded "2" rating. There is nothing in this drink, and for what it is it's great. What it is is reminiscent of long nights spent with a runny nose, coughing, and trying to talk as little as possible while trying to achieve 100% completion in whatever video game you're playing. I'm currently playing Just Cause 2 and if I have to have a sore throat and need lozenges for the duration of time it takes me to get 100% I might cut my throat clean off.

I sit here all day. Watching. Watching the people. They want me and they don't even know it. I sit here, all tasty. I'm made from strawberries and lemons. Who wouldn't love me? Is that woman getting beaten by another woman? We're talking about me for a minute. I'm sweet and you can taste the strawberry but it still has the sting of the lemonade. It's like I've got a big jug of lemonade with countless amounts of strawberries just marinating in me. Now what do we have here? I've got to learn how to use this telescope better. I wonder if that kid that broke my leg is out delivering papers. He always does a terrible job. He doesn't make it within ten feet of the porch and often throws it when the sprinklers are on leaving me with a wet, unreadable paper.

I can't see, though. What is going on in that car? Is that a drug deal? No. It can't be. It's two kids. Was the local news true? Is Breaking Bad really influencing kids to deal drugs? Oh, wait, they're just playing Pokemon. This is dumb. I should be outside basking in the sun showing off my delicious digs. I'm strawberry lemonade, broken leg or not. I'm delicious and all will envy me. Just five more minutes. That orange juice across the street is taking off her sarong.

Terrible. Awful. Putrid. Twice as awful. I sparingly like coconut water as it is but this...man...something went wrong here. It smells good. I was hoping this would be awesome. It had to be. It smelled good. Then you take a sip and it all goes wrong. This was cold, the way that coconut water is supposed to be drunk. It tasted like if toothpaste was made from mashed up coconuts and people were crying it was so bad so someone at the company mixed a little fruit in it. It's heavy, heavy coconut and all the blast coolers in the world couldn't save this drink.

I wish I had my tongue scraper with me. This drink was unbearable.

Hey dude. Check out that chick right there. So hot. I'm so glad we came to "Big Wet" instead of going to that theme park with the water park in it. They've got a Dunkin' Donuts right across the street. Do you want anything? I'll get my hand stamped and come right back.

Here you go. Oh, this? It's an Oreo Coolatta. It's pretty good. Want to try it? Yeah, it tastes mostly like Oreo cookies and not a lot like coffee. Would I have appreciated a bit more coffee? Yeah. Did someone just scream? Maybe it was some kids going down a waterslide. Yeah, I would have appreciated a bit more coffee but look at all the cookie in here. It's a fine grind, but I've got to say that there are two or three ground up cookies in this drink. It's sweet and man is it big. This twenty-four ouncer is a medium. No one needs this much but you know what? It's hot out.

Dude! Did you see that!? That! Right there! That hot chick is missing a leg! She had one a minute ago and now she doesn't. That was a hot leg. Why am I making jokes? Is that kid missing a hand? What the heck is going on? Is that pool filled with blood? Woah! Did you see that?! A piranha just jumped out of the water and bit that girl's neck. We've got to get out of here. Where's Carl? Is he still in the pool? Carl!! Carl!! Get out of the pool! No, you are not safe on that raft. Those piranhas are everywhere and they're eating people. Get out of the pool. Yes, you can have the rest of this Coolatta just get out. Oh, great. You see, Carl, you idiot? You stayed in and now you've got a piranha on your arm. Get that thing off and let's just get out of here. It's still nice out. We can still make it to that theme park and go on that roller coaster once we get you all bandaged up. Man, that piranha did a number on you. Just put some of these napkins on it. It will be fine.

Dear diary,
Today was a heck of a day. We wanted to go to Lake Victoria but it was closed due to some awful occurrence that no one wanted to talk about. We decided to all go to "Big Wet" which is a new waterpark that has an adult pool where everyone is naked. Now I'm confident about my body but I'm no dummy. I know that it's going to be filled with nude old people. Also, we saw in the town paper that David Hasselhoff was going to be there for the grand opening. We stopped at the grocery store the night before to get some drinks and suntan lotion and went to bed so we could wake up early and beat the rush the next day.

We got there bright and early and there were a few dozen people there already. We eventually got in and it was alright. It really didn't feel like anything special. Two pools probably run by some seedy dude who wanted people to pay to think they were going to see hot girls nude. The water was nice and everyone has having a nice time. Oh, and Mr. Hasselhoff did show up and for his age, looked pretty good. I've got to admit.

All of a sudden, people started screaming. I couldn't see what was going on so I got out of the pool and started going over to where people were yelling. In the adult pool there was blood everywhere. It was like nothing I had ever seen. Someone mentioned something about piranhas but I didn't think that was true at all even though it did seem like twenty people were running around with blood on them. We didn't want to stick around so we left.

All the sun and excitement wore us out so we went back to the hotel. I bought some organic energy drink that was actually really good. It was fruity and sweet and didn't taste like an energy drink. It was tart and on the way better side of other energy drinks. Also, the can had a nice hand to it, like it was painted with some sort of flat paint. Normally I wouldn't care so much about a can, but the effort was put in to it and I felt the need to mention it.

We turned on the TV and saw that it actually was piranhas and a ton of people died. I can't be right all the time, I guess. That's terrible for those people but I'm glad we got out of there when we did. We promptly turned off the TV because it was bumming us out and went to Applebee's. I hope David Hasselhoff was alright. I think my mom would be devastated if anything ever happened to him.

My brother has a friend that is in the armed forces. I don't know what branch, sorry. I guess he goes out for weekends and get these and sometimes gives them to my brother. I was at my parent's house and she offered it to me and told me to give it a try. Looking at this bag of government drink mix, I didn't know what to expect other than bland. Honestly, I didn't know they had such gourmet flavors up their sleeves. I figured it was a lot of dehydrated ice cream and dehydrated Salisbury steak. Everything in the military is dehydrated. I've been to the Army/Navy surplus store. I know what I'm talking about.

I followed the directions to a "T." Six ounces of water, place in bag, shake, and drink. Like I said, I didn't know what to expect so I wanted this to be as ideal as possible. I poured it back out and it came out looking like chocolate milk. Ideal. I took a sip and was pleased. It tasted like chocolate milk and I guess there could have been hazelnut in there. The only reference I have for chocolate and hazelnut is Nutella, which I love.

We do this website for people who want to try new drinks. I guess that if you're in the military, you can't really be picky so here's what I'm saying. If you have been drinking the chocolate milk day in and day out, you are safe with this one. You've done well, government. You treat our troops better than I thought.

I don't mean to bring up old stuff, but the South lost again. The battle of sweet tea is a battle filled with casualties and here is yet another poor soul that just can't make the cut.

Is it too much to ask that the simplest concoction ever created be made right? Black tea and sugar. Done. If you need to put preservatives in there in increase shelf life, I'm cool with that. Once you start mixing all sorts of other garbage in there it starts to go downhill. Corn syrup will never be an ingredient in a good quality sweet tea. This drink tastes like if you ordered a tea at a restaurant, didn't know that it was unsweetened, and then poured miscellaneous sugar packets into it. One of the final ingredients in this is sucralose and you would think that you would not be able to tell but you can. You know that strange aftertaste? That's the sucralose, detective.

Arizona and Admiral. You know better than that. Why let me, a self-described stupid idiot, teach you how to make a drink? You are drink companies and should know the lay of the land. I'll give you this one for free.

I will never forget the first time I had this tea. I was in a band and we were recording our first record. The studio was at the dude's house and he had a roommate. In between us recording parts, we would hang out around his house. His roommate had a tea in the fridge that he just made which was hot brewing a pot of tea and then pouring it over ice and throwing it into the fridge. He offered me a glass and since I have been one to turn down new drinks. I took one sip and I was in love. From that point on, which was 2005, I have had this in stock at my house. I don't like to not have it because I like to have it when I want it. I buy it myself so I don't consider it being spoiled.

How do describe this. First of all, it's a cleaner licorice than you would expect. If you are thinking this is like drinking a tea that had a handful of black licorice Twizzlers, you could not be more incorrect. It's a light licorice with a little bit of cinnamon and a secret cooling flavor that is awesome. This tea is great at any temperature. I made a hot cup of tea earlier, drank some, went to lunch, and then came back and drank cold tea. Just as good. Over ice? Just as good. Hot as the sun? Just as good. Also, you can make multiple cups with one bag. This tea cannot lose.

I don't drink coffee. I feel like I could make it in England because I drink a lot of tea. I would also drink a Brit's amount of tea if this were the tea that I had to drink. Can I do that? Dear "the public." Can you send me to England to see if I can keep up with the amount of tea the UK drinks while only drinking this Egyptian Licorice tea? I hope the answer is "yes." Love, Mike Literman.

First, let's get this right out of the way. Jay and I cannot drink this without thinking of this Homestar Runner cartoon.

Now, 'tis the reviewing hour. Much south of the eerie midnight that would be the appropriate time to drink pop from a company called "Witch's Brew" from Salem, Massachusetts. I feel like I should be listening to the band "Salem" and watching Bram Stoker's "Dracula" and doing something like sharpening stakes and/or doing something with garlic not related to making pasta. I wonder what Italian food vampires can eat. Do they touch that topic in the Twilight series? See, these are the questions that people have. They don't care if they can love. They care if they can use toothpicks which are really tiny wooden stakes.

In broad daylight, a time that vampires hate but witches probably don't mind, I am drinking this pop with my coworkers. Some like it. Some don't. Do you know what that means? That means that some people simply are riding along with Jay's bandwagon of not liking black cherry. Simply put, this pop is just another black cherry pop. It's not bad but it's nothing exceptional. I don't know if I've ever had an exceptional black cherry pop. I don't know if one exists. It would be nice if one did because I'm bored with this monotonous other stuff. You'd think witches could put something in there, like the ever popular "eye of newt" or perhaps something as simple as cinnamon to spice this up. Eh, witches have plenty of other things up their giant sleeves. Pop is probably pretty far down on their list, well below trying not to get burned at the stake and finding pointy hats.

It appeared that the only place for John to get wonderful, cold coffee drinks was Asian markets. He didn't mind since they came in great little cans of all shapes and no matter which one he picked, they were all about the same and they were all good. That is until he took a trip to the Great White North, Canada.

He went to go to a conference on fishing lures when some fishing friends coerced him to go to a place called Tim Horton's. He went in the summer when it was very hot outside and thought that straight, hot coffee would have been a terrible choice. He saw that they were advertising a new iced mocha so he decided to give that a go. Two minutes later he was in heaven. It was cold, chocolaty, and made from an honest coffee. Not to mention, for the sweet tooth that he had from time to time, they put chocolate whipped cream with chocolate syrup on top. Whenever he decided he needed a break from the coffee, he pulled the straw out a bit and had some chocolate. It was like they thought of everything.

John had a great time in Canada. He learned a lot about fishing up north, what lures are coming out, and what place to go to when he wants a good mocha. Canada is alright in John's book.

What a pile of garbage. Jay is going to be so disappointed, poor little guy. Back on May 21st of this year, I found on the internets that R.W. made a hibiscus cooler. We love hibiscus. It is a miracle ingredient. It makes everything better somehow. I've bought cases of a hibiscus tea I like because it was so exceptional.

This...there isn't much to be said about it. It tastes like a cranberry juice watered down with apple juice. Hello? Hibiscus? Are you even in there? I get it just at the end, that little bit of spicy, flower, but when I say "spicy" do not expect anything. It could be the orange talking. There is also orange in there but it might only be the aftertaste. So disappointing.

Jay, I know you've got a bottle of this at your house. Please don't get too sad about it. I'll talk you out of your inevitable depression.

Sometimes water needs a little boost. I'll say it. I drink a lot of water. Probably not enough, but when I'm home, I drink glass after glass. Back to the original issue at hand, sometimes water needs a boost. Carbonation is one thing but, for some reason, it makes it taste different. To me, that specific "different" is not good. "Soda water" as it is affectionately known is gross to me and won't travel down my gullet.

Oddly enough, if you just add a little natural orange flavor and it's a different animal. It still feels good for you because there is no sugar, doesn't taste like there is sugar in there, and doesn't taste too strong that they're trying to surprise you with secret ingredients. It's just like a carbonated water with an essence of orange. That's it. You have to carbonate it yourself and add the ingredients. You are like Jesus except instead of wine you are making carbonated, orange flavored water. Less impressive since you didn't magically perform any sort of rapid fermentation process, but impressive nonetheless.

Jay doesn't like lemon tea. I don't know if he doesn't like lemons or what manufactured lemon tea has become. You've got about a 50% chance of getting something that tastes like an actual lemon. Lemon tea is becoming the grape of the drink family. Candy grapes taste nothing like real grapes but all candy grape things taste the same. Lemon tea is the same. Well, almost always. This has that tingle on your tongue that you get from letting a lightly sweetened sun tea with a few lemon slices in it gives you. That being said, it reminds me that we have had one gnarly, sun-filled summer and I haven't made sun tea once. Part of me just died inside.

This tea is a nice, honest tea; no pun intended. It's low calorie but you would just think that there simply isn't as much sugar as in another tea. It's no lemon Southern style sweet tea so get that out of your thick skulls. If that is the tea for you and that's all you drink, you will consider this unsweetened. If you like unsweetened tea, you might be able to make the leap. Never downward, always upward.