Energy Drink - 555 Reviews

Dear Mr. Zuckerberg,
It has come to our attention that people are becoming annoyed at the constant layout changes you've been making to The Facebook. I'm sorry, I was just told Justin Timberlake told you to drop the 'The' and it's now called just 'Facebook'. Anyways, if you don't do something drastic and awesome soon, I think people are going to jump ship and join Google + more rapidly. Sure you could clean up the layout, make privacy settings better, and a whole slew of other things, but I have a better idea!

An energy drink! Kids these days love energy drinks. Have you seen the energy drink sections at corner stores lately? It's bigger than the juice section! So you get this energy drink in the hands of kids and they will be so wired and hyperactive they will want to post a million photos and status updates.

Ready to hear the name I thought of? You're going to love it: Facedrink. Isn't it great!? What's that? Oh.... apparently there is already an energy shot called Facedrink. Its tag line is "the social drink". Hmmm, well great minds think alike I guess. Lemme give it a try. Not bad at all! Most energy shots are gross, but this one is pretty good. I already feel energized and ready to post about this on Facebook. See! It's working already and I'm not even the target demographic.

Sincerely,
Derek

I didn't even have to open this to determine what it would taste like. The can is obviously trying to replicate Monster energy drinks so I was guessing that the insides were as well. I assumed correctly because this tastes just like the low carb Monster: melted candy with a diet energy drink aftertaste. Not bad per se, but not groundbreaking. This should try and find its own energy identity and stop trying to emulate one of the best out there.

On a recent trip to the tropics, Shawn wanted to taste all that the tropics to offer. He ate many things in, around, and out of pineapples. He ate a lot of fresh fish such as grouper and a red snapper that was the same size as his two-year-old son. He devoured tons of delicious fruits like mangoes, grapefruits, lemons, and limes. He even ate a rather gluttonously large bowl of turtle soup, which he was on the fence about but tried and liked more than his vegetarian wife would have liked. On the final day, he went to a pig roast and after that, he was ready to come home to Minneapolis.

On the plane ride home, he felt a bit of a void. Yes, he had done as the people of the land had done, but he felt that he didn't get a well-rounded taste of the tropics. If he could blend the culture, food, and drink up into a very good, industrial blender, he could have what he desired. When he got home, he went to work the next day, still feeling that hole that he didn't get. A few days later, a package arrived on his doorstep. He hadn't ordered anything except for Pet Shop Boys Please and this was too large to be that. He opened the box and there was a note and a box. It read:
Shawn,
We thank you for your recent trip to the topics. We notice that you did quite a lot of activities and we appreciate you using your time to its fullest extent. We have sent you a package of Phix in the Tropic flavor so you can drink your vacation whenever you want.
Thanks again,
Joe the travel agent

Shawn opened up the package and quickly but carefully poured the powder into a leftover bottle of water. As he drank it, he remembered all the good things about the trip he had just returned from. No, it didn't taste like fish, turtles, coconut, and pig. It tasted fruity, a bit citrus-y, and as an extra added bonus, was an energy drink to get him out of whatever rut he was in. He was smart to have put it in a resealable water bottle because shakable, mixable stuff fell to the bottom and he had to mix it up. It kept it interactive and he was fine with it. He was happy with the taste and now, rather than pictures, he could carry around little packs of his vacation and not have to show disinterested people pictures of him eating a swordfish.

Energy drinks are getting too extreme these days. Between the Redline review Derek did yesterday and this I think one of us is going to have a heart attack.

I have a bad habit of drinking something first and then reading everything on the packaging after I'm done. Luckily I did not do that with this because there are a bunch of warnings on it to read the label before use. It also says "Not for sale to minors" on it a bunch of times, so you know things are serious. I feel like teenagers are the prime market for most energy drinks, so when they exclude them you know it has to be powerful. The bottle informs me not to drink more than 6oz in an eight-hour period. I think I accidentally drank about 8, and I sure can feel it. Like to the point where I kind of want to throw up to purge my body of the poison.

As far as taste goes, it tastes like a diet Gatorade or something of that ilk. Not a flavor I'm fond of, but what do you expect with a diet drink. It doesn't have as much of a "energy chemical" taste as I would have expected seeing as it's ridiculously concentrated.

I can't really get behind this drink. When I drink an energy drink I do it for a little push to help me stay awake, or if I'm going to be doing strenuous activity. I like to not notice it much. This is jitter central. I wish I could undo drinking so much.

I was scared to drink this. I was recommended to try this out by my friend Mike Soto, because he said it was the most intense energy drink he has ever had. Challenge accepted! I finally came across it in a gas station in Bloomington, IN. I was feeling pretty tired before I started drinking this so we'll see how it goes.

Observation one: It's clear and non-carbonated. This is unusual among energy drinks. I've had plenty of non- carbonated ones, but I don't recall any clear drinks. It's nice because it means that they didn't add any unnecessary coloring.

Observation two: Terrifying reviews online. I came across this Amazon review that was titled 'You might die!'. This freaked me out a bit. I have definitely had my fair share of energy drinks over the years, but only once has my heart actually hurt from them. It was when I stayed up all night before an 8-hour shift at work and I ended up drinking five energy drinks in the course of 12 hours. It was not a pleasant experience and I have never done anything that stupid again.

Observation three: There is a gauge on the side of the bottle. Yes, to make sure you don't drink too much in one sitting (you're only recommended to drink half of the 8oz bottle at a time), they have a gauge to let you see where the drink level is at. On top of this, there are warnings ALL OVER the bottle. They all say "CAUTION, read label before drinking". I have drank about 1oz so far and I'm already really energized.

Observation four: It tastes good! Really good actually. It doesn't taste like an energy drink at all, especially not a diet one. It's like a slightly thicker berry vitamin water with more flavor. Trying to determine the flavor I ended up drinking another 2oz. Uh oh...

Observation five: This drink is intense!! In the name of science (reviewing drinks is a science, right?), I decided I needed to drink the entire serving of 4 oz to properly review this. Let's just say, this REALLY works. I feel more awake than I ever have been in my entire life. The term "hyper aware" comes to mind. The way I feel right now is what I imagine cats feel like when they see something flying in the air and their heads jerk back and forth really quickly. This is easily the most effective energy drink I have ever consumed. At the same time, I would be terrified to drink this whole bottle in one sitting.

You know when you have weird connections to things and no matter how hard you try to disassociate them? I have one with Rockstar energy drinks. Anytime I see one of their cans, "Rock Superstar" by Cypress Hill pops into my head. Not just a quirky "oh remember the 6 months that song was played everywhere?" type of thing. Nope, it starts playing in my head starting with the chorus. I can honestly say it's been over 7 years since I have heard that song. My brain is an iron trap for music and in cases like this, I hate it so much!

So when I grabbed this can from the gas station, the song started playing in my head as per usual. Luckily, "Till the World Ends" by Britney Spears was playing inside the store and I was able to drown out Cypress Hill. (Yes, I like catchy dance pop like Britney Spears, so what?). Upon opening it I remembered the other reason I don't like Rockstar energy drinks: they are gross. This is just generic citrus flavor with a really strong energy drink taste. I've lucked out and haven't had many gross energy drinks lately so I forgot how bad that energy drink taste can be. After a few sips, I could feel my throat swelling up a little. It's as if my throat is talking to my tongue and wants me to stop drinking it. Gladly!

The packaging makes this drink look like it's going to be ice cold. Like when mints have that weird coldness to it. I didn't expect it to be minty, but I hoped it would have the same freezing effect. It ended up just tasting like a regular diet energy drink. When Dan first opened it and took a sip he said it was pretty gross. I expected the worst, but it tasted fairly average to me. Underneath all of that chemical energy it took a second for my taste buds to register that it was even diet.

In the end this is one of the best diet energy drinks that I've tried. With no sugar or calories it's also probably one of the "healthiest" I've ever had as well. To be fair neither of those are really that crazy of achievements.

Someday Midge will see how much I love her and she'll come runnin' to old Moe. Sure I own a crap hole of a bar and I more than occasionally delve into some less than legal monetary pursuits (what was I thinking keeping a whale in the back of the bar?) but I've sure as hell put the time into winning her over. It's exhausting really. For the past 22 seasons I've been following her and Homer all around this god-forsaken planet just to be close to her. Oh Midge if you only knew the time and effort I put in each week following and watching you for all these years. Sneaking into the luggage compartments on planes, hiding in the flora of the restaurants they eat in, and a whole lot of creeping around watching through windows.

In the early days in order to keep up steam I had to rely on some classic meth that I would get from Cletus, but after what it did to my skin, and with my teeth falling out and whatnot I knew I needed to stop. Lucky for me Duff released an energy drink. I can tell you it's sure a hell of a lot better than that swill ale those low life drunks at my bar gulp down all day. It tastes like a classic energy drink with a nice citrus twist. Sure they use high fructose corn syrup, and I swore I was going to cut that down so I could get in shape for my love, but really what can you expect from such a low rent company as Duff. At least it keeps me up for my late night sessions of watching Midge sleep. That is when Homer's fat whale of a body isn't blocking my vision. Speaking of which it's about time for me to be climbing that old tree. Someday she will be mine. Oh yes, she will be mine.

Hey Frankie, I thought I told you to pick me up an energy drink? This thing don't taste like no energy drink I ever had. It taste like a more juicy soda pop. You know with like fruit and junk in it. What do you mean does it have taurine in it? What am I some kind of ingredientologist? Fine I'll read the stupid can. Yeah it's got that "t" stuff in it. Sounds like something to do with a bull. Is that what gives Red Bull it's kick? Wait this isn't bull testicles is it? If it is and this is some kind of joke I'm going to box your ears. Okay, okay I believe you. This stuff still doesn't taste like an energy drink though. It tastes like a fancy orange juice with bubbles in it. Tangerines you say? Well ooolala Mr. Fancy Pants Frenchman. Now shut your mouth and help me rip up this carpet.

Matt loves going to dance clubs. He loves dancing so much that he weaseled his way into a job as a bar back at his favorite club in town, Blue Monday. Yes, they are so original that they named themselves after New Order's most well known song. They even host "New Order Mondays". It's pretty absurd if you ask me, but the kids seem to like it.

Another interesting thing about Matt is he's straight edge. He gets made fun of a lot for being around alcohol all day long, but he doesn't care. His love for dancing overrides his distaste for alcoholic drinks. Since he's been working at Blue Monday for so long, they started taking his suggestions for non-alcoholic drinks to stock. The owner was pretty loyal to Red Bull for a while, but when Matt told him there was a line of energy drinks called "Blu", he jumped for joy. Literally, he leapt into the air. I wasn't there, but I know the bartender on at the time and he said it was really weird.

A few weeks later they got their first shipment of Blu energy drinks. It was a huge success. The post-ironic crowd the club drew loved the idea of drinking Blu energy drinks, inside of a club called Blue Monday, while the song "Blue Monday" by New Order was playing. Occasionally they'd also play "Blue (Da Ba Dee)" by Eiffel 65 to mix things up a bit. It was really gross.

Last time I was there was for the opening day of New Order November (don't ask). They were all out of the other flavors of Blu so I tried the sugar free version for the first time. I was expecting it to be gross, but it wasn't that bad at all. It tasted really similar to sugar free Red Bull. I'm glad to see my friend Matt is happy and the club is doing well with their Blu energy drink sales. I just hope someday the owner will realize that irony is dead.

Oh I'm so sweaty from getting my swell on. Four hours of just heavy, free weights does wonders to my deltoids. I don't ride the bikes because that's for girls. I don't use stair climbers because that's for old men. I use free weights and that machine that shakes you together to get the maximum amount of swell to my increasingly bulging biceps.

After two hours, I run out of steam and I need some pump up so that I can pump up. At the smoothie bar, they sell these packets called Phix that the gentleman behind the counter mixes it in a cup with a fancy, long spoon. Slammed. I slammed it, like I do those weights. Slammed. Like Onyx. It went down smooth. It wasn't too strong either. It was a light drink, like a watered down juice. It didn't really taste like an energy drink. It just tasted good with a light fruit taste. I'm used to slamming down energy drinks and protein drinks that are either too sweet, or too thick, or too gross. This is the perfect drink for me to pump iron long into the night, as I do frequently. I have a goal to look like I did in my high school picture and now that I am a hundred pounds heavier. I have to work harder to get rid of those last, pesky fifty pounds. I've got to strive to slip into those Sasoon jeans and Yes T-Shirt like I had in my senior picture. I've got to get back to working on my hammies.

I've been drinking a lot of diet drinks lately. I'm not going to lie, all those empty calories have been going to my waistline lately. While I'm perfectly comfortable with my weight, it wouldn't hurt me to lose a few pounds. Why am I telling you all this? Well it's to say that since I've been drinking more drinks with fake sugar in them, I've gotten used to the taste, which used to repulse me. Sucralose and its friends no longer taste like chemicals to me. Is this a good thing? I don't know.

One aspect where it's a good thing is I am able to judge the taste of a diet drink a little better. I was expecting this to be pretty bland, but I was pleasantly surprised after the first sip. It tasted like a diet version of the original Go Fast Sports energy drink, but there was something else I couldn't put my finger on. I thought maybe they were using stevia as the sweetener, but that wasn't it.

Honey. That is the main sweetener in this. Totally took me by surprise! It works really well too. Now that I know there is honey in this, it makes sense and I can taste it. It's not strong, but it's really nice sweetness in the aftertaste.

Energy shots are garbage. It's a scientific fact. They are concentrated so they taste like liquid trash. It's up to you to decide if the trade off it worth it. Do you want to chug a big sugary can of something that will make you pee at least twice, or do you want something quick and compact? The cans generally taste better, in their own chemical way, but the shots can be stored in a pocket for anytime use.

Normally the shots and cans are around the same price, but On Go has put out this line of shots that are less than a dollar each. So they are compact and inexpensive. This one also tastes like radioactive raspberries. It's sad that the flavor doesn't put it at a disadvantage against other energy shots. As I said they all taste like neon trash. I can say that this works, possibly too well. I drank it on an all day excursion of bike riding/hiking/beaver watching and pizza eating and I was unable to fall asleep until about 4am. I should have been completely exhausted like my friends, who passed out around midnight, but this little bottle kept me alert, even when I pleaded for it not to.

Most energy drinks are targeted towards people between the ages of 15 and 30. Companies market them as "extreme" drinks that give you a rush. Most of them are so jam packed with artificial chemicals that I won't be shocked when studies come out in 10-15 years showing that everyone has pickled their insides and we're all going to die, but hey I stayed out all night partying so who cares?

There are other people who need pick me ups as well, but they aren't going to drive to the local convenience store and pick up a Monster or a Rockstar. There are health conscious people out there who want a little extra help getting their day going. Typically those people drink coffee, but Sambazon offers an alternative. This drink is a mixture of sparkling acai and acerola juice that are both extremely healthy fruits. Then they mix in organic guarana, guayaki and yerba mate to add an energy burst. It's all natural, and it's not going to give you the jitters like you might expect from your run of the mill energy drinks.

It definitely tastes like acai, which I know a lot of people are turned off by. If it's a flavor you're not into, you should steer clear of this product. I personally enjoy it when it's not too overpowering and it's not in this drink.

"Energy and persistence alter all things" - Benjamin Franklin

This is the quote on the back of the can. It really sets the tone for this drink because Benjamin Franklin is probably one of the last people I think of when talking about energy drinks. The only person that probably beats him is Fyodor Dostoyevsky. Have you ever seen a picture of him? Not exactly what I think of when I think "energy drink".

Upon first sip of this over breakfast this morning, I audibly said "what the hell is that!?" My housemate laughed but refused to try it because he hates energy drinks. I'm half way through the can and I still can't put my finger on what is making this taste so gross. It's like they took the generic Red Bull clone energy drink taste and thought "this tastes too good, let's make it more gross so we'll end up discontinuing the flavor and people can buy it for 60 cents a can at Big Lots". If someone has this internal memo from Relentless, I'd love to see it to confirm my suspicions.

You with the aluminum can
don't be discouraged
oh I realize
it's hard to stand out
in a world full energy drinks
you can lose sight of it all
and the taste inside you
can make you seem so bland

But I see your true colors
shining through
I see your true colors
and that's why no one loves you
so be afraid to let them show
your true colors
true colors are generic
like a Red Bull

Show me a can then
don't be unhappy, can't remember
when I last saw you tasting 'original'
if this world makes you thirsty
and you've drank all you can bear
you call me up
because you know I'll be there

And I'll see your true colors
shining through
I see your true colors
and that's why no one loves you
so be afraid to let them show
your true colors
true colors are generic
like a Red Bull

I've become pretty tolerant of energy shots in the past couple years. I don't feel like going back through all my reviews, but I'm guessing I've tried at least two-dozen different brands and flavors. Obviously some are better than others, but for the most part they are gross.

I found this one at the Dollar Store and I now know why. It has a gross chalky berry flavor that is just not appealing to me. Xtra Energy? More like Xtra gross.

Life in the lab is hard work. Long hours, no time to socialize (except at home on World of Warcraft), hardly any sleep, etc... We used to have a coffee pot in the lab. Unfortunately one time I accidentally poured mercury into it. I almost made a cup of coffee with it to give to the new janitor Franklin, but I decided I didn't want to accidentally cause someone else's death.

Sadly, my coffee drinking days in the lab are over. Which is why, like most scientists, I have switched to energy drinks. Most of my colleagues like the standard ones: Red Bull, Monster, Rockstar, Amp, etc... While those are all fine, I prefer to dig a little and find some hidden gems. This Neutron Energy one is one of my favorites currently. I was drawn to it by the name and artwork obviously. I love tart drinks as well and this one can definitely be classified as such. It has a strong grapefruit taste, which is awesome. It has a slight diet taste, but it definitely tastes better than most energy drinks. I've obviously never drank mercury coffee, but I'm sure it tastes better than that as well.

Remember Tommy Lee Jones in Batman? Two Face. This drink is not so much villain as much as it is just two faced. It's half good and half less good. Initially it tastes like a diet Capri Sun or Sunny D. It's got a somewhat gritty, "Hey they put powdered vitamins in here!" taste to it. Then it tastes like Tang. I like Tang. I love quality drinks but part of me loves Tang and ain't nothing wrong with that. Oh, you've got something against Tang? You think because you're an adult you can't like Tang anymore? You would be wrong, good sir.

What is this? A review for Tang? Nope. Not anymore. This drink is like a Gatling gun in your favorite video game with a Gatling gun. Here's how they work. You've got to get it up to speed before the bullets start flying and once it's going, momentum keep it going to when you're done shooting dudes, it's still spinning and you can shoot quickly until it slows down. This drink is like that. You have to drink through the roughness but once you get past it, you can keep sipping and it's good. Once you stop for a minute, you know, so that you're not drinking anymore, you have to re-work yourself back up.

Ever since I was a kid, I loved the taste of cough syrup. Whenever I got sick and had to take it, I secretly was excited. I was a good kid and never abused it or took it when I didn't need it. Even as an adult, I've only ever took it as needed.

Also when I entered adulthood, I found out that most people hate the taste of cough medicine. I was so confused when I found this out. Were they all getting gross flavors and I just always happened to buy the good stuff? This energy drink tastes just like grape cough syrup and I love it. It's not as thick as its medicinal counterpart, but it has a slightly thicker than normal consistency to it. The best part is this barely has any gross energy drink or diet taste to it.