Mike Literman - 1759 Reviews

Imagine for a second. You have a five-month-old kid who won't sleep. He's up every three hours including that awesome "ten minutes after you fall asleep" move which makes you contemplate, if only for a second, that you'll just let them starve and sit in pee for another hour so that you can get some sleep. Due to this constant up and down your sleep schedule is crunched down to a scatterbrained four or five hours night after night. You are up at six in the morning and you get some stuff done around the house and decide you're going to go to one of your favorite restaurants to get something for breakfast.

Your kid is sleeping soundly and for a minute, you actually and stupidly think that you're going to get time to enjoy a meal out without...woop...there it is. You eat like you have been stuck at sea for months and haven't had a good meal since you left shore and don't even get a chance to finish one single glass of iced tea, which you wanted…€¦a lot.

Since you're up so early, you decide to errands, all the while craving the tea that you had no chance to drink. Two hours later you're home and have no chance to sit and drink something because now you've got to do stuff around the house. You mow the lawn, plant a new hibiscus tree that you hope does well in your crappy soil, and try a new weed killer on the lawn which is fifty percent weeds.

Finally you're done. You're tired. You're accomplished. Your kid is asleep. You are all alone with silence in your house. You go into the fridge and there it is. Green tea, just green tea. No sugar. No preservatives. No fuss. You can't open it fast enough. You can taste the cool bite of the tea on your tongue. You wish it would never end. Had that can been bottomless, you would have somehow gotten to the end and asked for seconds. It's perfect. In this moment you are happy. And then your kid wakes back up and starts crying...

When I was in my fourth college I took a class called Media Analysis. Let me give you a heads up about my education for a second here. This was my fourth college. I hated school. It didn't help me, it just made me hate school and parking and people and jaded me more than I was already. There was a point where I called my mom after driving around the parking lot for 45 minutes to tell her that I was going to drop out because I hated every day of school and it all stemmed from me not able to find a parking spot. The only thing that school was good for was when Jay and I went to go see Morrissey a couple of years ago. So anyhow, Media Analysis was some garbage class that was talking about "what does it all mean" which is not a class that can be taught and for that reason, it sucked. We talked about theory and stuff, which was fine, but most of the class was so "meta" that it was like we weren't doing anything.

One thing that I did take away was the phrase "model". No, not model like those bitchin' Lamborghini Countach models you bought when you were ten and you stupidly took all the pieces off the plastic holder and when it came time to put all the pieces together, you, being ten, had no idea what the difference between a head gasket and a gas tank cover was so you could only put the shell together and that was utterly unsatisfying. "Model" being the base. The root. The core. The basis in which all others are related to. The median object. Make sense?

This root beer is the model root beer. It has a little bit of bite, a little dark, a pretty good overall flavor, moderately priced. Not "too" anything. Safe. It's good. That's all it is, but it's good. This is the root beer you would give someone who has never had root beer before but decides that after 37 years it's time.

I wouldn't buy it again because I know that there are better things out there, but for Walgreens to put out such an overall decent product says a lot. Kudos Walgreens, for caring enough to put something like this out.

Sherman, could you please get my Sorels? It's cold and I need to go outside to scour for food and supplies. They're in the back room. What are you doing? Why is it taking so long? What do you have there? Juice? Seriously? Well since I have it, I'll drink it. Whoa. Sherman. Where did you get this? You traveled all the way to town? I asked you to get my Sorel boots and you brought me...Sorrel drink. I guess I can see the problem here. Thanks, but why didn't you get some food when you were out? I mean you bought Ramen for yourself and this Sorrel drink, which I am quickly falling in love with. What are we going to eat later? We can only eat snow shaped like hot dogs for so long. I guess one more day won't hurt. Man, so good. Did you try this? Sherman, try it. It tastes like a spicy cranberry hibiscus juice. It's got that good ginger beer taste with a nice big fruit flavor. You like it, don't you buddy? Alright, I should have just gotten them myself. I'll get my boots and we'll go to town together and get stuff. I owe you one of these drinks because they are worth every penny. Maybe if you're good, I'll get you some chocolate. You love your chocolate.

You know who loved pina coladas? The Indians. Native Americans. Sorry. You think Arizona just arbitrarily put an Indian on the bottle? They had to earn it. For hundreds of years, Native Americans would ride on horseback from New Mexico to Puerto Rico in order to get authentic pina coladas. The horses never liked riding on the boats so often times they would have to let people in Cancun borrow their horses until they got back. Often times, they would come back and there would be ponies since they were gone enjoying pina coladas for so long. Once in Puerto Rico, they would order coconut after coconut filled with the milk as well as ground up pineapples and the finest rum that not a lot of money could by. They would fill their backsacks with coconuts right off the tree and pineapples off whatever pineapples come off of. I assume trees as well.

When the Native Americans heard that Arizona was making pina colada, they jumped on their horsies and rode to Arizona, only to find out that Arizona is actually based out of Upstate New York. They decided to just call them using their cellular phones and thank them. Arizona was so happy that the Indians liked their drink that they decided to take Stacy Keach off and replace it with the Indian leader at the time.

What the Indians liked about the Arizona is not only that it came in a resealable container, but that it used the finest coconuts like they got from Puerto Rico. The pineapple to coconut ratio was spot on and it was so well sweetened that it didn't need rum. They say that it gets to be a little too much for one person so they typically split it with their friends.

They thought that Arizona did such a nice job that they put one of their horses on a plane and shipped it to New York where Arizona built a nice employee ranch where they can go during lunch breaks and ride it and feed it out of their hands.

It's a wet one outside in otherwise Canada. You need to drink. It's been 93 degrees and you, rather stupidly, haven't drunk anything all day. Now it's raining and you have to go outside. You dumb idiot. You put on your nice shoes that in about ten minutes will be pretty close to ruined. You aren't front these parts and you don't know where to go. You are just walking blindly and wet down the street and you just so happen to stumble into a tiny bodega. You shake your head like a dog because you're in your late teens and you think that having super long hair is cool. You'll learn when you paint your room and get paint in your hair that maybe it's not as awesome as you thought. The man behind the counter say, "Nice weather we're having today, eh?" sarcastically and stereotypically Canadian. You hand the dude two Loonies and leave without your change because it's more important that you have a drink than change in a country that you are leaving in a day. You crack open your drink. Black tea? Mint? Lime? Alright. You might have done well for yourself. Take a sip...you could have done better. It certainly does have everything in it, but it's lacking something. You aren't mad because now you are quenching yourself and ringing out your Roots shirt that your dumb friend bought you as a joke in your hotel room. You don't hate the drink, but you might have been better off with either lime or mint. Both tastes like a strange mojito and you didn't want it.

You're leaving tomorrow with a sour taste in your mouth because you didn't get to see Dan Aykroyd amongst other celebrities, which brought you down to the great white North. You did have some poutine and it was just as gross as you thought. It wasn't a total loss because you did have Coffee Crisps and those are delightful.

Let me tell you right off the bat. Thirsty Dudes, as a whole, are not crazy about coconut water. It's nothing against manufacturers, it's just that we drank a handful of them and we just never had one that we liked. Recently Zico contacted us out of the blue and stepped up to the plate. They said that they had chocolate coconut water that we might be interested in. I took the challenge today. Here's how it went.

I knew that I didn't want to drink it lukewarm so I threw that cat in the fridge for a couple hours. That was problem number one is that warm coconut water is more creamy than refreshing. I had a nice, crisp, fresh bottle and I cracked it open and took a sip. It was great. Finally, an entire new category of drinks has emerged for the taking. The chocolate taste was good. It has a good chocolate smell almost like chocolate ice cream. It tasted like really smooth chocolate milk. Initially, I could not taste the coconut, which is great because I didn't go into this liking coconut water. As the temperature dropped, I could start to taste it, but it was subtle enough for me to get used to it.

Zico, you've done it. You've converted me. Congrats.

Kraft Foods sent us a sample of Crystal Light Mocktails and out of the goodness of my heart I made a pitcher of this and poured a glass for my girlfriend and myself. When I was pouring, she asked, "You have to make that in a pitcher." thinking that I had poured powder into cups and was just going to mix it up. Like I don't know how to read the simplest of directions. I quickly mocked her and brought her a glass with crushed, not cubed, ice. Honestly, when you have the option of having crushed ice, why would you ever go back? Oh, it gets my drink colder, faster? Naw, I'll go with the classic. Please.

So, not drinking, I don't know the pleasure or sorrow of a "real" mojito. I've had mojito drinks; little bit of lime, little bit of mint; but I've never had a pure, authentic one. So here's how my authenticity review process went:

Me: What do you think? Does this taste like a real mojito?
J: No. It tastes really diet.
Me: It's not really a mojito but compared to a real one, what do you think.
J: Well, I guess it tastes a little like it. If you put some rum and mint in this, it would taste pretty good.
Me: Well there is mint in here.
J: Actually it tastes a lot like a mojito.
Me: ...

Straight from someone who has had a mojito, and so that I'm not some poseur, there's your review. Within half a glass, you too can come full circle and feel like you're drinking a real mojito. My review? Sure. It's not bad. It doesn't really taste diet and actually all of the flavors are pretty calm and subdued but if they were any more enhanced, I feel that it would get overwhelming and might not be as quenching. I didn't get a lot of mint flavor, but the lime was there. It wasn't bad and I've got several more packs of the stuff that I won't get upset if I find made in my fridge. One small pack makes two quarts so a little bit goes a long way. This will be great for a party we're having next week for all those women who are watching their figure. Dudes, it's for you, too. It's just a drink. There is nothing fem about drinks.

There is a new Asian market not too far from my house. I have never been there because when Jay and I went, the joint was closed. I don't know why. It was like 8 o'clock on a Tuesday. I have never seen this stuff anywhere else so it leads me to believe that it's like another world in there, an Asian world.

I could never make it in any Asian countries because I would work all day training bonsai, not making a lot of money but enjoying every second of my life only to spend all my money on strange new drinks. I hope to go someday and ruin my life.

I could start ruining my life with this drink. Day in and day out, this tangy little number is like nothing we have here in the States. I don't know why. It could be a tariff issue since I don't know if we have green plums here, but we all know that if you hang a basket of green plums on the landing gear of a helicopter you can bring anything anywhere. Remember in The Simpsons where Bart brought chazwozlers, I mean frogs, to Australia and then on the way back, a koala just casually hung off the side of the chopper? Just hang a little picnic basket off the base of it and you've got it.

This is not overly sweet and it brings a genuine tanginess that I don't get with anything. It's small enough that I can drink the whole thing and not get sick of it. The taste is different and I can't describe it. It's not a standard plum, so it's not that. It's a bit like a green grape juice but with more zip. Zip. Yeah. Look it up in a book. The internet is tired.

I purchased this little gem as part of a mean sixer at a local Asian supermarket. I have been looking at it but have been too cheap to drop the necessary $4 to buy it. If it were in singles or an assorted pack, dude, I would have reviewed all of them, but when it comes to spending $4 on a juice box that I am going to drink one of and give the rest away, it's hard. I know my girlfriend has drunk two, Derek has one, I just drank one and that leaves a few more. I think I promised Jay one. Anyhow, the review...

I was impressed. I have had some strange, imported soy chocolate milk and they are gross. This rivals YooHoo, but probably not Nesquik because that is pretty darn fantastic in my opinion. This, to me, I think would be kid friendly, too. It's still a crap-load of calories (160) but if your son is lactose intolerant and needs chocolate milk, this won't make him get sick.

I really think that this could stand the kid taste test, too. If you had your kid drink 15 non-market chocolate milk boxes and then snuck one of these buddies in there, two things would happen.
1. I would call CPS on you because you just gave your kid 16 chocolate milks in one sitting and are a terrible parent.
2. Before you got carted away by the authorities, your kid wouldn't be able to tell the difference.

If you're vegan or lactose intolerant, get this. If you still don't want chocolate milk, enjoy your menial desk job, your boring car, your turkey sandwiches with the crust cut off, and your "Hang In There" cat poster, turd.

I hate mid-day naps. I'm busy and if I'm not, I like to relax, but sleep is for nighttime and if I have time to sleep in the day, I have time to play video games or, probably a better idea, work. Today was a nice warm day, too warm for jeans, but whatever. I'm a tough...ish guy.

It was lunchtime and we decided to take a walk to a local deli and grab a sandwich. They just started carrying Marley's and I noticed a while back that we never reviewed the green tea with honey flavor, so today was the day, friends. We bought a sandwich, fruit, and this drink, which came to an astonishing $16 and change and sat down. We must have been hungry because we both finished our sandwich before we even opened the drink. When we finally got around to opening it, it was well worth the wait. It was a very light green tea taste with a nice honey flavor right up front. The bitterness, which was small, was then soothed over by sweet honey and it really made you want to go back for more. We split that bottle right down the middle in no time flat.

Fast-forward an hour.

On our way home, we got about three blocks away and sleep hit us like a ton of bricks. We couldn't get home fast enough. We got home and all three of us passed out. I think my girlfriend put her head on the pillow and was instantly sleeping. I was fighting it because, as previously mentioned, I hate mid-day naps. I couldn't fight it anymore and we all slept for like three hours. Later we realized it wasn't due to lack of sleep, but due to Marley's Mood.

This isn't necessarily a bad thing, but man, if we wanted to be productive, I would have been pissed that I slept instead of re-paved the front walkway.

Recently my girlfriend has been obsessed with "Extreme Couponing", the show on A&E where mostly fat people buy processed food with coupons and get astounding deals. We watch it and I get frustrated because I used to work in a grocery store and it drives me crazy when cashiers scan the same item multiple times when they can just select a quantity, scan once, and be done with that entire idiot's cart full of 254 boxes of Yakisoba noodles. So she spends a little bit of time scouring websites and newspapers for coupons to save us some money.

Yesterday she bought like 10 items and had to split her order into like 3 or 4 transactions or the deals wouldn't come through. I purchased this drink and threw it in with her order. Without exaggeration, between her being considerate and letting other people go through in between transactions, some drug laden kids touching our kids feet, and the world's most apathetic cashier it took about a half hour from beginning to end to cash out. So was this drink worth it?

Short answer? Eh. Long answer. It was a good pop. Nice flavor. Not super, tooth decaying sweet. The "cream" wasn't all there, and I kind of wanted it to be, you know, the drink that I wanted it to be. It had a good, clean flavor; though, and if you're in the search for non-corn syrup, fruity pop, look no further than your local Walgreens. They have an array of flavors that I'll try in the future, but this is the first one that I did and I just hope that it goes up from here.

Ladies, ladies, no need to argue. You can both have what you want. Samantha, you can have a water and Carolyn, sorry, Caroline you can have a nice juice. Now look, I know you both didn't want to meet each other like thing, but I can assure you, no funny business is going on between any of us. Samantha, I enjoy your company because you like to go to the movies, and Caroline, I like to be with you because we go to fancy restaurants. Now although I didn't want you to ever meet each other, perhaps it's a good thing that you met my wife, my kids and I here at Applebees. It gives everyone a chance to air his or her grievances.

Honey, I know you're upset because I've been spending a lot of time at work when, in fact, I've been catching the latest summer blockbusters with Samantha. Samantha, I know you've been upset because I am always full and that's because a lot of times I just came back from dinner with Caroline. Caroline, I know you're at your wits end because I never want to stay over at your house and the answer to that is that I'm a married man and don't sleep around.

Sure, I entertain the company of several women, but I only love my wife, and that doesn't make me a monster, does it? Sure, I've been lying a bit, but it's just to keep you all apart so we don't ruin the good thing that we've got going. Speaking of good things, while I was at the store I picked up this Bot water. This is why I'm happy we can get together and I can please all of you at the same time. It's a blue plum flavor, which I have never heard of, and I'm a botanist. Apparently I'm not a good one. Right ladies? That was a joke. So anyhow, Samantha, you can drink this and be refreshed and quenched because you always drink a lot of water. Caroline, you love juice and order it whenever we go out to eat. Honey, you can drink this in its entirety and just plain old enjoy it because it's delicious. It's just sweet enough that you keep coming back for more. Also, ladies, you'll all come together on this, that it's not bad for you. If you all split this three ways, it would be less than twenty calories.

So lets all sit down, I'll have the waiter bring over one of those Ultimate Trios that we can all split and we can just talk. Ladies, you are all wonderful and since I've been honest, I can honestly hope that you will pick up the tab because I left my wallet in the car.

"Baby girl, you annoy me."
by Mike Literman

Why are you talking so loudly on the phone?
Are you upset that you aren't home?
The speaker is on and I can hear,
all of the complaints that you have to bear.
You hold the phone around your dumb head,
so everyone can hear what is said.
You are also pushing your baby in the middle of the street,
and for that, you should be beat.
You should calm down and drink Rob's iced tea with lemon,
or I'm going to have to ship you off to Yemen.
The drink is cool, natural, and fantastic,
Laura Palmer was wrapped in plastic.
The taste of the drink goes down so smooth,
Your scratchy throat induced from screaming needs to be soothed.
So girl walking in the middle of the street like a dumb dummy,
why don't you grab some of Rob's iced tea with lemon because it's nothing short of yummy.

Yeah, I know that I rhyme like a twelve years old boy. Guess what? I probably haven't written a poem since I was twelve so I'm right on track.

Things I've eaten today:
1. Raspberry yogurt. Good for you.
2. Deep fried chicken "Whopper" from a local pizza place. They are delicious, but not good for you.

So in order to meet myself in the middle with my daily nutrition guidelines, I decided on fruit punch. It's 100% of my vitamin C intake and probably has some other goodies in it. Here's the thing though. Sure, it's a HFCS jam, but it's got actual pear, orange, pineapple, grape, and apple juice in it. It is not bad and if you like fruit punch, you might want to grab this one because you will be surprised.

I did not have high hopes for it as it was on markdown and a place that already sells stuff on markdown, but look at me! I'm impressed.

What was wrong with the old South? I mean, racism aside, it's been a pretty good place, right? Well, excluding all those floods, tornadoes, hurricanes, and all that stuff, too. You know what else is "wrong" with the south? This drink. It's bad. It's downright gross. It's super fake-tangy. It might at one time have been a legit company, but tasting this drink makes me want to write them off completely. Nothing in this bottle tastes sincere, like dating a girl with a killer body only to find out that tissue paper and Spandex made it that way. All that hard work was for nothing. Surprises. I don't know why, but I didn't like the looks of this drink the minute I laid my eyes on it. It does smell like lemonade but that sting that I get when I drink it...where does that come from? It's not a sour sting. It's a chemical sting. Like that sting you get from Brisk iced tea. What is that and where does it come from?

The South. Get your acts together. I'm sorry about your tragedies, but this is inexcusable.

The thing about caffeine is that it makes me go a mile-a-minute and makes my hands go even faster. My typing of this review could break land speed records but the efficiency in which I type would make poor Mavis Beacon throw up. I'm more concerned with slamming down keys with speed rather than spelling things correctly and hitting that blasted "Backspace" key just slows me down. No, I'm not going to leave you with some unintelligible mess because that would be reckless.

Years ago, I used to work at a local grocery store. I didn't hate it, but I hated the focus that management, or as some like to refer to as "the man", had. See, cashiers are the end of the shopping experience. It's my face that would win or break their shopping experience and it was my awesome attitude and demeanor that would win your heart forever. Since "the man" wanted me to be faster and talk less, I was more of a machine than a person. This I didn't like. I could cash and bag just as fast if I could talk but no. Punch in. Punch out. Speed not service. That really bothered me. Had I known about this product, I would have drunk one before every shift and set the place ablaze. I would have rung your entire order of 251 products before you could get them all out of the cart. I would intrude on your personal space and start taking things out of your cart. I would have no regard for your safety and put things like raw chicken in with your baby toys and put laundry detergent in with your apples and not care. It's all about speed, after all, right? Safety comes second to speed. I would sneak off right at the start of a shift, grab a glass, fill it with approximately 12 - 16 ounces of water, stir in this powder and knock a shift out.

I didn't hate the flavor. It wasn't any different than the other Celsius flavors so if you love them, you've got another one that you can fit in any drawer you can throw at it. If you haven't had any Celsius drinks, they're a little bitey but that's the sucralose. Flavor-wise they're on par with most diet drinks, which is good because you can't taste that you're basically drinking straight caffeine. You could taste the berry and if I had one complaint, it would be that it didn't really mix well. It's not old stock and it clumped a little bit, but it didn't really taste any different when I was drinking it.

So if you are in the business where you've got to do repetitious tasks and you don't have to be terribly precise, this could be the product for you. My hands are going to cramp up and my keyboard is going to start smoking any minute.

Dear Grandmammy,

I've missed you. Ever since I moved to the big city, I haven't seen you. Let me tell you a little bit about the city. There are cars all over the street and people walking around and tall buildings. Everyone wears hats, which is a little strange, but it happens. To move from the country to the city was quite a feat. I mean, sure, I only had a few things; button down shirt, one pair of shoes, a pad of paper, and some toiletries. One suitcase is all I ever need.

The reason that I am writing you is that the city is stocked with some fancy teas. Not just black tea with milk and sugar for me, gram gram. They've got this stuff that is rose flavored green tea. It reminds me of you because it smells like you. I mean that in a good way. It's bitter, which is what green tea is supposed to taste like, or so I've been told. The taste is like I'm drinking this newfangled green tea through a bed of roses. It reminds me of that stuff daddy brought back from his trip to India for work except it was way tamer.

So I guess what I'm saying is that I don't need you anymore. I've grown up into a man and have replaced everyone I know with stuff from around the city so I'm not so homesick. I've met some kids around town that ride motorcycles and has a lot of tattoos and I think that I'm going to start to run with them. They seem like nice enough sorts.

Love,
Travis Tuffguy (formerly known as Travis Sprinkles)

All week I've been gardening. I filled two giant city garbage totes with scraps of ugly rose bush shrapnel, weeds, old perennials that never really came to fruition, and rocks that someone who lived in my house before me thought was a compliment and not just annoying. Have you ever tried to take one thousand small rocks out of dirt? It blows. Today I finished weeding my whole backyard; weed treated and then laid down a layer of weed blocker. My soil is shot and it needed to be tilled like you wouldn't believe. Not to mention that it hasn't rained in a week, which I'm not complaining because I'm living the wettest summer that this city has ever seen. I don't mean that dramatically, I mean that almanatically. I planted peppers, strawberries, brussel sprouts, and as you can see in the picture, a little jelly bean plant. I saw this guy and had to buy it. I don't have the greenest thumb, but with a succulent, you have a bit of give.

So with all of this going on, and me not having a servant that would bring me a cool glass of water, I decided to go through my stock and grab something that would be both quenching and have a purpose. I picked this Activate drink up not too long ago and it was the perfect drink for the day.

Yes, its intended purpose is for workout, but seriously go to a Curves and look around. Would you say that me hand tilling, digging, planting, lifting buckets of dirt, and just general yard work is more or less than putting the treadmill on "turtle" and watching "The View"? More, right? So I don't need to necessarily "workout" to drink this now, do it?

I liked it a lot. It was a good, genuine lime flavor. The Stevia did a great job of letting that shine through. It really was nothing more than a sweetened lime flavored water. It was a bit "from powder" or "from concentrate" but I'm not holding that against them because it was. I saw it. I made it. I liked it.

Tom, a dude that works where I work, is from Rochester, NY. When he found out about Thirsty Dudes, he instantly told me about a place by where he grew up where you could drive your car into the warehouse and the employees would bring stuff right to your car. He's in his thirties and talked about it like he was ten. He said his favorite flavor was the black cherry. I told him I had some at home and that I would bring it in next time I came in. So I brought it in, told him I brought it in, and he seemed pretty excited. Excited enough, in fact, that at about ten in the morning, he poured himself a cool glass of it.

Since he couldn't be the only guy partying down so early in the morning, we all had a glass ourselves and I've got to say, as a man drinking something I probably haven't in fifteen years, I'd be psyched to relive all of the flavors that I had as a kid. As a man who hasn't had this before and didn't know what to expect, it's a pretty average black cherry pop. It's not bad by any means, but it's nothing to write home about, unless you're writing home to say that you found some know-it-all kid who reviews drinks found something that you grew up with that you haven't had in years.

Someone please write their parents about me. I don't even care if you know me. You can get a pretty solid feel of what I'm all about in these reviews. Make stuff up, I don't give a rip, just let me know what you write. I'm interested in the tales you will make up.

You are a citrus demon. You can't have enough. You eat lemons for breakfast, grapefruit for lunch, and limes for dinner. Oranges are snacks to you. The acidity running through your blood would burn through the toughest metals but it somehow is contained safely in your veins. If you were stabbed, your blood would eat through the knife before it got to any vital organs.

When you're thirsty, you don't reach for an iced tea. Not even a lemon iced to can quench your acid driven thirst. Not even the sourest of lemonades can quench you at times. This time, when you are in need, look no further, for College Club has developed a secret blend of grapefruit and lemon. This isn't your grandpappy's half and half. It's tart, a bit sour, and yes, obviously tastes like Squirt. Side by side I might be able to pick out the lemon, but alone, it's a whole lot of grapefruit. Actually, now that I think about it, it was tamer than a Squirt so I wonder if the lemon calmed it down a bit and kind of turned down the grapefruit.

Either way, you'll love it and it is, without a doubt, a great summertime drink. Put some ice in a glass, and if you're some sort of fancy pants, put an umbrella in there. Also, since you love it so darn much, College Club only makes it in quarts so drive on down to Western New York and go through their drive through and pick some up. Talk to the brothers while you're down there. You won't regret it.